Hello Paper Cuts listener! We all miss the good old show. Our brand new podcast CRIME SCENE is very different… but we thought you might like a taster.

Every week on CRIME SCENE, ex-Met Police Commissioner Bernard Hogan-Howe and former Mirror editor Alison Phillips lift the lid on how criminal investigations really work. In our debut episode: The shooting of an innocent nine-year-old girl in Dalston in 2024 laid bare bitter rivalries between London’s armed gangs. Are police they fighting a losing battle against guns in the Capital?

Want to know more? Hear the full episode here and subscribe for new episodes every Thursday.

Presented by Bernard Hogan-Howe and Alison Phillips. Audio production by Tom Taylor. Music by Simon Williams. Produced by Managing Editor Jacob Jarvis and Group Editor Andrew Harrison. Executive Producer: Martin Bojtos. Thanks to Helen Purvis at Knight Ayton Management. CRIME SCENE is a Podmasters Production

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: We say goodbye to Paper Cuts as the Daily Star crowns Rachel Reeves the next “lettuce.” Kate Lister adopts a new philosophy over at The i, so Miranda and Gráinne are ready to embrace the “let them” theory. Finally – at The Mail, an anonymous reader is worried about his wife’s fascination with pegging – so we've brought in Jonn to offer his sage-like wisdom on the subject.

Miranda Sawyer is joined by a BAFTA nominated comedy writer Gráinne Maguire and journalist and pegging enthusiast Jonn Elledge. 

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Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Tom Taylor. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Metro lists some of the most shocking moments from kids’ TV staple Blue Peter. Meanwhile, Gail’s Bakery is taking over the bougie high streets of the UK, does yours qualify? Plus, The Daily Mail explains why kids are so badly behaved and yes, it involves their past lives, of course.

Her Royal Highness Miranda Sawyer is joined by some elite guests, including Baron Jacob Jarvis, Lady Alex von Tunzelmann, Countess Gráinne Maguire, and Electress Jan Ravens.

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com 

Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Miranda is giddy to discover one final nutty column from Liz Jones in the Daily Mail. Meanwhile, Alex is concerned about the state of middle-aged men, as Stig Abell and Bryan Johnson recount their mid-life crises in The Times. Plus – Gráinne is shocked to learn that the fashion world isn’t actually woke, as The Telegraph cheers on the return of fur at fashion week.

Miranda Sawyer is joined by historian and wannabe boffin Alex von Tunzelmann, and BAFTA-nominated writer and host of The Way They Were, Gráinne Maguire.

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com 

Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Musk hogs the glory as the stranded NASA astronauts finally return home but Jan notices that The Mail is only focused on one thing: their looks! Meanwhile, a journo at The Guardian is having an identity crisis over her ‘problematic’ blonde hair, and Miranda contemplates her 40 years as a bleach blonde. Plus, Jarv takes notes as The Times shares life lessons from a well-adjusted, normal human being: Gwyneth Paltrow.

Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedian and the woman of 1,000 voices, Jan Ravens, along with Podmasters' resident cheeky chappy and host of American Friction, Jacob Jarvis.

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com 

Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Tom Taylor. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: We’ve got the Glasto lineup, and we are sick of the ‘next big thing’ and ready to embrace Rod Stewart. Meanwhile, The Times has a slightly patronising guide to St. Patrick’s Day, so Grainne Maguire has created her own Riverdance-inspired itinerary. Plus – Fashion Week may be over, but The Guardian has some cost-effective ways to look en vogue.

Miranda Sawyer is joined by an elite selection of Paper Cuts regulars, including Coco Khan, Jacob Hawley, Natasha Devon, Jason Hazeley, Jonn Elledge and Anniki Sommerville. 

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com 

Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Daily Mail has published a salacious account of an affair between Liz Truss and some Tory bloke. If you listen closely, you can hear the rage in Natasha’s voice. Meanwhile, The Guardian has gone White Lotus crazy and has published a wonderful column on the power of gossiping, which Grainne fully endorses. Plus – Miranda has found a brilliant piece in The Times that lifts the lid on the petty ways in which chefs fight back against bad reviews.

Miranda Sawyer is joined by host of LBC’s Saturday night show Natasha Devon and BAFTA nominated comedian Gráinne Maguire.  

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com 

Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Times has Trump’s threats to Putin front and centre as the President pushes hard in peace negotiations – and Stuart feels conflicted for hoping Trump's bully boy tactics work. Meanwhile, The Guardian exposes Gen Z’s sneaky new office trick: 'taskmasking' but back in Miranda’s day, that was simply called 'bunking off.' Plus – The i’s resident sexpert Kate Lister tests out the viral bra with built-in nipples and Coco thinks this daring trend might just be a total game changer.

Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist and host of Pod Save the UK Coco Khan plus we welcome stand up comedian and host of the Some Laughs podcast Stuart MacPherson.  

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com 

Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Tom Taylor. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Daily Mail is profiling the rich and famous Americans moving to the UK to escape Trump... but Jason and Jonn think the story may have some holes. Meanwhile, Coco, Miranda, and Jacob reminisce about happier times on the football field, as The i profiles a dad conflicted by his new role as a U12 ref.

Miranda Sawyer is joined by Jonn Elledge, Jacob Hawley, Jason Hazeley, and the undisputed queen of fish trivia, Coco Khan.

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com 

Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Robin Leeburn. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Mirror is the only front page to mark the five year anniversary of Covid. Jason can’t quite get their head around the government's baffling response to the pandemic. Meanwhile, Sarah Vine at The Daily Mail has gone ‘fat jab’ mad, so Jonn takes a look at some of the most baffling columns around the weight loss drug. Plus – The Guardian looks at the romantasy revolution and Miranda questions if she would be happier with a beastly beau. 

Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist and the Messiah of the YIMBYs Jonn Elledge and comedic writer and man about town Jason Hazeley.  

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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com 

Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Robin Leeburn. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production

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