On This Walk

Today’s episode is truly unique, as we have not one, but two special guests to accompany us on this walk. The topic of discussion is sensitive and personal. Today, we talk about sexual abuse and its effects on mental health in men; a path both of these men have experienced and are now standing strong to support others.

We talk about fighting the monster within, the role of radical acceptance, how we create new commitments, and key pivot points in each of our journeys.  Both Tom and Reggie accompany me on this walk and together, we turn towards our hurts, our pain, and our mental health, as men.

In This Episode

Notable Quotes

• “As I grew older, and I grew the capabilities to help myself, I no longer needed that gremlin. But that gremlin was always there holding me back. Then when I got to the point where I had to talk directly to myself and who I was, I realized that I was not a monster. The feeling was compassion. There was so much compassion that came over me that, ‘why am I being so hard on this guy’, because he is a beautiful human being. Like any of us, we are harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else. I was so hard on myself that when I got the opportunity to love who I was, having that compassion was so beautiful. It was a big hug that I gave myself and I still do to this day, when there are times when they are challenging. I realize I am not that person I think I am right now. So it was compassion that overwhelmed everything when I allowed that to happen.” Tom (15:37)

• “Listening is huge. Making sure that they know that I am available. As an athlete, even when it came to my own parents, when you are going through this experience, very few people understand how you really feel; how it actually is, because they have never actually done it themselves. They can study it. You can look at it in a book or look at it on TV but you are never going to understand the feeling that someone like me would have that justified. The background that came from; why I am doing this. Why I am finding enjoyment out of this. One thing I have that I feel saved me going through this experience, even going through all the abuse, was I had a system for solving problems. I came into an environment and I studied the environment first and the people. I had a way of going about things that ensured my success.” Reggie (1:07:18)

Our Guests

Tom Kress is a public speaker, certified life coach with a mission to guide people to live a powerful life. As a survivor, he has spoken to over 400 schools and thousands of students on sexual abuse, awareness and prevention. To date, Tom has empowered 180 students to come forward about their abuse.

Reggie Walker has been on the show before. He is the creator of the Personal Mastery school, a program built to help anyone find answers to what is their purpose or plan in life. Reggie suffered sexual abuse when he was young, which affected him all the way to the NFL. He is a TEDx speaker, public speaker, consultant, and problem solver for businesses.

Resources & Links

On This Walk

In today’s walk, we’re taking on a very special topic with an equally special guest. Today we talk about human design, a very deep and complex concept that has intrigued me ever since I was introduced to it, many years ago. To accompany me on this journey is my walking partner for today, Nik McRae, who I first met 3 years ago. 

Over the years, my conversations with Nik have been extremely helpful and insightful and have taught me many deep things about myself. Nik helped me understand some of the tendencies that are innately baked into the design of who I am. This also allowed me to connect with some tools and gifts that I didn’t even realize I had.

So for this conversation, not only do we discuss more about human design but I put my own design fully on view as Nik uses my profile to illuminate this system and wisdom. As part of this, we get into the importance of waiting to act at the right time, how stress and urgency affects our design, and finding our rhythms in life… among a lot more.

In This Episode

Notable Quotes

• “We go through these changes of season because there are meant to be these cycles that are recurring within our universe. One of the seasons specifically is reminding us of that process of birth, life, death. Going into death and then the rebirth cycle. And we go through these different phases throughout the course of our lives. And to me, the more that we start to pay attention to what feels like the divine timing or life's timing for us as it begins to unfold is becoming more and more felt to me because it doesn't feel like I'm trying to force my way through the way things are happening and instead to work with it, to be in the flow of the river as opposed to trying to direct the river in a given way.” - Luke (1:26:39)

• “What I have been finding to be most beneficial in working with friends and clients and family members and especially with my own designs over the years, it’s not how we fit into our design but how our design helps us navigate our own experiences more innately, more instinctually. The more you start to learn about the nuances of these systems and when you have someone to help translate that into actual experiences of your life, that when we can start to see how to apply these things in a practical way that has nothing to do just with the belief of it but has everything to do with the application of it.” – Nik (09:48)

Our Guest

Having been introduced to the world of emotional and energetic repatterning as a child, Nik McRae has been studying and practicing in the esoteric arts all of his life. With 10 + years working professionally as a mentor of astrology and human design, he specializes in shadow work integration and esoteric tool building practices using the language of metaphors, vibrational resonance and a unique tool forging process, Nik reveals how fundamental principles and practices can be refined into specialized patterns that apply to our lives directly every day. 

Find Nik and learn more about your own design at www.BeyondIroNik.com. 

Resources & Links

On This Walk

Today’s walk is a special one. We’re not just diving into a topic; we’re diving into an edge, a sharp one at that. I am talking about the edge of ‘not enough’ and the many forms it takes; like not good enough, not strong enough, not smart enough, not fast enough, not young enough, the list goes on as to how it chooses to appear before us. Ultimately, this not enough-ness takes on the form of familiar questions mainly, who am I? and subsequently, who are you? 

On this walk, I invited back a familiar face from Episode 17, Genevieve Georget, to discuss at length, this feeling of not enough-ness as we begin to respond to our lives and respond to whatever spotlight is shown our way.

In This Episode

Notable Quotes

• “This isn’t simply about sharing your stories as a writer or being vulnerable in your art. This is about us finding that edge within our lives. I’ve often held back that vulnerability and openness because of my own self judgment; those feelings of not enough-ness or shame or even just not wanting to look as if I was clueless and as confused as I actually was feeling. I feared embarrassing myself or being judged, by holding back that often perpetuated whatever the situation was for longer than it needed to be. I’d walk around with that feeling of constriction and dissonance within me because I knew that I had retreated. That I hadn’t spoken to whatever was there at the moment. For me, I hid. And then I beat myself up for not having the courage to learn. Ultimately, I needed to find that edge and start stepping past it.” – Luke (28:30)

• “I think it also highlights that vulnerability is a learned skill. The more we practice it, the easier it becomes, more comfortable. We become in that space of sharing those things. Of course, it's super normal if all you have ever known is superficial conversation and it’s completely normal to feel afraid of how this piece of yourself, of your heart is going to land especially with strangers. But the more you do it, the easier it becomes. The more you start to see that people are actually very open and receptive and grateful for that vulnerability but also you begin to have space. The more you practice it, the more you create space between yourself and other people’s responses to it. So, on both levels it becomes easier, it becomes a love bubble that you create around yourself. The right people are drawn to it. The people who aren’t or who are critical, you start to care less.” – Genevieve (08:54)

Our Guest

Genevieve Georget is a writer and photographer from Ottawa, Canada that believes in cultivating space for vulnerability, truth, authenticity, and storytelling. In her last two books, Solace: A Journal of Human Experience (2019) and Her Own Wild Winds (2016), Gen explored grief, pain, love, and inspiration. Genevieve finds joy in her life with her husband, her kids, and her golden retriever. Her newest project is her new magazine called Gray and Granite, which she describes as a story teller’s journal, a place for stories to land, life to be shared and connections to be made.

Resources & Links

On This Walk

For a big part of my life and even to this day, I have been a yes person; always willing to help people in whatever capacity they need me. However the energy behind my actions today is much more centered and genuine than it was before.

Before it was more about pleasing others and wanting the world to have a favorable view of me. Now it’s all about who I truly am. I had to reflect on myself in order to realign my beliefs and let go of some commitments that I had unconsciously made about why I was helping others. In short, I had to own myself and my actions in order to find purpose, meaning, balance and fulfillment.

Today’s walk is about owning who you are, and my walking partner understands this all too well. Liz Brunner has committed herself to reinvention and to something I call a re-deepening process allowing her to move closer to the center of who she is.

In This Episode

Notable Quotes

• “Very often, I would be one of the first ones to say yes to jump in and help out a friend or a colleague. However, ultimately, I recognized that most of my yeses stemmed from a combination of people pleasing or wanting others to have a favorable view of me. It wasn’t as genuine as true service because I wasn’t being honest with myself as to where my yeses were actually stemming from. And that led to a deeper exploration of my needs; my need to be liked or recognized; my need to avoid conflict or rejection or judgment, and so on. It opened up an opportunity for me to get to know myself better; to release some of those blocks and some of those old commitments that I had unconsciously made about why I was helping others. I still have that commitment to service. It truly is a part of who I am, but the energy behind it now is so much more genuine. It’s congruent and it’s centered because the way that I serve is much more aligned with who I really am and not based on the expectations of others or my need of their approval.” – Luke (01:56)

• “A lot of people think vulnerability and authenticity is ‘oh you just wear your heart on your sleeve, and you share everything with everybody.’ No! You share your stories with people who have earned the right to hear them. That’s vulnerability. Authenticity is there is never a question about your actions and your behavior. They are in sync. That’s being authentic. And I think it’s really important that people, particularly when you are in this position of saying, maybe I should do something else, what am I going to do, how do I figure it out; you do have to be that authentic and that vulnerable with the people who have earned the right to hear your stories and people you trust. And that’s not easy.” – Liz (48:37)

Our Guest

Liz Brunner is the CEO and founder of Brunner Communications and the bestselling author of Dare to Own You. She leverages more than 30 years of media and communication experience and expertise to support individuals and organizations in building meaningful reputations and powerful brand identities. She is also the host of Live Your Best Life Podcast, where she shares success stories of recreation, reinvention, and re-deepening.

Resources & Links

On This Walk

For the longest time, I believed that the whole idea of living a balanced life where your entire day is compartmentalized was total nonsense. Speaking from personal experience, I knew that no matter how hard you tried to stay on course, life would always get in the way and alter your routine. I was convinced that balance was an illusion until I realized that my understanding of balance and freedom were incorrect.

To expand on that, today I am inviting back someone who you have seen here before on ‘On This Walk’. Matt Hogan has an endless fascination and devotion to the path of self-mastery in living an aligned life. His own personal journey of mastering his life through a growing connection with his own inner teacher and guidance has forged the foundation for what inspires and propels him. I am hoping that it will inspire you and many others as well.

In This Episode

Notable Quotes

• “This is then finding that balance between being and doing, which I also didn't have a great understanding of because I was always so active. And so there was never space to just simply be and then allow whatever needed to unfold, to unfold. Or when you can be in that spaciousness and content to just be in that spaciousness. You can begin to connect to things that are more deeply aligned because you're seeing and feeling them beneath all the mind chatter, beneath the need to be doing, beneath the need to answer other people about what you're doing. And you connect to these more authentic answers and insights or directions. And then you do, and then you take action, then you move something forward and you don't just go for the next 10 years. You move something forward a little bit and then you stop again. And you pause and you be, and you start to more fluidly move through the being and doing until there is a partnership, there is a dance between them that works very well.” – Luke (22:36)

• My first orientation to life when I was 18 was that life was scary. It was scary to be alive than to be dead. I literally oriented through life that everyone was out to get me. I was weak. I was powerless. And there was nothing I could do to change it. Over time, going through university and all the different material expressions of my life, university, being engaged, corporate life, all those things, my internal experience and my self-concept started to shift. The essence though that has pulled me these past two decades when I really started to look at it differently was that I was about rising up and overcoming pain but when I really stop to look at it, there is another lens that works too. All this time I have been remembering how to love myself. I’ve been remembering how to love life. I’ve been remembering how to enjoy life. To love other people. To have other people love me. To enjoy my time here. To find magic in the moment. To really being able to wake up and go, ‘Damn I’m happy to be alive.’” – Matt (49:11)

Resources & Links

On This Walk

Matt Hogan

How do you listen within? How do you begin to center yourself and hear the deeper messages trying to come from within you? 

These are questions I have asked myself many times over the years. On my personal journey toward an authentic connection to my innermost self, I have taken many paths. Some were more difficult than others. Some were not as helpful as others. Some require little effort, and some require significant effort. On my personal journey, I realized the “right path” is not always linear or clear. Perhaps many of you are struggling to find the right path toward an authentic connection and cannot seem to find a path that feels aligned with your goal. 

On today’s walk, I pull from my years of academic and experiential education to share with you a few ways to start this practice and navigate your journey toward an authentic connection with your innermost self by giving you some guidance that worked for me in the hope that the lessons I’ve learned on my journey to an authentic self will help you find the path to yours.

In This Episode

Notable Quotes

• “What’s important here is to recognize that the body is always talking to us through sensations - through feelings, even those feelings of tension and stress. The body is trying to communicate with you and the body holds extraordinary intelligence and wisdom that it’s trying to bring to the surface. We’ve got to slow down long enough and bring our awareness to it. So to spend time to really begin to feel into whatever it is that is present within your body. To feel for where there is comfort and where there is discomfort; where there is ease and where there is strain. Where do you feel expanded and where do you feel constricted, whatever that might be. It might even be a little knot in your muscles. It might be a creak in your neck. It could be any number of different things. But just take time to scan the body and get present to what is there right now.” - Luke (2:52) 

• “The heart communicates best when it is in what is called a coherent state...meaning a natural, peaceful, balanced rhythm that allows our body to be in a more restorative and generative state of being…When we are in this state, there is a different level of fluid connection between the heart and the brain. They are coherent. They are in balance. And, therefore, they are communicating more fluidly and intuitively and not as many distractions are getting in the way. Which is why we wanna ask the questions in this type of a present state - a coherent state. So to ask questions like this: “what is it that you are truly longing for? What sorrow do you feel for the world, your family, or your communities? What joy or beauty or love do you feel for the world, your family, loved ones, or community? What do you wish for me to see, to feel, or to know? What is it that you know that I need most right now? What might most support me at this time?” And you can even ask your heart, “What would you ask of me? What would you have me do?” You can ask any number of questions of your heart that can take you deeper and deeper into your experience.” - Luke (12:43)

Resources & Links

On This Walk

Have you ever felt like your introversion has left you feeling inferior because you choose to observe rather than speak up? How can introverts find balance in solitude and simultaneously be in a community with others? 

Our heart-centered guests on this week’s episode of On This Walk are two of my past walking partners, Jenny Wiley and Michael Smith. They both have experience working with others in their respective positions and helping communities of individuals find their purpose and fulfillment. Also, as people with introverted qualities, they know the struggle to find a balance between solitude and socialization.

Today, we’re unpacking that challenge and exploring how meditation, boundaries, and permission can allow us to find safety in ourselves and our identities.  

In This Episode

Notable Quotes

Our Guests

Jenny Wiley specializes in community coaching and helping organizations rebuild, reenergize, and grow. She currently serves as Director of Programming & Community Growth for the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC), which works with committed individuals to help them reach their goals, dreams, and realize their potential. 

Doctoral-trained therapist and healing practitioner Michael Smith is the founder of Empath Connection. As a leader in mind-body holistic healing for nearly two decades, Michael has personally coached thousands of individuals to make stronger connections between mind, body, and spirit. 

Resources & Links

On This Walk

Jenny Wiley

Michael Smith

After the valuable and intimate conversation that Robert Cumming and I shared in the last episode, we realized that our walk together was not finished. Today, he’s joining me for another episode to discuss the task of loving ourselves well, the difference between positive and negative shadows, and raising children that can balance both. 

One thing that really struck Rob in our last conversation was this idea that Rob is still on a journey to loving himself. After recording part 1, that sentiment stuck with him, and questions and thoughts began to circulate about this topic. 

Tune in to this episode to explore what it means to prioritize rest, learn about how we are approaching balance in fatherhood, and discover how you can begin showing your whole self to the world. 

In This Episode

Notable Quotes

Our Guest

Robert Cumming is a leadership expert and martial artist that teaches others the art of connection, compassion, and discipline. After being bullied as a child/young adult and struggling to find healthy friendships, he found solace in the sport of taekwondo. Today, he teaches kids martial arts and coaches others on leadership and empathy in every environment.

Resources & Links

On This Walk

Robert Cumming

Being in community with others is an important piece of the human experience, but how do we differentiate between belonging and simply being accepted? 

In this episode of On This Walk, I’m chatting with Robert Cumming, 6th degree taekwondo black belt, leadership coach, and martial arts teacher. He pours into the lives of his students by teaching them to balance compassion, self-discipline, connection, and determination. He knows the struggle to find a healthy community well, and he uses that life experience to help others become who they are meant to be and ultimately find belonging. 

In Part 1, we discuss becoming rather than achieving, the importance of conscious leadership, and how his unique journey has led him through the full spectrum of emotions. 

In This Episode

Notable Quotes

Our Guest

Robert Cumming is a leadership expert and martial artist that teaches others the art of connection, compassion, and discipline. After being bullied as a child/young adult and struggling to find healthy friendships, he found solace in the sport of taekwondo. Today, he teaches kids martial arts and coaches others on leadership and empathy in every environment.

Resources & Links

On This Walk

Robert Cumming

I’m sure you’ve encountered a moment where your gut and intuition is nudging you in a different direction… But what do you do with that small cue? How do you know when it’s time to move toward new purpose and fulfillment? 

Mario Lanzarotti knows this journey well, and now as a public speaker, conscious leader, and mindset coach, he helps solopreneurs and high-achieving individuals find their sense of self and the path that is meant for them. 

He has a heart for helping others and continually furthering his growth. In today’s episode, he’s sharing how he found his calling after initially chasing a completely different career, how this process led him through moments of necessary vulnerability, and the lessons he’s learned about finding purpose, hope, and the divine. 

In This Episode

Notable Quotes

Our Guest

Mario Lanzarotti is a public speaker, conscious leader, and mindset coach that supports solopreneurs on their journey to finding their purpose, utilizing their unique skills, and silencing their self-doubt. His mission to build up and foster a community of healthy, hopeful, and highly-motivated individuals is evident through his determination and perseverance after his own period of uncertainty surrounding his calling. 

Resources & Links

On This Walk

Mario Lanzarotti