Parenting Today's Teens

Everyone has those moments when they don’t handle things well, and even the best parent loses it once in awhile. But if losing your cool has become the new normal… maybe it’s time to hit the pause button… and get some help.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Ephesians 6:4 says, Fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath. When a parent provokes their teen to the point of exasperation… it’s like pouring gasoline on a smoldering fire. Furthermore, a parent’s verbal barbs inflict wounds that are deep. In fact, your angry outbursts may leave scars on your teen for years to come.

So here’s a challenge to you today. The next time something conflict occurs and you can feel your blood begin to boil …take a moment to gather yourself. And take this time- tested advice. It comes straight from the wisdom of Scripture: Don’t provoke your children to wrath.

When was the last time you humbled yourself … and spoke those two giant words … I’m sorry?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.

I once witnessed an entire family break down and sob when the father asked each member to forgive him for the way he’d handled himself in their relationship. He extended the olive branch with intensity and emotion.

It was a humble, sincere apology, and a good step toward restoring his position with his children. Every heart in the room melted …and anger and resentment began to lift.

I challenge you to take the dad’s example. Do you need to admit responsibility for building walls in your family? For contributing to miscommunication? It’s time to start steering your home in the right direction, and fostering respect in those you love.

Your teen may seem like a fortress with high walls and a locked gate. Impenetrable. But seeking forgiveness may unlock the door to his or her heart. Just say those two powerful words … I’m sorry.

Grandparents can have a profound influence on their grandkids during the teen years. And those years can develop into rich connection and long-lasting relationship.

This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston shares how grandparents fulfill a specific and vital role in a teen’s life.

There’s nothing more destructive to your relationship with your child than constant lecturing.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Whenever conflict occurs, if your knee-jerk reaction is to lecture, you’re communicating that you don’t think your teen can think for himself. And if you condemn him for his mistakes, you’re actually reinforcing that you don’t really respect him.

That’s not your intent …but it’s what your child is hearing.

So what can be done? Well, stop lecturing and start listening. In fact, start today! Right now, even. Try it for a day. Don’t flip out, argue or lecture. Button up your lips. Just let it go. It’ll take a lot of discipline on your part, but you may discover it’s just what your teen needs.

Then watch what happens. Before long …your teen will return the favor and start listening to you.

Let me ask you a question. Are you content with whatever your teen wants to do with his or her life?

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Teens often feel that they can’t live up to their parents’ expectations. In their mind, it’s just impossible… even if your hopes are totally reasonable.

So let me ask the question again. Will you be authentically content with whatever they tell you they want to do in life? After all your hard work to get them where you think they need to be, will you be happy if they decide to pursue something other than your personal preference?

It’s wise to begin talking about expectations …both from your perspective, and from your teen’s point of view. Develop a heart for your teen’s desires… even if it’s not what you’d prefer. It’s the key to keeping your relationship with your child authentic, growing and healthy.

Life has a way of dishing out trouble, doesn’t it? And if you’re dealing with a struggling teen in your home, I guarantee …your plate is full.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.

In Romans 8, we read… And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Sounds like a conflicting statement. Life dishes out trouble… and all things work together for good. Hmmm. How do we connect those dots?

Let me suggest to you that the pain of dealing with a teen spinning out of control… can lead to a new understanding of God’s sovereignty. In fact, I’m guessing that last night’s argument with your teen… or the tensions between the siblings… is exactly the thing that keeps you on your knees in prayer.

So, yeah …life dishes out trouble. But all things work together for those who love God. No matter what’s happening in your home… God promises that He’s working behind the scenes.

Families call me all the time and say, “We need help! What do we do to fix our kid?”

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.

You know what my answer is? Well, there’s very little we can do to fix our kid. You gotta turn that notion around. What we’ve got to focus on is fixing ourselves. In the process… we’re allowing God to do something with our child way beyond our own resources.

So let’s make this practical. Is there something in your family you’d like to be different? Maybe a kid that’s disrespecting others or blowin’ off your rules. The problem’s so obvious. And, of course, should result in consequences.

But what’s not quite as obvious… is what God is trying to teach us. Could it be you’ve become part of the problem… instead of part of the solution? Quit trying to “fix” your kid. And you’re your family’s transformation begin with you!

Pain is predictable. You don’t have to guess. Guaranteed. It’s coming. Because… anytime you confront foolish thinking, when two value systems clash, or have a contest of opinions and ideas… it’s painful.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Moms and dads …if you have teens or pre-teens, you know what I’m talkin’ about. Anytime your kid lashes out… pain is just around the corner. When your authority needs to be re-established, when wrong motives and desires are exposed, or when your teen is confronted, limited, or restricted… hey …it’s painful.

But don’t let pain’s predictability keep you from doing your job. Effective parenting doesn’t mean you need to make everyone feel better …or keep everyone happy. In fact, conflict may be the bold blinking neon sign that God’s healing work has begun in your family!

So, when pain shows up in your home, don’t run from it. Use it.

Sure, change can take place at any time. But there’s just something about a new year that inspires personal reflection and reevaluation.

This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston challenges parents to look back and look ahead by letting go of old parenting methods that no longer work and embracing newer, more effective ones.

Dealing with a teen whose behavior is inappropriate… and whose life is spinning out of control… takes a parent who’s focused. I mean …focused like a laser.

Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens.

Your teen will try and distract you by acting out. But don’t be fooled… there’s something else going on beneath the surface. As a mom or dad, it’s your job to look beyond the behavior… to the source of rebellion.

Perhaps your child is grieving the loss of a relationship or dream. Or maybe the pain of loneliness at school is manifesting itself in smoking or taking drugs. What’s happening on the outside… can give us clues to the real pain on the inside.

So, as much as your teen’s behavior is rockin’ your world… take time to carefully study what’s really goin’ on. Try to find the true cause of pain and rebellion. Once you identify the source …the healing can begin.