Pairadocs

In our society today, we love us some tolerance! Vive la Difference! I always like to say, except when those differences we're "Viveing" are behaviors in our spouse that are driving us up the wall during this sheltering in place experience.  How can we "let go and let God" sooth our relational differences while we're all boarded up inside our houses 24/7?  Listen in this week as the guys discuss how to accept our spouse's faults…That's right.  I said it, FAULTS! They're not differences, they are flaws in their character that if they loved me, they would change!! Or would they?

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Martial Wounds

1. Spouse Preferences - things that minimally impact your life

2. Infractions - things that moderately (and sometimes majorly) impact your life

3. Major Infractions - abuse, infidelity, etc

Scripturally, you only have justification for ending your marriage (or hardening your heart toward you spouse) for the MAJOR INFRACTIONS. 

Marriage is about learning to get over things.

70% of all marital arguments are irreconcilable. 

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So how do we learn to get over things?

Decide that it is not your job to change your spouse! There is a Holy Spirit and it is not me.

Get the log out of our own eye.

Conflict is never about the content, the conflict touches a "raw spot" / insecurity - so your reaction has more to do with you.

Can you agree to disagree? 

Be more grateful for your spouse's good, more than you're mad at the bad.

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

What happens when things don't go as expected? When God doesn't make sense? When our worst fears are realized? What then? How do we respond? What's more, how do we lead our family/kids during such a time? Listen in this week as the guys discuss how to handle the storm when it hits.

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As parents, we set the emotional tone within the home. 

When something bad happens, it's not simply about you, surviving. But as a parent, it is about modeling to our children how to handle storms.

We don't want to model fear.

Faith isn't faith until it is all you have. 

How should we has a family handle storms? (Proverbs 3:5-6)

1. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. When storms happen, we must trust. Learning to trust God happens daily, before the storm happens.

2. Lean not on your own understandings. Life doesn't have to make sense. In fact, most often, life doesn't make sense. And just because we don't understand what God is doing, doesn't mean life is ending and the sky is falling. We shouldn't learn on our own understanding.

3. In all your ways, acknowledge God. Seek God and his kingdom first, and all things will be taken care of.  

4. The payoff, if you do the first three things, God will direct your path. Then, no matter what happens, it is a no lose in that it will be ok. 

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

I know we discussed last week some ideas on how to cope with the entire family being at home due to the COVID, but what about working with, playing with, eating every meal with, parenting with, sitting and relaxing with, and every other activity you can think of with your  spouse…every day, all day, with no breaks.  Sounds fantastic right?!  Or does it sound like you might need a case of Xanax airlifted to your location.  So, what are some practical ideas for how to cope with sharing your every waking moment with your spouse without running screaming from your house because you decided it would be better to take your chances with the pandemic instead?

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1. Give each other space.

2. Empathize with your spouse; seeing through their eyes. Giving them patience and don't assume the worst in your spouse. 

3. Keep structure within the marriage. 

4. Have "other than spouse" adult time. Hangout with people via an online platform. 

5. Have spiritual time together. 

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Okay, the COVID…how do we NOT talk about this?  We're all now working from home, schooling from home, going to church from home, and oh yea, performing all other human activity during every waking moment…from home.  So how do we make it through?  Other than monitoring Twitter all day?  Listen in this week, as the guys discuss ways to cope with the COVID confinement.  I mean, what else ya got to do?

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5 Things Your Family Can Do During COVID

1. Turn off the news

2. Get outside

3. Maintain family routine

4. Keep educating them

5. Don't do screens all day

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

So, you're talking with a friend about something other than the COVID, and your Christian faith comes up.  The friend mentions that they have a huge problem with all of the evil that has been done in the name of God throughout history, and that most Christians today seem to be homophobes, xenophobes, transphobes, and, well, you get the picture.  How do we respond?  How do we teach our kids to respond?  The boys are back this week to offer some very kind, sympathetic, non-abrasive, nor phobic-in-any-way, suggestions. 

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Oppressive Christianity years ago was killing people; oppressive Christianity today is infringing on thoughts/beliefs.

Christian history does not substantiate an oppressive church history, but the exact opposite. 

There isn't any defending terrible acts like the crusades, but you have to begin with questioning whether or not those folks were even Christians. Their actions contradict everything that Jesus said.

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

You know what really sticks with you…other than a foot fungus?  When it comes to our families, the answer is rituals or traditions.  Things that are said and done consistently, frequently, that span over a long duration.  Going to church and small group a couple of times a month is good, but there's a reason that only 32% of kids raised in evangelical homes stay believers as adults.  This week the guys kick around the issue of family rituals, the glue that can help hold faiths and families together.

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Neuroplasticity

To build your child's faith neurobiologically, you must do faith consistently, frequently and over a long duration

Real Life Podcast

Jeff Bethke

Jess Bethke Daily Saying

"I am not what I do

I am not what I have

I am not what people say about me

I am the beloved of God

It is who I am

No one can take it from me

I don't have to worry

I don't have to hurry

I can trust my friend Jesus and share His love with the world"

Myers Family Prayer

I pray there's not a day you can remember not knowing Jesus.

That you understand your need for a Savior at an early age and experience the freedom that comes from giving your life to him.

I pray that praise would be in your heart and on your lips continually.

I pray that you would know who you are in light of the gospel. That you would have a Christ-centered confidence and Christ-centered worth.

I pray that you would hate sin and love holiness.

That you would know the power of the blood to defeat all the works of the one who came to kill, steal and destroy. That you develop relationships based on the drawing of the Holy Spirit.

I pray that you would love the word of God. That you would seek to understand it, hide it in your heart, and base your life on it. 

I pray that you will love others well. That you would have a servant's heart and a desire for your life to be used for something greater than yourself.

**Josh was kidding when he said he's "naturally good at Pairadocs topics"; he has to constantly work toward achieving these things by God's grace. 

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

It's been said that there are only two things that are a certainty in this life: Death and Taxes…well, and you could also add the Dallas Cowboys losing in the first round of the playoffs.  But your family is going face the death of a grandparent, family member, or friend at some point.  That IS a certainty.  So, how do we guide our families through this very sad, scary, and confusing life experience?  Listen in this week.  This discussion is to die for…sorry.

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Give yourself grace! Don't judge yourself for your feelings while grieving. 

There is no one right way to grieve, but there is a wrong way - avoiding it.

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

It is easy to freak your freak in mid life. This moment, that you've been looking forward to your whole life. You have the spouse. The kids. The job. The house. But it can still feel empty. 

But what if this is as good as it gets?

What do you do then? Listen in as the boys discuss.

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Wisdom is having the right perspective. It is fighting the feeling of being trapped! 

There is purpose in mid life

We must accept that this is mid life. It's not perfect, but it is beautiful.

You are not alone; most in this life stage feel this way.

God's word remains a constant, even when your life is a storm. So trust Him. Don't lean on your own understanding. 

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

Like a foot fungus you just can't seem to get rid of…the boys are back with all new episodes for the new year!  And they kick it off with this little gem.  Question:  Would you love a spouse that was gentle, loving, kind, generous, engaged, compassionate, and absolutely couldn't keep their hands off you?  WELL WHO WOULDN'T!!!  Anybody would love a spouse like that.  The trick is to be able to love a spouse that isn't like that.  As believers, we're not called to love our spouse "because", but to love them "anyway." 

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Poltergeist Intro

Love Anyway - Gary Thomas

Different Types of Love

Luke 6

"It's so hard to see when my eyes are on me" Keith Green

Gary Gramling

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com

What if there was one thing that would make most, if not all, family conflicts lessen, of not end.   What would pay for get ahold of the "magic bullet" of relational harmony?  Well get out your credit cards my friends, because this week, the guys discuss the all-important issue of empathy.  This one little touchy-feely word can go a long way toward reducing marital, occupational, and parental conflict.  How do I know?  Because I can feel your pain…

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Brene Brown on Empathy

Empathy drives connection, sympathy drives disconnection.

Brene Brown

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Dr. Jimmy Myers on Twitter: @docjimmymyers, Instagram: @jmyersfam, and Facebook: @docjimmymyers

Dr. Josh Myers on Twitter: @docjoshmyers, Instagram: @docjoshmyers, and Facebook: @docjoshmyers

Pairadocs Podcast on Twitter: @docspodcast, Instagram: @docspodcast, and Facebook: @docspodcast

How do give to the show: www.patreon.com/docspodcast

Billy Myers: www.therapywithbilly.com

The Timothy Center: www.timothycenter.com