Some believe that planning ahead and thinking too much about the future (some of which is out of your control), causes too much stress. I, however, believe the opposite - by preparing for upcoming events, you remove a large chunk of the unknown, overcoming fears, and are all the more prepared to handle life hands you.

Today we find ourselves on the cusp of both a fresh new year and a new decade, full of endless potential and excitement. Although it really is an arbitrary marker, our mental clocks are reset and restarted, giving us the incentive to strive for change and improvement where desired.

For me, 2019 was a year of successful and dramatic personal and professional change, a great majority of which was outlined, designed, and planned in the last part of 2018. My purpose in this campaign is to share with you the steps I took, and continue to take, to experience continued growth in 2020.

You should care about what you wear!

I spend quite a bit of time on social media and reading articles and publications to keep myself current, trying to stay ahead of the change curve.

And in the past few weeks, I have come across a lot of chatter about the importance of how you dress, particularly at work or in professional settings. The opinions range from “I always wear a suit” to “I dress to match my audience and setting” to “It shouldn’t matter how I dress or what I wear” to “I don’t care what people expect, I’m going to be me.”

I have addressed this in the past, and I’ll probably talk about it again in the future, because it elicits such a passion in me. On one hand, I understand that people want to be respected based on their message and the value they bring to the table over how they look. My coaching clients struggle with this and dive deep into how they can make improvements in their executive presence, presentations, demeanor, leadership skills, and succeeding in a new role. The research they have done, the education and experience they have acquired are worth much more than their clothes. But here’s the catch.

You are a walking billboard. You are your product. You are your brand.

Take a listen. There is research that points to the importance of your image.

In today’s mood and environment, we as a society often struggle with finding common ground. The lack of self-awareness, common courtesy, and respect for the feelings and needs of others is contributing to, or maybe the reason for, such discourse and inability to even consider, let alone listen to, differing viewpoints.

This has caused a disruption in basic manners, in how we treat and interact with each other. But I believe the root cause is not simply that we disagree on how things should be done, I believe we, meaning humans, are at risk of losing sight of who we are as individuals, and for how much we are ultimately responsible for the outcomes of interactions with others. 

I must also clearly state that you, and you alone, are responsible for your behaviors and reactions to others. And although you are not responsible for the behavior of others, you have complete control over how you choose and intend to interact with others in the first place.

Sales professionals and gatekeepers have been at conflict for as long as business has existed...but issues arise when respect when people are disregarded, disrespected, and only seen as obstacles. 

A few days ago, I reluctantly engaged in a social media conversation on gatekeepers and those who try to get past them to get in direct contact with decision makers to sell their wares and services.

And while the conversations were based on so-called creative ways on how to “get around” the gatekeepers - which is a valid skill in the sales arena - what I was actually reading was a list of how to lie and do whatever it takes to get what you want.

The environment is frustrating on both ends - and each side needs to be reminded of that. We're all human, and all in this together.

Discussed in this episode is a very popular and accepted way of hosting events, in a way to which M-A-N-Y people respond very well. It may even be something they crave. But I would wager that there are also many others that do it, or go along with it, because they believe it’s the way things should go. I’m here to tell you there are alternatives, to trust your gut, and be on alert. And be cautious of what is being fed to you.

I want you to think about how you’re participating in life and allowing things to happen around and to you. I want you to make your decisions and choices based on your own needs and desires. I want you to not buy into the party just because it seems cool and is a popular way of doing something. 

What works for and is good for others may not work or bring value to you. Don’t follow the trend or activity or advice strictly because you think that’s what others are doing or because you randomly or blindly think you should. Because someone else is doing it. Buck the trend and find your own path. In fact, if it feels off or too good to be true - which most of the time it is - stand up to it, call it out for what it really is, and remove it from your life. 

Art is defined as “the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance.” And I would most definitely say that high fashion fits this description.

Some fashions presented during the Big 4 Shows are neither realistic depictions of what real people wear nor are they what will actually be found in retailers - and what we see on the runway isn’t always intended to be. They are often artistic, conceptual, communicating a mood, thought or are a sign of individual presentation. They mean more than just models walking the runway wearing clothes - the process is art.

Art is creative, inspirational, avant-garde, provocative, sometimes frightening, thought-provoking, open to interpretation, experimental, collectable, and reflective the real world. Fashion is the same.

People’s taste in art is subjective, and reactions can range from disinterest to mild to curious to extreme, both positively and negatively. Again, fashion is the same.

I believe that your biggest commitment must always be to yourself. And setting goals is a major step you need to take on your road to achieving the life you want.

By recognizing and working toward goals, you take ownership of your life and where you’re headed.

You create for yourself a vision of who you want to be and where you want to go, and goals give you an outline on how to get there.

You know where to push yourself, and you are inclined to hold yourself accountable to your actions in ensuring that what you’re working on contributes to that vision.

You can manifest your own reality just by seeing it as real - and setting goals will get you there.

So…did you take the challenge from the last episode? How did you do?

Did you find any surprises? Did you feel confused by the results and differences? And are you or are you not in control of how you spend your time?

Feedback from some said it was a great idea, and they maybe-kinda-sorta wanted to try it but didn’t for mainly one of two reasons: they knew they were hopefully disorganized anyway, so they’ve learned to live with it, or they didn’t have time. 

Does anyone else see the irony? 

You don’t have time to figure out where you can save yourself time?

Hmmm…I think we’re dealing with some fear here.

Fear of admitting you have work to do. Fear of realizing and finally accepting that you have unrealized goals and that accountability for that only sits on one person. I use the word accountability because I’ve come to greatly dislike the word blame - it creates too much negativity of thought, and that causes displaced anger, confusion, distraction and additional delay. I much more prefer to deal with 

Tune in to hear more about what I have to say about this...

Time is the one asset that once you use it, you can’t get it back. It can’t be recycled, you can’t buy more it, and to harness it you need to have an awareness of how you use it. 

Weak time management stems from a lack of self-awareness is simply due to a lack of proactive planning and prioritization. 

When you have a handle on your time, you are better prepared for those unavoidable surprises and last-minute changes, which results in lower levels of stress. 

And we can all stand to reduce the stress in our lives, right?

This week's topic is independence, and the benefits that entails.

Finding time for yourself is sometimes difficult to do as a busy adult, but’s important that you realize that you deserve your own attention, and that you are just as important as anyone else in your life. 

To become a powerful force in your own life, one with the ability to create the time and space you need, you need to see yourself as an independent being, with your own thoughts, desires and needs. This does not mean you need to be alone. Being independent does not in any way automatically equate to being alone, or lonely. It means you are a whole being, with enough self-respect, self-love, and self-awareness to know that you are an autonomous and influential person.

Allow yourself to blossom into the strong, independent being that commands respect and that deep inside you know you truly are.