Persevering After Being Fired by Your Church: Kyle Isabelli Reflects on His Journey

Welcome back to the unSeminary podcast. We’re talking with repeat guest, Kyle Isabelli, the lead pastor from Avenue Christian Church in the western suburbs of Chicago.

Did you know that as many as one third of people working in church ministry will be forced to resign or be fired from their position? If you’ve ever had that experience, or been the leader making the tough decision, the question is: how do you handle it? In today’s podcast episode Kyle shares his story of being unexpectedly fired from his previous ministry position, the internal work he had to do to recover, and the importance of transparent communication.

* Where is your identity? // Kyle’s movement to his current church wasn’t by choice. When he was let go from his previous position in youth ministry, it came as a complete shock to him, forcing him to reevaluate where his identity was rooted. He realized that much of his identity was tied to being a successful youth pastor, rather than being rooted in Christ.

* Candor is kindness. // As people in church leadership, it’s critical that we are candid and transparent about where people on our staff stand in their positions. Communicate expectations and the consequences of unmet expectations clearly. Provide written documentation to help the person understand the gravity of the situation if things don’t change. A firing should never come as a complete surprise.

* What is God trying to teach you? // If you are let go from your ministry position, rather than focusing on what might feel unfair, ask God what he’s trying to teach you. How is he trying to refine your faith and grow you? Kyle realized he needed to learn to let go of self-sufficiency and embrace a complete dependence on the Holy Spirit. This shift in mindset set him up for success in his current ministry position at Avenue Christian Church.

* Practical steps. // Use a journal to record what you’re learning during this time. Write down the pain, struggles, and remorse you’re feeling. Working through these strong emotions can help to free you from bitterness and confirm what you are really passionate about in ministry. Take a break from social media and relationships that feed your jealousy or ego. Kyle wishes he had done a better job of setting boundaries and not seeking affirmation from others during his time of grieving and transition.

* Refined By the Fire(d). // Kyle has written a book called “Refined by the Fire(d): How to Process Pain, Regain Purpose, and Persevere After Being Fired by Your Church.” Coming out in January 2024, this book is the result of Kyle’s desire to create a resource for people going through what he went through. Being fired from a church position doesn’t have to be a fatal blow to a person’s career in ministry. Kyle’s book helps others reflect on their own stories and the work God wants to do after what they’ve experienced. It also can help senior leaders have more empathy, kindness, and grace when something isn’t working and they have to make difficult staffing decisions.

You can download the first chapter of Kyle’s book, or preorder it, at www.kyleisabelli.com. Find Avenue Christian Church at www.avenuechristian.com and check out the other organizations Kyle mentions, including Pastoral Transitions and Pastors’ Hope Network.