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Orange Juice Optional
By Michelle Milne and Suzanne HuenersComedySociety & CultureComedy InterviewsRelationshipsPersonal Journals
Orange Juice Optional episodes
- Why Hello... Was That a Compliment?
Welcome to 2021! With the new year finally here, Michelle and Suzanne spend this episode talking about putting Christmas 2020 away and moving on with some of the resolutions they have made. Along the way, they touch upon Suzanne’s calendars, wedding planning and a very sincere compliment they have received about the podcast before diving deeply into a number of backhanded compliments that they have experienced over the years. They then draw things to a close with an examination of Suzanne’s road rage and a glimpse of their upcoming episode and its special guest.
If today’s show is any indication, we are in for an absolutely fabulous 2021 with these two witty and thoroughly entertaining best friends spreading their trademark joy and humor each week in the Orange Juice Optional podcast.Episode Highlights:
· Suzanne’s calendars· Moving on from Christmas· Wedding planning· Suzanne and Michelle’s New Year’s resolutions· One sincere and many backhanded compliments· Suzanne’s road rage· The upcoming episodeQuotes:
“Now we have the task ahead of us of getting back to normal.”“You give away all of our secrets, Suzanne.”“By December 26, I’m ready to tear everything down.”“You let me know how February in Alaska goes.”“Challenge yourself a little more.”“I am a bigger chicken than you are at everything…I’m happy in my safety zone.”“That is a big leap in challenging yourself.”“I’m a little obsessive-compulsive.”“We can joke about it now.”“I cringe now every time I look in a mirror.”“I did have an eating disorder when I was younger, so I have body dysmorphia.”“The Spanx weren’t even working in those photos.”“We’re always our worst critic.”“Have you seen me eat? Have you seen me drink?”“I am a road rage driver.”“Happy 2021 to everybody!”Links:
Homepage: Orange Juice OptionalGoodnight Sweet Bear: Goodnight Sweet BearWhy Hello! Modern Home: Why Hello! Modern HomeWhy Hello! Modern Home FacebookWhy Hello! Modern Home InstagramA Milne Shares: A Milne SharesTo share comments & podcast ideas please email: OJO Email
48 min - Why Hello... 2021!!
It’s a no orange juice day for Suzanne and a sparkly, festive mixer day for Michelle as they start the countdown to the new year. In this, their year-end episode, they review the best and worst of 2020, offer some things to look forward to in the coming year, and share stories about a number of topics that arise along the way.
Michelle starts off by describing her New Year’s Eve celebration before Suzanne shares her biggest positive for 2020, her Thanksgiving meltdown, and the insights into the past year and taking care of ourselves that she heard from Fran Dreschler. They continue with stories about travel, eggnog, things they’ll be happy to say goodbye to, and the first thing they’ll do when COVID ends. Michelle and Suzanne finish the episode on an uplifting note, sharing some of their positives from the past year and looking at resolutions for the coming one. If you, too, are ready to bid farewell to a decidedly tough 2020 and to look forward with hope to the possibilities of 2021, you’ve come to the right place. Enjoy this opportunity to ring in the new year with these two devoted, fun loving, and thoroughly entertaining friends.Episode Highlights:
· Michelle’s New Year’s Eve celebration· Suzanne’s biggest positive of 2020· Her Thanksgiving meltdown· Michelle’s spiritual awakening· Fran Drescher’s insights· Cruises· Suzanne’s homemade eggnog· Their New Zealand trip· Things they’ll be happy to say goodbye to in 2020· The first thing they’ll do when COVID is over· Some positives of 2020· New Year’s resolutionsQuotes:
“It’s all about perspective.”“He’s breaking out of baby jail.”“I couldn’t deal with giving him baby food turkey.”“I'm getting really good at doing nothing well.”“I think really we have spent the year exploring new adventures.”“Whatever you put out into the universe you’re going to get back.”“The year of the reset button.”“It’s learning how to take care of the inside of you to protect the outside of you.”“I don’t really miss Alaska.”“This homemade eggnog thing is killer!”“I think I would need to be sedated.”“I didn’t mean to be rude.”“You have good intent in your heart, and they think you’re being an ass.”“Clearly, I must read lips more than I listen.”“I want my thigh gap to start going the other way – getting it back.”“I have let my discipline go.”“I am ready to have fun again.”“You just have to go to the next level.”“Happy New Year! And cheers! We’ll talk to you in 2021.”Links:
Homepage: Orange Juice OptionalGoodnight Sweet Bear: Goodnight Sweet BearWhy Hello! Modern Home: Why Hello! Modern HomeWhy Hello! Modern Home FacebookWhy Hello! Modern Home InstagramA Milne Shares: A Milne SharesTo share comments & podcast ideas please email: OJO Email48 min - Christmas Miracle
Welcome to the second Christmas episode of the Orange Juice Optional podcast this year. This time around, Michelle and Suzanne share updates on their shopping, their gift wrapping traditions, some of their Christmas Season experiences so far this year and the effect COVID has had upon them, as well as some Christmas movie recommendations. They also discuss their Christmas cards and calendars, some happy stories from past Christmases, and, as promised, stories of their most disappointing Christmas gifts over the years.
2020 has undoubtedly been a year filled with challenges, and, happily, today’s episode brings a welcome relief of humor, friendship, and joy – just what we all need. As this Christmas week begins, treat yourself to this fun and entertaining conversation, sure to inject some merriness into your holiday season and beyond.Episode Highlights:
- An update on Michelle and Suzanne’s Christmas shopping
- Their gift wrapping traditions
- Working with new technology
- Their Christmas Season experiences this year and how COVID has impacted them
- Christmas movie recommendations
- Christmas cards and calendars
- Stories from past Christmases
- Disappointing Christmas gifts
Quotes:
“I’m feeling a little discombobulated this year...completely overwhelmed.”“I pride myself on how I shop, and this year has just been a disaster.”“I’m a huge Hallmark person.”“Our takeout bills are ridiculous!”“I haven’t even listened to Christmas music, is that not pathetic?”“We need a little brightness right now.”“They all wanted to be the donkey.”“It’s really disappointing that we’ve had no family gatherings so we have no pictures for my calendar.”“Why does every conversation evolve into COVID?”“It was so much of a train wreck I couldn’t move my eyes.”“He almost went through that window.”“She almost burned our house down.”“His dad got a TSA lap dance.”“My dad’s motivation was the grandkids.”“This is so disgusting!”“There were no diamond earrings on those feet!”“My kids all refer back to that particular Christmas.”“It wasn’t pretty. I’m not very proud of it.”“I felt like I was in a commercial.”“I’m looking forward to this crazy.”“Merry Christmas to you and all our listeners.”Links:
Homepage: Orange Juice OptionalGoodnight Sweet Bear: Goodnight Sweet BearWhy Hello! Modern Home: Why Hello! Modern HomeWhy Hello! Modern Home FacebookWhy Hello! Modern Home InstagramA Milne Shares: A Milne SharesTo share comments & podcast ideas please email: OJO Email56 min - 12 Days of Christmas
Now that we are within 12 days of Christmas, Michelle and Suzanne bring listeners the first of their two Christmas episodes. As you will discover, this season, all the way from Thanksgiving to New Years, is Michelle’s absolute favorite, and she and Suzanne have a lot of great stories and observations to provide some much needed cheer to everyone here today. Just a heads-up that, since they will be talking about the many ‘behind the scenes’ aspects of Christmas, you may want to listen to today’s episode in a kid free zone.
They begin by sharing some examples of the spirit of Christmas that have already taken place in their lives this year, and then review the status of their Christmas shopping so far. Our hosts go on to recount their stories about mall Santas as well as Christmas memories, traditions, and meals. They finish up this first Christmas episode of the year by reviewing their gift giving traditions and opinions. As we all know, 2020 has been a year unlike any other, making this lighthearted and thoroughly entertaining episode just what everyone needs to bring that joyful spirit of Christmas to life.Episode Highlights:
- The spirit of Christmas
- Michelle and Suzanne’s Christmas shopping so far
- Santa stories and favorite Christmas memory stories
- Christmas traditions
- Suzanne and Michelle’s Christmas meals
- The MEATER
- Gift giving traditions and opinions
Quotes:
“I’m a foot shopper, normally.”“Everything is sold out!”“I appreciate people who choose to shop local.”“There’s always next year to terrorize him.”“Nobody sees it like a child does.”“How traumatizing!”“I never fix anything I don’t like.”“It’s hard to go into a church that you don’t know much about.”“And there’s no donkey in the Christmas story.”“He’s wrapped my Christmas gifts in newspaper.”“It’s the best thing they never knew they wanted.”“When have I ever been an extra small?”“They send Robb alerts!”“I love having my own budget.”“I just don’t have the discipline to stick by it.”“It costs nothing to be kind…do what you can to bring a smile, because that smile will travel.”Links:
Homepage: Orange Juice OptionalGoodnight Sweet Bear: Goodnight Sweet BearWhy Hello! Modern Home: Why Hello! Modern HomeWhy Hello! Modern Home FacebookWhy Hello! Modern Home InstagramA Milne Shares: A Milne SharesTo share comments & podcast ideas please email: OJO Email50 min - COVID
Today, Suzanne and Michelle tackle one of the biggest stories of 2020, the COVID-19 pandemic. While this event impacted everyone throughout the world, this episode takes a look at precisely how it affected, and continues to affect, our two hosts and their families – decidedly an ‘orange juice not required’ topic.
They begin with the story of their Uber Karaoke video, and then examine the many things that COVID changed or took away in their lives. Stories about laundry, hunting, having husbands around 24/7, and travel are shared, as is the story of Suzanne’s Nordstrom experience. They also discuss thigh gaps, back fat, the moment COVID became ‘real’ for them both, and the impact it has on Christmas for Suzanne’s mother. They finish up with a look at COVID masks and Robb’s beard. This glimpse into the lives of these two great storytellers during this unprecedented time is likely to resonate with all listeners, and is absolutely guaranteed to entertain.Episode Highlights:
- The Uber Karaoke video
- Some of the things that COVID has taken away this year
- The story of Suzanne’s Nordstrom dress
- Thigh gaps and back fat
- Laundry, hunting, living with husbands 24/7, travel stories
- The moments COVID became ‘real’ for Suzanne and Michelle
- Christmas for Suzanne’s mother
- COVID and masks
- Robb’s beard
Quotes:
“My kids were pissed, pissed, pissed!”“My diet has gone to crap.”“I haven’t had that thigh gap since I was about 32 – I mean that disappeared a long time ago.”“Underwear is different.”“Did you warn your neighbors?”“How did I get to this place in my life?”“That was the most terrifying moment of my life up until then with my children – waiting for my house to explode.”“I was thankful I still had my health. My family still had their health, and that was what was more important.”“I went into panic mode.”“We were dying!”“I wasn’t real fond of Canada for several weeks.”“It’s amazing how quickly the abnormal becomes normal.”“I walk around sometimes with elf ears.”“He looked like a skinny Santa Claus.”Links:
Homepage: Orange Juice OptionalGoodnight Sweet Bear: Goodnight Sweet BearWhy Hello! Modern Home: Why Hello! Modern HomeWhy Hello! Modern Home FacebookWhy Hello! Modern Home InstagramA Milne Shares: A Milne SharesTo share comments & podcast ideas please email: OJO Email52 min - Freshman Year Blues
While 2020 has presented everyone throughout the world with a whole lot of ‘first times’, Michelle and Suzanne recognize that life is full of these firsts and that’s what they’re here to discuss today. Dubbing these experiences as ‘freshman years’, they take a fun and entertaining look at the ‘first times’ they have encountered in their own lives over the years by sharing more of the lighthearted and immensely relatable stories we’ve come to expect from these two great friends.
During their conversation, they share freshman year tales about parenthood, the pandemic, semi-retirement and spending 24/7 with their husbands, new jobs, and children starting at new schools. Along the way, they also share the discoveries that can be made during freshman years and the top three things about their husbands that irritate them. They conclude the episode with an invitation for listeners to send in their own stories to OJO Email (instead of the address mentioned in the show) about their most memorable gifts, which may actually end up in a future episode. Life has truly offered these two ladies some interesting firsts, and, as usual, they have spun these experiences into laugh filled stories for us all to enjoy here today.Episode Highlights:· Freshman year of parenthood stories· ‘Fucking First Times’ such as the pandemic· The discoveries made during freshman years· Michelle and Suzanne’s freshman year as podcasters· Suzanne’s freshman year of semi-retirement· The top three irritating things about their husbands· Freshman year in a new job experiences· First child going to school or college stories· An invitation for listeners to submit stories about their memorable giftsQuotes:“It went in a whole lot easier than it’s going to come out.”“It’s kind of weird that it was her dad who told her that.”“I don’t know what to do with this thing!”“I’m, like, sharing way too much today.”“Even our leaders don’t know what to do.”“We both have our issues that we have to deal with.”“Bless his heart, he’s driving me crazy!”“Put the damn soap away!”“This is a 62 year old man…who listens to Justin Bieber day and night.”“We had to earn back our things that were in the garbage bag.”“It was definitely that year of growth.”“We all start somewhere…it happens with everything.”“It came out as some weird animal noise.”“Put on a big smile, say ‘Happy holidays’, and live your best life.”Links:Homepage: Orange Juice OptionalGoodnight Sweet Bear: Goodnight Sweet BearWhy Hello! Modern Home: Why Hello! Modern HomeWhy Hello! Modern Home FacebookWhy Hello! Modern Home InstagramA Milne Shares: A Milne SharesTo share comments & podcast ideas please email: OJO Email45 min - Thanksgiving – The Good and the Bad (But Mostly the Good)
With the approaching holidays, Michelle and Suzanne are devoting this second episode of the podcast to all things Thanksgiving. As all rich conversations do, theirs tends to veer off into fascinating asides, but they always find their way back to the main topic of Thanksgiving and all that goes along with it, especially champagne and vodka.
In addition to describing what their Thanksgiving holidays usually entail, including traditions and some memorable stories, our hosts also share details about their grocery shopping practices, Suzanne’s pantry, the love of her life, and a glimpse of what life is like in Alaska. Shopping, Black Friday, and even a little bit of Christmas decorating are all explored as well. Prominent throughout the episode is their discussion of those aspects of life, unique to each of them, for which they are thankful – and there are a lot. Once again this week, you are invited to laugh along as you recognize some aspects of your own self in the entertaining stories and insightful observations of these two great friends.Episode Highlights:· What Thanksgiving is like for Michelle and Suzanne· The Thanksgiving meal and traditions· Grocery shopping preferences and practices· Robb’s deep fried turkey experience· Thanksgiving traditions· Michelle and Suzanne’s memorable family experiences· Suzanne’s pantry· What Michelle and Suzanne are thankful for· Shopping and Black Friday· Decorating for Christmas· Alaskan sunshine and temperaturesQuotes:“We used to go to Hawaii every year for Thanksgiving.”“Part of being a Pastor’s kid is you have to go to every potluck the church ever has…I hate potluck.”“I buy the groceries, they cook the groceries.”“I have trouble when a room is quiet.”“Nobody was hurt in the making of our turkey, but our driveway was scarred.”“It was a shitshow.”“We always plan our…Thanksgiving dinner around when the Dallas Cowboys are playing football.”“There’s always one family that dominates the conversation at the table.”“We don’t want everyone to hate us already!”“It’s not something they taught you in Sunday School.”“Amazon at our house should have its own line item in the budget.”“I like to touch and feel.”“I now do trees in every room of my house.”“I will never, ever take it for granted when I open my eyes and the sun is shining.”“It’s like The Wizard of Oz.”“We would actually…have to duct tape our faces.”“We’re not going political here.”“Happy Thanksgiving everybody. Enjoy your friends and families.”Links:Homepage: Orange Juice OptionalGoodnight Sweet Bear: Goodnight Sweet BearWhy Hello! Modern Home: Why Hello! Modern HomeA Milne Shares: A Milne SharesTo share comments & podcast ideas please email: Email OJO47 min - Welcome to the ‘Orange Juice Optional’ Podcast!
Michelle and Suzanne would like to extend a very warm welcome to everyone out there as they launch their ‘Orange Juice Optional’ podcast today. As you will hear, these two close friends celebrate both the crazy and serious sides of everyday life, and they are here to share the 100 years of experiences and stories they have between them. Naturally, you are all invited to join them for this adventure, so get ready to revel in the relatable, funny, and, best of all, true stories from these two highly entertaining empty nesters.
Today, Michelle and Suzanne take a moment to introduce themselves (and their challenges with technology), recount how they met, and describe the purpose behind their newest adventure, this podcast. They also share 5 ‘nitty gritty’ facts about each other, and conclude this introductory episode by relating some of the most awkward introductions they’ve experienced in their lives. Woven throughout is the easy conversation, sincere warmth, and joyful humor that only two great friends can share, and while you definitely learn about our two hosts in this podcast, you will also undoubtedly come to see yourself in some of their engaging stories and wise observations. Once again, welcome to the ‘Orange Juice Optional’ podcast. It’s time to pop that cork and pour that glass of champagne – this party is just getting started!Episode Highlights:· Suzanne, Michelle and their new adventure· How they met· The purpose of the podcast· 5 ‘nitty gritty’ facts about Suzanne and Michelle· Awkward introductionsQuotes:“I’m a little old school and I’m proud of that. I’m going to own it.”“We have so many things that everyone relates to and we turn it into humor to make ourselves feel better.”“COVID has really helped you out as far as hugging.”“Robb’s off the list, Zumba’s on the list.”“She’s a little bit of a ‘klepto’ when we are travelling.”“Housekeeping had stolen all of my stolen goods.”“I don’t like unpredictability…and I don’t want to get pooped on.”“You looked like a bull…good thing we were in Spain.”“I do know that chickens have bones, but I just don’t like it on the plate in front of me.”“What happens in Vegas, sometimes comes home on your body.”“In my defense, I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into when I booked the Turkish bath.”“COVID has stolen everything.”“I met her at a strip joint. I don’t know her parents.”“Thirty years later, I’m still remembering that awkward introduction.”“I did feel bad about it, but I won.”“I’ve evolved.”“We’re all in this together.”Links:Homepage: Orange Juice OptionalGoodnight Sweet Bear: Goodnight Sweet BearWhy Hello! Modern Home: Why Hello! Modern HomeA Milne Shares: A Milne SharesTo share comments & podcast ideas please email: Email OJO44 min - Trailer
Orange Juice Optional is a podcast that celebrates both the crazy and serious sides of everyday life. Through the eyes and comfort of a 15-year friendship, and with over 100 years of stories and experiences between them, co-hosts Suzanne and Michelle tackle the ups and downs of their unpredictable empty nest lives. Their stories are relatable, funny and the best part is, they are all absolutely true! While they thought life would get easier after the kids were grown, they’ve since adapted the motto that ‘we couldn’t make this up if we tried’.
Now, pop that cork, pour that glass of champagne, and celebrate along with us. Also, remember that no matter the time of day, Orange Juice is optional. This is a judgement free zone, because why would you dilute what is best in life.
2 min
About Orange Juice Optional
From the publisher's feed
Orange Juice Optional is a podcast that celebrates both the crazy and serious sides of everyday life. Through the eyes and comfort of a 15-year friendship, and with over 100 years of stories and experiences between them, co-hosts Suzanne and Michelle tackle the ups and downs of their unpredictable empty nest lives. Their stories are relatable, funny and the best part is, they are all absolutely true! While they thought life would get easier after the kids were grown, they’ve since adapted the motto that ‘we couldn’t make this up if we tried’.
Now, pop that cork, pour that glass of champagne, and celebrate along with us. Also, remember that no matter the time of day, Orange Juice is optional. This is a judgement free zone, because why would you dilute what is best in life.