It's Tuesday, so you know what that means? Yes tacos are celebrated. Yes it's probably wing night at a local bar or restaurant. But more importantly, it's Dummy Day! Justin and I make good on an old promise to give personal shout-outs and birthday stories to our dummies that share their birthday with us! Is that you? You should listen and find out. And if you haven't sent us your birthday yet, you for sure ought to so we can get you in the spotlight!
In our first Florida Man story dedicated to Tiffany, we learn of one man who gave into the impulse that goes through all of our minds at one point or another. Surely we've all felt the desire to take a fire extinguisher and spray someone to shut them up or just ruin their day. Walmart Florida men are a different beast entirely.
In our story dedicated to Tiki, we learn how one Florida Man decided he was going to eat a stolen debit card. Seriously? Have you tried bending one of those things to a breaking point? I always have to get the scissors out. So either my debit cards are extra strong or I'm a little woosy who can't channel the power of Florida.
Nick's Florida Man story brings us a tale of terror as a squirrel who was raised to be a malicious threat on the community wreaks havoc on locals. We used to do an ad about modifying squirrels with pine cone battering rams but it seems like Florida may be on the precipice of making it a reality!
Next up on the train to weird shit you couldn't put on a bingo card, Florida Man really riots on Talia's birthday! A Florida Man stuffed dumplings in his mother's mouth after shoving her to the ground. Surely she did something heinous to deserve such treatment right? Do you consider refusing to dress his mannequin upon demand heinous? We don't have answers for you here.
We finally stumble into Florida for Angel as we find one man who was asked to stop eating the ham someone else made. Naturally his reaction was to grab a knife and threaten the life of the host of the gathering. I'm sure they had it coming. And I get it, I can't wait for food at holiday gatherings either.
Wrapping up this episode, we dive into the Worst of the Humanity. This one is not for the feint of heart...well none of them are. Have you heard of a Tennessee Abortion? I'd tell you it has nothing to do with the location or the act but I'm sure you all have figured that out by now!
Produced by: Anthony Hockenberry
Performed by: Anthony Hockenberry and Justin Thomas
Edited by: Caryn Kurdyla
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