Palm Springs Drive Church of Christ

Series: N/A

Service: Wednesday Night

Type: Invitation

Speaker: Joe Rimmer

Series: Power Passages

Service: Wed Bible Study

Type: Bible Class

Speaker: Joe Rimmer

Series: Power Passages

Service: Sun Bible Study

Type: Bible Class

Speaker: Herb Hinely

Series: N/A

Service: Praise and Preaching Service

Type: Sermon

Speaker: Dwayne Gandy

Suffering Like Our Savior

Few people enjoy suffering.

When hardship enters our lives, our natural response is often to complain, defend ourselves, or look for someone to blame. Sometimes we even convince ourselves we are suffering when, in reality, we are simply uncomfortable. We all know how easy it is to complain about the heat, traffic, long lines, or minor inconveniences. Those things may frustrate us, but they are not the kind of suffering the New Testament has in mind.

Real suffering exists in this world. Christians experience sickness, loss, injustice, persecution, betrayal, and disappointment. Peter knew that. The Christians to whom he wrote knew that. The question is not whether we will suffer, but how we will suffer.

Peter answers that question by pointing us to Jesus.

"For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: 'Who committed no sin, nor was deceit found in His mouth'; who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously." (1 Peter 2:21-23)

Those verses set an incredibly high standard.

Peter does not simply tell Christians to endure suffering. He tells them to suffer the way Jesus suffered.

That raises an important question.

What did Jesus do differently?

Peter highlights three characteristics that should shape the way every Christian responds to suffering.

He remained honest.

He refused to retaliate.

He trusted God completely.

Peter Wrote as Someone Who Knew What Was Coming

There is another detail that makes Peter's words even more powerful.

When Peter wrote these instructions, he already knew how his own life would end.

After Jesus' resurrection, He told Peter that a day was coming when others would stretch out his hands and lead him where he did not wish to go. John explains that Jesus was describing the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then Jesus simply said, "Follow Me."

That means Peter wrote about suffering knowing he would eventually face suffering himself.

Tradition says Peter was crucified, choosing to be crucified upside down because he did not consider himself worthy to die in exactly the same manner as his Lord.

Whether Peter was thinking consciously about that conversation every time he wrote or not, he certainly understood that Jesus' example was not merely theological. It was deeply personal.

Everything he urged Christians to do, he knew he would one day have to do himself.

Jesus Was Always Honest

Peter begins by saying, "Nor was deceit found in His mouth."

That statement seems simple until we consider how many opportunities Jesus had to avoid suffering simply by changing His words.

Throughout His ministry Jesus knew that speaking the truth would often bring opposition.

He never allowed that possibility to change what He said.

One striking example comes in Nazareth.

Jesus entered the synagogue, read from the scroll of Isaiah, and then sat down. Every eye in the room was fixed upon Him.

He could have made a general comment about the passage.

He could have spoken vaguely enough to avoid controversy.

Instead, He declared that the prophecy had been fulfilled in their hearing.

The response was immediate.

The crowd became furious.

They drove Him out of the city and attempted to throw Him from a cliff.

Jesus knew exactly what His words would cost Him.

Yet He chose truth over comfort.

That same pattern continued all the way to His trial.

When Jesus stood before Pilate, the accusations centered on the claim that He was deceiving the nation. They accused Him of misleading the people, forbidding tribute to Caesar, and claiming to be Christ the King.

The charges themselves were built around the idea that Jesus was a deceiver.

Ironically, the only truly accurate accusation was that He claimed to be the King. He never denied it because it was true.

Jesus refused to protect Himself with half-truths or careful wording.

He remained truthful even when the truth led directly to the cross.

Peter understood how difficult that was because he had failed that very test.

While Jesus stood before His accusers, Peter was confronted three separate times.

"You were with Him."

"You are one of His disciples."

Peter denied it every time.

When the rooster crowed, Peter remembered Jesus' words and went out weeping bitterly.

Peter knew what it felt like to choose self-protection over truth.

Perhaps that is one reason he emphasized Jesus' honesty so strongly.

Jesus never used deception to escape suffering.

His followers should not either.

Jesus Refused to Retaliate

The second characteristic Peter highlights is equally challenging.

"When He was reviled, He did not revile in return."

Retaliation feels natural.

When someone hurts us, we want them to hurt.

When someone embarrasses us, we want to embarrass them.

When someone mistreats us, we often look for ways to return the favor.

Jesus did exactly the opposite.

When Peter drew his sword in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus immediately stopped him.

He reminded Peter that if He wished, He could ask the Father for more than twelve legions of angels.

Jesus had the power to end His suffering immediately.

He simply chose not to.

That is an important distinction.

Jesus did not refrain from retaliation because He lacked power.

He refrained because retaliation was not the Father's plan.

Later, as Jesus stood before the Jewish leaders, they falsely accused Him of blasphemy.

They declared Him worthy of death.

They spat in His face.

They struck Him.

They mocked Him.

Still, Jesus did not retaliate.

The Roman soldiers treated Him no better.

They stripped away His clothing.

They placed a scarlet robe upon Him.

They twisted together a crown of thorns.

They struck Him repeatedly with a reed.

They mocked Him as "King of the Jews."

Again, Jesus did not retaliate.

Even the criminals crucified beside Him joined in the abuse.

One mocked Him, demanding that He save Himself and them.

Jesus did not answer with threats or insults.

Instead, when the other criminal acknowledged his own guilt and asked to be remembered, Jesus promised him a place in Paradise.

Notice what Jesus never did.

He never reminded His enemies of the judgment that awaited them.

He never used His divine authority to intimidate them.

He never sought revenge.

He simply endured.

That is exactly what Peter calls Christians to imitate.

Jesus Trusted His Father

The final characteristic Peter emphasizes is perhaps the most important.

Jesus "committed Himself to Him who judges righteously."

In other words, Jesus left the outcome in God's hands.

When people sinned against Him, He trusted His Father to deal with it.

He did not need to settle every score.

He did not need to defend His own reputation.

He trusted God's judgment completely.

That trust had characterized Jesus throughout His entire life.

As a twelve-year-old boy, He knew He must be about His Father's business.

At the beginning of His ministry, He followed the Spirit into the wilderness, where He fasted for forty days while facing Satan's temptations.

He trusted His Father's plan even when it led directly into hardship.

Throughout the Gospel of John, Jesus repeatedly said, "My hour has not yet come."

He never forced events ahead of the Father's timetable.

When the proper time finally arrived, John records that Jesus knew His hour had come.

Knowing exactly what lay ahead, He still chose to wash His disciples' feet.

He knew where He had come from.

He knew where He was going.

And He trusted His Father completely.

That trust reached its fullest expression in Gethsemane.

Jesus prayed, "Not My will, but Yours, be done."

He willingly submitted Himself to the Father's will even though He understood the suffering that awaited Him.

Finally, from the cross, Jesus spoke His last words:

"Father, into Your hands I commit My spirit."

Even in death, Jesus placed Himself entirely into His Father's care.

No safer place existed.

Following His Example

Peter did not include Jesus' example merely to be admired.

He intended for Christians to imitate it.

That begins with honesty.

There will be times when speaking the truth about Christ may create uncomfortable conversations or even opposition. Peter's own failure reminds us how tempting it can be to remain silent or distance ourselves from Jesus.

But confession is not something Christians do only before baptism.

Throughout our lives we should be willing to acknowledge that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, even when doing so may cost us something.

Following Jesus also means resisting retaliation.

Modern opportunities for retaliation may look different, but the temptation remains the same.

An email stings.

A text message hurts.

Someone speaks unfairly about us.

Instead of responding immediately, wisdom often waits.

Taking time to pray, seek counsel, and respond thoughtfully reflects the spirit of Christ far better than reacting in anger.

Peter's instruction also calls us to forgive.

When someone wrongs us, we can leave justice in God's hands while choosing not to carry bitterness ourselves.

That is exactly what Jesus did.

Finally, we learn to trust God with the things we cannot control.

Every life contains situations beyond our ability to fix.

Family concerns.

Employment struggles.

Financial pressures.

Health problems.

Those burdens are real.

Yet they provide opportunities to do exactly what Jesus did—to place them into the Father's hands and trust Him to care for them.

We continue doing what is right.

We continue praying.

We continue seeking wisdom.

And then we trust God with what only He can accomplish.

The Savior Who Suffered for Us

Peter's instructions are rooted in one foundational truth.

Jesus did not merely suffer as an example.

He suffered for us.

He endured rejection without deceit.

He endured abuse without retaliation.

He entrusted Himself completely to His Father.

Ultimately, He bore the suffering our sins deserved so that we would not have to bear it ourselves.

Every Christian who suffers has a Savior who understands suffering perfectly.

Every Christian who is mistreated has a Savior who endured greater injustice.

Every Christian who struggles to trust has a Savior who has already shown the way.

That is why Peter points us back to Jesus.

When suffering comes—and it will—the goal is not simply to survive it.

The goal is to follow in the footsteps of the One who suffered perfectly, trusting that the Father who sustained Him will also sustain everyone who faithfully follows Him.

Series: Lord's Supper Talk

Service: Lord’s Supper Service

Type: Lord's Supper Talk

Speaker: Brian Messerli

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be falsely accused for a crime you didn’t commit?  There’s an organization called the “Innocence Project” and their goal is to use advances in DNA technology to help exonerate wrongfully convicted prisoners.  Since 1989, they have set hundreds of prisoners free who should never have been in jail in the first place.  The average time these innocent men and women served in prison was 14 years, and some of them were even on death row before being exonerated.

On the Innocence Project’s website, it gives some of the most common reasons why they were wrongfully convicted.  Apparently 70% of these cases involved eyewitness misidentification.  Just imagine being charged with a crime you know you didn’t commit, but officers inform you that multiple eyewitnesses have placed you at the scene, and now you’re going to jail for absolutely no reason.  You lose your career, you only get to see your family during visiting hours, and people in your life now look at you with suspicion or maybe even contempt because despite how much they thought they knew you, since you’ve been convicted by law it’s hard for them to not wonder if you really might be guilty.

One woman who wrongfully served 4 years in prison described being falsely accused this way:  “When you’re accused of a horrific act you didn’t do, you inevitably experience shock, disorientation, and confusion. There’s tension above your right eyebrow and below your right nostril that sometimes triggers both to twitch uncontrollably, making you self-conscious about looking people in the face. There’s a pinpoint knot that spasms between your shoulder blades, behind your heart, making it hard to sit still. There’s pressure that squeezes your temples and tingles on the edges of your eyes, making it hard to concentrate. You sometimes feel dizzy, dazed, disoriented, forgetful, disconnected from your own body. You wake up drained, your whole body weighed down by a lethargy you can’t shake off. You feel a sometimes dragging, sometimes crushing weight. You’ll be tense from your ears to your lower abdomen, struggling to swallow, struggling to breathe…It is wrong, horrifying, devastating—emotionally, intellectually, viscerally. It is very lonely, and yet, there are so many more of us out there than you know, holding our breath.”

Job 19:7-22 [Job was an upright and blameless man, yet after he lost his wealth, his health, and all 10 of his children in a terrible tragedy, his friends falsely accused him of deserving it.  They said, “Look, you MUST be guilty of some sin which is why God has done this to you.”  All throughout the book, Job tries to defend himself and tell them they have it all wrong, but they continue to press their point.  His own friends don’t believe him and they look at him with suspicion.  On top of that, Job believes God has falsely accused him too, that He’s unjustly pouring out His wrath on Job, and he feels utterly alone.  And of course Job is a foreshadowing of Jesus, who actually DID bear the wrath of God unjustly on our behalf, so think of Jesus when I read this section] - You can hear the desperation, the frustration, the exasperation, the loneliness and hopelessness in his voice.  It was the heart and voice of a man falsely accused for a crime he did not commit.   

Now, Job was not a sinless man, yet still felt the injustice of being falsely accused and treated by his friends and seemingly by God as if he were a criminal.

But Jesus actually WAS perfectly sinless.  If Job, who wasn’t perfect, could be so disturbed to his core about a false accusation, think about how disturbing it would be for Jesus to be falsely accused and to have His character publicly slandered and defamed.    

- Jesus was accused of being a glutton and a drunkard.

- Jesus was accused of being a blasphemer against God.

- He was accused of casting out demons by the power of Satan.

- He was accused of being a Samaritan who was possessed by a demon.

- He was accused of being born out of fornication, insinuating that his mother Mary cheated on Joseph so that Jesus was an illegitimate child.

- He was accused of breaking God’s Sabbath laws.

- He was accused of endorsing sin because He ate with sinners and tax collectors.

- He was accused of planning to destroy the temple in Jerusalem and rebuild it in 3 days.

- He was accused of misleading the Jewish nation down the wrong path morally and forbidding them to pay taxes to Caesar.

- Since He claimed to be a king, He was accused of being a political insurrectionist, inciting people to rebel against Rome.

- At first, Jesus defended Himself and explained the truth, even exposing the absurdity of the accusations.  But once it reached the point of His trial, there was nothing left to say.

- Matthew 26:59-63a - It would be traumatizing enough to be falsely accused and wrongfully convicted through accidental misidentification; but these men are trying to falsely convict Jesus ON PURPOSE, they know these accusations are false and they’re lobbing them anyway!  Which is why Jesus doesn’t even bother defending Himself anymore at this point.  He’ll still make statements about who He is and what He’s coming to do, but He’s done trying to defend His character because He knows it won’t do any good.  Imagine how helpless you would feel in that situation, where you’re being falsely accused and no matter how much evidence you give in court, no one is listening, and no one cares because they all want to see you punished.

- Matthew 27:12-14 - It makes sense why Pilate was so amazed, because he knows if HE were in Jesus’ shoes and someone falsely accused him, he’d be laying out an elaborate defense, begging people to believe him, desperately crying out “Injustice!” and “Violence!” like Job did.  But Jesus isn’t doing any of that.

- Matthew 27:16

- Matthew 27:21-23 - Not only is Jesus wrongfully convicted, they exchange Him for a man who was rightfully convicted.  Jesus’ is now on death row for crimes He did not commit.  And not just any death row; the most. humiliating, painful, excruciating death row there was. Crucifixion was reserved for the worst of criminals, and He died wrongfully convicted, hung up between two rightfully convicted criminals, one of His right and one on His left.

Isaiah 53:7, 12b - “He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth; like a lamb that is led to slaughter, and like a sheep that is silent before its shearers, so He did not open His mouth…He poured out Himself to death and was numbered with the transgressors.”

- When it says He was oppressed, a major part of that oppression was Jesus bearing the burden and weight of injustice from false accusations.  He was numbered with the transgressors, falsely accused of being wicked and then crucified Him between two transgressors because of it.

Let me point out 2 amazing things about Jesus bearing the oppression of false accusations on our behalf:

1. Jesus Chose to be Helpless so He could Help the truly Helpless

• Being falsely accused makes you feel utterly helpless, yet Jesus wasn’t helpless at all.  He could have called 12 legions of angels to destroy His false accusers.  Yet He allowed all of this to happen so that He could help us, the ones who were truly helpless.  In Daniel’s class Wednesday, we talked about how helpless sheep are, and it’s amazing that of all the animals Jesus could have picked to identify with during His ministry, He chose to be a helpless sheep silently led to the slaughter.  But He did it because of His immense love for us, voluntarily going to the slaughter in our place, so we, the truly helpless, wouldn’t have to.

2.  Jesus Bore False Accusations as if they were True so God could treat the True Accusations against Us as if they were False

• One of the descriptors of Satan in Scripture is “the accuser,” and though some of Satan’s accusations against us are false, many of them are absolutely true because of our sin.  Since we’ve all sinned, Satan absolutely has a strong case against us in court, he is perfectly justified in accusing us of sin and in bringing a charge against us in God’s court, and we absolutely deserve to be punished as criminals.  Yet Jesus came to take all of Satan’s accusations against us upon Himself, and when applied to Jesus, those accusations were false.  Yet He bore those false accusations as if they actually WERE true of Him and took the punishment as if it WERE something He deserved, so that His Father could treat Satan’s true accusations against us as if they’re false so that we could be exonerated as if we were innocent.
  • • Jesus came to bring a far more radical kind of Innocence Project; not a project that declares innocent people innocent, but a project that declares guilty people innocent by bearing all the accusations of the guilty upon Himself, so now as the apostle Paul writes in Romans 8:33-34: “Who can bring a charge against God’s chosen people?  Since God has declared us innocent, who can charge us with guilt?"

Series: N/A

Service: Wednesday Night

Type: Invitation

Speaker: Jason Bray

Series: Power Passages

Service: Wed Bible Study

Type: Bible Class

Speaker: Daniel Fritz

Series: N/A

Service: Praise and Preaching Service

Type: Sermon

Speaker: Brian Messerli

Zechariah 3:1-3 [Zechariah was written in what’s called apocalyptic style, which means he communicates his message through symbols and pictures.  This book is all about God’s future plans for the glory of His people, but in this chapter, Zechariah sees a problem for God’s people] - Joshua was the high priest after the people of Judah returned from Babylonian captivity; he was their religious representative, and because of the sins of the people, Joshua’s clothes are filthy and Satan is pointing out those filthy garments to God accusing him in court.

We’ll come back to this scene later, but this is what Satan does.  He accuses us and even accuses God, of sin.  In Revelation 12:10, Satan is called “the accuser,” and one of his favorite ways to accuse us is through over-shame.  Now, a common way today to refer to over-shame is toxic shame, but I prefer the term over-shame because it reminds us sin so often comes from good things taken too far.  In our recent class on anxiety, we said that concern is good and healthy, but over-concern is what leads to sinful fear and anxiety.  Sexual desire and desire for food are good and healthy, God gave those desires to us, but over-desire can destroy us.  Likewise, in the last sermon I preached, we talked about the benefits of righteous shame.  Sometimes the term “toxic shame” makes it sound like shame in and of itself is toxic or evil; but that’s the true.  God gave us shame as the painful feeling that accompanies real or perceived loss of respect, social standing, and connection with God and/or the community we value most.  In short, it’s the pain of being socially discredited, and we absolutely SHOULD care about that because God created us to be social beings.  Shame fosters social cohesion, and God designed us to feel shame when we violate our societal agreements about what’s proper morally and as a matter of etiquette.

But one of Satan’s favorite tools to use against us is over-shame, and it’s his secret weapon because it’s so subtle as to almost go unnoticed, and it can sneak its way into every relationship, every interaction, and every event in our lives.  And here’s a good way to distinguish between shame and over-shame.  Shame is the painful feeling that accompanies a threat to our sense of belonging.  When our standing in the group has decreased, we fear we might be abandoned if we don’t make things right.  And again, in healthy doses, this is good, because if we’re concerned about rejection by the group, it motivates us toward good moral behavior that benefits our community, and motivates us to seek forgiveness and reconciliation when we don’t.  This kind of shame actually draws us closer to the group in the end.

But over-shame is the painful feeling of believing you don’t belong at all and that you deserve to be abandoned.  Compared to regular, righteous shame, over-shame is toxic because instead of it drawing us closer and motivating better moral behavior and social cohesion, it leads us to avoid people and isolate ourselves from the group completely because we no longer feel worthy to be a part of it, we no longer feel like forgiveness or reconciliation is possible because we’re just too horrible.  At it’s core, it’s an accusation from Satan about ourselves, and it’s his secret weapon because he introduces it in such subtle ways that we often don’t even perceive it, and he uses it to isolate us and keep us in hiding from others and God.

How the Accuser Plants Over-Shame in Us

• Genesis 2:25 - This is God’s ideal for us, to not need to feel any shame at all because we’ve not done anything wrong nor come to believe anything is wrong with us.  And we’re going to come back to this in the end, but Satan absolutely hates this verse, and it is his mission to destroy this ideal, shame-free state of being for us.  And let’s watch how he uses his secret weapon of over-shame against Adam and Eve to isolate them from God and each other, and completely destroy their sense of belonging.
  • Genesis 3:1-5 - Usually when I preach from this passage, I emphasize Satan’s two favorite lies:  1) You can’t trust God and 2) God is holding you back from something good.  Satan is accusing God, and that’s so practical because those are the same two lies he uses on us today too.  But in Curt Thompson’s book, “The Soul of Shame,” he points out that in these accusations against God, he is also subtly making accusations against Eve too, and it’s so subtle to be almost invisible, yet he completely strips her of her sense of safety and belonging in God’s presence.
    • You see, in accusing God of lying, he’s subtly accusing Eve of being a person worth lying to.  Or at least that’s the way God views her.  So he’s not just getting her to doubt God’s truthfulness, but His love for her too.  That her own creator and Father doesn’t love her enough to tell her the truth.  Which completely shakes her foundation for belonging with Him.
    • What’s more, he says “God doesn’t want you to be like Him.”  Which is a lie because back in Genesis 1:26, when God created them, He said, “Let us make man in Our image, according to our likeness.”  In accusing God of holding back His likeness from her, he accuses Eve of not being good enough or important enough to bear God’s likeness.” In other words, “God doesn’t want someone like you representing him in the world.”
      • So ironically, she believes Satan’s sneaky, subtly poisonous insinuation that she doesn’t really belong with God, and then she ends up doing the very thing that will ensure she doesn’t belong with God by sinning against Him.  This is known as the shame cycle:  1) I don’t belong.  2) I live like I don’t belong by totally disregarding moral and social agreements.  3) My behavior now only confirms that I don’t belong, and so the cycle repeats.
        • So Eve doesn’t feel like she belongs with God, she now acts out that belief by sinning against Him, living as if she doesn’t belong with Him, and now after her sin, and Adam’s sin with her, she REALLY doesn’t feel like she belongs with Him and she and Adam hide!
          • Genesis 3:8 - Now, they should feel healthy, righteous shame because they sinned against the Lord, but remember righteous shame is meant to lead us back to the one we sinned against and who’s respect we lost to seek reconciliation.  Over-shame, on the other hand, isolates us and makes stay in hiding, and notice they aren’t just hiding behind trees, now they’re hiding behind excuses.  Instead of confessing their sin and stepping into the light, they go further into darkness and hiding and isolation and Adam says to God, “The woman you gave me did it, and the woman says the serpent you made did it!”  Their over-shame makes them so afraid to admit what they’ve done for fear of being abandoned by God, that they minimize what they did to make it sound like it wasn’t their fault.  And blaming God and each other only leads to more isolation and destroys even more of their sense of belonging, and the greatest irony of all with shame happens:  the very thing they were most afraid of, which was losing their belonging with God, they lost anyway.  Over-shame makes us hide for fear of not belonging, but it’s hiding that keeps us from belonging!  So it creates the very isolation it convinces us to avoid, and makes our fear of abandonment a reality!  Adam and Eve thought, “If we come clean, God will abandon us.  So instead we’ll hide the truth so God will stay with us, yet hiding from God and minimizing their sin is what caused them to actually lose their belonging in the Lord’s presence.
            • Genesis 3:24
• John 8:44 - One of the reasons this is such a subtle and secret weapon of Satan is because he often plants messages of over-shame in us when we’re just small children through our parents, teachers, and peers, sometimes from people who are blatantly abusive, but other times from people who are perfectly well intentioned.

- If in school you came to your parents with a 96 on a test, and their first response was always, “What happened to the other 4%?” Satan can plant the lie in us that, “You’re not a hard worker, and you don’t belong.”

- If our parents played favorites, Satan can plant the lie in us that “You’re not important, you’re not worthy of love like other people, and you don’t belong.”

- If you were bullied in school, Satan can plant the lie in us that, “You look goofy, and therefore don’t belong.”

- If your parents got divorced, Satan can plant the lie in us, “There’s something wrong with you and you don’t belong because you’re worth abandoning.”

- If you attended a church that was hyper-religious to the point of creating unrealistic standards and focusing mainly on condemnation and not much on grace, Satan can plant the lie in us that, “You’re filthy to God and therefore don’t belong.”

- If you’re a young boy trying to connect with Dad, but he tells you to go away every time you try, Satan can plant the lie in us that, “You’re not a man, and you don’t belong among in the community of men.”

- If you moved from foster home to foster home, Satan can plant the lie in us that, “You are not wanted, and therefore don’t belong.”

- If your siblings frequently responded with sarcasm to things you said, Satan can plant the lie in us that, “You're stupid, and therefore don’t belong.”

- If every time you try to help Dad with a project, he just sighs in frustration when you mess up, Satan can plant the lie in us that, “You’re incompetent, and therefore don’t belong.”

- If your parents rarely ever said the words, “I love you,” Satan can plant the lie in us that, “I’m not worthy of love, and therefore don’t belong.”

- If when you cried, parents and teachers told you to suck it up and stop being a baby, Satan can plant the lie in us that, “You’re weak and you don’t belong.”

- If you grew up with a physical or mental disability, Satan can plant the lie in us that, “You’re too different, you’re too weird and deficient, and therefore you don’t belong.”

- If you were sexually abused growing up, Satan can plant the lie in us that, “You’re worthless, and you’re just a tool to be used for other people’s pleasure, and you don’t belong.”

- There are SO many more examples of false stories Satan gets us to believe about ourselves and the stories other people believe about us and all of those examples I gave were through no fault of our own, but when we start to also add our sins into the mix, the over-shame can become even more intense, and feed into the shame cycle even more!  For instance, if someone who’s been abused believes they’re just a tool for people’s pleasure and they don’t belong, then they’re likely going to live in line with that story and get involved in all manner of sexual immorality, which only confirms to their belief that they’re just a tool for people’s pleasure and therefore they don’t belong.

- And while most of these stories are first planted in us as children, it’s possible for Satan to continue planting over-shame stories in us as adults, though typically what he does is find ways to repeat the same story as adults we came to believe as children.  So if our boss pulls us in for a performance review and we get a high score, but it’s not perfect, we may feel immense shame like when our parents said, “What about the other 4%?” and we’ll think our boss is reprimanding us and telling us we’re not good enough, and we might storm out of the room or do something to sabotage our career there because we’re interpreting his feedback on our work as another confirmation we don’t belong!

- If your parents divorced as a kid, you may have a deep fear of abandonment, so when you’re in a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend and there’s a conflict, you may assume they’re about to leave so you do whatever you can to avoid conflict so that they’ll stay.  Yet ironically, in avoiding conflict you’re not dealing with the problems between you, which makes them leave you anyway.  So the very thing you tried to prevent by hiding in shame from conflict you made happen by hiding in shame from conflict!

Results of Over-Shame

1. We Hide Behind Performance

• Genesis 3:7 - Instead of coming to God to confess their sin and bring their shame out into the open, they hid their shame and tried to cover it themselves through their own ingenuity, and we do the same thing with metaphorical fig leaves of our own.
  • Since Satan has accused us of not being good enough to belong, we can spend our whole lives trying to prove we ARE good enough through things like straight A’s, trophies, medals, awards, accolades, making tons of money, fancy titles and expense accounts, going to the most prestigious universities, marrying the prettiest girl or the handsomest guy, and even being hyper religious to make sure we keep all of God’s rules, even some extra ones, and of course none of these things are sinful in and of themselves, but they become sinful when we’re using them to prove our worth and value to God and society.  They become idols because we need them to prop us up, and we live in fear that if we lose these things, everyone will see us for who we are, that we’re just frauds who aren’t really worth anything and who don’t really belong at all.
    • Luke 10:41-42 - Sometimes over-shame is at the root of our anxiety because deep down we’re afraid we’re not good enough, smart enough, or strong enough to handle life and to keep our loved ones from leaving us, so we scramble to prove we are.  Part of Martha’s shame was healthy and righteous in that it was driven by social etiquette.  If she was hosting, it was her responsibility to provide the meal, but Jesus knew there was more going on her, a fear that she wouldn’t be good enough for Him and perhaps He might leave if she didn’t meet His standards.  Instead, Jesus invites her to stop hiding behind her performance and just come sit with Him.

2.   We Hide Behind Judgment

• Genesis 3:12-13 - Instead of facing the pain of feeling like we don’t belong, we may try to justify our belonging by judging and criticizing others.  If I can take the spotlight off me and show God and others, “Hey it’s not my fault, it was that guy’s fault.”  Or, “Okay but at least I’m not nearly as terrible as that other person.” then it keeps me in hiding and I don’t have to admit my shame to myself and God.
  • This is one of the Pharisees’ favorite things to do.  Now, I have no doubt some of the Pharisees didn’t feel any shame for the terrible things they did, like cheating their parents and widows out of money.  But Jesus saw how absolutely empty they were on the inside, and there’s no way some of them didn’t realize it, which is why they tried so hard to prove their worth to God through performance, and why they were so quick to judge others so they could feel better about their own shortcomings.
    • Not only that, but judging others creates relational distance between us and the ones we’re judging which is great because we need distance in order to hide.  If I always keep others at arm’s length through my criticism and my feelings of superiority, then they can never get close to me and find out who I really am.  That’s one of the reasons the Pharisees hated Jesus so much because He saw right through all their performance and all their judgmentalism and saw them for who they really were.  They were naked and exposed before Him and could not hide, and because they had grown so comfortable hiding in the darkness of their sin and shame, they despised the light.
      • But we can also hide our shame behind SELF-judgment.  If we can beat ourselves up enough, call ourselves miserable, horrible, worthless wretched worms, completely deserving of being abandoned and unworthy of belonging, it makes us feel like we’re facing our shame head on by punishing ourselves on God’s behalf.  But Instead of dealing with the root of why we feel we don’t belong, we just keep hammering that message deeper into our hearts and creating more over-shame.  It’s still just a way to hide.
        • Matthew 27:5 - Judas should have felt healthy, righteous shame for betraying Jesus.  He lost the respect of Jesus and his peers, and his connection with them because of his sin and he should have felt his sense of belonging threatened by his actions. But instead he gave into over-shame and believed belonging was impossible for him now, and that the best way to deal with his shame was self-judgment, but actually his suicide didn’t deal with the shame it all; it was just another way to hide.

3.   We Hide Behind Pleasure

• Proverbs 23:29-30, 35 - Addiction to alcohol perpetuates the shame cycle, because we feel sadness and isolation from the over-shame of not belonging, so we turn to alcohol to numb the pain of not belonging, but ironically we’re living like a person who doesn’t belong, and who gets in fights as people strike us and beat us up, only confirming our belief that we don’t belong, and because of it, the only recourse we feel we have is to seek another drink to hide our pain behind pleasure.  This can also happen with drugs, pornography, gluttony, sleeping around, and even with things that aren’t necessarily sinful, but just fun distractions to keep our minds off of our shame like constant vacations, watching TV for hours, becoming obsessed with our hobbies.  Any pleasure to keep our minds off the pain of not belonging, and ironically those things just isolate us even more.

Do you see the theme and the pattern of over-shame?  It’s all about hiding.  So what’s the cure for over-shame?  Well, I’m going to preach a 3rd and final lesson on this next month, because it really needs it’s own sermon to fully unpack.  But it’s the opposite of hiding, and God shows us what this looks like at the very beginning of His Word.

Genesis 2:24 - Here we see the 4-part cure for over-shame.

1) Vulnerability. This means letting people see us as we really are, weaknesses, warts, and all.  It’s a sort of emotional nakedness that completely exposes the fears, failures, and longings of our hearts.

2) Known and accepted by someone honorable despite our vulnerability.  It has to be acceptance by someone honorable, because if someone who’s just as shameful as we are accepts us, that doesn’t help.  But Adam and Eve were perfectly accepted by each other and by God despite their nakedness.  They weren’t looking at each other saying, “Hmmm you’ve put on a few pounds, I’m not sure this marriage is going to work.”  No, they were fully known and fully accepted by each other, and most importantly by God!  All of God’s provision for them in the garden sent a huge message, “You belong here with me.”

3) Belonging with someone honorable who delights in us.  They weren’t just accepted by God, God delighted in them!  When He created them, He called them “very good,” and many believe the reason God rested on the 7th day was to enjoy His creation, especially His crowning achievement of humanity on the 6th day.   

4) No fear of abandonment. They had zero thought that God would ever leave them.  These 4 things is what real, perfect love looks like.

- 1 John 4:18 - Over-shame is rooted in the fear that we’ll be punished as outcasts forever.  Yet because of what God has done for us in Christ, because of His perfect love demonstrated for us on the cross, we never have to live in fear that we don’t belong ever again

And there’s one example from our sin-cursed world that encapsulates this kind of 4-part perfect love so we can see exactly what it looks like.  It’s Mom and Dad welcoming their newborn child into the world.  When we’re born, we’re completely vulnerable, we’re literally naked, and we’re also not very presentable, we’re slimy and splotchy and sometimes our head and face is kind of a weird shape, and we’re crying and needy and weak and we may even soil ourselves, yet even in our most vulnerable state, we’re fully accepted just as we are, and not only that, but they can’t stop smiling and holding us and kissing us and assuring us that we belong with them because they delight in us, and we have zero fear that they’re going to abandon us.  We don’t have to hide our vulnerability from them for fear of rejection or abandonment, because we are completely safe in their love.

In Curt Thompson’s book, “The Soul of Shame,” he said, “We all are born into the world looking for someone looking for us, and we remain in this mode of searching for the rest of our lives.”

We’re born looking for someone to accept us and delight in us in our most vulnerable state because that’s Genesis 2:25; that’s the perfect love we were created for, but unfortunately once we move past infancy, and in some cases even as infants, Satan starts planting over-shame in us.  The accuser uses his secret weapon to get us to doubt our sense of belonging, to convince us there’s no one looking for us because we’re not worth looking for — but of course, that’s just not true.  God is looking for us, He is our true Father who sees us in our vulnerability, yet longs to accept us and delight in us and who promises…

Hebrews 13:5b - Satan was right about Joshua the high priest; his clothes were filthy because of the sin of the people, and by every right Joshua and the people shouldn’t belong with God for it.  But listen to what God does in response…

Zechariah 3:4 - Joshua is in a terribly vulnerable state, he and the people are at their worst; yet God in His perfect love accepts them at their worst, cleanses them of their shame and guilt, and exalts them to a position of honor with festal robes which were meant to be worn at a feast where God can delights in and celebrates His people.  Satan accused them of not belonging, yet God said, “No, no matter how filthy they’ve become, they absolutely belong with me.”

And He’s saying the same thing to you, so no matter what horrible things you’ve done, or what horrible things have been done to you to convince you you’ll never belong, it’s just not true.  If you come to Him in faith and you’re baptized in water, He’ll cleanse you of all your sins and in Christ, you can be born again and adopted into God’s family, which means in Christ you get to experience what it’s like to be a spiritual newborn fully accepted in your vulnerability and delighted in by your Father for all eternity.

Series: Power Passages

Service: Sun Bible Study

Type: Bible Class

Speaker: Jason Bray

Series: N/A

Service: Lord’s Supper Service

Type: Lord's Supper Talk

Speaker: Dwayne Gandy

Thomas Gets His Proof

Thomas gets a bad reputation he doesn't entirely deserve.

"Doubting Thomas" has become such a fixed phrase that we rarely stop to examine whether the label is fair. What Thomas actually said — and what Jesus actually did in response — tells a more honest and more encouraging story than the nickname suggests.

Eight Days on the Outside

The first time Jesus appeared to the assembled disciples after the resurrection, Thomas wasn't there. We aren't told why. We just know he missed it.

When the others told him what had happened — we have seen the Lord — Thomas refused to simply take their word for it. His response was precise and specific: "Unless I see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe."

Notice what he didn't say. He didn't say he doubted Jesus had ever been real, or that the resurrection was impossible in principle. He said he needed the same thing the others had already received. They had seen the wounds. They had been shown the evidence. He wanted his turn.

That's not an unreasonable position. These were his ten closest friends — people he had traveled with, eaten with, and trusted for three years. Their testimony should have carried enormous weight. But Thomas was the kind of person who needed to experience truth directly, not just receive it secondhand. God made minds like that too.

For eight days, the others kept telling him. And for eight days, Thomas held his ground.

What was Jesus doing during those eight days? The Gospel of John notes that he was doing many other signs in the presence of his disciples — things not recorded in any book. Luke writes in Acts that Jesus presented himself alive during forty days by many infallible proofs, speaking of the kingdom of God. He was not idle. He may have met with James during this time, his own brother who had not believed during his ministry and who became a pillar of the church afterward. He was appearing to people, teaching, preparing witnesses. But for those eight days, he had not appeared to Thomas.

That was not an accident.

Jesus Came to Thomas

On the eighth day, the disciples were gathered again — this time with Thomas among them. The doors were shut. And Jesus came and stood in the midst of them.

He didn't wait for Thomas to ask. He didn't look at him with disappointment or issue a rebuke before providing what was needed. He went straight to him: "Reach your finger here, and look at my hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into my side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing."

Every specific thing Thomas had asked for, Jesus offered. Unprompted. Without requiring Thomas to repeat his conditions or justify his skepticism. Jesus already knew what Thomas had said, already knew what he needed, and walked into that room ready to provide it.

We don't know whether Thomas actually touched the wounds. The text doesn't say. What it records is his response, and that response is the most complete and personal confession anywhere in the New Testament.

"My Lord and my God."

Not I now believe you are risen. Not even you are the Christ, the Son of the living God — which is Peter's great confession and a magnificent one. Thomas's confession goes further and gets more personal. My Lord. My God. The man who had demanded the most evidence ended up making the most complete confession.

That's worth sitting with for a moment. The skepticism and the confession belong to the same person. One did not cancel out the other. The rigorous demand for proof, when it was genuinely met, produced not cautious acceptance but wholehearted surrender.

Blessed Are Those Who Have Not Seen

Jesus's response to Thomas includes what sounds like a gentle correction: "Thomas, because you have seen me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

This is sometimes read as a rebuke directed specifically at Thomas, setting him apart as deficient. But look at the room. The other apostles had also believed because they had seen — Jesus had shown them his hands and his side at the first appearance. Thomas was not unique in needing visible evidence. He was simply the last to receive it.

What Jesus was pointing toward was the generation coming next. Even as he spoke those words, people in Jerusalem were already believing based on the testimony of eyewitnesses rather than their own direct experience. And the circle was going to widen — across cities, across centuries, across the whole world — until the number of those who believed without seeing would vastly outnumber those who had been in those rooms.

The evidence was always the plan. John says plainly that he wrote his Gospel so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in his name. The written accounts exist precisely because Jesus was not going to appear personally to every person who would ever need to believe. He trained eyewitnesses, and those witnesses produced testimony, and that testimony was written down, and it has been doing its work ever since.

The Others in the Room

Thomas was not the only one whose needs were being met that day.

Philip had once stood in the upper room and asked Jesus to simply show them the Father — then we'll be satisfied. He needed more evidence. Now he was standing in a room with the risen Lord, watching a fellow disciple receive exactly the kind of direct, physical proof he himself had once craved.

Nathanael — also called Bartholomew — had once responded to the news about Jesus with pointed skepticism: "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?" He came around only when Jesus demonstrated an awareness of him that transcended ordinary knowledge. He understood something about needing evidence before believing.

Those two men, of all people in that room, may have been the quickest to put their arms around Thomas afterward. We know exactly what you were feeling. We know what it is to need more before you can say yes. And we were hoping you would get what you needed, because we got what we needed.

Matthew watched the whole scene and heard Jesus's words about those who believe without seeing. He spent the rest of his life answering that challenge — writing a Gospel saturated with Old Testament references, building a case for a Jewish audience that would never see the risen Lord in person. His whole literary mission grew, at least in part, from that moment in the room.

Simon the Zealot had come to the movement with a sword in his heart — the dream of political liberation, of throwing off Roman rule by force. Watching Jesus walk through a locked door and offer his wounds to a doubting friend, Simon understood that the weapons he now carried were incomparably more powerful than anything he had imagined bringing to the fight.

Jesus met them all. In a single appearance, he addressed the specific need of every person in the room — the skeptic who needed to touch, the questioners who needed to see someone like them receive their answer, the writer who needed a mission, the revolutionary who needed a new vision of power.

What We Carry to This Table

We were not in that room. We have not seen the wounds or touched the side.

We are the people Jesus was describing when he said blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed. The Gospels were written for us. The testimony of the eyewitnesses was preserved and transmitted across twenty centuries for us. We come to this table not with lesser faith than Thomas, but with the faith Jesus said was blessed — the faith that takes hold of evidence it did not personally witness and says, with everything Thomas meant when he said it:

My Lord. My God.

That is the confession this table invites. Not a formal acknowledgment. Not a theological proposition. Something personal, something owned, something that costs the full surrender of a life.

The man who demanded the most showed us how to say it best.