Parenting Decoded

Kids are self-centered from the get-go, no doubt about it. We have to teach them to be grateful for all that they have, all that we give them.  But, how on earth do we do that when there's so much taking and so little giving going on around us? 
 
First, I want to talk about entitlement – what it is and how it can grow out of control.  Then I’ll go over ideas on how to nurture an attitude of gratitude in your home.

Beware of these entitlement issues in your home:
1.    Giving instant gratification

2.    Rewards are expected­

3.    Boundaries are not respected

4.    Life is supposed to be “Fair”

5.    Providing constant entertainment

Try some of these ideas on how to grow an attitude of gratitude instead: 

1. Stop complaining
2. Reframe things in the positive 
3. Teach delayed gratification
4. Teach the value of hard work
5. Set healthy boundaries and say NO
6. Teach kids about money
7. Do a charity project
8. Expand your family's cultural experiences
9. Practice acts of kindness
10. Use gratitude in your daily conversations
11. Don't give rewards all the time
12. Limit gifts
13. Donate
14. Write Thank You Notes

VIEW FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Are you having trouble deciding whether to give in to your child's request to quit an activity?  Feeling like you might be raising a kid to be a quitter if you do ?  Take a listen to help you navigate this touchy subject!

It seems that many parents have to cross the threshold of their child wanting to quit an activity.  It could be piano, basketball, soccer, violin, clarinet, tutoring, gymnastics, karate, whatever.  Sometimes it's just private lessons that only impact your child.  Other times, quitting impacts a whole a team which adds a dimension of guilt either by your child or maybe you especially if you’re the coach and your child no longer wants to play. In this podcast we’re going to talk about things to consider when running up against this issue in your own home then we will go over some real-life situations to make all a little more real. 

I just want to start out saying that the reason this is so tough is because there IS NO RIGHT ANSWER.  Yep, you really have to take lots of things into consideration, it's not a one-stop-shop. 

TRANSCRIPT OF EPISODE

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Our kids are smart.  They really know how to manipulate us into getting what they want – crying, whining, having tantrums, giving us the silent treatment.  It can be overwhelming.  In my last podcast we were learning how to use choices early to avoid power struggles from the get-go.  In this podcast we’re going to follow along that positive path by using another technique that is a companion to choices – setting boundaries and limits.  

Kids to better knowing the rules.  Here are the guidelines to follow that I cover in this podcast: 
1 - Define the boundaries
2 -  Keep them positive
3 - Have consequences
4 - Be consistent 
5 - Be reasonable 
6 - Be calm and loving

FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Do you feel like you’re always battling your child?   You tell them to do something and you immediately get a “no” followed by whining and complaining or outright defiance?  A simple request that turns into a war is enough to send us over the edge sometimes.  

In this podcast I talk about how to avoid power struggles by using a secret weapon -- Choices!  When used BEFORE battles start choices can be super effective. 

If you kids are young, using playful choices when you know things might be difficult for them like transitioning from one location or activity to another.  When your kids get older using choices can help increase independence and give them control that they really crave.

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www.facebook.com/groups/parentingdecoded/

Read the whole TRANSCRIPT on my website. 

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

I'm in California where parents are going through setting up and managing distanced learning in their homes since almost no schools are doing in-person learning. 

This podcast will cover these areas:
1 - Physical LEARNING AREA - how to organize it, get rid of distractions, provide a quiet area to focus, how and when to charge and test devices, and how to keep online safety in your home in mind

2 - Establish clear routines - have daily and weekly schedules, post them, have morning and afternoon "check-in" sessions, figure out how to deal with time using timers and alarms
Pinterest Schedules Link


3 - Encourage independence - let your kids know their work is their work! Let the teacher teach while letting your child own their own work and learn how to ask the teacher for help with they get stuck or bored

4 - Support family learning - have fun using learning for tasks like cooking, gardening, laundry and vacuuming!  Be creative to see that learning can be fun and go on when kids aren't online.  Most importantly,  have some ideas for activities if there are problems getting online or doing school work.  Here are some links to my Pinterest pages with ideas:
https://www.pinterest.com/maryeschenparentingdecoded/boredom-busters/

https://www.pinterest.com/maryeschenparentingdecoded/kids-fun-indoor-activities/

https://www.pinterest.com/maryeschenparentingdecoded/activities-for-teens/

5 - Lead your team with Family Meetings to talk about issues like - when quiet times are, how to interrupt mom or dad while they're working, how do have time with friends and special time with parents. 

The point with all of this is to provide some structure and be flexible to solve problems as they come up. 

Email me if you'd like to brainstorm ideas for your situation:  [email protected]

TRANSCRIPT HERE

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Many of us struggle with kids who whine, disobey and maybe even lie just to get their way.  We get so exasperated we want to explode and some of us certainly do explode. 

In this podcast we’ll explore what happens in our families if we’re always operating in “crisis mode” then talk about ways to avoid ever getting into that mode by using Family Meetings to set boundaries and limits while communicating as a family what behaviors are acceptable and expected. 

Using this step-by-step method you can set a clear path to success for your family as a team and learn to solve problems together and celebrate living and learning in an ever changing world. 

Here's a transcript of the podcast:  TRANSCRIPT

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

In this podcast I’m going to cover issues relating to money with middle and high schoolers.  I will go over how to give money and how much, when to give money, and how to set up responsible money habits including how to use an ATM card, checking account, credit cards.  

Money is a huge challenge for us all and at this stage your high schooler or middle schooler is at a huge crossroads with learning life skills.  Dealing with money is a much-neglected skill during these years yet they are the most crucial years to allow as many affordable mistakes as possible. This makes money a prime target for small mistakes now to avoid big mistakes later. If you know someone who can’t manage money as an adult, I’m going to guess their parents didn’t teach them much about it, might have given in to every whim just to keep them happy when they were young.  Hey, that adult might even be you!  

If you listened to my podcast about money for younger kids, you’ll have already heard how to start a small budget for vacations and special events that I call a trinket budget.  We’re going to expand on that concept greatly by including more of the day-to-day expenses our kids encounter, not just vacations and special events.  

With older kids I want to help you introduce money concepts so that by the time they graduate from high school they know about budgeting, credit cards and debt.  I’m even going to show you a way to tie in getting chores done which is such a bonus.  You want to launch a financially responsible child into the world so that you won’t be paying their bills for the rest of your life. 

Here's a transcript of the podcast:  TRANSCRIPT

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

There are things to do at different ages and stages to help introduce money concepts to your kids so that by the time they graduate from high school they know about budgeting, credit cards and debt.   In this podcast, I’ll concentrate on what to do with younger kids, from toddler years up through elementary school using a simple spend-save-share method.

Here's a transcript of the podcast:  TRANSCRIPT

If you'd like to look at the Pinterest board on Kids and Money here's a link for that:  PINTEREST

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

I’ve had quite a few people asking me about chores – how to set them up, do you pay for them, how much do you pay, is allowance tied to chores, do I need chore charts with rewards, what do I do if my kid won’t do their chores.  In this podcast I want to address all those issues and more.  Chores let your kids develop life skills that, if taught well, will launch them into a good place in life.  I’ll start with the research behind why chores are important and then I’ll get into the nitty-gritty of how to implement chores with kids of various ages. 

Go to my website for a full transcript of this podcast:
TRANSCRIPT

Pinterest Board on Kids Chores:
PINTEREST

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

In this episode I talk about the anger in our homes that gets directed at our children and some ideas for how we can get it under control.  First, I’ll talk about the impact anger has on our families then three ways to help mitigate anger in your home.  Lastly,  I’ll give you some fun and creative ideas about how to repair relationships with your kids.

Here's a link to IdealistMom.com's article on the "Five Hair Ties" solution for getting positive interactions into your home.
https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/angry-mother/

To read a transcript of this entire podcast go to my parentingwithlogic.com website here:
https://www.parentingwithlogic.com/success-stories-blog/podcast-13-anger-managment-for-parents

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!