Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique

It's that time of year again: Our TEXAS FRIGHTMARE WEEKEND SPECIAL!

As always, we recorded in the car on the drive home from Dallas, and reminisced about the great time we had at Texas Frightmare Weekend. Hear all about us meeting Tim Curry (yes, THE Tim Curry) and how amazing the con staff was at handling the enormous crowds who showed up to get a glimpse of his greatness, and some crazy stories from the bar at the Hyatt Regency, one of our favorite places on Earth. Enjoy this week's Year of the Vagina segment, which teaches you everything you never knew you always wanted to know about VAGINA DENTATA. Also, since we were cruising down IH-35 at the time, we couldn't help but comment on things we passed on the road!

And as a special treat, we were joined by Todd (aka the Horror Nerd) from the Imaginaruim podcast to talk about how some people say that there's no good horror any more, and how those people are STUPID.

How to find Todd: https://horrornerd.net https://theimaginariumpodcast.podbean.com/ https://podcastcity.net

Promos: 2 Skeptical Chaps and Queens of the Damned

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

Have you heard of the new Podcoin app? It's pretty damn cool. Sign up using our special code, BITCHENPOD, and start your account with 300 coins! Then every time you listen to our podcast (or anyone else's), more coins! And during weeks when we're designated as a "bonus" podcast, you can earn those coins at an even faster rate, then cash em in later to buy gift cards or donate to charity. The app is free on iPhone and Android, and it only takes a minute to register. And don't forget that code!

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

First up, have you heard of the new Podcoin app? It's pretty damn cool. Sign up using our special code, BITCHENPOD, and start your account with 300 coins! Then every time you listen to our podcast (or anyone else's), more coins! And during weeks when we're designated as a "bonus" podcast, you can earn those coins at an even faster rate, then cash em in later to buy gift cards or donate to charity. The app is free on iPhone and Android, and it only takes a minute to register. And don't forget that code!

Are there things that people assume about you? Pitney tells a story of a couple you would NEVER guess voted for Donald Trump, and it send us down a crazy path where we talk about things people would never guess about us. Like how people assume Pitney smokes a lot of pot. Or how Amelia was a "total slut' in junior high. Then we talk about ways you can look that feel comfortable and fabulous but really are just a costume. And before you know it, we reveal two singers we love that may surprise you!

Oh, and this week's Year of the Vagina segment is a product review! Find out what Amelia has been smearing on her nethers!

Promos: Lady Bitch Time

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

We did it. We finally watched the Leaving NeverLand documentary. We weren't sure how it would affect us, but it definitely changed our minds about a lot. Some things, though, haven't changed a bit.

Hear our history with Michael and the Jackson 5, the music and the hoopla; our opinions about past allegations and where we sit now with the history of the families damaged by the desire to be close to celebrity.

(And can we talk about Oprah's hair a minute? Because what's going on there??)

Promos: Invasion of the Remake and 2 Skeptical Chaps

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

Pitney and Amelia and flora and fauna. Amelia likes nature, as long as it's not too natural. Pitney's Easter lily has been resurrected from the dead, in fulfillment of the scriptures. Amelia wants people to stop giving her orchids. Pitney wants all sunlight to be banished from his home.

This episode's YOTV segment actually features Pitney. He saw a coochie once, and it scarred him for life. Amelia provided him with visual aids to help him help her imagine just what he saw. Trust us, you will love the story of "the throbbing thumb." And ladies, you look fine. It's LOVELY. Stop obsessing. You don't need a lip tuck.

Even Amelia didn't remember the origin of Pitney's obsession with "dips." But you may never forget it. Nor will you forget the weird references to The Barbarian Princess, a favorite romance novel that may be revisited in the future!

Promo: I Shake My Head

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

We had a whole show ready to go, and then Amelia had to be rushed to the emergency room in an ambulance! Of course we had to quickly record her telling Pitney all about it. So the first 30 minutes of the show were tacked on at the last minute. (Sorry the sound is a little tinny on this segment. And the rest was recorded over Skype. We make do when it's not ideal!)

Pitney accidentally offends the old ladies at work. Our impressions of Drs. Phil and Laura and the people who actively screw up their own lives. Those obnoxious women who believe that all women MUST want to want children and will harrass strangers about it. Amelia changes Dr. Laura's mind. Are fertility treatments the ultimate act of vanity? Adoption is awesome. Parenting on purpose. Pitney doesn't hate ALL kids, just YOUR kids.

(Yeah, this one might piss some people off. Bring it.)

Don't forget 2019 is the Year of the Vagina! This week we are visited by Siana and Tricia from the 2 Girls on a Bench podcast! Hear them tell incredibly silly vaginal anecdotes!

Promo: Things Joe Hates and 2 Skeptical Chaps

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

This week we tend to hover around the crotch area. We swear it wasn't intentional.

First up, Amelia shares the story of a weird chocolate treat with Pitney. Edible anuses. Yep, that's right. Then Pitney brings up the insane and splattery idea of enema-themed performance art, which reminds Amelia of the time Annie Sprinkle toured the country inviting audiences to view her cervix.

You already know Pitney's dad is a creep. But now you get to hear an especially creepy story about him. It's so gross, you guys. You'll never think of cheesecake the same way again.

You know what else is gross? Sharing porn with your friends. Don't do that. Eww.

(Oh, and that song we were talking about? You really need to hear it. Pop You in the Pooper by Jeff Stryker)

Boy oh boy, a lot of women really REALLY loved Fabio back in the day. We fantasize about a cruise ship filled with Fabio fans. And do you remember the Topaz Man? Amelia does!

Pitney loves Paris Hilton's album. A lot. And once he screamed so loudly at TV news coverage of her arrest that a neighbor came over to make sure everything was okay.

Don't forget 2019 is the Year of the Vagina! Please enjoy an educational segment where Amelia talks about the location and structure of the clitoris. Your study material for this week: Cliteracy101 and the audiobook "The Button," by @WednesdayMartin, PhD. Follow her on Twitter!

Promo: Work/Life Imbalance

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

Continuing our discussion of happy memories, we venture into our nerdy pasts!

Amelia's first convention was TimeCon '84 in San Jose, California, which was an epic event for numerous reasons, but her fondest memories of that weekend all involve Jon Pertwee, star of Doctor Who from 1970 to 1974. He was incredibly kind to dorky, fifteen year old Amelia, ad she's got stories (and a cherished photo) to prove it!

WesterCon '83 may not have been Pitney's first convention, but it was the first to blow his mind. Are you ready to hear the adorable story of young Pitney seeing his first homosexual in the wild?

And what would be memories of fandom without a bit of Verity and Tricia?

Then there was the tragic tale of Pitney's Doctor Who autograph collection. Grab a hanky.

And last but not least, a quick story about Pitney going to Target and learning about Galentine's Day.

(Do you know whose TimeCon nametag that is? Be the first to identify "Theta Sigma" in an email to us and Amelia will give you a present!)

Don't forget 2019 is the Year of the Vagina! Please enjoy a segment from the delightful Kim, traveling ER nurse and host of People Are Wild! WARNING: this one might hurt a bit.

Promo: 2 Skeptical Chaps and We Watched a Thing

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

Lots of happy memories in this week's episode! Amelia took her dad to a big Star Trek event where William Shatner did a Q&A. Hear all about where she gets her love of all things Trekkie.

Pitney recalls a rare happy memory of his father. (If you remember, his father was pretty scary. Check out our episode about the Mafia for more information about him!)

Amelia and her mom and their love of Little Shop of Horrors. Pitney and his mom and her love of loudly cussing at people.

Don't forget 2019 is the Year of the Vagina! Please enjoy a segment from our first guest vaginas, Lisa and Sam from I Shake My Head!

Promo: Very Dark Very Quick

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

Hey! Did you catch our LIVE two-hour New Year's Eve party? Check it out!

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

Riding a scooter around a Walmart parking lot drinking wine out of a Pringles can at 6:30am? Sounds like a great way to start a show!

Amelia really gets perturbed when someone swipes through her photos on her phone without permission, and also how dare you assume she wants your dog to run at her dog just because you think your dog is nice. Pitney goes on yet another rant about how disgusted he is by TV commercials. You know how he hates eczema and people acting happy. We also reminisce briefly about those old Joe Namath pantyhose ads and nothing coming between Brooke Shields and her Calvins. And when did Glenn close turn into Robin Williams?

Stop telling us to watch your favorite movies and TV shows. We're not going to watch them. The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai. Young Sherlock Holmes. Avatar. The Princess Bride. It's a Wonderful Life. Game of Thrones. Breaking Bad. The Wire. Mad Men. Veep. Lost. Charmed. Buffy. WE HAVE REASONS!

And don't forget it's the Year of the Vagina! Please enjoy a segment about why people are so freaked out by using the real names for their body parts.

Promos: 2 Skeptical Chaps and I Shake My Head

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

Hey! Did you catch our LIVE two-hour New Year's Eve party? Check it out!

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality

First up, a promo for a special series of segments for 2019: The Year of the Vagina!

Have you ever been in therapy? Have you ever been treated for a mental illness? Do you think you might need help? We know all about that. Hear Pitney and Amelia discussing their experiences with depression, anxiety, anger issues, and addiction. It's not the first time we've talked about this stuff, and it won't be the last, but it's the first time we've devoted an entire episode to how messed up we are! (Except for the part where Amelia talks about vaginas. But that's like a minute.)

Promo: 2 Girls on a Bench

(Want to swap show promos? Email us!)

Hey! Did you catch our LIVE two-hour New Year's Eve party? Check it out!

We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us, and earn a STICKER! (Everyone loves stickers!) And please subscribe or add us to your favorites list on your favorite platform so you never miss a show! And share us with your cool friends, not the lame ones.

Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at [email protected]! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Stay up to date by liking our Facebook page! Join the conversation over at our Facebook group! And if you're feeling generous, buy yourself a little something at our Zazzle shop and help to support our show! (Turn off that Content Filter to see the "uncensored" merch!)

Who the heck are Pitney and Amelia? A gay guy and his fat friend talking about everything! We've got over 30 years of stories to share about stuff we love, stuff that annoys us, people we've known, places we've been, and things we've seen. Geeky, silly, and always opinionated. NAMES ARE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY!

We may be awful, but we're right!

New episodes every other Friday. Recorded close enough to Austin, Texas to help with their weirdness factor.

LGBTQ | Comedy | Pop Culture | Nerd Culture | Horror | Spirituality