Parenting Decoded

In Part 2, (Podcast 11 is for parents of younger kids) I cover my final 5 rules dealing with older kids when individual cell-phones, laptops and other electronics come in to play by about middle school.  

Rule 9: Use Contracts
Rule 10: Use Monitoring Software
Rule 11: Talk About Online Safety
Rule 12: Talk About Social Media and Gaming
Rule 13: Talk about Porn

Here are links to resources mentioned in the podcast:
 

Helpful Websites for Keeping Up To Date
www.CommonSenseMedia.org
www.Axis.org
www.StayHipp.com

Digital Contract Sample
https://www.parentingwithlogic.com/family-digital-contract.html

Ideas for Setting Up Healthy Media Use
https://www.mytutor.co.uk/blog/parents/the-screen-time-diet-helping-your-teen-find-the-balance-with-tech/

Book for Talking to Younger Kids about Porn
https://www.amazon.com/Good-Pictures-Bad-Porn-Proofing-Todays-ebook/dp/B07KQFWR6J/ref=sr_1_1?crid=M3J0KWQJUIJ&dchild=1&keywords=good+pictures+bad+pictures&qid=1590185110&sprefix=good+picture%2Caps%2C218&sr=8-1

Website Resources for Talking to Teens about Porn
https://raisingchildren.net.au/teens/entertainment-technology/pornography-sexting/pornography-talking-with-teens

https://childmind.org/article/how-to-talk-to-teenagers-about-porn/

How to tell if Social Media is Harming your Mental Health
https://www.zocdoc.com/blog/how-to-tell-if-social-media-is-harming-your-mental-health/

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

As most parents have noticed screens are a constant source of friction in our households that just never seems to end. 

This podcast is the first of two parts; Part 1 (this podcast) targeting younger families and how to deal with what I call “family screens.” I go over ways we can set up screens in our family in such a way that there are limits with obedience, and if there’s not,  how to set up effective consequences. 

 Although the target audience for Part I is parents with toddlers to middle schoolers there are really fundamental things for all families to set up so it’s best to listen to this before moving on to Part 2 even if you have older kids.  On the flip side, even if you have younger kids I recommend you listen to Part 2 when it comes out so you can prepare for what’s ahead. This issue is super, super difficult, constantly changing, hard to understand and it’s so important for us parents to be on top of this and stay current. 

As I mentioned,  Part 1 is going to deal with what I call “family screens”.  These are the electronics in your house that are family owned – iPads, laptops, tablets, TVs, gaming systems and such that are shared among the family members.  This is usually the stage from toddler until late elementary to middle school when kids start getting their own phones and laptops.  In this podcast I’m going to cover 8 rules for what I think it takes to set up good screen time then in Part 2 I’ll cover my final 5 rules dealing with older kids when individual cell-phones, laptops and other electronics come in to play. 

Learn the 8 rules to follow:
Rule 1: Keep Electronics Out of the Bedroom
Rule 2: Keep Electronics in Public Places
Rule 3: Set Time Limits and Stick to Them
Rule 4: Define Consequences
Rule 5: Use Parental Control Software
Rule 6: Allocate Family Time
Rule 7: Encourage Downtime
Rule 8: Model It!

Here's a link to Bark-O-Matic mentioned in the podcast:
BARK-O-MATIC

For a link to the transcript of this podcast see my blog on my website at:
PODCAST TRANSCRIPT

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Getting our kids to obey and comply is a daily struggle for so many.  Our classic styles of punishment just seem to be falling on deaf ears these days, doesn't it?  You can take stuff away or give time outs until your face turns blue and the next day your kids are right back on their bad behaviors.  Right?  

In this episode we'll talk about why "punishments" are only temporarily effective.  Instead, using a combination of 

• Natural Consequences - when something has happened that has enough natural "pain" to it so that the teachable moment for poor behavior can do the teaching for us --  like breaking a toy or losing a backpack or not finishing homework.
• Energy Replacement - when there's no logical consequence (like hitting a sibling or violating electronics limits)  and so we have our kids come up with ways to replace the energy and peace and harmony from our lives when that happened.  Our kids do chores or acts of service to replace that energy.  

We need to change the hearts of our kids by letting them own the consequences of their poor decision to misbehave. 

Here are the links for further material I refer to in this podcast:
Love and Logic Energy Drain - audio
Energy Drain Idea List

Transcript HERE 

If you have questions please email me at [email protected].

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

In this episode we talk about what good might come from sibling rivalry but then some really practical techniques to use with your kids:

• not taking sides
• separating our kids
• teaching them communication skills
• setting aside Special Time 

I also talk about the very useful technique from Love and Logic Institute called Energy Drain and where to get more information on how to get your own energy back after your kids fight and argue.

Here: TRANSCRIPT OF PODCAST


Here are the links I refer to in my podcast of other resources:

Love and Logic audios
     Energy Drain - Love and Logic Magic When Kids Drain Your Energy
     Sibling Rivalry

Mary's Energy Drain Idea List

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

In this podcast we about how to handle sleep for our tweens and teens and why sleep seems to be so difficult for them biologically and socially.  I want to give you some ideas about how to react and manage both your expectations and theirs regarding this really essential part of their growing years. With the stresses in our environment today the impact of sleep on our mental health and immune system is super important for us to pay attention to so I hope these ideas will smooth out a few issues in your home. 

Some highlights:

• Academic stress is robbing our kids of sleep
• Electonics needs to be managed
• Bedtimes for middle schoolers are fine
• No required bedtimes for high schoolers since we need them to learn how to manage their sleep.  
• Help to have input into their wake-up times instead of when they go to bed
• If they are grumpy in the morning give them empathy and offer to help 
• Plan Special Time with your teen to allow for one-on-one brainstorming about issues
• Most importantly have a relationship with your teen, no yelling or nagging!

Here: TRANSCRIPT OF PODCAST

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

This podcast is for parents of toddlers through elementary school,  I have a separate podcast on dealing with issues of sleep and teens so please head there if you have older kids.  In this podcast we’ll go through some ideas for moving toward bed, getting ready for bed, turning out the lights and finally ideas for those of you who have kids who wake up at night. With that said, let’s get started.

Here: TRANSCRIPT OF PODCAST

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Today with CoVID-19 virus keeping families in close quarters I wanted to do a special podcast to help with tantrums that might be happening way too often.  Tantrums can be so draining and disruptive to happy family life so in this hour of great need I’m going to talk about:

·      the emotion behind the tantrums 

·      how to set up “calm down” time 

·      how to brainstorm with our kids after meltdown  

The target for this podcast is parents of toddlers through elementary school so if you have a teen, I’d recommend that you listen to my second podcast called: Teens: Respect, Emotions and Brains.

For more information on my website about Love and Logic Institute's Uh Oh Song please look here for more info and links to their website www.loveandlogic.com:
https://www.parentingwithlogic.com/uh-oh-song.html

Here:  TRANSCRIPT OF PODCAST

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

We often fret about young ones not eating right but things can be just as stressful for parents of teens and tweens.  In this episode I talk about what to do when:

• Teens skip meals
• When lack of food gets kids emotional or "hangry" as it's commonly called
• How to deal with different diets our kids experiment with

Enjoy!

Here: TRANSCRIPT OF PODCAST

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Food battles are so common in families this podcast is dedicated to giving ideas on how to move from battle to harmony at mealtime. 

Here are some of the items covered:

Family Mealtime Rules

1.     We eat at the table

2.     We don’t have electronics, toys, or  books while we eat 

3.     If a kid can lift a fork on their own, they need to feed themselves 

4.     When someone gets up from the table, they are done eating

I go into detail about how to implement each of these rules.

I also talk about ways to expand the foods that your kids eat by doing the following things:

1. Take the power away from your kids about what they eat.  You have to not care.
2. Don't be anxious about their eating, you being chill will really help and they will settle down over time if there's no medical issues.  Let your pediatrician be the guide.
3. Offer at least one choice on their plates they like.
4. Have a food treasure hunt with your kids in getting them to try new foods.  Even let them spit it out if they don't like it!

Here: TRANSCRIPT OF PODCAST

You also might need to use Energy Drain techniques from Love and Logic Institute.  Here is a link to more info about that:
ENERGY DRAIN

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!

In this episode we review a number of different situations where a parent not remembering something allowed their children to become responsible and prove to themselves and their parents that they are capable as well. 

We also learn how being the "Finder" parent in your household isn't as helpful as we think it is.  Finder parents are those parents who know where everything in the house is thus allowing their family members to have a reason to not be responsible for their own stuff.  This unthankful job should be abandoned ASAP since we are robbing our children of the life lessons of what happens when they forget.

Here: TRANSCRIPT OF PODCAST

Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com. 

Have a blessed rest of your day!