Papa's Basement

Did someone say Three Men and a Baby reboot?

We attempt to bring humor to the following sad topics this week:

-Ellicott City has been destroyed by flood for the second time in two years. Yet people still want to remain. That will end well.

-Roseanne's horrid Twitter schtick finally costs her the Roseanne reboot, getting hundreds of people associated with the show fired because she had to play Pizzagate gumshoe.

-A DC-area comedy giant and personal hero of Travis Dorward's, Dylan Meyer, passed away this week unexpectedly.

Follow this episode's cast on Twitter!

John Papageorgiou - @PapasBasement

Travis Dorward - @TravisDorward

Alex Wasdawhl - @WizardOfWazzz

If you truly love the show and realize money talks more than kind words (fine, we like kind words, too), donate on a monthly basis to the show via our Patreon. Some of the rewards aren't bad! Or buy a shirt at Redbubble so people you walk past in the mall can ask you what a Papa's Basement is.

Click here to listen to the latest episode of Papa's Basement in your browser or here to open and listen in iTunes (you can also use the embedded player below). And, if you want to see our faces that very clearly are fit for radio, you can watch videos of our episodes on YouTube

I don't know how we'll ever get to the bottom of why a kid with a name like "Dimitrios Pagourtzis," who was forced to dance in garb that would be considered too effeminate for ballet, felt out of place in the heart of Texas.

A Greek school shooter. Finally, a subject I'm qualified to discuss. I'll make this short and sweet: Being raised ethnically Greek outside of the two Greek neighborhoods still left in this country sucks. Your name is weird. Your food is weird (it's not all baklava and yogurt, you ignoramuses). Your language is weird. Your church uses more incense than a Turkish brothel. Frankly, I'm shocked this is the first time one of my people flipped. To paraphrase Chris Rock, I'm not saying he should have killed them...but I understand.

Not only do I do the important psychological work of explaining, finally, what definitively drove a school shooter to commit his heinous act, but Tea Cup and I also clue you in on Netflix's 13 Reasons Why's second season, the most addictive show you probably still aren't watching. It all wraps up in a nice leitmotif of high schooler death. And that's why this show is, shall we say, an acquired taste.

Follow this episode's cast on Twitter!

John Papageorgiou - @PapasBasement

Travis Dorward - @TravisDorward

If you truly love the show and realize money talks more than kind words (fine, we like kind words, too), donate on a monthly basis to the show via our Patreon. Some of the rewards aren't bad! Or buy a shirt at Redbubble so people you walk past in the mall can ask you what a Papa's Basement is.

Click here to listen to the latest episode of Papa's Basement in your browser or here to open and listen in iTunes (you can also use the embedded player below). And, if you want to see our faces that very clearly are fit for radio, you can watch videos of our episodes on YouTube

When a guy who shot a bunch of women and then himself because he couldn't get laid looks better than you, life is a tough road to hoe.

We talk about "incels," aka the involuntarily celibate, who have gained notoriety for producing a spate of recent murderers, among them Elliot Rodger. Is it bad for a group of guys not getting laid to rage out together as long as that rage is only turned inward? And, for those of us who have touched the genitals of another partner, we talk the perks of being a bandwagon sports fan (go Washington Capitals!...until they lose), and when it's appropriate to ask someone out in a work situation.

Follow this episode's cast on Twitter!

John Papageorgiou - @PapasBasement

Howard Flood - @BasementHoward

Travis Dorward - @TravisDorward

If you truly love the show and realize money talks more than kind words (fine, we like kind words, too), donate on a monthly basis to the show via our Patreon. Some of the rewards aren't bad! Or buy a shirt at Redbubble so people you walk past in the mall can ask you what a Papa's Basement is.

Click here to listen to the latest episode of Papa's Basement in your browser or here to open and listen in iTunes (you can also use the embedded player below). And, if you want to see our faces that very clearly are fit for radio, you can watch videos of our episodes on YouTube

Shawn Westfall, no doubt telling the "a naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the other" joke from The Breakfast Club.

Shawn Westfall, founder of the Unified Scene Theater in Washington, D.C. has taught me improv for a while now and has also come to be a friend (meaning we hang out, bitch about the injustices of life, and then part ways, somehow more bitter than we were before our conversation).

Shawn's theater is going on year three, and he lets loose about the ups and downs of owning a comedy establishment in a city with a smaller entertainment industry like D.C., as well as why the arts are beautiful (but you should probably just go into plumbing, instead). It's a slightly different type of Papa's Basement episode, recorded on a travel kit at Shawn's house and with more of a informal vibe, but I hope you enjoy. If you want to chase your dreams or you are cursing yourself for doing exactly that, this episode has you covered.

John Papageorgiou - @PapasBasement

Shawn Westfall - @ShawnWestfall

Unified Scene Theater - @UnifiedSceneDC

If you truly love the show and realize money talks more than kind words (fine, we like kind words, too), donate on a monthly basis to the show via our Patreon. Some of the rewards aren't bad! Or buy a shirt at Redbubble so people you walk past in the mall can ask you what a Papa's Basement is.

Click here to listen to the latest episode of Papa's Basement in your browser or here to open and listen in iTunes (you can also use the embedded player below). And, if you want to see our faces that very clearly are fit for radio, you can watch videos of our episodes on YouTube

“So, Thanos…you’re now omnipotent. What are you going to do with all that power?”“I dunno. Haven’t really thought about it. Probably sit in my space chair for a while. It’s got great lumbar support.”“Oh, yeah, that’s super important in a chair.”“Yup.”“Yuuup. Hey, is it cool if I take off early today? I figure I’m not really needed at the moment, what with you omnipotent and all. And, if I leave now, I could get home before the game starts.”“Sure, not a problem. Are the Cavs up?”“Yeah, but they won’t win it all. LeBron has no one this year.”
“That’s a shame. After what he did for that city, for management to set him up to fail like that. Well, I’ll just be here. Be here in my space chair.”“Thanks, boss! See you tomorrow!”“Later, Jerry! Give my best to Linda and the kids!”

Marvel's Infinity War is soon to be the highest-grossing film of all time (and probably will be by the time you read this). And, if there's one refrain I've heard online, it's this: "Please don't spoil the film for me." The problem is, Infinity War is the least-spoilable movie that has maybe ever been made. I'm not saying that for comedic effect, either: It really can't be spoiled. Now, to explain that, would require mild spoilers...but then, once you heard those spoilers, you'd realize why the movie can't be spoiled. If you're confused by my logic on this one, just listen to this latest episode, which also covers the NFL draft, and it will all make sense. (Please note: The episode has spoilers. Also note: This episode was conceived of simply so I could type the words "spoil/spoiled/spoiler" eight times.)

John Papageorgiou - @PapasBasement

Travis Dorward - @TravisDorward

If you truly love the show and realize money talks more than kind words (fine, we like kind words, too), donate on a monthly basis to the show via our Patreon. Some of the rewards aren't bad! Or buy a shirt at Redbubble so people you walk past in the mall can ask you what a Papa's Basement is.

Click here to listen to the latest episode of Papa's Basement in your browser or here to open and listen in iTunes (you can also use the embedded player below). And, if you want to see our faces that very clearly are fit for radio, you can watch videos of our episodes on YouTube

Oh, Dwight: Outbursts like that will get you killed!

A Quiet Place is a fantastic film that most of the show's cast, by this point, has seen. Those same members of the cast are also huge fans of The Office and, for those of us that are, it's impossible to see John Krasinski on screen and not be reminded of his Office character, Jim Halpert. Which got our minds to thinking: Which Office characters would be able to hack it in the quiet world of A Quiet Place? Which would die quickly? Dwight? Stanley Hudson? MOES?! It goes on and on. So, if you're curious about the film, a fan of the show, both, neither, a duck, whatever, listen.

Follow this episode's cast on Twitter!

John Papageorgiou - @PapasBasement

Howard Flood - @BasementHoward

Travis Dorward - @TravisDorward

If you truly love the show and realize money talks more than kind words (fine, we like kind words, too), donate on a monthly basis to the show via our Patreon. Some of the rewards aren't bad! Or buy a shirt at Redbubble so people you walk past in the mall can ask you what a Papa's Basement is.

Click here to listen to the latest episode of Papa's Basement in your browser or here to open and listen in iTunes (you can also use the embedded player below). And, if you want to see our faces that very clearly are fit for radio, you can watch videos of our episodes on YouTube

Please be real please be real please be real.

This episode is about two things: 1. my new favorite website, Reddit's Dead Bedrooms, where anyone that has been or is currently in a relationship where there is zero sex can gripe to a friendly audience, and 2. my favorite, unintentionally hilarious sound clip, which I play roughly 50 times throughout this episode because screw you, that's why.

Follow this episode's cast on Twitter!

John Papageorgiou - @PapasBasement

Howard Flood - @BasementHoward

Travis Dorward - @TravisDorward

If you truly love the show and realize money talks more than kind words (fine, we like kind words, too), donate on a monthly basis to the show via our Patreon. Some of the rewards aren't bad! Or buy a shirt at Redbubble so people you walk past in the mall can ask you what a Papa's Basement is.

Click here to listen to the latest episode of Papa's Basement in your browser or here to open and listen in iTunes (you can also use the embedded player below). And, if you want to see our faces that very clearly are fit for radio, you can watch videos of our episodes on YouTube

"I'm a genius. And blind. And not a soup prostitute."-Travis Dorward, lying to a potential Tinder date

Comedians Travis Dorward and Jesse Robinson are in studio and talking about the biggest lies they've ever busted out on their Tinder matches. Mind you, these aren't lies to get them laid: No, Travis apparently is doing so well with the ladies, that he can piss all over every connection he's made via the app, convincing one woman that he's a Mensa-level genius and another that he's Ray Charles-level blind. The conversations with these two are people are incredible, and we read them on-air, with Jesse playing the part of the women involved.

I'm also obsessed with deceased (white) rapper Lil Peep lately, because it's normal for a 37-year-old man to relate to the music of a 21-year-old that overdosed on pills last year, and ask the millennial posse that I have in my studio: Have the kids accepted white rappers as the equals of black rappers? Have black folks lost any music that is theirs and theirs alone? Being the cultural ambassadors that they are, we get to the bottom of the matter, and the answer will shock you. Or not. Depends. It's a great episode with Jesse working his usual impression magic. Enjoy!

Follow this episode's cast on Twitter!

John Papageorgiou - @PapasBasement

Travis Dorward - @TravisDorward

Jesse Robinson - @JesseRobinson94

If you truly love the show and realize money talks more than kind words (fine, we like kind words, too), donate on a monthly basis to the show via our Patreon. Some of the rewards aren't bad! Or buy a shirt at Redbubble so people you walk past in the mall can ask you what a Papa's Basement is.

Click here to listen to the latest episode of Papa's Basement in your browser or here to open and listen in iTunes (you can also use the embedded player below). And, if you want to see our faces that very clearly are fit for radio, you can watch videos of our episodes on YouTube

Travis Dorward allowed unspeakable acts to be performed upon him in order to earn this soup. And, yet, the boy's grinning ear to ear. Soup on, Travis!

First, the good: There are still helpful people in this world, and veteran and DC-area comedian Dan Kaufman is one of them. He's come in studio to promote a stand-up show he's hosting April 21st at Summers in Arlington, VA to benefit his charity, Vets Float, as well as a sister show April 19th in San Diego.

Now, the bad: The reaction to Tuesday's Roseanne reboot was fantastically fractured on Twitter, with liberals and conservatives in turn celebrating and decrying the show. I go through some of the more idiotic tweets I saw while watching the premiere, and also give my thoughts on what the show did right and wrong.

And, finally, the idiotic: Most episodes of this show revolve around finding a funny moment or two and then riding them into the ground so hard they emerge in China. This week is no different, and we roll with the concept of our beloved studio bear, Travis Dorward, selling his body for soup. It sounds stupid and I feel like an idiot typing it and attempting to explain it, but it's funny if you hear it in the context of the episode. Funny the first 20 times, at least. Enjoy. Or, as Travis would say after selling himself for his most recent warm bowl, "bon appétit."

Follow this episode's cast on Twitter!

John Papageorgiou - @PapasBasement

Travis Dorward - @TravisDorward

Dan Kaufman - @DannyJayRico

Dan's Vets Float Charity - @VetsFloat

If you truly love the show and realize money talks more than kind words (fine, we like kind words, too), donate on a monthly basis to the show via our Patreon. Some of the rewards aren't bad! Or buy a shirt at Redbubble so people you walk past in the mall can ask you what a Papa's Basement is.

Click here to listen to the latest episode of Papa's Basement in your browser or here to open and listen in iTunes (you can also use the embedded player below). And, if you want to see our faces that very clearly are fit for radio, you can watch videos of our episodes on YouTube

Even if you do opt for kids, there's no guarantee they're in the cards for you.

We were treated this week to a visit in studio from Howard's awesome infant daughter, Josie. And I love that kid...but after she spent most of her time behind the mic sleeping, crying and taking dumps (like father, like daughter), I wondered: Are kids worth it? (Actually, it's a question I've pondered for a while, but baby shit wafting through the studio triggered me to discuss it then and there.) Listen to the fight for the lives of my unborn children, as well as the definitive answer to whether or not Bruno Mars is a cultural appropriator, on the latest episode of Papa's Basement.

Follow this episode's cast on Twitter!

John Papageorgiou - @PapasBasement

Howard Flood - @BasementHoward

Ajay Atayee - @AjayAtayee

If you truly love the show and realize money talks more than kind words (fine, we like kind words, too), donate on a monthly basis to the show via our Patreon. Some of the rewards aren't bad! Or buy a shirt at Redbubble so people you walk past in the mall can ask you what a Papa's Basement is.

Click here to listen to the latest episode of Papa's Basement in your browser or here to open and listen in iTunes (you can also use the embedded player below the ad). And, if you want to see our faces that very clearly are fit for radio, you can watch videos of our episodes on YouTube