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Overcoming Your Story Podcast
Overcoming Your Story Podcast episodes
- Hawa Noor: On self-esteem
In the Part two of the discussion with Hawa Noor, Hawa and Miriam explore what is means to have a healthy self esteem.
In this second part of the interview, Miriam speaks to her friend Hawa who she met at the Mastercard Foundation in Toronto. Hawa is a journalist, creative writer, researcher, editor and artist from Kenya who is based in Toronto, Canada.
They explore self-esteem
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- How Hawa and Miriam thought they had high self-esteem, high self-confidence
- How self-esteem issues showed up
- How Hawa discovered she did not have a high self-esteem after all
- Miriam believed she belonged to a group to which the good things life don't happen
- Accepting and celebrating achievements
- How does low self-esteem show up in relationships, friendship, at work, dating?
- The thoughts low self-esteem leave us with and how we manage them
- How to work on your self-esteem
- And More...
BEST MOMENTS
“do you remember anytime, so you took in your success?”
“I wasn't like getting to where I thought I had to be as quickly as I needed to, there was a lot of pressure around me to get there anytime. Something wouldn't go right, it would really just like, just bring me down for amounts of times that weren't healthy.”
WHERE TO FIND HAWA
Instagram: @hawaroll
Website: https://www.hawanoor.com/blog
ABOUT THE HOST
Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer. After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma. Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.
CONTACT METHOD
Instagram: @overcomingyourstory
Instagram: @miriamnjoku_
Facebook
Linkedin
miriamnjoku.com/podcast
Facebook Group : Overcoming Your Story
CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku
34 min - Hawa Noor: Honor Where You Are At
In this episode, Miriam speaks to her friend Hawa who she met at the Mastercard Foundation in Toronto. Hawa is a journalist, creative writer, researcher, editor and artist from Kenya who is based in Toronto, Canada.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Learn for what reasons Kenya is considered home for Hawa
- How Hawa moved back home working in her community and reconnecting with the people
- How Hawa started questioning who she is apart from the group
- How to find your place in the group
- What does an unhealthy or healthy group dynamic mean for its members?
- The importance of compassion and tenderness among members of a group
- Finding the right balance between helping family members and taking care of self
- And much more...
BEST MOMENTS
“I think that just sitting and honoring where you're at, even if like life is moving, and you have to push through and you don't really have the option to stop, to really internally honor where you're at, ”
“That's really when I started to think about who am I apart from the group? ”
“⎡When⎦care and concern, and interest and tenderness is given to especially like young people and young children, and people growing by the elders in the family. To me, that's the group,”
WHERE TO FIND HAWA
Instagram: @hawaroll
Website: https://www.hawanoor.com/blog
ABOUT THE HOST
Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer. After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma. Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.
CONTACT METHOD
Instagram: @overcomingyourstory
Instagram: @miriamnjoku_
Facebook
Linkedin
miriamnjoku.com/podcast
Facebook Group : Overcoming Your Story
CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku
39 min - Dr. Doyin Anibaba: Debunking mental health myths
Doyin Anibaba, MD, Mental health awareness
Our guest today is Doyin Anibaba. She is a medical doctor with a particular interest in mental health. She is the founder of Wellforte, a platform through which she raises awareness about mental health, mental illnesses and reduces stigmas around mental health. She has counseled people both on- and offline.
In this episode Miriam and Doyin explore asking for help, myths and facts about mental health and how to show support for someone struggling with their mental health.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Myths and facts about mental health, mental illnesses
- Why people are scared to be associated with mental illnesses
- Mental health challenges are more common than we think
- Myths about taking medication to cure mental illnesses
- How best to support a friend/family member struggling with their mental health
- And more
.
QUOTES
Mental illnesses are mental challenges are common.
Don't feel like you're all alone because you're not all alone.
If someone comes to you, and they tell you that this is what they're going through. This is what you're struggling with the past is don't be judgmental. Listen, don't judge them.
VALUABLE RESOURCES:
Book: The compound effect: Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success
ABOUT THE GUEST
Doyin Anibaba, MD
Medical doctor raising awareness about mental health, educating people on mental illnesses and reducing the stigmas around mental health
Find Doyin on
Instagram @wellforte
https://www.instagram.com/thewellforte/
ABOUT THE HOST
Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer. After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma. Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.
CONTACT METHOD
Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/
Facebook
Linkedin
CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku
48 min - Release Shame, Silence and Secrets!
DESCRIPTION
In this episode, Miriam talks about shame, silence and secrets and how they affect us. She explores what shame is and how it affects our mental health. Shame and silence are linked and it creates isolation. She shares her own journey and adds in there the idea of secrets that we don't share and they eat us up from the inside.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Shame can affect our mental health, it thrives on secrets we believe we have to protect
- Secrets can be harmful for our mental and physical health and also our relationships
- Miriam explores her relationship with shame, isolation and silence. She craved connection but shame kept her isolated from the people around her.
- She shares how she finally released herself from shame
- How the secrets we keep have power over us and sometimes we keep them longer than necessary
- She suggests some ways you can release shame and become less isolated. She is available to do this work with you as a trauma recovery coach.
BEST MOMENTS
"They say Time heals all wounds. But in the case of trauma, that's now not how it goes."
“Many things happen to you, but the gem that you are still in there in you. So it's a matter of giving voice to those feelings of shame. naming them out”
“Sometimes we have secrets that we we're so scared that we come and destroy everything. And then we don't even realize when the secret has no power anymore. And we keep it and sometimes people keep secrets with a lifetime that they could actually read themselves of and find freedom.”
BOOK RECOMMENDATION
Healing The Shame That Binds You, John Bradshaw
Youtube John Bradshaw - Healing the Shame That Binds You
ABOUT THE HOST
Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer. After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma. Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.
CONTACT METHOD
miriamnjoku.com
Instagram: Overcomingyourstory
Instagram: @_miriamnjoku
Facebook
Linkedin
CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku
13 min - Discussion With Amanda Iheme, Psychotherapist in Lagos
Our guest today is Amanda Iheme is a psychotherapist and architecture photographer based in Lagos. She is founder of Ndidi Private Mental Health Practice in Lagos, Nigeria. Amanda is a therapist and architecture photographer.
In this episode Miriam and Amanda explore mental health, childhood trauma, seeking help in the Nigerian, African context.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Why Amanda chose to become a therapist
- How trauma affects the adult's life
- How Nigerians are not allowed to complain about what is hurting them especially if it is emotional
- How the Covid pandemic hals helped people recognize the importance of mental health
- What clients she sees at her practice and the issues they bring
- How she takes care of her mental health as psychotherapist
- And more
QUOTES
"The shame really comes from the culture to be honest, it makes people think that these negative things that are happening to them, it's okay, and it's normal for it to happen."
"I know how to manage my own emotions, and if it goes beyond what I know I am capable of I have friends who are emotionally intelligent around me. They can support me, I can ask them questions, I can seek their point of view. And I know that they will always be honest with me or hold me accountable, and they will support me in that kindness when possible."
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Figuring by Maria Popova (https://www.brainpickings.org/)
Childcare and the Growth of Love, John Bowlby
Dreams and Nightmares: The Origin And Meaning of Dreams, Ernest Hartmann
ABOUT THE GUEST
Amanda Iheme
Psychotherapist and Architecture Photographer, Founder of Ndidi Mental Health Private Practice
Find Amanda on Instagram at
Website: https://www.ndidi.me/
Contact: T. +2347063238701 E: [email protected]
Website: amandaiheme.com
IG: @n.d.i.d.i
IG: @amandaiheme
ABOUT THE HOST
Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer. After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma. Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.
CONTACT METHOD
Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/
Facebook
Linkedin
CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku
49 min - Are You A Feminist?
- Description
In this episode Miriam explores the idea of being a feminist in the African context.
The inspiration for the episode came from listening to rooms about feminism on Clubhouse
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- We should not deny their pain when women come forward and share about what they went through.
- "These are our traditions", "we've always done it this way should not be an excuse to continue oppressing women. Accepting there is a problem is a first step
- Women and girls are socialized differently from men and boys giving each group a different experience, it takes coming together and making an effort to understand to be able to break the break the stronghold of patriarchy
- Women being uplifted and treated with equity in society means the whole society is better off, even the men are better off with empowered women.
BEST MOMENTS
“Women in my family were married off like that we know without any education”
“A woman who is educated, we sustain more people in her family event, we have to change things, and we have to work together."
“When a person is silent for so long, when they start talking, they will not talk in a very smooth and constructed way, they will come across, angry, frustrated, and different things”
VALUABLE RESOURCES
Book: Unbowed by Wangari Maathai
ABOUT THE HOST
Miriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer. After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma. Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.
CONTACT METHOD
Instagram: @_miriamnjoku/
Facebook Group : Overcoming Your Story
Linkedin
CLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjoku
16 min - How Patience is Using Her Story to Help OthersIn this earnest and moving episode, Miriam speaks to Patience Abonge a trauma awareness activist. Patience opens up about her own mental health journey, the message she is trying to get out to the world and how she is using this to help others.KEY TAKEAWAYSThere is no one who is going to believe in your more than yourself.Patience grew up living with her grandmother and auntie. At first, she thought her auntie was actually her mother but later realised she was not. This affected her psychologically at such a young age.One of patience’s driving forces to changing her outlook and the way she lives her life is her daughter. She doesn’t want her daughter to have to experience the same trauma she did. She wants her daughter to be able to express herself however she wishes and the only way she can truly do that is be an example for her and create a lasting legacy.Although patience recognises that her family have been supportive, she knows that they still do not really understand poor mental health, the complexity of it and her own personal struggles. This made her determined to use her story to both inspire and teach others about the true seriousness and impact of mental health.Often we shame our real feelings, especially around mental health. This means that people do not know what you are going through but it also means those who are struggling in the same way don’t know to reach out. By talking about our own mental health and struggles we can build communities and support networks.The mother wound is real. In order to heal and move on we have accept our mothers for who they are and let go of who we think they should have been to us as children.BEST MOMENTS“No one knows you better than yourself”“I am going to talk about mental health, I would use my story to inspire those who are struggling and trying to make the African community understand that mental health can actually kill someone”“What am I leaving behind to empower others?”“If we share knowledge, if we talk, these things will not continue”VALUABLE RESOURCESABOUT THE GUESTPatience AbongeFrom silence to speaker.A journey from the other side of the wall❤️Find Patience on Instagram atIG: @patienceabongeIG: @freemindsfoundationABOUT THE HOSTMiriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer. After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma. Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.CONTACT METHODInstagram: @_miriamnjoku/FacebookLinkedinCLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjokuSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.50 min
- Why We Need To HealIn this episode Miriam talks about the art of healing and how it can not only transform ourselves but also impact those around us.So many families are scarred by generational trauma, if we work to heal it in ourselves we can avoid passing on it on to our children.KEY TAKEAWAYSWe inherit many things from our families, genes, traditions and trauma too. We learn negative and unhelpful ways of dealing and coping with situations from those surrounding us growing up, which then affects all areas of our lives.Anxiety and depression in adulthood can be a consequence of suffering from generational trauma. We often don’t know where the source of these problems are, but if we can unpick what patterns we have created and unburden ourselves from the shame then we can begin to heal. It takes a conscious effort to recognise these patterns of behaviour and change them.Just because we talk about and face generational trauma, it doesn’t mean we are criticising our parents or blaming them in any way. Often parents and families are just trying to get through life and survive, in any way they know how.Generational trauma comes with a lot of secrets that are not allowed to be talked about. When there are secrets and shame, people cannot talk freely, so these things manifest in other ways.BEST MOMENTS“The people who bear the burden are the weakest members of the family, most of the time, these are children”“Children get born into fears and feelings that do not belong to them”“To transform something we have to recognise, with compassion, that certain patterns are fruit of trauma, pain and oppression”VALUABLE RESOURCESBook: It didn't start with you by Mark WolynnABOUT THE HOSTMiriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer. After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma. Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.CONTACT METHODInstagram: @_miriamnjoku/FacebookLinkedinCLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjokuSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.23 min
- How Emmanuela Forged Her Path - Interviewing Emmanuela AlimlimIn this episode, Miriam speaks to Emmanuela who she met at Mastercard Foundation. Emmanuela was born in Kenya but has been living in Canada since 2013.Emmanuela talks about her upbringing, mental health and the expectations of others so many of us carry throughout our lives.KEY TAKEAWAYSEmmanuela grew up in northern Kenya, with a typical African upbringing including having a strong support system around her. She says she grew up socially and culturally rich but economically she was poor. So, although they didn’t have much she was happy. But, this was the driving force behind her wanting to see how big the world is and to study.After doing well in her studies, Emmanuela learnt about being able to apply and study abroad, so she decided to go for it and in 2013 she went to Toronto to study and is still there today.Emmanuela found herself suffering with imposter syndrome, which she struggled with for quite some time. It caused both overwhelm and depression and the only way she managed to get out of this was by seeking help, driven by the love for her family.Emmanuela went to therapy, including CBT and other talking therapies. In doing this she discovered that music was also a part of her healing and is something that still helps her now.In 2017, Emmanuela wrote and directed the documentary Invisible Despair, her aim was to highlight the struggles she knew other students would be going through and to find out what kind of support was needed to help them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fopk5UEo5OsBEST MOMENTS“I grew up socially and culturally rice, but economically I was poor”“There is such a price to pay when we are the first, in the family to leave your country, the first to go to university”“I needed to bring all voices together so we could really find out where the breakdown in communication was and where do we need to invest in supporting our students”“You put up a good fight then realize it’s time to let it go”VALUABLE RESOURCESInvisible Despair Documentary 2017, Written and directed by Emmanuela Alimlim https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fopk5UEo5OsABOUT THE HOSTMiriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer. After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma. Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.CONTACT METHODInstagram: @_miriamnjoku/FacebookLinkedinCLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjokuSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.39 min
- Forgiveness MeditationToday Miriam talks about what she has been learning at her weekly class at the mind and body institute. She has been finding out different techniques she can use to manage herself and feel whole. Such as eating mindfully, creating, meditations and more. In this episode she shares what she has learnt about forgiveness, of others and of yourself.KEY TAKEAWAYSIt’s been really helpful for Miriam to learn the various techniques, it has been helping her know what tools she has to manage her life, especially in regards to emotions and mindfulness.This past weeks session was about spirituality and the second task they focused on was forgiveness meditation. It was such a powerful thing for Miriam to discover which is why she wants to share it with others.Forgiveness Meditation:Sit comfortably and close your eyes, imagine a chair opposite you, put someone you need to forgive in that chair. Tell them what you forgive them for. Once you have told them this, bring them closer to your heart. You can also use this technique to ask for forgiveness from others and to forgive yourself.BEST MOMENTS“I have different ways to express them”“It was so powerful, I cried the whole time”VALUABLE RESOURCEShttps://www.instagram.com/connectingstories/?hl=enForgiveness Meditation - Jack Kornfield https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbHKCy4f6DkABOUT THE HOSTMiriam is a Trauma Informed Coach, an African, a mom of three daughters, a blogger and writer. After graduating from the London School of Economics, she built her international career in the fields of banking and international development, working for organisations such as the World Economic Forum, Lombard Odier Private Bank, JP Morgan, the Mastercard Foundation and the United Nations. She now uses her passion for psychology and dedicates her time to coaching others to free themselves from the burden of childhood trauma. Her wish to help other women connect to their inner wisdom, love themselves and follow their passion. In her effort to destigmatize mental health and normalize mental health conversations in black communities, she wrote her memoir about surviving childhood and finding her worth.CONTACT METHODInstagram: @_miriamnjoku/FacebookLinkedinCLUBHOUSE: @miriamnjokuSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.11 min
About Overcoming Your Story Podcast
From the publisher's feed
Your Host Miriam Njoku, a trauma recovery coach, shares her journey healing from trauma and interviews guests whose stories will inspire you to change the narrative of your life, uncover your resilience and create a way forward.
Overcoming Your Story Podcast invites black women in Africa and the diaspora to connect to their inner strength, change narratives ingrained in them through living in patriarchy, childhood trauma or racism. Conversations cover mental health, childhood trauma awareness, resilience, self-worth, resilience, emotions, relationships, navigating the workplace, personal development, parenthood and many more. Overcoming Your Story is where we learn to love ourselves and get the right mindset to achieve our purpose.
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