PLAYING-IT-SAFE

Are you an overachiever?

Some perfectionistic traits - e.g., being hardworking or paying attention to details - can be extremely handy. But what happens when you don’t do things in moderation and feel compelled to do more and more, do everything right, and avoid mistakes?

In this episode, I chat with Clarissa Ong, Ph.D., about her work on perfectionism.

We discussed in detail:

• The coherence trap
• Meta-awareness: awareness about awareness
• Exposure exercises as awareness exercises
• Motivational flexibility 
• Uncertainty workouts
• Self-compassion practices

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

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To be human is to experience worry, fear, anxiety, and stress. To be human is to play-it-safe.

But how do you handle those internal reactions when encountering life-threatening situations?

What if being exposed to those unusual situations is part of your day-to-day life?

Today, I share a special interview with Lance Morrison, former Captain Police Officer.

You will hear different micro-skills Lance uses to handle life-threatening situations such as:

• Focusing on one thing at a time.
• Compassion-based responses
• Focusing on what matters
• Exercising

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

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This is a super special interview with one of my favorite colleagues and author, Jonathan Kaplan, author of “Urban Mindfulness.”

In this conversation we discussed:

• One of Jonathan’s favorite mindfulness exercises: sending warm wishes to people around you
• Why playing-it-safe behaviors are natural
• What is a playing-it-safe move
• Two skills to distinguish effective playing-it-safe moves from ineffective ones
• How to handle uncertainty
• How to handle ruling-thoughts about thinking (metacognitions)

In the middle of the conversation, you will hear me practicing “how to say” one of my favorite words in English, and one of Jonathan’s favorite jokes related to anxiety and playing-it-safe.

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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• Have you ever felt anxious when driving?
• Have you ever had a panic attack?
• Have you ever felt an unexpected tingling sensation in your arm?
• Do you know how it feels when running a marathon?
• Have you ever pushed your body beyond your limits?

In all those scenarios, it’s quite likely you're going to experience some form of bodily-based sensation, and naturally, your brain is going to “make sense of it” by either perceiving it as a threat or as an insignificant sensation.

If your brain perceives those sensations as a threat, it will naturally push you to play-it-safe.

In this conversation with Dr. Diana Hill, you will learn specific skills to handle those uncomfortable bodily sensations, slow down, and fundamentally choose your response.

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In today’s episode of the Playing-It-Safe podcast, Dr. Z. and Lou Lasprugrato, MFT, discuss the various Acceptance and Commitment Skills (ACT) and how they apply to our day-to-day life.

ACT skills are applicable not just for therapy or coaching but as a way of living life. At the end of the day, real change happens by taking action, one action after another.

What we discussed with Lou Lasprugato:

• How playing-it-safe moves are part of our day-to-day life
• What is perspective-taking or self-as-context within the ACT model
• 4 ways to think about self-as-context
• How to make values-based choices on-the-go
• How the 6 ACT processes are intertwined  
• What's aversive and what's appetitive when looking at your actions

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Michael P. Twohig, Ph.D. is the co-director of the ACT Research Group, a licensed psychologist in the state of Utah, and a Professor of Psychology at Utah State University.

In this episode, I chat with Michael about his research on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) on perfectionism, we discuss in particular, one of the papers published in his lab: A randomized controlled trial of acceptance and commitment therapy for clinical perfectionism (2019).

We chatted about the neurological screenings participants completed, the challenging moments of participants being attached to rules about how things are supposed to be, and how distinguishing helpful versus unhelpful perfectionistic actions is introduced in the study.

You will also hear Michael sharing one of his favorite metaphors to facilitate behavioral flexibility.

• Instagram: Dr. Z.  https://www.instagram.com/dr.z.passionatebehaviorist/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrZ_behaviorist
• Dr. Z’s website: www.thisisdoctorz.com
• Dr. Z’s therapy/coaching website: www.eastbaybehaviortherapycenter.com

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Self-criticism is a classic playing-it-safe move. What are the harsh criticisms that your mind come up with? How do you handle them? Do you try to replace them with positive thoughts? Do you do more with your life? Do you try to prove yourself that you are an okay person?

I ask all these questions to Dr. Christopher Willard, an expert on mindfulness and self-compassion.

In my conversation with Chris you will hear about:

• The purpose or the function of self-criticism. Why do we do it?
• The difference between self-compassion and self-esteem
• How to handle thoughts like “harsh criticism motivates me or I don’t deserve to be kind to myself”
• The difference between gratitude practices and toxic positivity
• How to practice gratitude
• What the default mode network is
• Chris’s upcoming book on resilience
• How to develop a perspective-taking.

Chris is a psychologist and an educational consultant, specializing in mindfulness. He serves on the board of directors at the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy, and is the president of the Mindfulness in Education Network. He is the author of Child’s Mind (2010), Growing Up Mindful (2016), Raising Resilience (2017), and eight other books for parents, professionals, and children. He also teaches at Harvard Medical School.

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dealing effectively with anxiety and the discomfort that comes with it is a fundamental skill. It allows you to do what you care about and excel in life, especially when facing unfamiliar situations or unpleasant moments.

In this episode, I interviewed Dr. Joel Minden. ​​He is the director of the Chico Center for Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Diplomate of the Academy of Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies (A-CBT), and the author of the anxiety management self-help book, “Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss.” 

In this interview, Joel and I discussed:

- Three particular skills to manage anxiety

(based on the book “Show Your Anxiety Who’s Boss”)

- How to practice acceptance when dealing with anxious thoughts

- How to deal with uncertainty

- How to practice exposure exercises

- Misconceptions about behaviorism

And you will also listen to an acronym that Joel uses in his work and how I get playful when he shares it. Stay tuned!!!

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

• Do you deeply care about what you do that you don't measure what it takes you to accomplish a goal?
• Are you a very conscientious person that struggles to do things that are not-good-enough?
• Are you super-committed to the projects you participate in that you forget to eat, sleep, or hang out with your friends at times?
• Are you often preoccupied with thoughts about "I must do well, otherwise I'm bad?"
• Are grit and discipline hurting you?

Perfectionistic actions can keep you in a "perfect trap," but it doesn't have to be all bad. You can learn acceptance and commitment skills to release the shackles of perfectionistic actions without losing yourself and its benefits.

There are three important questions for you to answer to figure out whether your perfectionistic actions are working for you or against you.

In this episode, you will listen to an episode from the Audiobook The Upside of Perfectionism: An Acceptance and Commitment Skills

ACT Focused Coaching

If you have specific questions about perfectionistic actions, have been dealing with them for a long time, and want to take things a step further, you can get 1:1 coaching to unpack those specific sticky moments.

In the coaching session, I’ll provide you with:

• A roadmap to get unstuck from any form of striving, high-achieving, and perfectionistic behaviors you’re dealing with.
• Compassionate and research-based skills to handle moments of stuckness.
• ACT skills to enjoy the golden nuggets of striving, perfectionistic, and high-achieving behaviors without hundreds of hours of self-criticism, worrying, and sleepless nights.
• Actionable skills to do what you care about – according to your standards – without hurting your relationships or the relationship with yourself.

Get the ACT AUDIO-GUIDE & COACHING here: https://bit.ly/3QlagBk

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you transition from high school to college – as it’s called in the United States – or to a University – as it’s called in other parts of the world, such as South America or Europe – you go through a significant life adjustment.

As exciting as it is, there are also a lot of changes happening at once: you need to introduce yourself to new people, get adjusted to living at a different location, be in charge of your own meals, attend classes very early in the morning, speak with the register’s office if something is off, trying to fit in with your new peers, and even finding new hobbies. On top of that, you have to manage fears of failing, dealing with test anxiety, saying the wrong thing or acting in the wrong way to the point that you may engage in playing-it-safe actions like procrastinating, skipping classes, avoiding submitting a paper if it’s not perfect, and many more.

In this episode, I chat with Nic Hooper, a clinical psychologist and a senior lecturer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy at Cardiff University in England. 

In 2017 Nic Hooper, began to write a book of life advice to his son, Max, which was to be given to him on his eighteenth birthday. Over time, that book slowly transformed into The Unbreakable Student.

This is an authentic conversation that places values at the forefront.

You will listen in particular about:

• Six ways to wellbeing
• How to commit to your values
• How to practice defusion
• How Nic learned to relate to his fears of being a failure
• How living our values has transformed Nic’s and my life.

Nic’s website: nichooper.co.uk

Follow Nic’s on twitter @nichooper7

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.