This week the PMP boys heroically shine a light on racism by talking about it insensitively and far too much!!

And is burning books as much fun as it sounds??

A Potterfile is almost taken to Muggle Azkaban (aka Surry Hills Police Station) by the Muggle Ministry Of Magic (aka the NSW Police Force) for impersonating a wizard!

Will he escape the Dementors (beat cops)? And how does David Bowie's hit 'Cho Changes' link in with all of this? (It doesn't) (also, not a real song)

How would co-founder Bill Gates fare in hand-to-hand combat with a full grown adult wolf?

And what does the recent scourge of Pellophiles have to do with the Harry Potter universe?

Some questions are best left unanswered, but regrettably, we have decided to answer them.

Should you give a cat crack cocaine? Should you name your kid after Harry Potter if you have a tenuous grasp on the English language? These important moral dilemmas are tackled head on by the brave Paging Mr Potter boys in this week's episode.

No one:

Actual person on the Internet: Harry Potter's been jerking it in front of your very eyes and none of you have noticed.

The PMP boys: ...

This week the boys are asking the questions other media outlets are too cowardly or "reputable" to go near, like:

Is George Pell's farcical barrister an actual Harry Potter character???

What Harry Potter spin-off would be Oscar-worthy???

Is Piers Polekiss the funniest name in any book ever???

SURPRISE! We simply HAD to do a pod this week because we just can not put this freakin book down! We cover the usual topics of bush poetry, drone warfare and artistic chimps.

JK: Don't fat shame ever.

Also JK: "Dursley's a disgusting fat pig boy who eats his own fat" (page 13).

This ep we tell real ghost stories, explore the obvious connection between The Dursley's and exoplanet Kepler 37b and did Bryan Adams REALLY 69 with Dumbledore??

Spoiler Alert: Ja Rule is Voldemort! Also it's Dudley's Bar Mitzvah kinda maybe... Another page, another potter baby.

BURN AFTER LISTENING! This ep contains a red-hot investigation that we genuinely considered cutting from the final edit. It's still very much in there so get it before The Man tries to censor the Truth.