Patio Lanterns

Patio Lanterns episodes:

• 05.29.2024

  Podcast of the Apes

  APES BAD Ryan takes a road trip and ranks the communities within the East Kootenays. There's a bee infestation at Kurt's gym. Feeding Ryan brain nourishment on Instagram. Kurt's thoughts on Godzilla x Kong & Planet of the Apes. AI gaining...

  
• 05.15.2024

  Bustin' Makes Us Feel Good

  VOTE PATIO LANTERNS - a public pooper is on the loose in the Okanagan - Brian Kelley vs Tyler Hubbard -> we get you up to speed on the hottest feud in country music - Ludacris ARRIVES on our Song of the Summer...

  
• 05.01.2024

  Hog Cranking

  VOTE PATIO LANTERNS We have been nominated for Best Local Podcast. NHL playoff talk. Taylor Swift discussion. Where is Pierre McGuire? The mysterious monkey king. Song of the Summer nominations are open! ----more---- Vote for us (starting May 6, 2024) https://bestof.kelownanow.com/ Catch us LIVE on...

  
• 04.18.2024

  Killing for Content

  POUR ONE OUT FOR OJ Cicadas infestation incoming? The Canadian Country Music Awards are coming to Kelowna. How you laying (when you go to sleep)? The internet's dying. O.J. Simpson was "alert and chilling" on the couch drinking beer, watching TV...

  
• 04.07.2024

  Party in the Pit

  Announcing our campaign for: Best local influencer Best local podcast Best overall Instagram account Best overall TikTok account Kelowna's pit. Pooping wonderland. Jake Gyllenhaal should be ashamed for his physique in "Roadhouse". Gym contracts. Rest in peace Kevin the goose.  ----more---- Nominate/vote for us https://bestof.kelownanow.com/ Catch us LIVE on...

  
• 03.26.2024

  Kiss Our Boots

  We're speaking the Tennessee Truth Spring garden goals. Kurt shares a plane with a celebrity on his way to California. BK and TJ of Florida Georgia Line reach Ross/Rachel levels of sexual tension. Pigeon talk boils over. Airports need to smarten...

  
• 03.10.2024

  The Iceman Cometh

  One hand on the wheel. Long, deep breaths. Caveman owns this road. Kurt is back from Iceland with much to talk about including: his rental car freaking out and taking control of the wheel intermittently, no bathroom breaks, no lunch breaks,...

  
• 02.14.2024

  Super bowl Sunday, stood up on a Monday

  SPONGEBOB SUPER BOWL Somebody poisoned Kelowna's trees, and they're still out there! The K-man begins grinding his way to corporate king status. Randy's insane ear muff headphones. Kurt dating in 3 cities at once. Manifesting tragedy for podcast content. Kurt prepares...

  
• 02.05.2024

  The Fortune Cookie

  Featuring our favorite gameshow "WRITE IT OFF"   Quick Patio Date update. A fortune from a fortune cookie comes true. We play every accountant's favorite game, WRITE IT OFF. We discuss our interest in rearing kids, how many kids we'd like to...

  
• 01.21.2024

  Patio Lanterns (Lofi)

  WE BLEW OUR CONTENT IN THE FIRST HALF   Aliens invade - are you getting drafted? Ryan has an ethical dilemma at the grocery store. Setting up a mugging on your first date. Our thoughts on lo-fi music. Getting into a serious...

  
• 01.09.2024

  Cinderella Story

  Happy New Year? Kurt explains his Cinderella experience after Raudz. Kurt and Ryan consider releasing invasive species into the Okanagan. Ryan becomes enthralled in TikTok academia. Epstein Island. Kurt announces that he is leaving the podcast again to go and...

  
• 12.24.2023

  My Dinner with Randre

  PATIO LANTERNS HIGH: EPISODE 5 (SEASON FINALE) Old friends Wallace (Kurt) and Andre (Randy) haven't seen each another in one week and agree to meet for dinner. Andre, a once well-known biologist, dropped out of the island scene to travel the...

  
• 12.07.2023

  Flame Out

  We've still got each other A change to the BC Ferries reservation system has Randy fuming. Twin Peaks has us hooked! Kurt redownloads Tinder while Randy tries out Hinge premium. Who was Patio Lanterns' #1 listener from 2023? Thoughts on audiobooks....

  
• 11.23.2023

  Patio Lanterns Beer Can Chicken

  Crispy on the outside, tender and moist on the inside. OpenAI CEO Sam Altman is booted out of the company. Fall is the time for relaxing or to be a piece of shit. The dating market takes a turn for the...

  
• 11.09.2023

  Dating Is Like Fantasy Football

  PATIO DATE DELAYED While waiting to iron out the remaining wrinkles to successfully launch PATIO DATE, Ryan investigates competitor apps. Has the algorithm predetermined our fates? A TikTok rant. Snapchat influencers are bizarre.  ----more---- Catch us LIVE on Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/patiolanternsthepodcast Follow us on Instagram @plpodcast Check...

  
• 10.24.2023

  Ready to Rocket

  Happy Patioween! [0:00] Patio Date founder Ryan Rancier joins us to address some rumors making the rounds and updates us on the upcoming launch of the new app. Should sports commentating go the way of the dinosaurs? A hero takes action...

  
• 10.15.2023

  Cowboy Diaries

  Two lone cowboys, Kurt and Ryan, host a popular podcast called "Patio Lanterns." Tired of their daily routines, they embarked on an adventure to find a place of peace and tranquility. Somewhere rural, closer to their roots. As they journeyed through...

  
• 09.19.2023

  Hackers

  Our longest episode ever. Ryan travels to a small island where the goats outnumber the people. We discuss recent news such as the Mike Babcock resignation in Columbus and the Alien news out of Mexico. #FindKeith2023 update. Kurt wants to break...

  
• 09.01.2023

  Prom Kings

  Patio Lanterns High: Part IV It's prom night and the school courtyard is transformed into a prom wonderland, adorned with twinkling lights and decorations. Kurt (fresh out of juvenile detention) and Ryan, navigate the big night and their rocky relationships.   - Is...

  
• 08.10.2023

  Hollywood Lanterns

  Patio Lanterns High: The Halloween Special coming soon... "Patio Lanterns High" is a thrilling supernatural high school drama that delves into the mysteries of a cursed town, testing the bonds of friendship and bravery as its characters confront their deepest fears...

  
• 08.01.2023

  The Lost Episode

  5 YEARS IN THE MAKING Originally intended to be released in 2018, the (first) "lost" episode became a significant talking point over the years. It has evolved. And it's finally here. Enjoy. Eddie Spaghetti, the moon pr team, poop from the sky,...

  
• 07.26.2023

  Silent Disco

  Patio Lanterns High: Part III - What happened to Threads? - X Gon' Give It To Ya - Jason Aldean cancelled - Randy and Caveman hit up the silent disco - A tip to stay cool and stretch out your pants - What's going on with...

  
• 07.12.2023

  Alexander Grant

  This time on PATIO LANTERNS HIGH... - Ryan forces Kurt to watch all the Mission: Impossible movies - Kurt is KO'd by bacon and eggs - Butter + bread + olive oil + barley + water type businesses - LinkedIn lunatics and introducing Alexander...

  
• 07.02.2023

  High School Problems

  We invite superfans Christina, Alix, and Sascha onto the podcast to discuss our current and past lives. Just who is the Yellow-Vested Woman? ----more---- Catch us LIVE on Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/patiolanternsthepodcast Check out our brand new website!https://patiolanternspodcast.wixsite.com/plpodcast Follow us on Instagram @plpodcast

  
• 06.07.2023

  Bath time, shithead

  Kurt is back from Asia and Europe - Oiled up babies wrestling bulls - Turkish baths & slaps - Ryan's extravagant baths - Old people smell - Beautiful Parisians - We saw Fast X [0:00] We discuss Kurt's travels [57:30] Fast X (spoilers) discussion   Check out our brand new...

  
• 04.26.2023

  Wide Open Spaces

  LOYAL TO THE OIL   Kurt gets oiled up in anticipation of Game 5 of the Edmonton Oilers vs Los Angeles Kings in the playoffs. Ryan goes off on naturopaths. We reflect back and look ahead as Patio Lanterns celebrates 5 years!...

  
• 04.13.2023

  Unlawful But Legal

  ELECT BIGFOOT FOR SHERIFF - Kurt, the bachelor, heads down to the USA to celebrate - Ryan describes his gory experience shaving his head - A friend of the podcast's ass - Does draft beer get you more drunk? - Employers need to start writing...

  
• 03.26.2023

  Lost in London (w/ Zoe Plant)

  FRIENDLY STALKERS ONLY PLEASE[0 mins]: Randy orders some new flattering jeans. Kurt contemplates quitting the gym after trying out some local spin classes. Street sweepers take over the local headlines.  [30:30 mins]: Friend of the show, Zoe, joins us on the...

  
• 03.09.2023

  The Hour of the Devil

  Ryan gets cornered by a pack of wild dogs in Mexico. We need a psychic to help Kurt get some damn sleep. The Valentine's Day effect sends ripples through the dating world. Kurt stars in a movie. Randy's insane travel...

  
• 02.20.2023

  Mountain Retreat

  We head to the mountains to relax and record this episode. Randy finally tries the bidet. A man gets panini'd at the gym. The Fast X trailer. The Apple Music fake crowd noise halftime show. Kurt gets mistaken for Dylan Sprouse...

  
• 02.05.2023

  Cawston to Carolina

  WET FEBRUARY HAS ARRIVED Randy joins TikTok around the same time a Chinese surveillance balloon is spotted hovering over Eastern USA. One of us receives a special flower delivery. Another failed dating app and another successful ladies' spin night has Kurt...

  
• 01.19.2023

  The Zodiac Killer

  Dry January may be bad for your health. Kurt's attendance in accounting class is accounted for. The dating apps are all dried up - Kurt provides his definitive rankings of the ones you know, and the ones you don't. Ryan...

  
• 01.04.2023

  The Caveman and Randy Show

  LET'S GET PRIMITIVE   Randy hosts a holiday cocktail party with a surprising guest appearance. New Year's lives up to the hype! An AI takes control of Randy's life, one email at a time...Weather apps cannot be trusted. A heated debate on...

  
• 12.18.2022

  Gettin’ cheugy wit it

  ALTERNATE TITLE: Our dinner with Raud   Caveman and Randy with a special in-person Christmas episode. Randy introduces a new word. Adriene's extremely specific yoga videos. The stark contrast between morning and evening news. Are we out on partying? Kurt is a...

  
• 11.30.2022

  Bombs Away

  The Penticton park bomber is locked up. Kurt is striving for hygge. Randy and Pa head out turkey hunting. Kurt does not like live music. More LinkedIn content. A mattress story. Luke Bryan's outrageous concerts.   You can support friend of the...

  
• 11.17.2022

  You, Me and Bidet and Marley and I

  I am Dogelon. Dogelon Mars. Join me and together we will reach the stars.   The boys gaslight each other. Kurt considers moving his social media presence entirely to LinkedIn where people appreciate quality content. Cosplaying your job. Plumber problems. We try...

  
• 11.03.2022

  The Pump

  We're coming through your earbuds!   Kurt - inspired by his travels - installs a bidet at home! It's beach season and Ryan ranks all of Kelowna's beaches. Our thoughts on Midnights by Tswift (and a sidebar on deluxe albums). The Hell's...

  
• 10.20.2022

  Yoshi’s World

  Kurt finds himself. Again.   - Kurt is back from Bali & Singapore. Lots to discuss! - Sentient robots & toilets. - Jet lag isn't real. - Loblaws gives Canadians the break they need.   Check out our brand new website!https://patiolanternspodcast.wixsite.com/plpodcastFollow us on Instagram @plpodcast

  
• 09.08.2022

  Be Real

  SONG OF THE SUMMER 2022 REVEAL   Ryan joins the next big app for young people! Dodge discontinuing the Challenger and Charger and Vin Diesel is missing. Fans from across the world flock to Burnaby, BC for a chance to appear in...

  
• 08.25.2022

  The Fantastic Four

  We trim down our Song of the Summer nominations to just 4 in suspenseful fashion. This is the first episode we've uploaded to YouTube. Check it out! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzzVDklQLSepr1rwCqeFYUw Check out our brand new website!https://patiolanternspodcast.wixsite.com/plpodcastFollow us on Instagram @plpodcast

  
• 08.12.2022

  Rocky Mountain High

  THE MYTH BUSTIN' PODCAST Kurt visits the MILE HIGH CITY (5280ft). More airport experiences. Altitude sickness is a hoax. Denver dong. Today's angsty music releases. What does a movie producer do? Midweek beers. Our upcoming grad reunion. Our COMPLETE Song of...

  
• 07.27.2022

  Make sure you’re travel ready

  WestJet won't stop emailing us. Big Blake Shelton floods the stampede. Rhino gets stopped going through customs in the airport. Bachelor parties are too tame these days. Randy incites the local San Francisco population with his insistence on referring to...

  
• 07.15.2022

  What flavor is blackberry?

  Lil Huddy ain't Lil anymore. Kurt is looking forward to see Big Blake Shelton on stage this coming weekend. Ryan experiences beach power moves. Kurt attends wine school. And congratulations to PATONE 17-3938 Very Peri for winning color of the...

  
• 06.29.2022

  You Can’t Call Me Al

  Paul Simon loses Song of the Summer again. Ryan is fascinated by the big toilet bowls in Europe. Congrats to those and their fans too. Elevation is a hoax. 1 month THICC BOI™ update and it is thick. More SOTS...

  
• 06.09.2022

  Girls don’t like boys, girls like iphones and money

  - Rando is on the move to the land down under...Austria. - Checking in on the THICC BOI™ progress - Android boys worldwide are getting turned down at an astonishing rate - Several new Song of the Summer nominations  - Naked man carjacking - Combine...

  
• 05.27.2022

  Raging B

  The Battle of Alberta has us raging in different ways. We bring in our top 2 analysts (ourselves) to discuss the amount of betting ads in the hockey world. US hockey broadcasts and the crazy amount of color commentators and...

  
• 05.13.2022

  Mind Your Own Lawn

  Stratas need to back off. Chiming in on the anti-lawn movement. Ospreys wreaking havoc in Lake Country! Kelowna (Lake Country) brewery raising money and we don't like it. KelownaNow is corrupt. Is being an Oilers fan like being a divorced...

  
• 04.28.2022

  Vin Cringe

  Vin Diesel's cringey instagram posts cause the director of Fast X, Justin Lin, to quit. Kurt is off the market. Ryan completes in the Sun Run. Open up the song of the summer nominations for 2022! If the world ended...

  
• 04.14.2022

  Criss Human

  REGULAR GUY   We went golfing and then to see Santana live in concert! Mindfreak is getting a prequel? OJ Simpson sounds off on Will Smith. The pizza time process - Kurt breaks it down for the listeners. One of us has...

  
• 03.29.2022

  Dumbing It Down (w/ Jake Carey)

  We are joined on the patio by our good friend Jake T Carey... - Hot guy summer  - Why is it called the "hamburger"? We don't have the answer but it does get discussed - Discovering bread - Backdoor socialism - Jake's top 3 books...