Overgivers Anonymous Podcast

This episode of Overgivers anonymous is about “scope creep”. If you work on a project for a client, and you outline what that project is going to be, you know what the job entails, you’ve agreed on a price and then somewhere along the way, you just start adding things for free. That’s what scope creep is all about. But scope creep is different than just over-delivering. It’s not just giving them something a little extra. When scope creep actually happens,you are undervaluing yourself. You’re doing it for free because you don’t think they’ll pay. Because you don’t think that you’re valuable enough to ask for more money. 

Another thing that happens when we allow this scope creep to go on is that we are showing our clients that we don’t have boundaries. That it’s okay to walk all over us, no matter what they asked of us, we’re just going to say yes. We are the yes, men and women of the world. 

You might have boundaries in place in your mind, you might think “okay, if they cross that line, I’m going to be upset”, but you’ve never let them know what the line is or enforced the line when they stopped over it. When we do not let people know what our boundaries are, how do they know what they are? 

When you start out creating boundaries, it feels uncomfortable to create the boundaries. And our boundaries change, they move, things happen, and it’s okay for you to change what your boundaries look like. Don’t expect that the boundaries that you create today are going to still serve you in five or ten years because they won’t, you’re going to change. In order for you to maintain your boundaries, you have to keep explaining the boundaries.. and part of it is that you’re reinforcing it with your own brain, so that when you see a boundary being misused or walked over, you can look at that boundary and say “No, I don’t like that”.

The other part of how scope creep occurs is when you’re not managing the scope of the project, to begin with. If you’ve written it down, you know what it’s supposed to be about, you know how many hours you think you’re going to put towards it, and you’ve decided on the amount of money. But if you continue to allow that project to outgrow that, chances are you’re not paying attention, not keeping track you’re just doing it.

Managing your scope is simply making sure you’re following it. You already wrote it down, you said what was going to be included and you figured out how much time it’s going to take. You need to keep track of those expectations both on your side and theirs. Throughout the process of the project, keep an eye on what you said you would cover. Keep an eye on what you expected from them in order for you to complete your job. By having this project in front of you, by knowing what it is that you’ve decided, that you’ve both agreed that will be covered, it’ll be so much easier for you to acknowledge what’s way outside of the scope.

Now, there’s also a thing called scope kill. There are business owners that take the cope of the project and NEVER waver, there is no over-delivering either!, if the project says X, Y, and Z and they just do X, Y and Z. To an overgiver that’s completely different from who you are as a human being. You don’t need to go to that extreme. Having flexibility is important and being able to over-deliver is great. If something takes a little bit of time, it’s okay to say, “yeah, that’s awesome. Let’s do that as included in the project”. Never say free and it should never cause you to lose money or faith in yourself, pride in your work or credibility with your client.

We over-deliver to say to our clients, we appreciate you. We like working with you, you’re fun but when we overgive,

In this episode of Overgivers Anonymous, I’m going to talk about people-pleasing. People pleasers typically try to agree with everybody. They try really hard to avoid conflict and they feel responsible for the way other people feel. And they apologize often. People-pleasers are often burdened by things that they have to do. Their plates are so full of what other people are asking them to do. There is nothing wrong with being a people pleaser, however, there is something wrong with the way that we allow our people-pleasing to get in the way of our health, our wellness, and our business. 

There are several hidden ways that people-pleasing impacts your business, like when you are trying to people please to the point where you are over giving in your business you end up under earning. If you’re not collecting income for the time that you’re spending on projects, you’re losing money and you could be burning out. You might feel like your business is a huge burden, and you don’t know why things are so awful. But you’re burning out because your people-pleasing first and you’re not looking at yourself.

You may feel unmotivated by this entire business process because you feel underappreciated, and you don’t know what to do next. You may be seeing  errors in your business, simply because you’re in this cycle of trying to please everybody but not having enough time and always being behind the eight ball because there’s always something else to do in front of you, that you aren’t saying no to. 

I’m a people pleaser, and people pleasers are great. We are the caregivers of the planet, we look after other people. However, we also need to look after ourselves. So if you’re people-pleasing to the point where you’re over giving in your business and it’s causing you headaches, and you’re having a really hard time, there are some things you can do.

The number one thing you need to realize is you have a choice. You can choose to react differently to the situations that are happening in your life. That’s not going to happen overnight. Whenever we are making changes in our life, in our business, in our relationships, it takes time. The idea is when you are changing your behaviours, or your habits, it’s a slow process, and it takes time. If you take time and slowly acknowledge the growth in the situation, it will happen.

The other thing about how to change the people-pleasing so that it’s not taking over your life is to set your priorities. In order for this to work, you  need to have the mindset that these priorities are much more important to you than the people-pleasing that you’re used to doing. This now leads into the word “no”. We have a hard time with this word, but “no” is an answer. You do not need to give any excuses or any explanation as to why your answer is “no”. When you set your priorities and somebody comes along and says, “I’m just gonna put this on your plate”, you say, “No, that doesn’t belong on my plate”. 

So whenever something comes up in your business, and you feel like you’re people-pleasing, and it’s causing you pain. Perhaps  you feel overwhelmed, overworked or stressed. Take a step back and think about whether or not it might be a people-pleasing problem. If it is, remember you have a choice. Set your priorities and put your boundaries around those priorities, that will show you that you have the ability to set limits. Say no and express your opinion for something different.

In this episode, we’re going to be talking to a really special guest! Jamie Nudelman is a Viral Video Creator and Lifestyle Hacker. He helps Health & Wellness influencers reach and impact more people with their message using viral videos. Jamie has worked with Influencer brands such as Kinobody, UMZU, Shawn Wells and has edited videos for Inner Light Media that have reached more than 4 million + views. He believes that in order to make a mainstream impact, you need to get known, seen and heard. That’s why he co-founded viralcontenttemplates.com, which sells products and services that help entrepreneurs grow their social media through viral content. He and his partner Katya are currently residing in Malta and planning to host an event in 2020 to bring creators of impact together.

Today we’re going to continue on the topic of boundaries and work-life balance. Jaime and I are going to share a little bit about our journeys with our business and how we deal with creating those boundaries. We’re also going to dive a bit into the health aspects of dealing with stress and taking time for self-care.

Boundaries are the one thing that separates you from giving too much and burning out. Going all-in on a client is not a bad thing. But boundaries are necessary to establish the limit in which a client knows they can’t overstep. And it needs to be set in stone when you work with a client. Because if that’s not set, then there really is no rule. On the other hand, If you consistently overgive you get to a point where your clients realize that you’re overgiving so much and they’re now feeling bad that they’re not paying you enough. Boundaries benefit everyone and create a balanced relationship.

When you keep working to the point of burn out, it becomes a health issue. You get into the habit of always working and pushing through. Doing launch after launch after launch, because it’s great to make that much money, but at what cost? We look at life and how everyone is so driven. People are hustling, trying to make as much money as possible. But the use of medication is so high for headaches, stomach pain, upset stomach, for not being able to sleep at night. All of these things are the symptoms.

We’re working hard day by day and some people feel like their batteries are getting drained early in the day, others feel it early in the afternoon, or it might take a few days before they realize that their energy is dropping. There are things that can be done to help you energize. Getting out and just exploring, spending time with your partner, exercising, eating properly, having a routine. You need to take time for yourself!

People who are hustling and working 16 hour days. The moment they get sick or have the flu for a week, that’s when they realize how much time they’re losing, and how much they can’t get done. And that’s when they realize that they wished they had taken  time off that lets them recharge. Your body is like a battery, and the same way you charge your phone, you want to charge yourself. Hopefully, you can take a few bits and pieces of what we talked about today, and put it into the back of your mind somewhere. And then next time you get a cold or a flu or upset stomach, you can think, “Hmm, maybe my body’s trying to tell me something is not right”. 

 

 

Jamie Nudelman

 

Website:

jamienudelman.com

Facebook Page

https://www.facebook.com/jamienudelman/

 

In this episode of Overgivers Anonymous, we are going to talk about work-life balance. This is one of those pain points that we think about a lot as a business owner. It looks a little different to each and every one of us, but it’s important to realize that your life is not your business. A lot of times I’ve heard entrepreneurs say “Oh, my business is my baby” and I also fell into that trap thinking that my business was my baby. 

Think about the way that you feel about your children. It’s very different. As much as we put our time, energy and effort into our business, it isn’t our baby. That’s the number one thing you need to get over, your business is not your baby. This business is something you build, and you need to have a life outside your business. You need your business to be a part of your life, not for it to be all of your life. 

A lot of business owners tie a lot of their personal value to how successful they are in business,and success is different for everybody. But your value is not tied to your business. If your business model isn’t successful, that doesn’t mean you are an unsuccessful human being or that you’re not smart enough, or intelligent enough. It is simply the business model. You can change the business model.

Don’t lay your value in the success of your business, your business can change. Take into account of all of the amazing things that you do for the world, your skills, and the value that you bring to the world. It helps to surround yourself with people who support you, encouraged and push you to grow. Surround yourself with people who are all about growing, changing, trying to create new ideas in the world. Those are the people that are going to help you to get out of the funks that we get stuck in when our life and our business just seem muddy and cloudy together.

Now when we talk about being overly consumed by our business, when you are so consumed by the business, to the point where you’re losing yourself, you are identifying your successes by the business successes, and you really don’t have a life outside your business. It’s really important we talk about outsourcing. Even the smallest business has the ability to outsource something. If you’re making money in your business in any way you can outsource something from the very beginning of your business. 

In this episode, I go over my experiences with growing my business and finding a “life-work balance” that works for me. I talk a little bit about how I overcame those challenges and encourage you to take steps for finding this balance and having a healthier relationship with your business.

In this episode of Overgivers Anonymous Podcast, I talk about the importance of boundaries. When you think about the amount of time, energy, the space you give other human beings in your life, it’s important to think about how much you’re willing to give.  We have a tendency to want to give everything, to the point that it isn’t healthy! This type of behaviour tends to serve other people really, well, but when it comes to you, it does not serve you at all. You end up being overtired, stressed and unhappy. What we need to understand is that there is a point where overgiving does more harm than good. Not only for yourself but for the others too!! Our habit of over-delivering is nice, but there’s a fine line between giving things to somebody to be nice, and then giving them so much that they feel indebted to you! 

I like to think about boundaries from the perspective of how I would want my best friend to be treated, and how I want people to speak about my best friend as well. That’s how I would encourage you to think about yourself too. I guarantee that you allow yourself to be stepped on a lot more than you would allow your best friend to be stepped on. It is important that you learn how to recognize the signs that you are demanding too much of yourself and something isn’t right. That is when you have to take action. 

In this podcast, I tell you a little bit about my history with overgiving, exhausting myself for the others, and how I learned to put up boundaries. Not only boundaries around my work, but on my personal life a well. I talk about how I learned to better use my time and how to put an end the cycle of guilt I put on myself.

Welcome to the Overgivers Anonymous Podcast!

I am your host Angela Mondor, I am also known as the Geeky Girl. I’ve been in business since 2009. I’ve done a lot of things, and as of right now, I’m an OBM (Online Business Manager). I love to dive into systems and processes, team and time management. Technology all through it. I work with business owners to create processes, implement systems, save time and manage their teams.

This is episode zero, and it’s an introduction to a podcast series called Over Givers Anonymous. This series is all about how to make changes and create a business and a life that fills you up. When we start a business we want to make sure our clients have all of the amazing things that we can possibly give them. However, a lot of times, we take it to an extreme, where instead of overgiving a little bit to make your clients happy or give them some extra joy. We’re now overgiving to the point that we are literally handcuffing ourselves. We’re going to talk a lot about boundaries, discuss overgiving and caring about yourself. So when you wake up in the morning, you don’t feel overweight and heavy by all of the things that you have to get done.

We are also going to be talking about processes, systems, team and time management. Those things can make a huge impact on your business, with very little bit of effort on your part. I will also be bringing on experts to show you how to run a profitable business while making sure that you’re looking after yourself so that you enjoy your life too.