The guys rate dating apps, followed by hating on Supreme and brands in general. After reimagining a few reality TV shows, and discussing the presence of poetry within prose, they cap off the episode with a discussion of what On Things really means to them.

This week, the guys start off with Trump's likely Monopoly obsession and invent a hit new board game, Dongleglider. Diving deeper, the discussion turns to envisioning hypothetical failures and the overall effects of the past and the future on the present. Things go full Kwisatz Haderach toward the end, get ready.

Donny reveals his bold new career choice as an experimental brain surgeon, and George volunteers (for an apprenticeship). The guys dive into the loss and redefinition of tribalism in the 21st century, and what that means for our brains. Finally, a full deconstruction of #ConfessYourUnpopularOpinion, and why popularity means different things in different brains. Brains brains brains.

Donny and George get on social media again, and still aren't impressed with advertising husks. Donny reads an article about chefs foraging for berries, leading George to ask the age-old question: what is a foodie? With no answers in sight, the conversation devolves into a nihilistic tirade where the guys find themselves debating the value of giraffe survival.

Donny and George crunch the numbers and submit a tidy tally of caffeine consumption to the viewers. George figures out why the guys are bad at parties, and Donny discovers he's not a real misanthrope, he's a real writer! Really, people!

Jokes aside, this one's deep. If you find yourself having trouble contributing to that football conversation at work, you're on the same things we are.

This week on the things: faking your way through a career, authority problems, and recognizing your manager's corpse being hauled up the corporate escalator. Ahhhh, the sweet ascension to heaven.

Donny gets real heretical and declares Rowling and Trump fans to be the same thing. George defends the best-selling author of all time. Donny responds with a nervous breakdown.

This week, our parents are getting shot with news muskets, we're over here getting news nuked. Donny makes George brown out with a rudimentary understanding of electrical infrastructure, and we make it very clear what a best case singularity situation looks like. We're on so many things, ladies and gentlemen.

BONUS CONTENT!!! The hosts release 40 minutes of original music they made in 24 hours, thanks to a dare. George goes full prog to fight the sadness of social media ("SORRY NO ESCAPE"), and Donny makes an album on his phone in hopes of portraying robot samsara ("Gotra"). Get on all these tasty jams and give it a spin!

The end is nigh in the world of convenient grocery purchases! Sweet monopoly cream sweeps over your produce choices. That said, the institutions are turds and Donny declares that he might be a REAL anarchist. The boys take a stand on the definition of a real underdog and on that note... Are you stepping on different vermin than the government?

This week the boys try to figure out who they are, because their plain t-shirts just aren't doing the trick. George becomes a river explorer, knees and beer coolers be damned. No one cares that Donny ate ten tacos in one sitting, and neither host can figure out how to be a proper post-millennial. Things are on up in here!