Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique

Ah, Podcoin, we hardly knew ye.

So, this is really for the people who listen to us on Podcoin, but the rest of you might want to hear it, because it's goofy as hell.

The couple hundred of you who subscribed on Podcoin were loyal and awesome and we're really sorry that app is kaput in about a week, but we're hoping you hear this before it's all over! Please come find us on, like, ANY OTHER PODCAST PLAYER, because we're on 'em all.

Thanks for all the fun, and cash in those coins!!!

Remember when The Fabulous Steve was here? Well, we chatted with him about the days of personal ads, and how low-tech things were compared to the hookup apps of today. Pitney said he'd never used any of those apps and was pretty adamant about it. Then suddenly, his inner sex monster awakened and his phone was burning up with Grindr and Scruff! I know you want to hear why he says Grindr is the "armpit of the gay world." Hear the story of one especially trashy hookup he had to send packing, as well as some icky blind dates Amelia had back in the day. And there's a bedbug outbreak in San Antonio that originates in the seediest of places!

This week's Year of the Vagina lesson is all about the "husband stitch." You're gonna get mad.

Promos: a special #AllTheHorror message from the Brook Reading Podcast! (Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Have you heard of the new Podcoin app? It's pretty damn cool. Sign up using our special code, BITCHENPOD, and start your account with 300 coins! Then every time you listen to our podcast (or anyone else's), more coins! And during weeks when we're designated as a "bonus" podcast, you can earn those coins at an even faster rate, then cash em in later to buy giftcards or donate to charity. The app is free on iPhone and Android, and it only takes a minute to register. And don't forget that code!

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

Itching for more horror content? Well, mark your calendars, because ALL THE HORROR 2019 IS COMING!

Sometimes horror movies come out that modern pagans are afraid will tarnish their reputations. Midsommar was one of those movies. But Pitney saw it and it's totally fine. Weird and freaky, but not offensive to his Wiccan sensibilities! Hear what he thought about its creepy themes and supposedly feminist outcome. Then we also talk about the movie The Witch, which Wiccans had issues with, but we think it's just fine.

And in this week's Year of the Vagina segment, learn all about how much women hate the speculum! And click HERE to find out about a modern redesign that will probably never see the light of day, or the dark of vaginas, for that matter. Promos: #AllTheHorror, Florida Men and 2 Skeptical Chaps

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Have you heard of the new Podcoin app? It's pretty damn cool. Sign up using our special code, BITCHENPOD, and start your account with 300 coins! Then every time you listen to our podcast (or anyone else's), more coins! And during weeks when we're designated as a "bonus" podcast, you can earn those coins at an even faster rate, then cash em in later to buy giftcards or donate to charity. The app is free on iPhone and Android, and it only takes a minute to register. And don't forget that code!

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

Have you ever felt like you don't belong? Nerds feel that way a lot. But what if the fandom you're into isn't into you? Or what if you love a band/movie/show/etc but can't get down with the other fans because you're not extreme enough? This week, we talk about not fitting in with superfans.

Vaginal flora! It could save your life! Learn all about your junk's awesome bacterial colony.

Promo: #AllTheHorror! (Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Have you heard of the new Podcoin app? It's pretty damn cool. Sign up using our special code, BITCHENPOD, and start your account with 300 coins! Then every time you listen to our podcast (or anyone else's), more coins! And during weeks when we're designated as a "bonus" podcast, you can earn those coins at an even faster rate, then cash em in later to buy giftcards or donate to charity. The app is free on iPhone and Android, and it only takes a minute to register. And don't forget that code!

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

It's another episode featuring The Fabulous Steve!

This week, Pitney and Steve tell Amelia stories about the fun they had at the Kerrville Folk Festival. Imagine camping in 100 degree weather for weeks on a ranch. Amelia CANNOT. I mean, the toilet situation alone! Would you go to a music festival if you weren't interested in the music? Pitney almost never pays attention to the music at KFF, and he goes every year. And laugh along at stories about Kim or Yip or Eek or whatever that tweaky weirdo's name was.

And welcome back Jess and Philippa from the Everything is Awful Forever podcast, telling us more facts about vagina demons in Japan!

Promos: Podscure and 2 Skeptical Chaps (Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Have you heard of the new Podcoin app? It's pretty damn cool. Sign up using our special code, BITCHENPOD, and start your account with 300 coins! Then every time you listen to our podcast (or anyone else's), more coins! And during weeks when we're designated as a "bonus" podcast, you can earn those coins at an even faster rate, then cash em in later to buy giftcards or donate to charity. The app is free on iPhone and Android, and it only takes a minute to register. And don't forget that code!

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

(Go listen to our last episode if you didn't hear the first part of When Friendship Ends Ugly. We'll still be here when you're done.)

This week picks up where last week left off, after Amelia talked about using a guided meditation to help her say goodbye to the friend who dumped her, with more talk about the usefulness of those sorts of recordings. Then, of course, we talk about guided meditations that completely suck in the most awful ways.

Remember that time in our first year when we did the episode about how we hate people who are determined to live in misery? Well, this time we're bitching about the new agey dumbasses who never shut up about "love and light." Refusing to ever feel sorrow or anger or fear means refusing to live a full life as a human.

And because we're not done being mad, we keep talking about the men who abandoned us.

Then, last but not least, therapists. Some are great, some are meh, and some are horrible. Get ready for a name you may hear more of in the future because Amelia has become OBSESSED with saying it in a tone.

And in this week's Year of the Vagina segment, you're going to hear about the G-spot and a ridiculous procedure that allegedly makes it happier. Ugh. Whatever.

Promo: Work/Life Imbalance (Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Have you heard of the new Podcoin app? It's pretty damn cool. Sign up using our special code, BITCHENPOD, and start your account with 300 coins! Then every time you listen to our podcast (or anyone else's), more coins! And during weeks when we're designated as a "bonus" podcast, you can earn those coins at an even faster rate, then cash em in later to buy giftcards or donate to charity. The app is free on iPhone and Android, and it only takes a minute to register. And don't forget that code!

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

Pardon the background noise in this episode. Amelia drove down to San Antonio to hang with Pitney and a bunch of doggies, and we recorded a long conversation that's going to stretch out over two episodes! (Sorry things cut off so abruptly there at the end of this one!)

Pitney hosted a Litha gathering at his house on the night of the Solstice, so we talked a bit about writing rituals and what an outlet that can be for Pitney's creativity. Then we reminisced about the coven he used to be in, which took us to a story about a falling out with another member of his order. Actually, "a falling out" isn't strong enough. That witch tried to destroy his reputation, so he retaliated! It's pretty amazing.

But the story of the pain of the end of that friendship led to Amelia telling a story of an ugly de-friending she's been dealing with recently, and the steps she took to heal from the pain, which included a powerful ritual.

Then we laugh about the people who think "love and light" will solve all the world's problems, including the pain of relationships falling apart.

And in this week's Year of the Vagina segment, Amelia yells at stupid women who ended up in the emergency room because of a moronic DIY method of ending their menstrual periods. Idiots!

Promo: 2 Skeptical Chaps and Lady Bitch Time (Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Have you heard of the new Podcoin app? It's pretty damn cool. Sign up using our special code, BITCHENPOD, and start your account with 300 coins! Then every time you listen to our podcast (or anyone else's), more coins! And during weeks when we're designated as a "bonus" podcast, you can earn those coins at an even faster rate, then cash em in later to buy giftcards or donate to charity. The app is free on iPhone and Android, and it only takes a minute to register. And don't forget that code!

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

Happy Pride, y'all!

It's the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, which were just shy of a month before Amelia was born! COINCIDENCE?

To celebrate that bit of LGBTQ history, we'd like to share some of our own history, with our good friend The Fabulous Steve! Steve lived it up in the 1970s and 1980s, and we recorded hours and hours of conversation with him. (Much of it will be featured in future episodes.)

The early years of the AIDS crisis, back when nobody really knew what was going on. The lack of appeal of safe sex. (We're just being honest!) And a quick aside from Amelia about dental dams!

Life in the Castro. The riot following Dan white's whopping seven-year sentence for the murders of Mayor George Moscone and Harvey Milk. The first gay bar with windows. Getting arrested for being "too gay." How fabulous Janet Mock is.

The glory days of gayborhoods. Amelia's cousin has dirt on the rich and famous. When all those gorgeous actors from the Golden Age of Hollywood were just waiting for the right girl. Steve loves Lily Tomlin for The Celluloid Closet.

A huge scandalous bronze statue that still fascinates Pitney. The desire for separate spaces and the right to avoid bachelorette parties wherever you are.

Grindr vs the efficiency of "the back room." The guy carrying the five gallon bucket of lube, and the other guy carrying the garbage bag of motor oil. Your kink cannot compare.

Promo: FriGay the 13th (Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Have you heard of the new Podcoin app? It's pretty damn cool. Sign up using our special code, BITCHENPOD, and start your account with 300 coins! Then every time you listen to our podcast (or anyone else's), more coins! And during weeks when we're desgnated as a "bonus" podcast, you can earn those coins at an even faster rate, then cash em in later to buy giftcards or donate to charity. The app is free on iPhone and Android, and it only takes a minute to register. And don't forget that code!

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

Pitney recounts a funny article on the 2 Skeptical Chaps Facebook page (you really should be following them!), which kicks off a discussion about the types of bumper stickers that idiots put on their cars. Then Amelia vents about how nobody knows how to drive any more. Do people still take driver's ed? Because they sure don't act like it.

Also, a quick story about the disgusting hovel where Tricia Von Liechtenstein lives.

Plus, for your Year of the Vagina pleasure, a visit to the wandering wombs of ancient Greece with your guides, Philippa and Jess of Everything is Awful Forever!

Promos: 2 Skeptical Chaps and Things Joe Hates (Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page!

Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Have you heard of the new Podcoin app? It's pretty damn cool. Sign up using our special code, BITCHENPOD, and start your account with 300 coins! Then every time you listen to our podcast (or anyone else's), more coins! And during weeks when we're desgnated as a "bonus" podcast, you can earn those coins at an even faster rate, then cash em in later to buy giftcards or donate to charity. The app is free on iPhone and Android, and it only takes a minute to register. And don't forget that code!

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

It's the third anniversary of our first episode! We're amazed we're still here, and we've got all of you to thank for that. Drop us a line so we can thank you individually!

This week we're talking about addiction. We've mentioned before that Pitney has had some battles with alcoholism over the years, and Amelia was a problem pill popper. We're going to tell you about all of it. What it's like to be an addict. What it's like to be close to an addict. what it's like to lose an addict you love. All those lies that addicts tell themselves and their friends. Things addicts insist are true, but they're full of crap. We pull no punches, and you might hear some things discussed that you never expected. But, as always, we laugh a lot.

(And for your Year of the Vagina pleasure, the effects of opioid abuse on cooch function!)

And if you're an addict, or you think you might be, there's no shame in asking for help. If you're not sure who to talk to, there's always us. We mean it.

Promo: 2 Girls on a Bench

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

Have you heard of the new Podcoin app? It's pretty damn cool. Sign up using our special code, BITCHENPOD, and start your account with 300 coins! Then every time you listen to our podcast (or anyone else's), more coins! And during weeks when we're desgnated as a "bonus" podcast, you can earn those coins at an even faster rate, then cash em in later to buy giftcards or donate to charity. The app is free on iPhone and Android, and it only takes a minute to register. And don't forget that code!

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality