Paging Mr Potter

"WE'VE REACHED THE END OF OUR TETHER": Recording three pods in a row was a bad idea as this episode will quickly prove - but if you were someone that was even vaguely interested in good ideas you wouldn't be listening to this terrible podcast.

In this punishing page 42, the boys investigate if Voldy is just an angry incel, reach new lows with a new game and dig through Andrew's notebook from his time as telemarketer. Just normal Harry Potter podcast stuff.

This week we bravely tell the story of Lily Potter no-one else will dare go near, prove that prime numbers are fundamentally evil, and play a brand new game that hits new lows, even for us.

PAGE 40 CANCELLED LIST:

•The slave owls in the magical realm.

•Riordan for his offensive literary revisionism.

•Philosopher's Stone director Chris Columbus for his atrocities in the Americas.

The boys encounter the most probbo page yet, and as expected we surgically pick it apart it with our trademark deftness and sensitivity.

HARRY, YOU'RE A...(LINE PLEASE): Hagrid screws up the big reveal, and two worlds collide when the boys go on the hit singing-while-others-not-looking TV show The Voice to save a beloved character from some evil, racist witches

CROSSING OVER WITH RUBEUS HAGRID: Is John Edwards a morally bankrupt scam artist? Or a wizard who walks among us? These are the big questions raised on page 38 of Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone.

FOURTH EPISODE CRAZIES: Against doctor's orders we recorded four pods in a row. Years from now, psychology students will study this ep to learn about the deterioration of the human brain, and literature students will study it to see how Sony product placements, a story about uploading adult material to a work server and an idiot boy wearing a jumper on his legs could be worked into an analysis of a single Harry Potter page.

GORDON RAMSAY'S POTTER NIGHTMARES: This week we learn that Hagrid is a filthy pig boy, short people have magical powers and can Gordon Ramsay save our pod???

Knock Knock

Who's There?

A dead Hagrid.

A dead Hagrid who?

A dead Hagrid who can't bloody wait for episode 35!

This week we tell knock knock jokes, shoot Hagrid in the face and yes, don't worry, we get to Mambo Number 5's Lou Bega.

You guys, WE DID IT! After literal months of talking about an un-opened letter we finally made it to the other side. And what did we find? Why Weird Al Yankovic, the Dalai Lama and Snapes On A Plane of course!

THIS IS YOUR FAULT: Hey look we didn't want do it but you idiots asked for it: the worst episode from the worst podcast on the Internet. The whole gang is back next week so gird your loins for a fully-loaded barrage of nonsense.