Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman

In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we explore why everything feels like too much — and you don't know how to make it stop.

I'll walk you through why constant sensory input keeps your nervous system stuck in survival mode, and what it's really costing you. If you've been snapping at people you love, flinching at every notification, or feeling "touched out" by the end of the day, this one is for you.

What You'll Walk Away With

→ Why chronic overstimulation isn't a personal failing — it's your nervous system doing exactly what it was trained to do

→ A reflection question to help you notice the sensory input you're absorbing all day without realizing it

→ Permission to protect your senses on purpose — darkness, silence, and digital breaks as real rest, not indulgence

Primary Action

Download the free 7-Day Self-Care Reset → javerywellness.com/reset

Sponsored By

This episode is brought to you by Javery Integrative Wellness Services. Browse our digital downloads and tools designed to help you do this work between sessions → javerywellness.com/store

More From This Episode

→ Watch on YouTube → youtube.com/@javerywellness

→ Catch up on the series: Episode on Mental Rest

Connect

→ Instagram · @javerywellness

→ Website · javerywellness.com

Disclaimer

Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman is for educational and informational purposes only. This podcast does not constitute therapy, medical advice, or a therapeutic relationship. If you are struggling or in crisis, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.

Episode Summary

In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we explore why you can be physically still and mentally exhausted at the same time.

I'll walk you through the invisible mental labor so many high-achieving Black women carry without ever naming it — and why your brain seems to "wake up" the second your body finally gets quiet. If you've been lying awake at 2 or 3am running through a to-do list you didn't ask for, this one is for you.

What You'll Walk Away With

→ Why mental rest is different from sleep, and why high achievers are especially prone to losing it

→ A reflection practice to name the mental labor you're carrying that no one else sees

→ Permission to rest your mind, not just your body — through brain dumping, monotasking, and scheduled mental breaks

Ready to go deeper? Start here → javerywellness.com/get-started

Not quite there yet? Download the free 7-Day Self-Care Reset → javerywellness.com/reset

Sponsored By

This episode is brought to you by Javery Integrative Wellness Services. Browse our digital downloads and tools designed to help you do this work between sessions → javerywellness.com/store

More From This Episode

→ Watch on YouTube → youtube.com/@javerywellness

→ Catch up on the last episode in this series, Physical Rest → [The Real Reason You Can't Feel Desire Anymore]

→ Upcoming events → javerywellness.com/events

Connect

→ Instagram · @javerywellness

→ Website · javerywellness.com

Disclaimer

Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman is for educational and informational purposes only. This podcast does not constitute therapy, medical advice, or a therapeutic relationship. If you are struggling or in crisis, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.

In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we open our rest series by starting with the body.

I walk through why physical rest isn't just sleep, why the Strong Black Woman archetype trains you to override both pain and desire the same way, and why you can do everything "right" and still wake up feeling like a stranger in your own body. I

f you've stopped noticing what you actually want — not just what you need to get done — this one is for you.

What You'll Walk Away With

→ The difference between passive rest (sleep) and active rest (movement, touch, bodywork) — and why you need both

→ A reflection practice for noticing where your body holds tension, and what it's actually asking for underneath it

→ Permission to treat rest as the doorway back to desire, not a reward you have to earn first

Resources

Download the free 7-Day Self-Care Reset → javerywellness.com/reset

Sacred Rest by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith (2017) — the seven types of rest framework referenced in this episode. ***This description contains an Amazon affiliate link. If you purchase through it, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.***

Sponsored By

This episode is brought to you by Javery Integrative Wellness Services. Browse our digital downloads and tools designed to help you do this work between sessions

→ javerywellness.com/store

Connect

→ Instagram · @javerywellness

→ Website · javerywellness.com

Disclaimer

Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman is for educational and informational purposes only. This podcast does not constitute therapy, medical advice, or a therapeutic relationship. If you are struggling or in crisis, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.

Episode Summary

In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we kick off a brand-new series inside Season 7's desire theme: the seven types of rest.

I'll walk you through why the rest you've been taking might not be working — not because you're doing it wrong, but because no one ever taught you that rest is allowed to include desire.

If you've ever rested all weekend and still felt empty, or called yourself lazy when your body was really just asking for something you wouldn't let yourself have, this one is for you.

Over the next seven episodes, we're taking each type of rest one at a time — starting today with the reframe underneath all of them.

What You'll Walk Away With

→ Why "productive rest vs. lazy rest" is the wrong question — and what to ask instead

→ The seven types of rest framework (physical, creative, sensory, social, spiritual, and more) and why physical rest alone was never going to be enough

→ Three reflection questions to figure out what kind of rest you've actually been avoiding

Resources

Download the free 7-Day Self-Care Reset → javerywellness.com/reset

Sacred Rest by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith (2017) — the seven types of rest framework referenced in this episode. ***This description contains an Amazon affiliate link. If you purchase through it, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.***

Prefer reading? Check out the blog post here

Sponsored By

This episode is brought to you by Javery Integrative Wellness Services. Browse our digital downloads and tools designed to help you do this work between sessions

→ javerywellness.com/store

Connect

→ Instagram · @javerywellness

→ Website · javerywellness.com

Disclaimer

Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman is for educational and informational purposes only. This podcast does not constitute therapy, medical advice, or a therapeutic relationship. If you are struggling or in crisis, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.

In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we explore what happens in the actual moment you try to choose yourself — and why desire so often loses to other people's needs.

Building on Episode 1's exploration of reconnecting with desire, I walk through why that desire gets so quiet when someone else's need gets loud, and what it's costing you to keep choosing the loud thing.

If you've been trying to reconnect with what you want and feel like life keeps testing that the second you try, this one is for you.

→ Why desire is quiet and need is loud — and why that's not a character flaw

→ A reflection question to sit with this week

→ Permission to let your desire speak first, even for three seconds

Resources

Download the free 7-Day Self-Care Reset → javerywellness.com/reset

Sponsored By

This episode is brought to you by Javery Integrative Wellness Services.

Browse our digital downloads and tools designed to help you do this work between sessions → javerywellness.com/store

More From This Episode

→ Watch on YouTube → youtube.com/@javerywellness

→ Read the companion blog post

→ Upcoming events → javerywellness.com/events

Connect

→ Instagram · @javerywellness

→ Website · javerywellness.com

Disclaimer

Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman is for educational and informational purposes only. This podcast does not constitute therapy, medical advice, or a therapeutic relationship. If you are struggling or in crisis, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.

Episode Summary

In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we explore what happens when you've spent so long achieving, performing, and being logical that you've completely lost touch with what you actually desire.

I'm opening Season 7 with my own story — the hobbies I tried this summer, the struggle I didn't expect, and what it taught me about the gap between pursuing goals and following desire. If you've looked at your life on paper and thought "nothing is wrong, but something is missing" — this one is for you.

What You'll Walk Away With

→ Why creativity and play feel so uncomfortable when your whole identity is built around being excellent — and why that makes complete sense

→ A reflection to sit with: What did you stop wanting because wanting felt dangerous?

→ Permission to start the season exactly where you are — confused, curious, and ready to remember

Primary Action

Download the free 7-Day Self-Care Reset → javerywellness.com/reset

Sponsored By

This episode is brought to you by Javery Integrative Wellness Services.

Browse our digital downloads and tools designed to help you do this work between sessions → javerywellness.com/store

More From This Episode

→ Watch on YouTube → youtube.com/@javerywellness

Connect

→ Instagram · @javerywellness

→ Website · javerywellness.com

Disclaimer

Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman is for educational and informational purposes only. This podcast does not constitute therapy, medical advice, or a therapeutic relationship. If you are struggling or in crisis, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.

In this Season 6 finale of Owning Pleasure as a Black Woman, Natasha does something radical: she actually takes her own advice.

After a season spent naming the patterns that keep high-achieving women stuck — inherited guilt, the productivity trap, the double bind of self-care, the cost of always choosing everyone else — Natasha pauses to reflect on what this season was really about, and what it looks like to move from content consumption to actual implementation.

She'll be back in September. And she's inviting you to enjoy your summer too. If you've been nodding along all season and still feel stuck, this episode is your permission slip — and your next step.

Key Takeaways:

• Understanding your patterns and actually changing them require two different things — and knowing the difference is the first real step
• Consuming content about rest is not the same as resting — and this season was an invitation to close that gap
• Modeling rest matters: when you see someone else take a real break without the world falling apart, it gives you permission to do the same

Listen Now: Hit play to hear why the woman who's been teaching you about rest all season is finally taking some — and why she wants you to do the same.

Links Mentioned:

• Start Your Healing Journey: Ready to stop carrying this alone? Complete the intake form at Javery Integrative Wellness Services to take your next step. [javerywellness.com/get-started]
• Free 7-Day Self-Care Reset: Not sure if therapy is your next step? Start here. [javerywellness.com/reset]

Connect with Us:

• Instagram: @javerywellness
• Facebook: @javeryIWS
• YouTube: @javerywellness
• Website: www.javerywellness.com

Leave a Review:

If this episode resonated with you, please leave a 5-star rating and share what stood out to you in a comment. Your feedback helps other women find this message when they need it most!

Music: Mykhailo Kyryliuk via Pixabay

In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we're talking about the pattern that gets mistaken for strength all the time — hyper-independence.

If you're the woman everyone leans on but you can't remember the last time you actually let someone carry something for you, this episode is going to feel very familiar.

We explore where this pattern comes from, what it's really protecting you from, and what it might be costing you in your relationships and your sense of connection.

This isn't about fixing yourself — it's about understanding yourself, maybe for the first time.

Key Takeaways:

• Hyper-independence is a protective response, not a personality type — and it usually develops for very good reasons
• The same pattern that kept you safe at some point may now be the thing keeping you isolated
• True connection requires a kind of vulnerability that hyper-independence doesn't allow — and there's a way through that doesn't require you to abandon yourself

Listen Now: Hit play to hear why the most exhausting thing you might be doing is refusing to let anyone help you.

Links Mentioned:

• Start Your Healing Journey: Ready to stop carrying this alone? Complete the intake form at Javery Integrative Wellness Services to take your next step. [javerywellness.com/get-started]
• Free 7-Day Self-Care Reset: Not sure if therapy is your next step? Start here. [javerywellness.com/reset]

Connect with Us:

• Instagram: @javerywellness
• Facebook: @javeryIWS
• YouTube: @javerywellness
• Website: www.javerywellness.com

Leave a Review:

If this episode resonated with you, please leave a 5-star rating and share what stood out to you in a comment. Your feedback helps other women find this message when they need it most!

Music: Mykhailo Kyryliuk via Pixabay

In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we're talking about the pattern that gets mistaken for strength all the time — hyperindependence.

If you're the woman everyone leans on but you can't remember the last time you actually let someone carry something for you, this episode is going to feel very familiar.

We explore where this pattern comes from, what it's really protecting you from, and what it might be costing you in your relationships and your sense of connection.

This isn't about fixing yourself — it's about understanding yourself, maybe for the first time.

Key Takeaways:

• Hyperindependence is a protective response, not a personality type — and it usually develops for very good reasons
• The same pattern that kept you safe at some point may now be the thing keeping you isolated
• True connection requires a kind of vulnerability that hyperindependence doesn't allow — and there's a way through that doesn't require you to abandon yourself

Blog Post: Want to go deeper on this topic? Read the accompanying blog post: Hyper-Independence Isn't a Personality Trait. It's a Survival Strategy. Read it here.

Watch on YouTube: Prefer to watch? Head over to our YouTube channel to catch the full episode: Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman. Watch it here.

Listen Now: Hit play to hear why the most exhausting thing you might be doing is refusing to let anyone help you.

Links Mentioned:

• Start Your Healing Journey: Ready to stop carrying this alone? Complete the intake form at Javery Integrative Wellness Services to take your next step. [javerywellness.com/get-started]
• Free 7-Day Self-Care Reset: Not sure if therapy is your next step? Start here. [javerywellness.com/reset]

Connect with Us:

• Instagram: @javerywellness
• Facebook: @javeryIWS
• YouTube: @javerywellness
• Website: www.javerywellness.com

Leave a Review:

If this episode resonated with you, please leave a 5-star rating and share what stood out to you in a comment. Your feedback helps other women find this message when they need it most!

Music: Mykhailo Kyryliuk via Pixabay

In this episode of Owning Pleasure As A Black Woman, we sit down with Simone’ — UX content designer turned full-time content creator — for one of the most honest conversations we've had about what happens when you do everything you were supposed to do... and life still falls apart.

After nearly a decade in tech, Simone was laid off in 2025. She recorded the moment, posted it, and watched it reach over 700,000 views overnight.

But this episode isn't really about going viral. It's about what it means to lose the thing you built your identity around, have to ask for help when you've never done that before, and slowly discover that the version of yourself on the other side is someone you actually like.

If you've ever felt like your worth was wrapped up in your job title, struggled to ask for support, or wondered what it would look like to finally choose yourself — this one's for you.

📷 Love the video quality in this episode? Simone records using the Acer 4K Webcam — shop it on her Amazon Storefront here.

This is an affiliate link. Simone’ may earn a small commission if you purchase through this link, at no extra cost to you.

Key Takeaways:

• Grief looks like guilt: Simone’ shares how losing a job she didn't even cause felt like letting her family down — and what that revealed about where her sense of worth was living.
• Asking for help is a skill, not a weakness: From getting a roommate to launching a Buy Me a Coffee, Simone’ had to completely reframe what it meant to receive support — and found out people were more generous than she expected.
• Survival mode can quietly become your ceiling: It wasn't until Simone’ stopped just trying to cover her bills and started asking "what if I actually went for it?" that everything shifted.

Watch the Video That Started It All: See the moment Simone recorded her layoff in real time — the video that reached over 700,000 views. And yes, she made $15,000 in 30 days – check out how she did it.

Watch on YouTube: Prefer to watch instead of listen? Head over to our YouTube channel to catch the full episode: [Watch it here.]

Listen Now: Ready to get inspired? Hit play to hear what becomes possible when the life you planned stops working — and you finally let yourself want something different.

Follow Simone:

• YouTube: youtube.com/@lifeandnumbers
• Instagram: instagram.com/thelifeandnumbers
• TikTok: tiktok.com/@lifeandnumbers
• Substack: substack.com/@lifeandnumbers

Links Mentioned:

• Start Your Healing Journey: Ready to stop carrying this alone? Complete the intake form at Javery Integrative Wellness Services to take your next step. [javerywellness.com/get-started]
• Free 7-Day Self-Care Reset: Not sure if therapy is your next step? Start here. [javerywellness.com/reset]

Connect with Us:

• Instagram: @javerywellness
• Facebook: @javeryIWS
• YouTube: @javerywellness
• Website: www.javerywellness.com

Leave a Review:

If this episode resonated with you, please leave a 5-star rating and share what stood out to you in a comment. Your feedback helps other women find this message when they need it most!

Music: Mykhailo Kyryliuk via Pixabay