Pánsá Pánsá Podcast

Guest Name:

Doreen Akiyo Yomoah

Summary:

This interview with Ms. Doreen Yomoha explores the African immigrant experience, identity, and the decision to be child-free. It offers insights into cultural challenges, personal choices, and societal expectations faced by first-generation Africans in the diaspora. While browsing on the BBC website, I came across a conversation on its podcast called Choosing to be childfree, featuring two women of African origin who have decided not to have children. Both Doreen Akiyo Yomoah and Nina Steele were the guests on the show. Steele is from Ivory Coast, and she is the founder of Nonparents.com. I tried to get both of these guests on the podcast but, I could only reach Yomoah. She agreed to come to have a conversation with me on Pánsá Pánsá podcast to present her perspective on being child-free and the mission of Childfree Africa.

Yomoah was born in Accra, Ghana, and she was raised in Tokyo and upstate New York. She has lived in Shanghai, Accra, London, Dakar, and presently in Geneva, Switzerland. Experienced writer and researcher working in international development. Skilled in report writing, policy analysis, and communications. Holder of an M.A. in peace studies from the University of Bradford and a B.A. from Michigan State University. She was committed to bringing an intersectional lens to sustainable development.In my conversation with Yomoah, we discussed her challenges/struggles of being a first-generation African immigrant child growing up in Japan, the United States, and many parts of the world she has and continues to call home.

During our conversation, we talked about Yomoah’s dual identity as an African and a person of color living in these different parts of the world. Yomoah sees herself as a “Third Culture Kid,” which means children who grew up in a culture or culture other than their parents or the country of their birth. After talking about Yomoah’s background, we jumped into the main topic of being childfree and the fundamental decision to launch such phenomenal discussion to a broader audience through blogging and interviews. As I commented during the interview, I can see her argument of being child-free because not everyone should or have the capacity of being a parent. There are differences between giving birth to a child and parenting a child. Parenting a child demands both emotional and financial responsivity and parental availability in a child's life. We also briefly talked about feminism and its meaning to diverse women from different backgrounds and differences in struggles. To learn more about Childfree Africa, please visit the website childfreeafrican.com or follow on Instagram @ childfree_africa

Key Topics:

Challenges of growing up as an African immigrant in Japan and the US

The concept of third culture kids and identity formation

The decision to be child-free and societal pressures

Cultural and religious values influencing personal choices

The evolution of feminism among women of color

Keywords

African immigrants, identity, child-free, cultural challenges, diaspora, Ghana, Japan, United States, Switzerland, feminism, societal expectations

Chapters:

01:20 Doreen Akiyo Yomoah's Background and Journey

03:34 Challenges of Growing Up as an Immigrant Child

07:00 Navigating Identity and Belonging

10:13 Conversations on Race and Identity

11:31 Understanding the Third Culture Kid Experience

13:25 Social Integration in College

15:46 Parenting Conversations and Cultural Differences

18:27 The Child-Free Choice and Its Implications

22:08 Child-Free vs. Childless: Understanding the Distinction

23:35 Navigating Societal Expectations on Parenthood

26:01 The Pressure of Cultural Norms

29:17 Finding Community in Child-Free Choices

33:39 Challenging Traditional Values and Beliefs

36:31 Understanding Feminism Across Cultures

40:47 Respecting Choices: The Child-Free Perspective

44:33 Advice for the Childless and Child-Free Aspirants

The first season of pansa pansa live podcast ended July and many of my listeners would notice that no episode was released during the month of August after 10 Episodes of engaging and informative conversations was released on this platform for the first season. I need to take a much desirable break and to prepare for next season. As many of our listeners may have noticed, my co-host Baaba has not been present during many of the recordings. Baaba has not been able to co-host with me because of her work schedule and she is also preparing to go back to school to further her education. She would join as time permits but as of now, I am going to continue to be the host of Pansa pansa podcast.    So, I welcome the audience to season two and I am looking forwards to continue to talk about uncomfortable conversation and sometimes bring open the painful truth that may be challenging for some people to absorbed.  But that is the purpose of this platform. Please stay turn for the most exciting and stimulating topics coming on season two. As I have always said that pansa pansa is normalizing conversation about uncomfortable discussion in our community. We have to continue to publicly discuss complex issues in order to shred away the stigma associated with painful dialogue.

Please subscribe and share this podcast with friends, family and your social network. Rate the podcast, write a review and let me know what you think about these conversations. You can follow also follow me on instagram @ pansa.pansa forum and visit my website @ talkpansapansa.org

When I was in graduate school pursuing my degree in public health and in one of my studies at the time, we look at the diversity of public health issues. I never considered domestic violence a public health issue until we discussed it thoroughly in one of my classes. The teaching exposed us to how domestic violence affects the lives of individuals who experience the violence. During my studies, I learned that exposure to domestic violence could have a traumatic experience, physical impairment, and mental health problems. 

Since launching this podcast, I have always wanted to address domestic violence within the African immigrant community. When Ms. Bukola Olode agreed to come on the podcast to educate our community on domestic violence, I was delighted knowing that she is a professional in the field. Bukola Olode LMSW has worked in the field of domestic violence and received several awards for her work as a domestic violence advocate. She obtained her graduate degree in social work from Fordham University in 2004 and has worked with individuals and families as a therapist. Ms. Olode is also a thriving sought-after life coach, motivational speaker, and divorce mediator. She has given several presentations on the issue of domestic violence to various audiences. She resides in New York and New Jersey with her husband and three children. 

In this episode, Olode gave a clear definition of domestic violence, and she further explained different types of domestic violence. We talked about the functions of the NYC Department of Domestic Violence and the services they provide to the victim, such as shelter, order of protection, immigration support, welfare benefits, etc. We talked about the primary and secondary victims of domestic violence. We then divert to the African immigrant community and our understanding of domestic violence. As immigrants, we may have a different definition of domestic violence according to our diverse cultural background and religious beliefs or our interpretation of spiritual value. We looked into the African Immigrant communities initial approach in addressing domestic violence, e.g., Approaching religious clergy, elders of the community, or family or relatives. Why is such system may not work, and what can we do to educate our community leaders to reach out to the domestic violence department for help. We talked about the pressure society place on women in carrying the burden of the need to marry and stay married. We clarified on quality vs. quantity of marriage life, and should we stay married for quality or quantity? As I said in my conclusion to this topic, in many cultures globally, a successful marriage is based on longevity and not on quality and growth. The longer you are married, the more honored you are, and marriage is not about inner self-transformation, how evolved and transformed the partner are to each other. The culture guides us, women, into a suffering mindset that says that a successful marriage is built upon sacrifice and compromise, and a woman must conform to that cultural norm. Women are also made to believe it is okay to stay in an unhealthy relationship for the children's sake. 

Pánsá Pánsá is normalizing a conversation about domestic violence in our community. As we publicly discuss complex issues within our community, we shred away the stigma associated with these uncomfortable dialogues. Ms. Bukola Olode provides a wealth of knowledge to the audience and members of our community regarding this vital subject on recognizing domestic violence and the services available. She provided quality and extensive advice to Africans in the diaspora dealing with domestic violence or a family member who may be going through such an ordeal. If you or someone you know is experiencing violence, there is a domestic violence 24 hours hotline @ 1-800-942-6906 and there is further information on the website https://www.nyscadv.org/find-help/program-director

In 2016, I read a book titled Black Man in a White Coat: A doctor's reflections on Race and Medicine. In this book, Dr. Tweedy, an African American, detailed his experience as a black man in medicine from Medical school to residency and practicing medicine as a psychiatrist. Dr. Tweedy dealt with both in your face racism and prejudice to conscious and unconscious biases. Since I read this book, I always have been interested in discussing with a member of the African immigrant community or their children in medicine about their experience. I was so grateful that Ms. Olode, featured on this podcast in a later episode, who introduced me to Dr. Giwa. I wanted to know what it is like for an African immigrant or a child of an immigrant navigating through the field of medicine.

Dr. Giwa is a Nigerian American raised in Brooklyn, NY. He attended the University of Notre Dame as a Pre-med and Spanish major for college and went to the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine for medical school. He completed his Pediatrics Residency at the University of Chicago Comer Children's Hospital. He did his Pediatric Endocrinology Fellowship at Johns Hopkins Children's Center and currently works there as a physician-scientist. His research interests include bench and clinical Type 1 Diabetes (T1D) research. He also works as the Global Medical Monitor managing international clinical trials to treat people with Achondroplasia.

In addition, he enjoys mentoring and service work doing international missions’ trips, participating in mentoring programs, and sponsoring a local Head Start school for low-income families with organizations such as the Association of Nigerian Physicians in the Americas (ANPA) and the Notre Dame Alumni Association. He has received several awards for this work from his alma mater and medical institution for service and leadership. 

In this episode, Dr. Giwa and I talked about his childhood experience and growing up in an Africa immigrant home. We talked about balancing between the two heritages, Africa and America, as well as black identity. Part of our discussion also focuses on navigating through academic life and social life in college, medical school and how his cultural upbringing benefits or hinders his fitting into the dominant culture in the spaces he finds himself. We talked about three major areas of specialty acceptable by Nigerian and many other African immigrants’ parents- Doctors, Lawyers, and engineers-should parents choose what their children study in college. We focus on Barriers faced by Afro-descendant students in medicine. What are the barriers for blacks and Hispanic students from becoming a doctor? 

After officially becoming a doctor and as a black male, we dived into conversation on some of the structural racism Dr. Giwa may have experience as a doctor. These experiences may stem from the administration, the patients, and outside his practice. How has he balanced his profession with mental warfare in a system of implicit biases and racism? In the closing. Dr. Giwa gave excellent advice to aspiring students interested in medicine and parents of our community who may have aspiring students who may want to study medicine. Dr. Giwa’s importantly advised parents they should refrain from forcing their children into a specialty that may be difficult for their children or may not be their interest. Dr. Giwa emphasized the importunacy of family and community support for the children's career choices within our community. As we usually said on this forum, when we publicly discuss complex issues within our community, we are shredding away the stigma associated with uncomfortable dialogues, primarily focusing on race & immigrants experience. Dr. Giwa shared his experience as a black man in medicine. He talked about the rewards of becoming a doctor and the barriers faced by Afro-descendant students in medicine.

During my interview with Nyemade Biowu in my last episode, she introduced me to Dauda's book while discussing traumatic childhood experiences. I decided to invite Duada to the podcast for conversation. The stories in the book reflect Pánsá Pánsá mission on talking about uncomfortable conversation. The self-published book Ba-Ya Play Cook: An Anthology of Short Stories: The book is a collection of true-life stories from Liberia, West African. Dauda uses everyday situations to discuss the prevalence of rape, molestation, and sexual abuse of children in Liberia.

Apart from the recently published book, Dauda is also a blogger, and we discussed one of her write up called Wakanda Is Not Real. Facts on Liberia and 10 Reasons To Travel. In this essay, she talked about how history said Liberia was formed by freed slaves from America in the early 1800s even though history shows that there were first inhabitants as early as the 12th century who initially occupied the land. The returnees, who were African Americans, mistreated the natives, established superiority over the natives, and emulated their prior oppressors' behavior in America.

We further discussed Duada's traumatic childhood experience during the Liberian war and her family's migration to America. We discussed what the experience was like as a child exposed to the violence of the time relating to psychological effects and emotional trauma and how she and her family coped with the traumatic experience. We talked about her struggle after migration when Dauda and her family eventually settled, and we dived into the challenges/struggles of being a first-generation African immigrant child. She said, "most of my bullying in America was by African-Americans," who challenged her blackness and used demeaning phase towards her heritage. Dauda later gains confidence about who she is, and as she said, she is "unapologetically African", and she has grown to embrace her African heritage. In a quote from her essay, "What is ironic is that these same people who would make fun of me now ask me to bring them back African prints".

Duada lives in the hyphen of Liberia and America. Along with her family, she relocated to the US during the Liberian civil unrest. She is a full-time international development Ph.D. student and a public health master's student specializing in health education. Dauda is passionate about storytelling as she firmly believes in changing Africa's narrative by giving Africans the opportunity to tell their own stories. In her spare time, she shares stories online to counter the narrative of Africa as a jungle. As Dauda said, I am a headwrap enthusiast and uses African print to bring awareness to my work and culture. She can be found online IG: @Zuleka and twitter: Zulekatweets

In 2020, I came across Nyemade Boiwu through a podcast called Stigma and I was impressed by her openness in discussing mental health and the stigma associated with taking medication. The podcast title was called “It’s okay if you need Meds to be okay.” I love the positive energy and the positivity she carried out throughout the interview. I immediately started following her on Instagram and I send her a message on the interview and my wish to engage further in an open forum in the future.

Nyemade Boiwu, aka That African Butterfly, is an award-winning writer, speaker and digital content strategist. She has made a career in corporate America working for a top-leading bank. In her free time, she lends her expertise to the non-profit sector to support others. She also strives to use her talent for communication to raise awareness about mental health and other various social issues. She aims to encourage individuals to see things from the perspective of others. Nyemade Boiwu also a community presenter for NAMI Delaware, the Executive Director for Every Man Counts, and the Program Director for Empower & Educate.

Boiwu migrated from Liberia to the United States with her mother at the age of 5. The family relocated due to the civil war in Liberia that took place between 1989 to 1996. During our conversation, Boiwu talked about growing up in upstate New York in a predominantly white community, her challenges, and her adaptation to the community. She later relocated to Florida to attend college. She is presently a resident of Delaware.

In this interview, we discussed Boiwu’s childhood experience and her growing up in an Africa immigrant home. We talked about balancing between the two heritages, Africa and America, as well as black identity. We talked about navigating through academic life and social life in college and how her cultural upbringing benefits or hinder fitting into the dominant culture in the spaces she finds herself in.

Most of the discussion focused on mental health and mental illness within African immigrant community, relating to stigma, lack of awareness, and barriers to appropriate care. Boiwu talked about her own struggle with depression and suicidal attempts at an early age. She spoke about her family as an effective support system throughout her journey, and most especially, her mother is there for her when she needs someone to listen to her or when she needs advice.

That African Butterfly Nyemade Boiwu is a powerful voice speaking up and normalizing open conversation on mental illness and mental health within the community. She an excellent example of someone diagnosed with mental illness, and she is thriving, blooming, prospering. When we publicly discuss complex issues within our community, we are shredding away the stigma associated with these uncomfortable dialogues. Boiwu provided a wealth of knowledge to the audience regarding these vital subjects on mental health wellness and mental health awareness in this conversation.

To contact Nyemade Boiwu, email her @ [email protected], follow her on Instagram @ thatafricanbutterfly and her website @ https://linkte.ee/thatafricanbutterfly.

Ms. Senait Admassu, MSW, is the founder and the president of the African Communities Public Health Coalition (ACPHC). Mr. Alpha Timbo, MSW/LCSW, is the clinical director. These two pioneers have dedicated their careers to changing lives within the African Immigrants community in Los Angeles, California, through mental health advocacy and providing culturally responsive services to address mental health and mental wellness to members of the African immigrant community in Los Angeles, California.  According to Ms. Admassu, the organization was created to address the growing concerns that resulted from an increase in suicide incidents in most immigrant communities in LA, specifically in the Ethiopian community. Even though ACPHC also provides other services such as immigration services, outreach & education, case management, leadership development, etc. This dialogue focuses on mental health services offered by the organization.

We dived into mental illness stigma within the African immigrant community during our discussion, and we further focus on the cultural and religious values that continue to perpetuate stigma towards people suffering from mental illness. We talked about how most African immigrants continue to carry on the same cultural beliefs and religious values. The beliefs tend to be the barrier that continues to prevent us from seeking help for ourselves and our love once when it comes to mental illness. For a child who may show symptoms of mental illness at an early stage, we may not consider it as an illness but rather label it as the child is out of control. Ms. Senait and Mr. Timbo talked about how ACPHC is helping in easing the stigma towards mental health through culturally sensitive counseling and education the program provides. They also work with the religious leaders within the community through education and awareness. The program also assists in securing medical coverage for those who may not have insurance and need psychiatric services and medication management through community networks with other agencies.

African Communities Public Health Coalition (ACPHC) gives people a voice to speak up, and the organization is normalizing open conversations on mental illness and mental health within our community. As we publicly discuss complex issues within our community, we are shredding away the stigma associated with these uncomfortable dialogues. Ms. Senait Admassu and Mr. Alpha Timbo provided a wealth of knowledge to the audience regarding this vital subject on mental health wellness and mental illness within the African Immigrants Community.

To learn more about (ACPHC), please visit the website @  https://africancoalition.org/, [email protected] and the phone contact (213) 909 0985

In this episode, we are honored to have a special guest from Nigeria, Ms. Hauwa Ojeifo. Ms. Ojeifo a former investment banker now the founder of She Writes Woman, a non-profit organization focusing on educating and advocating for people living with mental illness in Nigeria. Her organization’s mission is to eradicate the stigma placed on people with mental illness. Ms. Ojeifo is a mental health advocate, a coach, a role model for young men and women in Nigeria and throughout the diaspora within Africa and hopefully Africans living abroad.

Hauwa Ojeifo is an excellent example of someone who was diagnosed with mental illness, and she is thriving, blooming, prospering. She continues to help others in Nigeria suffering from mental illness, promoting mental health awareness and destigmatizing mental illness through her personal experience. In this dialogue, she advises Africans in the diaspora dealing with mental illness or those who may have a family member diagnosed with mental illness?

In this episode, we discussed Mental health and mental illness in Nigeria and sexual abuse. We talked about societal stigma towards people who have mental illness and if the stigma more common among the younger or older generation in Nigeria. We further focus on the cultural and religious values that continue to perpetuate this stigma. We discussed the accessibility of mental health care in Nigeria, recognition & diagnoses, psychiatric care, access to medication (fake medication Vs. authentic medication & affordability), counseling, and qualified professional counselors.

For Africans in the diaspora being in America, Europe, and other parts of Africa, we talked about how most continue to carry on the same cultural beliefs and religious values. The beliefs tend to be the barrier that continues to prevent us from seeking help for ourselves and our love once when it comes to mental illness. For a child who may show symptoms of mental illness at an early stage, we may not consider it as an illness but rather label it as the child is out of control. We may dismiss depression as something we pray away or associate depression with poverty as we believe back home. E.g., You have light, water, food, and so why would you say that you are depressed.

Regarding sexual abuse and assaults on women and children in Nigeria, we talked about the progress or lack of progress in prosecuting the offender or challenging the stigma associated with the victim of the act. Women, children, and even men suffer from sexual abuse, but men and the victimization of boys are not talked about due to the stigma associated with the homosexual act.

To contact She Writes Woman and to support the organization for the fantastic work they are doing, please log on to the website @ shewriteswoman.org. Please find this option at bit.ly/donatetosww, bit.ly/givetoSWW

Dr. Yvette Butler – Yeboah, an African American sister who is the founder and executive director of GapBuster.Inc, a non-profit organization that focuses on the empowerment of our youth within our community. The program engages in Leadership and Community Outreach. GapBuster. Inc is also intercontinental, and in 2019, she opened a center in Ghana. Dr. Yeboah also hosts a live show every Friday called American Africans United. 

This discussion focuses on race as it relates to Black Experience and race as it relates to African immigrant experience. When it comes to racial identity, Dr. Butler is identified as an African American. As an immigrant, I identified as a Nigerian American that recognizes my two heritages Nigerian (cultural identity to be specific Yoruba) & Black American related to the race the institution placed on Dr. Butler and me. For African immigrants, we have to navigate between these two worlds, the world of blackness and the world of immigrants. The black experience is historically unique, but the black experience is foreign to African immigrants. Historically, African nations were colonized by Europe, African immigrants in America do not know what it is like to be black in a racialized society before migrating to America. We never live in a racialized society.

Dr. Butler talked about Black Experience as it relates to developing unique black dialect, religion, music, food ETC and how these were developed after years of losing their original culture. We further discussed “The talks” regarding racial struggles and educating African American children about racial cues or signs when contacting authorities such as law enforcement, educators, or in corporate America.

We discussed the Reality of Racism and its institution. Does the reality of racism exempt African immigrants from these experiences even though we reside within the same community as other people of color, exposed to the same low-quality education, housing, and every other aspect of inequality experienced by African Americans? We concluded on an approach to finding commonality within our community and acknowledge our differences. 

To learn more about Dr. Butler and GapBuster, please go to her website @ www.GapBuster.org