Parenting Today's Teens

So …mom… dad …let me as you a question. Does your teen seem sensible? The response I get from most parents is … “Are you crazy? Of course not!”

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Hey …teens are wired for chaos. And they spread it everywhere they go… including your home. Our job as parents is to help our teenagers emerge as sensible… responsible… and mature adults. The best way to help our teens move in that direction is to allow consequences to teach them when they make bad choices.

When your teen breaks a rule… and he will… show your deep love for him by refusing to let him off the hook. It could be the best thing you’ll ever do to tame the chaos in your home!

As a parent, you set rules in your home for a good reason. Most likely they focus on things like honesty… obedience… and respect for others. But what happens when your teen blows right through all the rules?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Rules are expectations and guidelines… that are placed around our behavior… so that the family operates within our personal belief system. But all the rules you put in place… all the good stuff you want for your kids… don’t make a difference if there aren’t consequences to back them up.

It’s the consequences that’ll teach your children to learn right from wrong… and move from selfish to unselfish behavior. That’s what you’re aiming for as a parent, right? So don’t keel when the pressure’s on. Follow through, as needed… with the consequences.

Sometimes a healthy pursuit can have unhealthy manifestations. Like trying to belong and fit in.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.

When your teen seeks personal validation from peers… this isn’t inherently bad. It may look like rebellion to you. It may lead to inappropriate behaviors. And some strange choices in clothing and music at times. But in reality, your teen is just a little off track.

So …how do you steer a kid that’s headed in the wrong direction?

Well, let your child’s choices teach him the truth. If he looks like a dork, he sounds like an idiot, he acts like a jerk… eventually… he can’t continue in that direction without facing deeper trouble.

Let him face those consequences without rescuing him. That’ll do more to change his future behavior than anything you can ever say. Failure is an irreplaceable education for living in the real world!

Ever wonder why your son or daughter hangs around with a questionable group of friends? Are you worried that your teen is being dragged down by his peers?

This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston helps parents make sense of their child’s choice of friends and protect their teen from choosing the wrong crowd.

I work with troubled kids. Teens who’ve lost their way. And their parents often ask me what to do when their teen is arrested.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Well… I believe in allowing a child to own the consequences of his behavior. I believe it’s best to not bail a kid out right away… especially if he truly deserved being arrested in the first place.

It’s a tough decision, but letting your child sit for a day or two in jail may be the lesson that’s needed. And correction at a younger age is far better than imprisonment for a lifetime as an adult.

Think about it. Jail time might just speak to your son or daughter louder than you ever could! It’ll bring a sobering sense of reality to the choices… and consequences!

When you have an older teen spinning out of control and not responding to your discipline… it may mean you have a very important choice before you. You can let that teen stay at home and wreak havoc in the household. Or… you can ask him to leave.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.

It’s a difficult decision. But parents shouldn’t allow one out- of- control teen to destroy the good things going for the rest of the family. Sometimes the best option for an older teen is to release them. Let them go.

And as parents, we should pray for their growth and development in the world… in ways they weren’t grasping at home.

Scary. Yes. But sometimes a child won’t listen to our advice …until he gets to the end of himself.

At Heartlight… our residential counseling center for troubled teens… one of my jobs is to repair the horse fences. I need to ensure that the boundaries are strong.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.

These sensitive… and sometimes stubborn… creatures need to know where they can go, and where they can’t. If a horse breaks any part of a fence, I fix it. When they constantly push on the fence to the point it becomes weak… I reinforce it with stronger wood.

Well, personal boundaries are like good fences… they offer protection and help define what’s good.

Establishing …and constantly reinforcing… strong boundaries with your teen will insure that even if they push their limits, they won’t get lost, or tread into unknown and dangerous territory.

So mom … dad … keep buildin’ and protecting those fences! Some day …your kids will thank you.

Change is tough. And, usually, change creates all kinds of conflict.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.

God has called you, as a parent, to work toward better things for your family… even if that means instigating stuff that makes your kids uncomfortable. You’re standing for the good, honorable and necessary things that will make your home a better place to live in today… and years into the future. In fact… your decisions may even impact the family for generations!

So… let the conflict come. I’d even encourage you to embrace conflict. Bring it on! It’s a sign that real change is happening!

You have the power to point your family in the right direction. So, be encouraged, mom or dad… God’s working through you… even in the conflict!

Matthew 6:27 says, Can any of you add a single hour to the span of your life by worrying?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Well, let’s be honest. No matter how hard we try …it’s really hard not to worry about your kids. Especially when they’re acting out in unacceptable ways. It’s scary to watch your child choose the wrong things, and struggle as a result.

But part of the reason God may allow your child to struggle through some things is to teach you to believe that He is in control. And that you can trust Him.

Here’s another verse for you. Jeremiah 17 says … Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord… for he will be like a tree planted by the water… and will not fear when the heat comes. Its leaves will be green and it will not be anxious in a year of drought.

Do you find yourself weary from worry? Relax. God can be trusted.