Rebecca Little and Colleen Long join us to discuss their powerful book "I'm Sorry for My Loss: An Urgent Examination of Reproductive Care in America." Rebecca and Colleen are two lifelong friends and both journalists who've experienced devastating pregnancy losses. This book is an investigation into why reproductive care in America is so broken; their findings are both heartbreaking and essential.

Rebecca experienced six pregnancies: 2 uneventful pregnancies of her oldest living kids followed by chemical pregnancy, missed miscarriage at 8 weeks, stillbirth in 2014 and TFMR of twins at 23 weeks for a fatal heart condition, followed by a life-threatening uterine rupture that nearly killed her. Colleen lost her first baby to stillbirth in 2012 and has two living kids. Together, they've created the book they wish they'd had: one that doesn't just offer comfort, but also asks the hard questions:

Why are we so bad at grief?

Why is our language so limited?

Why aren't we even researching women's reproductive health?

This conversation goes deep into the impossible navigation of TFMR grief when neither "pro-choice" nor "pro-life" language fits your experience. We explore how “the myth of control over pregnancy” leaves families isolated when things go wrong, and why having language that fits your loss can be life-changing.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

For more on their book, find Rebecca and Colleen here: https://www.alittlelong.com/

And on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/imsorryformylossbook/

Get the book here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/i-m-sorry-for-my-loss-undoing-our-cultural-ignorance-around-pregnancies-that-end-without-a-baby-rebecca-little/20974919 or here: https://www.amazon.com/Im-Sorry-Loss-Examination-Reproductive/dp/1728292786

MORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT RESOURCES:

www.thetfmrdoula.com/resources to see guides, meditations, courses and current group offerings

🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License
Links: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Christina's story is about the fierce love that guides us through impossible choices. When she received her baby Oliver's Trisomy 13 diagnosis, she didn't just face a medical decision. She faced a profound act of mothering that would challenge everything she thought she knew about love, protection, and what it means to care for your child.

Christina opens her heart about navigating a fatal fetal diagnosis as a first-time mom in Ontario, Canada. Her wisdom about values, language, and the misunderstood reality of TFMR will leave you feeling less alone and more grounded in your own truth.

If you've ever struggled with explaining your TFMR decision to others, or if you're searching for that centered knowing Christina has found so early in her grief, this episode is medicine for your heart. Thank you, Christina <3

MORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT RESOURCES:

www.thetfmrdoula.com/resources to see guides, meditations, courses and current group offerings

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

www.reddit.com/r/nipt for during the decision period www.reddit.com/r/tfmrsupport For anonymous grief support after TFMR

OTHER CLOSED TFMR GROUPS:

www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup TFMR Support Circle

www.endingawantedpregnancy.com Ending a Wanted Pregnancy

🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License
Links: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

…

#TFMR #Trisomy13 #Patausyndrome #babyloss #griefsupport

Have you ever shamed yourself for not being "further along" or "done" with the "stages of grief"? If so, this episode is for you.

Learn the TRUE history of the "5 Stages of Grief" and about a gentle, holistic, and humane alternative grief model - especially important for those of us who have lost a baby in such a tragic and heartbreaking way as abortion termination baby loss.

TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:
If you're longing for intimate, ongoing group support, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle
💜 Small, intimate groups of 5–6 people
💬 Honest conversation, healing practices, and community support
🌿 Next Wed. 7pm Eastern time round begins June 11th 2025
👉 Learn more & apply: www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

....

Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.

Application only, free membership:
www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License
Links: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Linda Rönn is a TFMR mom and author of “Behind Bulletproof Glass: My Story About Prenatal Testing and Abortion in the United States.”

Linda tells her story of the lack of care surrounding TFMR and how taboo the whole process was of going through her loss in the U.S. She also share her cross-cultural observations, comparing the Swedish approach to what happens in the U.S.A.

Connect with Linda on IG:https://www.instagram.com/_lindaronn/

Book available on Amazon and all major publishers:

Amazon.com

Bookshop.org

Goodreads.com

LOOKING FOR GROUP SUPPORT? JOIN OUR UPCOMING TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:
Next rounds of our TFMR Grief Circle program starting soon. Apply now to save your spot in our group grief support program (small intimate groups of 5 or 6 max)

If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group grief support, here’s the link to check out our upcoming grief circles : https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

….

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

If you feel like you are drowning in guilt, self-blame, and an endless loop of “what ifs" after making the heartbreaking decision to end a wanted pregnancy, this episode is for you.

Sabrina Fletcher, the TFMR -Termination For Medical Reasons- pregnancy loss doula, explores why these feelings show up and how they’re rooted in deep love, your desire to be a good parent, and your hunger for true community support.

If you're looking for support in the guilt, doubt and self-blame after TFMR (abortion of a wanted pregnancy after a poor prenatal diagnosis), this episode brings deep validation and real tools for healing.

You are also INVITED to join our TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:
If you're longing for intimate, ongoing group support, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle
💜 Small, intimate groups of 5–6 people
💬 Honest conversation, healing practices, and community support
🌿 Next round begins June 2025

👉 Learn more & apply: www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

This episode was recorded inside the closed, screened free Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. To get access to early releases of podcast episodes and the support community, apply here:
www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Creative Commons License
Listen here

On forgiveness and forgiving yourself after TFMR baby loss with Amy Watson. Amy is a certified Life Coach and also a mom who has walked through stillbirth, miscarriage and pregnancy after loss. You may know her from her podcast, Smooth Stones, Find Yourself After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Baby Loss.

Connect with Amy at:

Learn more at https://smoothstonescoaching.com

https://smoothstonescoaching.com/getsupport

instagram.com/smoothstonescoaching

LOOKING FOR TFMR SPECIFIC SUPPORT?:

Our TFMR Grief Circle program is now enrolling. Save your spot in our group grief support program (small intimate groups of 5 or 6 max)

If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group grief support, here’s the link to check out our upcoming grief circles: https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Lacey Castilleja Fisher, Licensed Professional Counselor, Play Therapist Perinatal Mental Health-Certification, talks about how sand tray therapy can help you through the trauma of TFMR baby loss. Lacey runs Open Heart Counseling of Austin, TX and we also talk about the state of perinatal mental health support in Texas.

Connect with Lacey at:
www.openheartcounselingatx.com
FB and IG: @‌openheartcounselingofaustin

Quote about creativity and letting it live outside your body from writer Iya Ehime Ora https://ehimeora.com/

ATTENTION PERINATAL MENTAL HEATLH PROVIDERS! Lacey has a new offering so you can start to learn how to use sand tray therapy with your clients too, check it out here: http://www.openheartcounselingatx.com/store/p2/sandtray-trauma-loss-PHMC.html

GROUP GRIEF SUPPORT: You are invited to Ascend, a TFMR Grief Circle program. This online group support is for you if you’re looking to learn to cope with grief, honor your baby and your deep love for them and come away with skills to heal the trauma that comes with the heartbreaking loss of ending a beloved pregnancy
​
All while finally feeling seen in a compassionate community of grieving parents just like you. http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/acend-apply to apply to join.

…

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

…

Communication ideas for romantic, heterosexual couples after/through baby loss. Laura Amador, a Laura Doyle certified relationship coach shares 3 insightful ways to take care of your grief and bring you closer to your partner.

You can find the guide "5 Steps to Reignite Connection in Your Marriage" that Laura Amador mentions in the episode here:
https://www.coachlauraamador.com/5steps/?ref=SABRINAFLETCHER (My affiliate link)

Another highly recommended resources:
The Empowered Wife, book by Laura Doylehttps://www.amazon.com/Empowered-Wife-Updated-Expanded-Surprising/dp/1637742266

....

TAMING TFMR TRIGGERS
www.thetfmrdoula.com/triggers

Having the first drink of beer or coffee after you lose your baby...

Trying to connect again with your partner through sggsy time...

Going on the pre-planned "baby moon", but without your bump...

Your clothes fitting differently, finding the baby clothes you bought with so much hope, even YOUR PARTNER not needing to change their clothes!!...

All of these things and more can be a trigger after TFMR (termination for medical reasons) pregnancy loss.

I went through it too after I lost my baby - there was even this one water glass that I always used to super hydrate in pregnancy. After my baby was gone that glass made me feel ill just looking at it. I wanted to smash it on the floor, run away from it and simultaneously enshrine it as a tiny memory with her - but it was wrapped in in SO MUCH PAIN.

The triggers come from the pain, this ache, this desire and longing for our baby, but pop up at the LEAST convenient time.

When you just want to drink a coffee and put on some pants in PEACE!!!

I found that talking about the triggers in therapy, writing about them, thinking about how I could fix them logically, did not help.

There's a direct line to the triggers, and it's in a place you can tap into -in the moment - to come back to your center too: the body.

After I learned how to do this, I was able to drink coffee again, see pregnant bellies, even go to the gynecologist, without panic attacks and falling down on the ground in a bundle of tears.

I'm going to show you how I do this in Taming TFMR Triggers, a workshop I am putting together for you and holding LIVE on Monday, February 10th.

Here's the link again to sign up
www.thetfmrdoula.com/triggers ($11 USD) live or catch the replay after Feb. 10th
‌

….

And if you would like to shareyour TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

And for more support follow atwww.instagram.com/thetfmrdoula

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link:https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License:http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

"I was searching for a community where I could talk to people without feeling judged. A safe space where I didn't have to explain myself." -Amanda, TFMR for rare genetic condition mom shares her story of her time in our Ascend TFMR Grief Circle program. Listen in to hear her TFMR story and how she moved from feeling blame and silenced to fully held and supported through talking part in our online small group support space.

SPONSORED BY THE TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM, ASCEND:

If you are a bereaved TFMR parent like Amanda looking for group grief support to heal the silence and stigma and loneliness of this often misunderstood baby loss, our upcoming grief circles start in December 2024 https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply <--- to apply

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

…

In this episode you’ll hear about 3 big hurtful myths/misconceptions about TFMR & how we can take healing into our own hands in the face of so much misunderstanding about our heartbreaking choices.

00:00-Intro

01:56-Myth 1, looking for a perfect pregnancy

04:59-Myth 2, taking the easy way out

14:24-Myth 3, it's just an abortion or it's not really an abortion

23:53-Invitation to the conference

You are also INVITED:

FREE INVITATION THE 1st EVER -- SURVIVE TO THRIVE AFTER TFMR PREGNANCY LOSS ONLINE CONFERENCE

You’re invited to the Survive and Thrive after TFMR virtual conference, a 3-day live event. Bringing together 15+ speakers: grief experts, therapists, bereavement doulas, authors and holistic healers, all sharing their wisdom and love on healing and coping with the grief of losing a wanted baby to TFMR.

November 13th through the 15th.
http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/conference to sign up for free

Each day we will release videos and talks, and replays will be available through Sunday November 17th.

This online conference is for you if you’re looking to learn to cope with grief, honor your baby and your deep love for them and come away with skills to heal the trauma that comes with the heartbreaking loss of ending a beloved pregnancy
​
All while finally feeling seen in a compassionate community of grieving parents  just like you.

And another offering for you:

JOIN OUR UPCOMING TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM

Next rounds of our TFMR Grief Circle program starting in December. Apply now to save your spot in our group grief support program (small intimate groups of 5 or 6 max)

If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group grief support, here’s the link to check out our upcoming grief circles starting in December 2024 https://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

And if you would like to share your TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com

Music clip:
Pamgaea by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4193-pamgaea
License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/