Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique

Did you know it's almost Episode 50?? So much stuff is about to happen when we celebrate this milestone! If you haven't subscribed or added us to your favorites yet, do it now so you don't miss a lot of fun, important news, and a chance to WIN STUFF!

This episode is definitely NSFW. It starts with Amelia reading an article to Pitney about a man getting wanky with something weird. This inspires a lengthy discussion of masturbatory aids and other things into which one might stick one's dick. Then we laugh about 70s musical porn and naughty novelty items.

SCANDAL! What actress caused a stink online because she wasn't able to strongarm her way into a convention? FIND OUT IN THIS EPISODE!!!

(And remember: if you listen to the end, you'll be rewarded!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/ And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! https://www.zazzle.com/bitchenboutique (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

Before we get started here, Amelia would like to apologize for the occasional sound of her phone vibrating from time to time during this recording. It was on a completely different table and alerted her over and over to texts from her sisters and she didn't hear it until editing time, and obviously we were just stuck with it.

And have we mentioned before that if you don't listen all the way to the end of the podcast, you're missing primo stuff? It's true! And with this episode, you won't even understand the title unless you hear the goodies at the end!

This week Pitney is a little worried about finishing his Skyrim costume in time for HavenCon -- our first non-Frightmare con in forever! We're crazy excited about this LBGTQ+/Geek/Gaming convention! We reminisce about con dances from our past and pray to avoid "le spags." And then, of course, we explain what a "le spag" is, which means you get a Verity story!

Then Pitney tells a story about an old lady's reaction to the sight of a blood orange, and freaky people-watching in San Antonio. And that reminds Amelia of Leslie, an oddly famous homeless crossdresser from Austin.

And finally, Amelia teaches you all about the glamour of braising meat!

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/ And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! https://www.zazzle.com/bitchenboutique (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

This week's episode has been combobulated from two recording sessions. Pitney and Amelia discuss laughing at things other people are meh about, becoming our mothers, crazy shit old men say, Skyrim mods that annoy Pitney, and Amelia remembers some cool women who used to share a house with the Worst Person in the World. Then Pitney and our friend Cel chat about the WellRED show in San Antonio (featuring Corey Ryan Forrester, Drew Morgan, and the "Liberal Redneck" Trae Crowder), which Amelia couldn't attend because she was home with the damn flu.

Check out the guys! @CoreyRForrester @drewmorgcomedy @traecrowder

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/ And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! https://www.zazzle.com/bitchenboutique (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

Join us on a trip down memory lane, as we reminisce about our time in Guatemala!

Learn a little about local customs while you laugh at us for being so ridiculous. Food, shopping, "chicken buses," bad plumbing, the most comfortable AND uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, machine guns, and pee. Lots and lots of stories about pee. Plus why Amelia is so attached to a damn stick.

ps: "Xela" (pronounced "shayla") is what locals/Mayans call Quetzaltenango. We don't call it that because it's an Aztec name, and the stupid Spanish thought all brown people were the same, and -- you know, you can look that up if you want.

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/ And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! https://www.zazzle.com/bitchenboutique (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

As we hung out on New Year's Eve, awaiting the frustration of neighborhood fireworks, we talked about how our holidays went, since we hadn't seen each other since our families spent Thanksgiving together! Neither of our Christmases went as planned, but they were still reasonably okay. Hear about Pitney's new obsession and Amelia's Christmas win!

Then we fantasized about the best lives we could imagine, pretending that at midnight we could flip a switch and live exactly the life we wanted. Our answers are probably not what you'd think. But they did include a lot of talk about travel, which led us to reminisce about past trips to New York, and OH MY GOD THAT VERITY STORY THAT WAS ALMOST TOO APPALLING TO TELL. We hope you laugh as hard as we do thinking about it!

And finally, Milo Yiannopoulos. What a shitbag.

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/ And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! https://www.zazzle.com/bitchenboutique (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

Did you ever regret not buying something that you never saw again? We reminisce about some really good stuff that got away. Then a quick Hatin' on Satan that goes easy on the hatin'! And finally, we talk about genetics vs history. Nature vs nurture. Your DNA vs your family tree. Which is most important? And why do people get them confused? And shouldn't Ben Affleck just nut up and let people hear about how his family had slaveowners in it? And should Pitney get some lederhosen? They ARE pretty cute, even though they're a bit rough on the thighs.

(Amelia is a huge fan of Henry Louis Gates' PBS show, Finding Your Roots. You should watch it! http://www.pbs.org/weta/finding-your-roots/home/)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/ And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! https://www.zazzle.com/bitchenboutique

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

(Part 2 of 2...did you listen to part 1 yet?)

Don't assume that because we don't agree with you or because you think we're being callous that we haven't experienced assault. Because we both have. Multiple times. We share some of those stories in this episode to illustrate various points. TRIGGER WARNING, because we do go into detail. We talk about the difference between men and women, in particular the difference between how gay men approach men vs how straight men approach women. And Pitney even tells a story of the former Doctor Who showrunner who attempted to seduce him when he was a teenager! We promise there are some laughs!

Please remember this is a discussion between two people who see the world differently and who have had different experiences. If you hear something you don't like and you decide we're horrible people and stop listening, you're going to miss out on the journey. That's on you. But if you'd like to continue the conversation, contact us at [email protected]!

And because it's Christmas, we give you some delightfully awful holiday music:

O Holy Night - Steve Mauldin

Christmas in Smurfland – Father Abraham in Smurfland

Excuse My Christmas – Jan Terri

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/ And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! https://www.zazzle.com/bitchenboutique

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

There's a lot of talk, pretty much everywhere you look, about sexual assault, sexual harassment, pedophilia, and general creepiness. We can't seem to stop talking about it either. This turned into a two-part discussion about all of that, the way it's being handled in the media, the different ways of looking at the different types of incidents, and the danger of seeing the world in black and white. We touch on (eww) Weinstein, CK, Spacey, Franken, and Roy Moore. (You'll notice this was recorded before Franken stepped down and before Moore lost the election.) Did you know certain extreme evangelicals groom 14 year old girls for marriage? Amelia apologizes to Sean Young for ever believing the rumors that she was nuts. Pitney recalls the N'Sync guys who were willing to let their manager fellate them to get rich. And we talk about an academic woman who actually claims there's no such thing as "true consent."

Please remember this is a discussion between two people who see the world differently and who have had different experiences. If you hear something you don't like and you decide we're horrible people and stop listening, you're going to miss out on the journey. That's on you. But if you'd like to continue the conversation, contact us at [email protected]!

And because it's Christmas, we give you some delightfully awful holiday music:

The Dirty Santa Song - ??

Christmas is For the Family – The Happy Crickets

Donde Esta Santa Claus - Augie Rios

Bow's Song – He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/ And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! https://www.zazzle.com/bitchenboutique

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

Some of those conversations we had for the last episode went on for so long we haven't stopped talking yet! First, a little more about Walking Dead, Xena, and Star Trek. Then dumb people who get offended by cussing. (Fuck them.) The time Pitney called hotel security on his own party, and that other time his bare ass upset a sensitive soul. "A little drag, a little Star Trek." Then we can't help but break into some really old Doctor Who filk songs. Also, Amelia loves Jeff Goldblum and the rest of you bitches need to step aside. Our love of thrift stores (including a quick Verity story!) and the goodies we find there.

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/ And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! https://www.zazzle.com/bitchenboutique

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything!

We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

It's Thanksgiving time again, and we've got some new tales of gratitude for you!

Amelia talks about the radio program that's been inspiring her for almost a quarter century, and a TV show that finally lived up to its potential.

Pitney talks about how being fabulous enriches his life and how his friends are the most supportive family anyone could ask for.

And we give huge props to the #PodernFamily. They know why!

And then somehow there's a story about partying with the Soviet track team. You'll love it.

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/155973321651896/ And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! https://www.zazzle.com/bitchenboutique (Watch that Content Filter!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality