Our Patients Are Having Sex

What if women's desire wasn't driven by hormones alone, but by the brain itself?

In this episode of Our Patients Are Having Sex, I am joined by neuroscientist, science communicator and author of The Women's Brain Book, Dr Sarah McKay, to explore the biology behind arousal, attraction and the science of connection.

We unpack:

• The neuroscience of desire, how the brain, not just hormones, shapes attraction and arousal
• Why social connection is essential for women's mental and sexual well-being
• What happens to libido through perimenopause & menopause
• Why the placebo effect in hormone studies tells us how powerful the mind really is
• The research gaps in female sexuality and why they matter for clinicians and couples

If you're a therapist, clinician, or simply curious human, this conversation bridges brain science and intimacy, offering a de-shaming, insightful look at how women's desire truly works. Connect with us: Follow Isiah McKimmie on Instagram @isiahmckimmie Follow Our Patients Are Having Sex @ourpatientsarehavingsex for clips and behind-the-scenes conversations. Learn more about Dr Sarah McKay's work at www.drsarahmckay.com and on Instagram @drsarahmckay

What if becoming parents isn't a smooth transition, but a crash landing that reshapes everything?

In this episode of Our Patients Are Having Sex, I'm joined by Elly Taylor, an Australian relationship counsellor, author, and creator of the Becoming Us model—a groundbreaking approach to helping couples stay connected through the transition to parenthood.

We talk about why 92% of couples report more conflict after having a baby, and how emotional, relational, and identity shifts can impact intimacy and mental health. Elly shares why disconnection after baby is normal, what helps couples repair and reconnect, and how early support can make all the difference. Together we explore:

Why the transition to parenthood can feel like a "crash landing"

The emotional and identity changes both parents experience

Why is the relationship the foundation of the family

The importance of communication, compassion, and support

How professionals can "plant seeds" for relationship conversations

The real story behind sex and intimacy after a baby

It's a grounding, insightful conversation that reminds us - when couples take care of themselves and each other, their whole family benefits.

💬 Learn more about my work at www.isiah-mckimmie.com 💬 Learn more about Elly Taylor's work at www.ellytaylor.com or connect on Instagram @isiahmckimmie.sexologist @ellytaylorauthor @ourpatientsarehavingsex

What if pelvic pain or sexual discomfort isn't just about your muscles?

In this episode of Our Patients Are Having Sex, I'm joined by Liz Johnson, a Pelvic Health and Musculoskeletal Physiotherapist who takes a holistic, client-centred approach to care.

We talk about why pelvic health is about balance, not just strength — and how pain, tension, and pleasure are influenced by far more than the body alone. Liz shares how our nervous system, emotions, and sense of safety all play a role, and why communication and compassion are key in both therapy and relationships. Together we explore:

• Why pelvic pain is not just in your head
• The limits of "just do your Kegels" advice
• How stress and the nervous system influence sexual wellbeing
• The link between pelvic floor tension and emotional safety
• How open communication supports healing and connection

It's an open, educational conversation that reminds us healing happens when we look at the whole person — body, mind, and connection. 💬 Learn more about my work at www.isiah-mckimmie.com or connect on Instagram @isiahmckimmie.sexologist

In this episode, I'm joined by Dr Moira Bradfield Strydom - Naturopath, educator and founder of Intimate Ecology - for a fascinating and important conversation about the vaginal microbiome and its role in sexual health.

We cover how the microbiomes of the body interact, how stress and the nervous system influence desire and well-being, and the changes that occur through menopause. We also talk about the emotional impacts of recurrent infections, the importance of partner communication, and why holistic, collaborative care matters in supporting women's sexual health.

We explore: • The interconnected world of microbiomes • The impact of stress and the nervous system on desire • Menopause and changes to the vaginal microbiome • Partner communication and emotional well-being • Holistic approaches to sexual health and empowerment

💬 Learn more about my work at isiah-mckimmie.com or connect on Instagram @isiahmckimmie.sexologist

What do football and s*x have in common? More than you'd think. In this episode of Our Patients Are Having Sex, Isiah is joined by Roger ("Rog") Butler—a sexuality educator trained in Process-Oriented Psychology—to unpack kink, BDSM, fetishes and the slippery idea of "normal."

Rog offers a simple reframe clinicians can use immediately: if a client spends time, money and energy on football, we call it passion; if they do the same with s*x, we often call it a problem. He invites us to apply a quick "football test" to our bias and ask: Is anyone being harmed? and Can they dial it back if needed?

We cover:

• What "kink," "BDSM," and "fetish" actually mean (and why "normal" is contextual)

• Consent, safety, language and how to be curious without shaming

• When you don't need to be a sex expert—and how to make a non-judgmental referral

• A simple 2–3 minute game that reduces pressure and helps couples rediscover touch

• Why addressing the "no" (barriers, brakes, shame) often unlocks the "yes" (desire, play, connection)

If you're a therapist, GP, nurse, physio, or anyone who supports humans, this conversation is practical, de-shaming and—yes—fun.

What happens when your gender expression doesn't match what the world expects of you? And what does that mean for your relationships and sexuality?

In this episode of Our Patients Are Having Sex, I'm joined by my friend and teaching partner, Rudi Landmann - a trans woman, parent, autistic person and sexuality educator.

Rudi shares her journey of self-discovery and the challenges of finding language for identity, while offering insights into how trans and neurodiverse people experience sex and intimacy. We talk about the importance of curiosity, honesty and compassion - in clinical practice and in our personal lives.

It's an open, thoughtful conversation that will leave you rethinking assumptions and expanding how you approach gender, sexuality and life.

Most of us weren't taught how to talk about sex — not in our training, not in our workplaces, and often not even in our own lives. Yet sex is one of the biggest issues couples struggle with, and one of the hardest topics for healthcare and therapy professionals to raise.

In this first episode of Our Patients Are Having Sex, Couples Therapist and Sexologist Isiah McKimmie shares why avoiding these conversations comes at such a cost — and what changes when we begin to have them.

You'll hear:

• Why so many professionals avoid talking about sex, and what the research says about it

• The impact silence has on clients, patients, and their relationships

• The benefits of healthy, connected relationships (and why sex matters for wellbeing)

• Isiah's personal journey from "shy country girl" to therapist and sexologist

• What to expect from future episodes of Our Patients Are Having Sex

Because the truth is, people everywhere are having sex… or they're struggling with it. And it's time we started talking about it.