Pay Raise Playbook

Hey there! This is Christy Rutherford, your host for Why She’s Winning. Today, Rochelle Stokes and I discuss the impossible balance as a wife, mom, caregiver, and leader.

Rochelle Stokes is the compliance strategic portfolio program manager at Deutsche Bank. She previously worked as the governance risk and compliance senior program manager at Qontigo, vice president at JP Morgan Chase, and business development manager at Bankers Liability and Casualty.

Rochelle has her MBA from American Intercontinental University and her bachelor's in chemistry from Kings College in London. She has her PMP, MBA, and OPP.

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Here’s Just a Taste of This Episode’s Talking PointsRochelle’s State of Mind Before Pursuing Change

Before pursuing change, Rochelle was not in a good state of mind. She was facing many different challenges in her professional and personal life. At that moment, she turned from a woman who had never experienced an anxiety attack to someone who was experiencing two in the space of three weeks. She knew she needed to do something different to better care for herself and be happy.

Managing the Dynamics of Being a Mom, Daughter, and Wife

Through the program, Rochelle recognized she had zero boundaries. She had not set any boundaries in her personal and professional life, and since she worked from home during the pandemic, everything merged together.

She continued by saying, "When you don't have those boundaries, of course, it gets overwhelming very quickly, and being high achieving women, we want to be there for everyone to do our best all the time. And oftentimes though it's in spite of ourselves, it's not managing what we are dealing with and how we are taking care of ourselves".

Other Topics We Covered on the Show:

• Rochelle shares how she had progressed to a point where she realized she needed to do something different.
• The commonalities Rochelle found in the group of high-achieving, high-power women.
• Rochelle also shared how she managed to identify the negative emotions she was carrying. 
• What happened after Rochelle started to set boundaries?
• How did disengagement give Rochelle peace and harmony?
• Rochelle’s thoughts about imposter syndrome.
• Lastly, Rochelle gave two things women can do today to have peace.

How To Stay Connected with Rochelle Stokes

Check out Rochelle’s social profiles below.

• Website: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rochelle-child-mba/

Hey there! This is Christy Rutherford, your host for Why She’s Winning. Today, Joaquina Borges King and I spoke about writing the vision & making it plain.

Joaquina Borges King is the Senior Council of Eversource Energy in Connecticut. She specializes in state regulations with expertise in energy, procurements, renewables, and customer service.

She has over 20 years of legal experience and possesses a unique skill set in forming and executing strategies for success in navigating regulatory challenges.

Joaquina is an active community member and a public servant, having served on two gubernatorial-appointed counsels, judicial selection, and judicial review counsel in the state of Connecticut.

She is a mentor to many and has a great family she loves and supports. She earned her JD from Georgetown University, Law Center, and her BA for Wesleyan University.

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Here’s Just a Taste of This Episode’s Talking PointsJoaquina’s Revelation

Joaquina's revelation for herself was about being selfish and utilizing self-care without really knowing how to deal with it.

Pushing through the program, she knew she needed someone to align with a level of accountability to move forward in spaces of self-care and being selfish for herself in terms of mind space.

The Aha Moment

Part of Joaquina's “aha moment” was that she could easily guide others to certain precepts of the importance of meditation or a healthy lifestyle, which she was not doing.

Through that, she realized she could never deliver on being responsible for her own hopes, dreams, and aspirations. She had come to a point where she didn't even know her dreams. She was so far down and away from being in tune with herself that she could not clearly articulate her dreams.

Other Topics We Covered on the Show:

• Joaquina shared what it is like to be tired, and nobody ever asks how you are.
• Why most successful women cannot answer this question, “If I was your fairy godmother, what would you ask for?”
• She also talked a little bit about the revelation of what's possible.
• How Joaquina rises back up again after being in the swirl.
• The response of Joaquina’s family towards the new version of herself.
• Lastly, Joaquina’s advice for women who feel they need change.

How To Stay Connected with Joaquina Borges King

Check out Joaquina’s social profiles below:

• LinkedIn Profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joaquina-borges-king-632b2a1/

Hey there! This is Christy Rutherford, your host for Why She’s Winning. Today, Debra Arrington and I talk about the power of forgiveness.

Debra Arrington is currently the information technology transformation officer for General Dynamics Bath Iron Works. She has spent the majority of her career in business consulting and program management with Oracle Consulting, PwC, PricewaterhouseCoopers, and IBM Global Business Services.

Her experience is across multiple industries, including telecommunications, manufacturing, government, defense, healthcare, and life sciences. She has global experience with IBM working with various countries on their industry solutions.

Debra has an executive MBA with an international focus. She is also a certified project management professional with a credential in organizational transformation.

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Here’s Just a Taste of This Episode’s Talking PointsBeing Assessed in About 10 Minutes

Debra intentionally intended to receive coaching for her career, but during our initial call, I discovered that was not the real problem.

After our call, Debra started thinking differently, and was surprised at my astute ability to hit her in the head with what was going on in her mind, life, and history.

The Real Challenge

Debra's biggest challenge was forgiving herself. At first, she did not realize that being unable to effectively and successfully forgive herself was hindering her from doing a great job in her career.

Now, going through the process has helped her realize that without forgiving yourself, you will not be able to progress in life like you want to.

Other Topics We Covered on the Show:

• The most surprising things Debra discovered when she started to do the work and started to look within.
• Surprising moments for Debra when she joined the group of women.
• Debra's experience when she has gone through the forgiveness session.
• The difference between suffering in your smiling and smiling from your soul.
• What was it like the first time when Debra consciously said NO to somebody?
• How did learning to say "Hear me! This is what I need to say" open up other areas and channels in Debra's relationships?
• Lastly, the byproduct of forgiveness.

How To Stay Connected with Debra Arrington

Check out Debra’s social profiles below.

• Website: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debraearrington

Hey there! This is Christy Rutherford, your host for Why She’s Winning. Today, Kendra Speed and I talked about letting your own light shine.

Kendra Speed began her career in research in 2003 at Procter & Gamble, where she led projects across Ethnic, Shopper, and Beauty Care. She has further honed her research capability with professional experiences at Michelin, NA, a tire manufacturer, and Crescent Communities, a real estate developer. This experience has shaped Kendra’s passion for delivering actionable and impactful insights to influence decision-making and drive business results. Kendra actively seeks ways to add to the body of knowledge for the business by absorbing and synthesizing insights and data over time.

She is the current Head of Customer Strategy & Insights at Dropbox, Inc., where she leads a customer and market research team focused on identifying and sizing an in-depth understanding of the global markets where Dropbox operates.

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Here’s Just a Taste of This Episode’s Talking PointsDigging a Little Deeper

Kendra first joined the three-day event, where she was surprised by how many professional women were there. The event was one of the first pieces where she honestly said to herself, "I need to be around this coaching. This sisterhood really feels good."

The other piece was delving through some great modules, on which she felt she wanted more and was getting insights she had never gained elsewhere.

The other piece was through my coaching, where I called her on it and forced her to look at it, which made her feel different. That sense of newness made Kendra dig deeper into the program.

Being Called Out

There was a pause when Kendra heard about the role she was personally playing and how she was showing up. She felt there was tension between the roles she was playing.

She thought she was showing up in a way that would allow her to be successful, showing up how people wanted to see her. Not knowing that, at the end of the day, what people wanted to see was the real Kendra.

Another thing she felt called out on was having a quiet rage or anger underneath the surface.

Other Topics We Covered on the Show:

• Kendra shared the result of her journey to change.
• She discussed what she believed executive presence to be before.
• How being authentic allowed Kendra to feel a sense of freedom.
• Kendra also shared her thoughts about imposter syndrome.
• Finally, her piece of advice for women who wanted to be themselves.

How To Stay Connected with Kendra Speed

Check out Kendra’s social profiles below.

• LinkedIn Profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kendraspeed/

Hey there! This is Christy Rutherford, your host for Why She’s Winning. Today, Jalisa Johnson and I talk about how to release your resistance to change.

Jalisa Johnson is the CEO and founder of Virtual Emerging Technology Solutions and 360 Health Net. She has been providing technical consultation and solutions architecture work for information technology broadcasts for 20 years. She moved to DC 15 years ago to work for NBC during their digital conversion as a contractor. Since then, she's moved on to working primarily in contract roles, supporting government agencies, and bringing converged technologies.

Jalisa collaborated with Quiana Gainey and founded Secure Tech 360 in 2010. By 2015, sales rose to 1.7 million, and the firm added major clients such as the Department of Health and the US Department of Homeland Security.

She also founded Virtual Emergent Technology Solutions in 2015, which is a minority woman-owned information technology consulting firm that specializes in formulating IT architecture solutions. Their primary focus is on cloud migrations, applications, and modernization around emergency management and healthcare IT.

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Here’s Just a Taste of This Episode’s Talking PointsA Point to Pursue Change

Before deciding to do something different Jalisa was at a point in her life where she had no clarity about her future and felt unsettled. She was also questioning a lot of things in her life.

The Resistance to Change

Jalisa's resistance was being vulnerable and talking about uncomfortable things with other people. She felt like she needed to talk, needed some coaching, needed some direction from other successful people, but that comes in a box and she is in a box.

It's not that it was hard, but she sees herself as a problem solver and she didn't want to feel like she was being solved or someone was trying to fix her.

Other Topics We Covered on the Show:

• Surprising truth of meeting some other women.
• Jalisa shared what her breakthrough moment looked like.
• The shocking revelations learned after a breakthrough.
• Life of having harmony with yourself.
• Stepping into your destiny.
• Piece of advice for people who are resistant to change.

How To Stay Connected with Jalisa Johnson

Check out Jalisa’s social profiles below.

• Website: https://v-ets.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/v-ets/

Hey there! This is Christy Rutherford, your host for Why She’s Winning. Today, Ingrid Jones and I talk about the power of saying NO.

Ingrid Jones has worked at Pfizer since 2017 in the roles of Senior Counsel, Trade Channel Management, and North American Legal Lead at Upjohn.

In 2021, she was named a CEO Action for Racial Equity Fellow, one of only 250 corporate leaders across the United States who collaborates on creating solutions to advance societal racial equity through public policy.

As Deputy Agency Chief Contracting Officer in the City of New York, she advised executives and staff on all procurement matters, local laws, City administrative requirements, policies, and procedures regarding purchasing/contracting operations, among other responsibilities.

Ingrid graduated from New York Law School, where she earned a J.D. She holds a master’s in Public Administration from Baruch College and a master’s in Administrative Leadership from Fairleigh Dickinson. She earned a B.S. from Benedict College.

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Here’s Just a Taste of This Episode’s Talking PointsThe Need to do Something Different

When Ingrid felt the need to do something different, she was at the point where she felt stuck. She grew up following what the world tells us to do: go to college, get a great job, have 2.5 kids, etc. Ingrid checked all of the boxes but still felt unhappy.

She knew there was more and knew the only way to get to the more was to talk to somebody. She has no shade on therapy, but she didn't think it was for her. What she needed was a coach on a professional and a personal level.

Learning to Say NO

When Ingrid started to say NO, most people around her were taken aback. The process was difficult, but she had to wean herself off it. After a while, she stopped getting as many phone calls and realized people mostly ask for her help because she makes it easy for them.

Other Topics We Covered on the Show:

• What made Ingrid decide to push through with the program?
• Ingrid shares the commonalities she sees with other women in the group.
• What was happening before Ingrid started saying NO?
• Ingrid’s definition of self-care back then to now.
• A piece of advice for women caught up in being needed and saving people.
• What habits did Ingrid implement that made the most significant difference in where she is today?

How To Stay Connected with Ingrid Jones

Check out Ingrid’s social profiles below.

• Website: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ingridgreenjones/

Hey there! This is Christy Rutherford, your host for Why She’s Winning. Today, Crystle Johnson and I talk about the power of taking breaks.

Crystle Johnson is a data-driven, organizational architect who leverages equitable process design to create spaces where underestimated talent can grow and thrive. Going beyond traditional, superficial means, she is laser-focused on building relationships across diverse communities, intentional career pathing, sponsorship, and removing barriers in everyday processes.

She founded The DEI Coach to create a safe space for black women who serve as DEI professionals, as she understands firsthand what it means to DO and BE the work. It leads to stress, burnout, and the loss of YOU. So, she is creating curated spaces where black women can show up authentically, cultivate community, and thrive through self-care and rest.

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Here’s Just a Taste of This Episode’s Talking PointsThe Need to Change and do Something Different

One thing that pushed Crystle to do something different was being raggedy. Most people see her as someone who has it all together and has all the answers, but behind the curtain, it was raggedy, stuff was everywhere and it was not good.

For Crystle, perfection was real. It was possible, and it was just something everybody chased. Coming into coaching, she didn't have the self-awareness she needed for coaching, until her leader referred me and gave me a call right away.

The Thing Crystle Felt She was Called Out on

Over the years, Crystle had taken the messages she received from her parents about being perfect and working hard, but it seemed no matter how hard she worked, she was not having a lot.

She ended up working hard and working herself into the ground so much I called her out because she felt like she didn't have enough and was not going to have enough, and she felt she was going to lose everything she had. That was the driving force behind why she was so raggedy and behind, why she just kept trying to chase perfection, do everything and reach everyone's expectations, whatever they were, even if they were unrealistic.

Other Topics We Covered on the Show:

• How Crystle’s change affected the way she showed up at work?
• What was Crystle’s biggest AHA moment?
• How did Crystle’s transformation change how other women are showing up?
• Crystle’s thoughts about the power of self-care when it comes to friends and what we are responsible for.
• Crystle’s insight into the layering process required for  freedom.
• What did Crystle think imposter syndrome was in the beginning?
• She also discussed the power of a group of women.
• Lastly, Crystle talked about setting boundaries and taking breaks.

How To Stay Connected with Crystle Johnson

Check out Crystle’s social media profiles below.

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thedeicoach/

Hey there! This is Christy Rutherford, your host for Why She’s Winning. Today, Kathy Wright and I talk about how she was able to shift from surviving to thriving.

Kathy Wright is a highly skilled Coach, Consultant, Speaker and the founder of She Believed She Could, LLC. She specializes in Organization Transformation as well as individual Life Coaching. Additionally, Kathy is a certified NFT Developer helping organizations and others create, and deploy NFTs.

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Here’s Just a Taste of This Episode’s Talking PointsA Journey to Self Discovery

Kathy's search for change started when she was in a space where she felt confused and scared. For the first time in her entire career, she wasn't able to give concrete answers and solutions to the community she serves.

Being at that point in her life she prayed and asked God to give her signs. 

At some point, she was watching one of her friends who was thriving despite the chaos the world is facing. Kathy asked her friend and told her she got a coach. Just after that conversation, Kathy gave me a call and that's when everything changed.

Confronting Your Fears to Re-Discover Yourself

During our call, I told Kathy that she was the most misplaced woman I have ever met in my life. She's like, “But I'm really good at my job and really happy about it.”

Then, I gave her a number she should be making and asked me if that was a real number. At that moment she realized she should dig deep and own the fact that she could do much more. That moment led her to confront her fears and re-discovering herself.

Other Topics We Covered on the Show:

• How being honest with yourself leads you one step closer to being happy.
• How confronting discomfort helps you grow.
• Being authentic is key to success.
• Vulnerability is an essential ingredient to success.
• Redefining what happiness means.

How To Stay Connected with Kathy Wright

Check out Kathy’s social profiles below.

• Website: https://she-believed-she-could-llc.business.site

Hey there! This is Christy Rutherford, your host for Why She’s Winning. Today, Thuli Selepe and I talk about the power of forgiveness.

Thuli Selepe was born and raised in South Africa. She spent most of her time in Soweto, one of the most prominent township locations with diverse cultural backgrounds and notable historic events, such as the June 16th uprising.

Thuli relocated to the U.S as a part of her work assignment, and is operating within the HR space of a multinational company. Besides her professional title of an absolute rockstar, Thuli is a mother, daughter, grandmother, and sister.

She is family-oriented, passionate about life, traveling, impacting those around her, and, in general, spreading her love and light. Thuli's greatest virtues are her kindness and strong belief in imparting knowledge on others.

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Here’s Just a Taste of This Episode’s Talking PointsDeciding to do Something Different

Seeing she was loosing herself was one of the things that drove Thuli to seek support in terms of coaching.

She said, “Sometimes in life, we can be in a situation that may shake our core foundation and end up losing who we are as an individual. Due to that, we may start developing other patterns or habits that would allow us to start doubting ourselves, or negative internal dialogues within ourselves”. This was one area Thuli knew she needed to start working on, which pushed her to be coached.

Doubting our Capabilities

Thuli mentioned that sometimes women really aspire to take leadership positions, but when we are faced with a lot of pressure and not understanding how to navigate some of those political dynamics within the organization. As well as how to make your voice heard in those spaces, it becomes difficult for you to be able to sustain yourself in that particular environment.

She continued on to say, “I think, also one other thing that we tend to struggle with, I would say myself as well, is that as women, we tend to want to be validated. We have the belief that in order for us to be seen, we have to prove ourselves to show that.” "I deserve to be in this particular role, and that's how we want to earn that respect."

“When we don't get that validation and that respect, we tend to doubt our capability.”

Other Topics We Covered on the Show:

• What are one or two things Thuli did that made the biggest shift in her life?
• The things Thuli learned throughout her journey about what she used to say vs. what she says now.
• Thuli shared how forgiving changed her quality of life.
• How Thuli was able to let go of the spirit of offense and make a connection to seek more ways to feel good?
• Her change in just three months. Where Thuli is now and how she sees other people responding in the world.
• Thuli’s message to women out there.

Hey there! This is Christy Rutherford, your host for Why She’s Winning. Today, Kelley and I talk about how to live a great life after 60.

Kelly Sexton is a nationally recognized leader, keynote speaker, and mentor. She helps to foster a culture of progress and not perfection. Be better today than you were yesterday by continuing to move forward.

Kelly believes it’s never too late for anyone to live their best life. You can start at any point along the way. After being married four times, Kelly finally learned the love she was seeking was for herself. She invested considerable time and money into personal development and learned to embrace her spiritual side.

At 62, she is finally living the life she had always envisioned for herself. She has written for a national trade magazine and spoken at numerous conferences around the country. Kelly was also recently featured in the documentary The Miracle Morning about Hal Elrod.

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Here’s Just a Taste of This Episode’s Talking PointsIt’s Never too Late to Live a Life You Desire

For Kelley, the reason why it's important for women to know it's not too late to live the life they desire is because we're only given one day, and that's today.

Kelley's question is, what are you waiting for? You have today.

Years ago, Kelley read the book titled The Four Agreements, which she modified into five. The first one she says is, "Be better today than I was yesterday", so therefore she's the best she can be. The others as follows: "Be impeccable with your words", "Don't take things personally", "Don't make assumptions" and go forward from there.

The Catalyst & the Desire for Change

Kelley and I met during the darkest time of her life. She saw me over some media platform to sign up for group session. However, the event was canceled due to some sickness I had and graciously offered her a one-on-one session.

After that, it took her several months to push through the program. Her catalyst for change was seeing a specific pattern in her life too many times.

Other Topics We Covered on the Show:

• Kelley shares how it was to break through the pattern and finally do things for herself.
• What was one of the processes in the program that made such a massive shift for Kelley?
• Life after Kelley did the forgiveness process.
• How do people in Kelley’s environment start to gravitate toward her peace?
• How did the definition of happiness change for Kelley?
• Kelley’s RV life.
• The results Kelley got after she got the joy.

How To Stay Connected with Kelley Sexton

Check out Kelley’s social profiles below.

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelleysexton