Our TFMR Stories | Our decisions, our grief, real true parent stories

If you are asking yourself "how do I survive this?" - this episode is for you.

Sabrina speaks directly to this question she hears often... from parents facing a devastating prenatal diagnosis, from parents mid-decision, and from parents on the other side of TFMR baby loss looking to make it through. She gives you permission to throw out the "moving on" narrative entirely, and shares her S.E.E.N. framework - the four things she's guided other TFMR parents through to help them carry their grief and keep going.

You don't move on from your baby. You move with them. And there IS a way through.

To meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat and find * your * way through with groups/1on1: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call

...

And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:

THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY

‌

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

‌

The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

‌

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day

‌

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful

‌

💜 Month-to-month, as you need support

‌

🌸 $55/month

‌

Join us: ⁠www.theTFMRdoula.com/join⁠

‌

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.

PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

‌

Application only, free membership:

⁠http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

‌

🎙 Want to share your story?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

‌

Music credit:

"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search )

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Your TFMR story is sacred - the words you share in grief circles, the journals, the downloads you've trusted with your healing, your baby's story... they MUST be handled with care. If you've been looking for TFMR support that actually protects you, this episode is for you.

Sabrina (that's me, The TFMR Doula) takes you behind the scenes on her ongoing process of moving away from big tech - Google, Meta, and the companies whose AI is quietly reading, scraping, and training on everything we put into their clouds - to build something safer for all of us. Safer for you, safer for your baby.

This isn't just about encrypted video calls or coded forums (although yes, she built the forum herself from scratch, and yes, that's pretty f-ing cool). It's about what becomes possible when TFMR parents finally feel safe... how your healing actually happens, when humans connect heart to human heart, not filtered through a platform that doesn't care about us at all. This is TFMR grief support the way it was always meant to be - private, sovereign, and completely yours.

Some recommendations from the episode so you too can keep your TFMR story safe: Firefox browser, Proton mail, Signal messaging app

To meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat and find your exhale and safety within our groups/1on1: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call

...

And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:

THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY

‌

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

‌

The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

‌

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day

‌

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful

‌

💜 Month-to-month, as you need support

‌

🌸 $55/month

‌

Join us: ⁠www.theTFMRdoula.com/join⁠

‌

...

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.

PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes (like this episode here, previously recorded LIVE in the group) and ask your questions and share YOUR story.

Application only, free membership:

⁠http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

‌

🎙 Want to share your story?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

‌

Music credit:

"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search )

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Unfortunately TFMR baby loss, ending a wanted pregnancy, abortion for medical reasons is still very misunderstood. In this episode we talk about how this may be showing up in your relationships, your emotions, and how you communicate about your baby loss.

You'll also hear some gentle inspiration for the hardest days from Sabrina, who has also been through TFMR, for hydrops & cystic hygroma, and how she found and facilitates understanding spaces for you. In the hardest most impossible parenting, this is the place for you 💜

To meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat: www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call

...
And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:
THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY
‌
If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.
‌
The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.
‌
💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day
‌
💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful
‌
💜 Month-to-month, no long commitment
‌
🌸 $55/month
‌
Join us: ⁠www.theTFMRdoula.com/join⁠
‌
FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:
Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.
PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.
‌
Application only, free membership:
⁠http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup
‌
🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com
‌
Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License
https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search

If you've asked yourself "am I a monster for choosing this?" this episode is for you.

Sabrina speaks directly to the thought that haunts so many TFMR parents... before, during, and long after the procedure is over. She speaks to *why* that "monster" thought creeps in once the medical crisis has passed, why both paths can feel monstrous, and why the fact that you're asking the question at all is proof that you're not one.

This is fierce parenting. This is a mama on fire. And you are not a monster.

‌

JOIN US IN THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

The **TFMR Support Sanctuary** is a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby. Finding ways to live their lives again, TTC again, parent and be in relationships - all while honoring the baby that has died.

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby/pregnancy lost to TFMR

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, REPLAYS always available if you can't make it live

💜 Month-to-month, no long commitment

🌸 $55/month

Join us: http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/join

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

Application only, free membership:

http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:

Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod

Creative Commons License [https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=usuan1300036](https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=usuan1300036 "smartCard-inline")

Today we are talking with Alexia Leachman and her call to classify tokophobia and MANY other reproductive experiences (like the trauma and anxiety that comes from baby loss) under what she calls “Reproductive Anxiety Disorder.” If your anxiety after TFMR has been brushed off as "yeah a lot of folks feel that" but you KNOW there is more to your story, listen in.

Alexia Leachman is the author of Fearless Birthing, founder of Head Trash. The Head Trash book and website and method helped her clear her tokophobia - which is the visceral, unexplainable reaction or fear of pregnancy and birth.

Her links for more info:
https://tik-tokophobia.com/podcast/

https://fearless-birthing.com/white-paper/

Tokophobia = extreme fear of birth

RAD = Reproductive Anxiety Disorder

...
And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:

THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY
‌
If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.
‌
The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.
‌
💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day
‌
💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful
‌
💜 Month-to-month, no long commitment
‌
🌸 $55/month
‌
Join us: ⁠www.theTFMRdoula.com/join⁠
‌

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:
Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.
PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.
‌
Application only, free membership:
⁠http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup
‌
🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com
‌
Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License
https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search

The “what ifs” after TFMR baby loss can knock you over with their intensity and AMOUNT. After abortion for medical reasons pregnancy loss, you may look back and wish you could have changed the date, the timing, the type of procedure, your habits, your diet - ‘What if’ this or that would have made a difference or led to a different outcome?

In this episode we talk about where the ‘what ifs’ may be showing up, how it feels when these thoughts get loud, and what is under these thoughts. And gentle ways to hold and care for the ‘what ifs.’

JOIN US IN THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

The TFMR Support Sanctuary is now open: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby. Finding ways to live their lives again, TTC again, parent and be in relationships - all while honoring the baby that has died.

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby/pregnancy lost to TFMR

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, REPLAYS always available if you can't make it live

💜 Month-to-month, no long commitment

🌸 Grand opening price: $45/month (going up to $55 on May 11th)

Join us: http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/join

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search

Sabrina & Kate wrap up part 3 of 3 of "What Your Grief Actually Needs after TFMR" series and share the key 5 ways to work with and hold your grief gently and survive the horror of TFMR baby loss - these are real, doable, repeatable and helpful things you can do today. We practice these skills deeply and TOGETHER in the TFMR Support Sanctuary if you want to join us live. Through May 11th we have an opening price of $45/monthly and you are invited 💜

You were never meant to do this alone, and we survive this together, helping each other in the heartbreak of abortion of wanted babies.

JOIN US IN THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

The TFMR Support Sanctuary is now open: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby/pregnancy lost to TFMR

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, REPLAYS always available if you can't make it live

💜 Month-to-month, no long commitment

🌸 Grand opening price: $45/month (going up to $55 on May 11th)

Join us: www.theTFMRdoula.com/join

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search

‌Sabrina (Fletcher) and Kate (Carson) are back, sharing more about what your grief after TFMR *actually* needs. We're going all the way over to what you DON'T need in your grief after abortion baby loss. If these things have NOT felt like a help to you in your grief, you are not alone, and you are not crazy.

And tune back in to part 3 of 3 next time to hear how we have helped ourselves and our clients not only survive, but LIVE after TFMR, simple and doable.

And in this episode we invite you to check out this space, just for you:

THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

The **TFMR Support Sanctuary** is now open: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, starting April 2nd

💜 Month-to-month, no long commitment

🌸 Grand opening price: $45/month (going up to $55 on May 1st)

Join us: www.theTFMRdoula.com/join

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

Application only, free membership:

http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:

Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod

Creative Commons License

https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search

‌In Part 1 of 3 of 'What grief after TFMR *actually* needs,' Sabrina Fletcher brings in Kate Carson. These two TFMR grief experts talk about when therapy isn't enough and why you may be feeling this way. We are talking about when therapy models helps and when therapy models falls short (by no fault of the therapist) and when other supplemental grief spaces are needed.

This is part 1 of 3 of this series so tune back in over the next few days for more on this topic.

IN THIS EPISODE WE ALSO SHARE A SPECIAL INVITATION FOR YOU TO JOIN US IN THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

The **TFMR Support Sanctuary** is now open: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, starting April 2nd

💜 Month-to-month, no long commitment

🌸 Grand opening price: $45/month (going up to $55 on May 1st)

Join us: www.theTFMRdoula.com/join

OTHER SUPPORT ---> FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

Application only, free membership:

http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?

Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:

Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod

Creative Commons License

https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search

In Part 2 of Becky's story, we pick up after her termination for T21 (Down Syndrome, Trisomy 21) and what life has looked like in the two and a half months since.

Becky talks about how she found the TFMR community... and how even then, she felt alone in her specific diagnosis. She shares what it was like to post her story in a mommy group and have 11 people private message her saying "me too, but don't tell anyone."

Becky talks about what nobody told her about the D&E procedure itself, that it was a two-day process. She talks about grieving loudly while her husband grieved quietly, and the moment she realized he was carrying the pain too, just differently.

Becky closes with words for anyone right now in the thick of a Trisomy 21 diagnosis, deciding whether to end their pregnancy: you're going to be able to breathe again. The first breath will feel like a gasp. But somehow, time marches on.

Thank you, Becky. Your baby boy was here, real, and so fiercely loved. <3

GROUP SUPPORT IN TFMR GRIEF:

If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.

The TFMR Support Sanctuary is now open: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, starting April 2nd

💜 Month-to-month, no long commitment

🌸 Grand opening price: $45/month (going up to $55 on May 1st)

Join us: www.theTFMRdoula.com/join

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?
Contact Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: www.theTFMRdoula.com/podcast

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search