Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique

We're going LIVE on December 31st to ring in 2019 and celebrate our first 10,000 downloads! Hang out with us on Facebook Live starting at 10pm CST. Like our FB page and join our FB group to get all the latest info. (Details below.)

This year for Christmas we're exploring some corners of Europe whose traditions made us cringe and/or laugh. Learn all about the caganer, a vital part of any classy nativity scene! Hear about from whence children in Catalonia get their presents on Christmas morning! Did you know Santa has a black friend? Well, he's really white guy in blackface, but hey! It's festive!

Speaking of cringing, we kicked things off this year with a taste of the new Starbucks holiday beverage, the Juniper Latte. Why drink one yourself when you can listen to us sharing one?

Promos: 2 Skeptical Chaps and PodScure

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

This week brings more of the exquisite bitchiness you've come to expect from us. We complain about how weirdly strict some copyright laws are, our hatred of giant pickup trucks (and other douchemobiles), and the idiots that drive them. Then Pitney shares a story about a weirdo who yelled homophobic slurs at him at Target, and we chat about how fabulous shopping at the mall can be.

As of this week, we are only about 100 downloads away from the big 10K, and we promised to do something special for you when we hit that number. Tweet, DM, or email us your ideas, no matter how scandalous!

Promo: Whispered True Stories

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

(Yes, we went with another sequel title. We're gonna keep it up until we completely run out of ideas!)

A very happy Thanksgiving to our American listeners, and to everyone else, a reasonably good but unimportant Thursday in late November.

Once again, Pitney and Amelia talk about their gratitude for things that make them happy, such as: Food additives! The joy of righteous anger! Finding out a big-shot Republican is just a patriot for money! The big scary light being shone on everyday racism! Our friendship! Our puppies! And, of course, our devoted listeners. whoever you are!

Also, in a new Bitchen in the Kitchen segment, Amelia shares her secret for making the sweet potatoes she's famous for. You won't want to miss that!

As of this week, we are only about 200 downloads away from the big 10K, and we promised to do something special for you when we hit that number. Tweet, DM, or email us your ideas, no matter how scandalous!

Promos: The Retro Cinema Podcast and 2 Skeptical Chaps

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

It's almost Thanksgiving, so we offer a bounty of the sort of ridiculous and rambling conversation you expect from us! Abandoned birthday cake, horrid song lyrics, loud neighbor fights, the Cassidy brothers, Pitney's aversion to ugliness, the pain of pleurisy, stylish terrycloth short sets, window shopping via catalog, the glory of the station wagon, family vacations, Disney nightmares, and Harry Potter obsession! And you know there's more!

Promo: Work/Life Imbalance Podcast

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

Happy Halloween, y'all!

Did you know there are people determined to crap on your Halloween good time? People who think you're a horrible sinner for daring to have spooky fun on October 31st? You know who those people are? Evangelical Christians, of course! Hear what one "former Satanist" and a former teen heartthrob have to say about it, and then learn how the pious mommies in your neighborhood are going to try to make you their mission project!

Then we have a few laughs looking at some seriously stupid sexy-fill-in-the-blank Halloween costumes and reminisce about our experiences with full-body spandex. (Pro-tip: Control your fluid intake.)

Promos: Queens of the Damned Podcast and 2 Skeptical Chaps

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

Pitney found an old notebook filled with stories he wrote years ago, stories about his beloved characters Marcus and Mona of the planet Galleria, and this week we share a spooky Halloween story with you! Yes, you read correctly. Pitney and Amelia venture into the world of Scripted Audiodrama!!

Hear descriptions of glamourous Halloween outfits! Hear the squelching of grease in Latrino's castle! Hear the arrival of the Evil Princess Gertrude's spaceship! Hear the plop of grody bird poop! Hear more "likes" and "omigods" than in all of Moon Unit Zappa's Valley Girl!

Promos: None this week!

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

This episode was inspired by Jamel Miles, the sweet little nine year old boy in Denver, CO who committed suicide after being bullied in school for being gay. We share our experiences with bullying and the lasting effects it can have on the psyche. School bullies, masc-for-masc bullies in the gay community, family bullies, imaginary fascist bullies: we've got 'em all!

Then we go off on a bit of a Catholic tangent that we promise we'll come back to someday!

Promo: In Poor Taste

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

Pitney surprises Amelia with the bundle of fabulous extras that came with the Deadpool 2 Year Anniversary Edition Blu-Ray, and she squees over the Colorforms and whatnot. Then a bunch of Marvel movie talk ensued: Guardians of the Galaxy, Avengers Infinity War, etc etc. Amelia hates people who spoil movies, Pitney wants Rocket/Thor slashfic to exist. (We googled. It does. Because of course.)

A brief discussion of Benedict Cumberbatch occurs, and it turns out that Tricia Von Liechtenstein is VERY into him, even to the point of uncharacteristic lewdness. This reminds Pitney of something stupid she said about another actor she had a crush on. It's really REALLY stupid.

Fast forward to Amelia's trip to San Antonio and our visit to Hello Tallulah, a delightful shop filled with vintage clothing and accessories! We chatted with Kristina, the store's adorable pink-haired owner, who told us all about her wonderful business. You definitely need to stop by and see her when you're in town!

Promos: 2 Girls on a Bench and 2 Skeptical Chaps

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

We've been watching movies!

First, Pitney shares the plot of a trashy Lifetime movie they really enjoyed at the nursing home. Then he and Amelia talk about how wholesome Hallmark movies are, and how those stories always make the female leads look stupid. Pitney is VERY excited, however, about the dozens of new Christmas movies coming this season!

Then Pitney and Amelia talk about a terribly homophobic and utterly problematic cop movie from 1982 called Partners, starring Ryan O'Neal and John Hurt. There's no way to talk about this piece of crap without being offensive, so deal with it.

Finally, Amelia finds out what's up with that property Pitney's mom was selling in California, and comes up with a creative solution to get rid of those squatters once and for all!

Promo: Invasion of the Remake podcast

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

Sex! Sex! Sex! (Also gender!)

The more we think about gender, the more fascinated we are by even just the IDEA of it. What is a man? What is a woman? And why do some people refuse to bathe?

But first, Amelia is gonna drop some serious anthropology knowledge on ya, while she rips apart those paleo people and their stupid "this is how caveman ate" arguments.

Promos: the Retro Cinema podcast and 2 Skeptical Chaps

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality