Our TFMR Stories | Our decisions, our grief, real true parent stories

Morgan Meaut shares her story of needing to terminate her wanted pregnancy for a rare genetic condition: 8p inverted duplication deletion syndrome, on the 23rd chromosome. Needing to make this decision for her baby girl Collins was one of the worst things she has ever been through.

At the 20-week anatomy scan Morgan and her husband received the devastating news. The ultrasound showed severe swelling, ventriculomegaly and single cord. A follow up MRI of the brain showed missing corpus collosum in Collins’ brain

This devastating diagnosis in pregnancy sent the couple on a four-week journey meeting with MFMs, genetic counselors, pediatric cardiologists, neurologists, and other specialists. Ultimately, through a genetic microarray they learned that Collins was worst case scenario. She had an extremely rare genetic condition: 8p inverted & duplication & deletion all on the 23rd chromosome. A very rare and large triple condition.

Morgan was told that if Collins survived birth and infancy, she would be profoundly disabled — likely nonverbal, unable to live independently, and requiring lifelong full-time care.

Morgan knew that was not the life they wanted for their baby.

She was living in the state of Georgia at the time of her TFMR and had to pass a state board to approve the abortion.

This is part 1 of 2 of Morgan's story where she shares how they made their decision to end their much wanted pregnancy.

Morgan's Instagram: www.instagram.com/morgan_love_11

Morgan's email: [email protected]

....

To meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat and find * your * way through with groups/1on1: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call

And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:

THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY

‌

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

‌

The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

‌

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful

💜 Month-to-month, as you need support

🌸 $55/month

‌

Join us: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/join

‌

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.

PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

‌

Application only, free membership:

⁠http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

‌

🎙 Want to share your story?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

‌

Music credit:

"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search

)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Morgan continues sharing her story (part 2 of 2) of life and grief and healing after a termination for medical reasons for a rare genetic disorder in her baby girl Collins.

…

Morgan shares how this podcast and the community has helped immensely throughout her grief and TFMR journey over the months since her loss.

Living in Atlanta, Georgia, Morgan faced steep legal difficulties to obtain a termination at nearly 24 weeks gestation. Ultimately, the state of Georgia approved her case, and she underwent a termination at 23 weeks and 6 days at an abortion clinic. It was the worst day of her life.

Since the death of her daughter, Morgan has been on a journey of learning how to survive unimaginable grief while still showing up as a mother to her living child, and also learning how to continue being a mother to Collins — honoring her, loving her, and carrying her, even though she is no longer earthside.

Resources mentioned:

Self-care guide: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/tfmr-self-care.html

Morgan's Instagram: www.instagram.com/morgan_love_11

Morgan's email: [email protected]

To meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat and find * your * way through with groups/1on1: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call

And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:

THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY

‌

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

‌

The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

‌

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful

💜 Month-to-month, as you need support

🌸 $55/month

‌

Join us: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/join

‌

...

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.

PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

‌

Application only, free membership:

⁠http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

‌

...

🎙 Want to share your story?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

‌

...

Music credit:

"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search

)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

After 3 miscarriages, Jayme found out she was pregnant with twins. They were overjoyed, but then around 17 weeks a poor prenatal diagnosis was found in one baby, and eventually an even worse condition TTTS (twin to twin transfusion syndrome) was found and one baby was actively dying 💔 The only way to save the other baby was to intervene with a termination, also called "selective reduction." The delivery of the babies ended up in complications that no one saw coming.

Jayme also shares how the grief and trauma affected her postpartum period. She found it very hard to find grief spaces that could hold ALL her losses and all the details of the termination intervention.

Her next pregnancy also ended in tragedy, with a surgical intervention for an ectopic.

This is part 1 of 2 with Jayme Serbell

Jayme loves connecting and wants to share her Instagram page with you, so reach out to her there:

www.instagram.com/jaymesharesthings

She recently shared her story in Vogue magazine: https://www.vogue.com/article/the-abortion-that-made-me-a-parent

...

To meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat and find * your * way through with groups/1on1: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call

And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:

THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY

‌

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

‌

The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

‌

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful

💜 Month-to-month, as you need support

🌸 $55/month

‌

Join us: ⁠www.theTFMRdoula.com/join⁠

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.

PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

‌

Application only, free membership:

⁠http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

‌

🎙 Want to share your story?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

‌

Music credit:

"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search

)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Jayme shares about life after TFMR, after miscarriages, after ectopic loss.

Jayme shares her two biggest anchors that have helped her healing and grief after ending a wanted pregnancy (selective reduction) and all her reproductive losses. The unhelpful things that people say DO NOT help "at least you know you can get pregnant" ...and Jayme shares what does, her meditation practices, writing, advocacy, a storytelling. If you've been wondering "how will I get through the grief? How can I get through this?" this episode is for you.

Jayme loves connecting and wants to share her Instagram page with you, so reach out to her there:

www.instagram.com/jaymesharesthings

She recently shared her story in Vogue magazine: https://www.vogue.com/article/the-abortion-that-made-me-a-parent

...

To meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat and find * your * way through with groups/1on1: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call

And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:

THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY

‌

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

‌

The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

‌

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful

💜 Month-to-month, as you need support

🌸 $55/month

‌

Join us: ⁠www.theTFMRdoula.com/join⁠

‌

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.

PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

‌

Application only, free membership:

⁠http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

‌

🎙 Want to share your story?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

‌

Music credit:

"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search

)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Sabrina talks about regret after ending a wanted pregnancy and how it rarely looks the way people expect. Sometimes it's not regret over the decision to interrupt the pregnancy, but over the “smaller” (still huge) pieces around it... not taking enough pictures, not holding your baby long enough, declining genetic testing in a moment you weren't in the right headspace for. Sometimes the regret is about how you were treated during your termination for medical reasons... coerced, under-informed, never told what a labor and delivery induction would actually feel like, or that a funeral was even an option. And sometimes it's that tight, familiar pit in your stomach: what if my baby’s condition had changed, was the diagnosis severe enough to choose TFMR, could I have handled a "good enough" outcome after all.

If you've been Googling “how to cope with regret after TFMR” or "is it normal to regret my TFMR”, or you swing back and forth between peace and guilt sometimes in the same breath, you're not broken and you didn't make the wrong call. Sabrina gets into why TFMR grief and regret get weaponized against parents online, why gray diagnoses and "good enough" outcomes can torture us just as much as a fatal one, and the reframe that's helped her most in her own healing... that regret, underneath all of it, IS love and comes from love.

And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:

THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY

‌

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

‌

The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

‌

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful

💜 Month-to-month, as you need support

🌸 $55/month

‌

Join us: ⁠www.theTFMRdoula.com/join⁠

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.

PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes just like this one and a chance to ask questions live or have your comment/story be part of an episode. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. Witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. Share your story in our CLOSED group, and hear how others like you are getting through.

Application only, free membership:

⁠http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

‌

🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:

"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search )

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Sabrina shares the unfortunate comments she and others in the community have heard about TFMR: "But how old were you when it happened?" "Well that's not reeeeally an abortion." "I would never..."

Comments like these can actually feel MORE harmful that direct insults to TFMR/baby loss/abortion. Because other people around, or group leaders, or fellow general grievers might not "get" how painful these subtle things feel to TFMR parents. So we're talking about it!

SMALL GROUP TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE

If you are looking for care and love and tools for the shame, guilt, longing & grief after TFMR, you are invited to join us. Our upcoming grief circles are open July 8th & July 12th start dates: small group in Ascend http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply

To meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat and find * your * way through with groups/1on1: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call

‌

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.

PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

‌

Application only, free membership:

⁠http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

‌

🎙 Want to share your story?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

‌

Music credit:

"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search )

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

How we decided - TFMR for T21 & grey diagnosis. Bianca Johnson shares her baby boy's down syndrome diagnosis and all the other pregnancy complications that came into play on her decision and more. Sabrina also shares lots of stories from other TFMR parents who also had a T21 diagnosis and how they decided to end their wanted pregnancies too.

Bianca Johnson had already been through 6 pregnancy losses when she found herself in the impossible space of a T21 down syndrome diagnosis. What guided her decision to terminate wasn't just the medical appointments, CVS test results, or the terrifying words from a maternal-fetal medicine specialist who listed every way this pregnancy could kill her. It was a dream she'd had weeks before... a child standing at a crossroads, refusing to cross, saying simply: this is as far as I go.

When the T21 diagnosis finally came, Bianca already knew. The baby had told her.

In this Part 1 of 2, Bianca, empowerment coach and author of All of These Lines, shares the raw, layered story of how she and her husband decided to have an abortion in their T21 pregnancy in South Africa. If you're in the middle of a gray diagnosis and wondering how anyone ever makes this decision... this episode is for you.

You can find Part 2 of 2: "Life after TFMR for T21 & grey diagnosis" on Bianca's pregnancy loss and healing YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePOCM0HZPVQ so follow over there too 💜 https://www.youtube.com/@i.am.biancajohnson

And to get Bianca's book "All of These Lines" here:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/all-of-these-lines-my-story-of-pregnancy-loss-and-hope-bianca-johnson/eb6882e3d9dda91f?ean=9781049206943&next=t

https://www.amazon.com/All-These-Lines-Story-Pregnancy-ebook/dp/B0FTCWPRQZ/

And if you are ready for more holding, our small group Ascend TFMR Grief Circle is starting in July 8th. Your story, T21, chromosomal defects, grey through fatal, medically necessary for your body or mental health, WELCOME with us. We want to light a candle for your baby https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.Application only, free membership:

http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:

"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search )

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Katie, a TFMR and multiple miscarriage mom and mom to two living kids shares her baby's story. Her daughter had a constellation of brain abnormalities - absent corpus callosum, fluid in the brain, and a small cerebellum - discovered at the 20 week scan.

Katie knew something was off before the doctor had even spoke. At this 20-week anatomy scan, Katie caught a measurement on the screen that said 16 weeks... and then the doctor delivered the devastating news that her daughter’s brain abnormalities would mean congenital blindness and severe mobility disabilities.

Because of abortion restrictions in Florida, Katie had to figure out how to leave the state to say goodbye to her daughter the way she chose.

Katie shares her story just 2.5 weeks out - raw, clear, and utterly without shame. She talks about navigating a gray diagnosis with no guarantees, flying to Virginia for her D&E while visibly pregnant, telling her living children the truth, and what it means to stand behind a decision that the world keeps trying to make complicated. For Katie the decision was clear, this is how she decided to end her wanted pregnancy.

Katie received help with funding for travel through The Brigid Alliance: https://brigidalliance.org/

MORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT:

If you are looking for care and love and tools for the shame, guilt, longing & grief after TFMR, you are invited to join us. Our upcoming grief circles are open: small group in Ascend http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply We start in July 2026

To meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat and find * your * way through with groups/1on1: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.

PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. Application only, free membership:

http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

‌

🎙 Want to share your story?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

‌

Music credit:

"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search )

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

If you are questioning whether your story fits in our grief circles, whether your diagnosis was "severe enough," or whether you'll connect with other parents who made this impossible choice, listen in 💜

The truth is, if you're asking these questions, you *do* belong here.

The parents who join our Ascend TFMR grief circles share something profound - we're all parents who chose to end suffering, even when the world doesn't understand our "choice." You followed your heart and survival through the most impossible decision love has ever asked of you.

Beyond that sacred shared experience, the parents who thrive in our circles tend to be busy but appreciate structure, they are naturally resilient (even when they don't feel it), and deeply kind - both to others and, we hope, eventually to yourselves.

Whether you have living children or are trying to conceive again, whether your diagnosis was chromosomal or structural, for you or baby, whether you're weeks or years out from your loss - your story matters here. You matter here. I want to hear from you, I want to hear your story. Connect with me here: www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call or click down below to see more of the upcoming group info.

TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:

If you're longing for intimate, ongoing group support, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle

💜 Small, intimate groups of 5–6 people, we stay together for 3 months

💬 Real conversations, healing practices, and community support

🌿 Wed. 7pm Eastern time round begins July 8th, Sun. Noon Eastern time round begins July 12th

👉 Info & joining us: http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.Application only, free membership:

http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:

"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search )

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Shaming comments after TFMR - how to deal & who's shame IS it anyways?? If you've ever seen a cruel comment about TFMR and felt it land somewhere deep... this episode is for you.

Sabrina goes there - straight into the shame that gets hurled at TFMR parents by strangers, by religion, by society - and how she refuses to let it stick AND how she helps other termination after devastating diagnosis parents & her clients do the same. She walks you through her three levels of dealing with the shaming comments: from the outer noise of a world that doesn't understand abortion baby loss, to the sneaky, hard-to-name inner feeling of shame itself, to the most sacred level - your direct relationship with your baby.

Your baby is not a shame. Your TFMR is not a shame. By the end of this episode, you too will feel why that shame was never yours to carry in the first place.

For care and love and tools for the shame, guilt, longing & grief after TFMR, you are invited to join us. Our upcoming grief circles are open: small group in Ascend http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply

To meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat and find * your * way through with groups/1on1: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call

...

And on ongoing support space, just for TFMR parents:

THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY

‌

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

‌

The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

‌

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day

‌

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful

‌

💜 Month-to-month, as you need support

‌

🌸 $55/month

‌

Join us: ⁠www.theTFMRdoula.com/join⁠

‌

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.

PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes (like this one, recorded live in the group) and a chance to ask questions and share your story with us. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle.

‌

Application only, free membership:

⁠http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

‌

🎙 Want to share your story?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

‌

Music credit:

"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search )

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/