The solstice is nigh and I swear I can hear my garden calling out: "Paul! Paul! Come sink your trowel deep inside of me!"

I really should stop drinking so early...

So the new era of BlogTalkRadio.com has kicked in. Those of us who don't pay for the "premium" service ($399 per year for the basic package) have been relegated to a mere thirty minutes per show/per day. Quite possibly this evening's show will be a failed attempt to compress all that is me into a half hour. Feel free to tune in to what may be a train wreck of monumental proportions. I know at least I'LL have fun.

On this day I celebrate not only my 55th birthday but the 25th anniversary of the world's largest, best, and most controversial Satanic organization— the Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation. For a quarter century we have refused to play by anyone’s rules but our own, and proudly set the standard for what true Satanism is: egotistical atheism. Feel free to join in and share the celebration!

I know I said today's show was scrapped, but my girl wants me to do it. Sooooo... My kids rule.

On January 8, 2011, I will have three things to celebrate: my 55th birthday, the 25th anniversary of the Worldwide Church of Satanic Liberation, and my last day as Director of the aforementioned organization. Tonight's show will be a retrospective and feature the incoming WCSL director Jonathan Scungio.

Whether you're home or on a break at work, there is nothing better than spending that time with me. And really, whom else consistently lasts at least ninety minutes? No one.

New-Age Satanists are disillusioned by the fact that true Satanism is no more or less than egotistical atheism. To compensate, dozens of self-professed Satanic "churches" have sprung up run by, and populated with, a pathetic collection of angst-ridden sociopaths who believe in an actual sentient force they reverently call Satan, and seek to form a central "Satanic hub". Besides being potentially dangerous, these fools are quite simply wrong.

Andrew Ryan Skelton, 9, Alexander William Skelton, 7, and Tanner Lucas Skelton, 5 have been missing from their father's home in Morenci, MI since Friday. Their father said he gave them to a woman he met on the internet before his failed attempt at suicide. And it gets worse. Tonight's show may not be pleasant but I need to vent.

The gift being 90 minutes with me, of course.

I'm thinking of starting a band. ROCK OOOOOOOOON!!!

I seriously need help.