PLAYING-IT-SAFE

Today I have the pleasure to share an interview with Natasha Daniels, MFT, a mental health clinician, author, podcaster and founder of the community AT Parenting.

In our conversation, Natasha and I talked about different playing-it-safe moves when dealing with the fear of social rejection or not fitting in with others.

This is a raw and honest conversation about how Natasha navigated those fears with the added benefits of exposure and self-compassion!

Let’s be honest, sometimes, we are afraid of being rejected by people we care about and also by those we don’t even know.

If you haven’t subscribed to our podcast, please do so!

Natasha's Instagram: @atparentingsurvival

Natasha's Twitter: @atsurvival

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One way in which we play-it-safe is by delaying projects, tasks, and shooting for perfection.

In this conversation, visual illustrator, Janis Ozolins, shares how he handles self-doubtful thoughts, perfectionist tendencies, and negative feedback when sharing his illustrations on his platform.

It was special to hear from Janis how he, as a content creator, navigates the internal discomfort that comes when exposing your creative work to the world. An important aspect of Janis’ work is his desire to create value in his illustrations, which can be challenging when your mind pushes you to play-it-safe.

IMPORTANT NEWS: AUDIO GUIDE FOR PERFECTIONISM AND HIGH-ACHIEVING ACTIONS

Do you feel like whatever you do, is never enough?

It is hard for you to sit down and just relax, or have fun?

Do you tend to overextend yourself, but you often don’t realize this until after the fact?

Do you get anxious about the idea of letting people down?

Do you hate ambiguity, you want to know “what, when, and how,” and you want to know it “Now?"

Do you focus on what you are failing to do versus what you accomplish?

If you said YES! to at least 3 of the statements above, this audio-guide is for you!

Learning to tackle all the behaviors associated with perfectionism is key to living a meaningful life. In this audio guide, you will learn 10 key ideas to tackle perfectionism and high-achieving behaviors based on Acceptance and Commitment Training.

Get your audio guide: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/act-for-perfectionism-and-high-achieving-behaviors/

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Repetitive negative thinking (RNT) is a core feature of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and depression. Recently, some studies have shown promising results with brief protocols of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) focused on RNT in the treatment of emotional disorders in adults. The current study analyzes the effect of an individual, 3-session, RNT-focused ACT protocol in the treatment of severe and comorbid GAD and depression.

Dr. Francisco J. Ruiz is among the world’s leading experts on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Relational Frame Theory (RFT). He is currently a Professor in the area of Clinical and Experimental Psychology at the Konrad Lorenz University Foundation in Bogotá, Colombia.

Specifically, Dr Ruiz’s work has focused on developing an ACT-based intervention model designed to dismantle dysfunctional patterns of Repetitive Negative Thinking (RNT), including worry and rumination, know as RNT-focused ACT. He has published more than 75 articles in peer-reviewed journals and served on several editorial boards, including the Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, International Journal of Psychology and Psychological Therapy, and Frontiers in Psychology.

Among Dr. Ruiz’s honors is his appointment as Distinguished Researcher Juan Alberto Aragón at the Konrad Lorenz University Foundation.

In this episode, you will hear:

• What is repetitive negative thinking
• How acceptance and commitment therapy can help you to tackle persistent thoughts about the past or the future
• What defusion is
• What willingness is

Resources for Francisco:

• Francisco Ruiz’s lab
• Acceptance and commitment therapy
• Relational Frame Theory of Language

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). 

Cognitive Behavior Therapy traditionally has been focused on delivering specific treatment protocols for specific struggles; for instance, if you were dealing with fears of public speaking as we see in social anxiety, then there was a treatment protocol for you to get better or sometimes five different treatment protocols that you could choose from, based on the clinician you worked with If you were dealing with panic attacks, there was a specific treatment protocol for it. 

However, since 2000 Cognitive Behavior Therapy has moved from having a single protocol for a specific disorder - social anxiety, panic, etc- to have a unified protocol for multiple struggles because, in the case of anxiety, for example, it’s much more common to struggle with different types of fears than a single one. So if you’re dealing with attacks it’s also possible that you're dealing with chronic worry, or if you’re dealing with chronic worry it’s also possible that you’re struggling with fears of public speaking. Today I have a chance to speak with Dr. David Barlow, the developer of the Unified Protocol.

In this part 2 of our conversation, you will hear:

• The basics of a Unified protocol in cognitive Behavior Therapy
• What is avoidance and how it works
• What’s negative affect and how it works
• What’s neuroticism and how it works
• Why is important to understand emotions
• What are temperamental personality factors

You will also hear me asking Dr. Barlow for permission to be sassy and ask controversial questions.

• What’s a process in behavior therapy?
• Is process-based therapy different from the unified protocol?
• What is a transdiagnostic process: is an intervention different than a process? Is a transdiagnostic process a way in which people cope with internal experiences?

Tune in, you don't want to miss how cognitive behaviorists are thinking of therapy these days and how this informs your experience in therapy or coaching when dealing with fear-based struggles.

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). 

Cognitive Behavior Therapy traditionally has been focused on delivering specific treatment protocols for specific struggles; for instance, if you were dealing with fears of public speaking as we see in social anxiety, then there was a treatment protocol for you to get better or sometimes five different treatment protocols that you could choose from, based on the clinician you worked with If you were dealing with panic attacks, there was a specific treatment protocol for it. 

However, since 2000 Cognitive Behavior Therapy has moved from having a single protocol for a specific disorder - social anxiety, panic, etc- to have a unified protocol for multiple struggles because, in the case of anxiety, for example, it’s much more common to struggle with different types of fears than a single one. So if you’re dealing with attacks it’s also possible that you're dealing with chronic worry, or if you’re dealing with chronic worry it’s also possible that you’re struggling with fears of public speaking. Today I have a chance to speak with Dr. David Barlow, the developer of the Unified Protocol.

In this part 1 of our conversation, you will hear:

• The basics of a Unified protocol in cognitive Behavior Therapy
• What is avoidance and how it works
• What’s negative affect and how it works
• What’s neuroticism and how it works
• Why is important to understand emotions
• What are temperamental personality factors

You will also hear me asking Dr. Barlow for permission to be sassy and ask controversial questions:

• What’s a process in behavior therapy?
• Is process-based therapy different from the unified protocol?
• What is a transdiagnostic process: is an intervention different than a process? Is a transdiagnostic process a way in which people cope with internal experiences?

Tune in, you don't want to miss how cognitive behaviorists are thinking of therapy these days and how this informs your experience in therapy or coaching when dealing with fear-based struggles.

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How to cultivate loneliness & why it is important to do so:

Most people are uncomfortable with loneliness because it means facing yourself without distractions. 

But, as much as you don’t like it, you can learn from it and perhaps even cultivate it.

Sometimes, without realizing and other times, intentionally. We do all types of things to avoid feeling lonely and to manage our sense of loneliness.. 

But, how do those strategies work in our life? And if they’re not working, what can you do about it…that’s what this episode is about!

In this episode, you will be invited to:

• Reflect on how you handle loneliness
• Your playing-it-safe moves when feeling alone 
• How to cultivate loneliness without losing yourself

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“The average human lifespan is absurd, terrifying, insultingly short. But that isn’t a reason for unremitting despair or for living in an anxiety-fueled panic about making the most of your limited time. It’s a cause for relief. You get to give up on something that was always impossible - the quest to become the optimized, infinitely capable, emotionally, invincible, fully independent person you’re officially supposed to be. Then you get to roll up your sleeves and start work on that’s gloriously possible instead.” 

In the information era, it’s natural that everyone talks about productivity and how to do things. But Oliver Burkeman has a different take: “actually, you can’t do anything and you need to come to terms with that…” 

In this second part of my conversation with Oliver Burkeman, we discussed:

• How Oliver manages his worries, fears, and anxieties
• How Oliver manages negative thoughts
• What bothers him about self-psychology
• What emotions are 
• His thoughts on the notion of work-life balance

This conversation with Oliver reminds me of the preciousness of being alive and that, we’re all in the process of learning and re-learning what works in life!

Hope you enjoy the episode!!!

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It was an honor to chat with Oliver Burkeman, columnist for the Guardian, journalist by training, and author of the books: “4000 weeks: time management for mortals and happiness: the antidote for people who can’t stand positive thinking.”

I have been following Oliver’s work for years and had so many questions to ask him, but of course, there were time constraints. So I did my best to ask him about his writing process and the story behind his books, how he practices acceptance, gratitude, and other psychological processes, and his take on some sassy comments he has made over the years.

If you haven’t read Oliver’s books, I highly recommend them! He’s one of those writers that do a fantastic job sharing science in a story format, and he does it so elegantly that after you read either a chapter he wrote or his column in the Guardian, you want to read more.

This conversation has 3 segments:

• Oliver’s writing process and how he handles interruptions, self-criticism, time anxiety, and comparison thoughts related to writing.
• How Oliver experiences gratitude, acceptance, and approaches day-to-day challenges.
• Oliver’s take on different topics: the problem with self-help books, what emotions are, the difference between meaning and happiness

And if you listen to the end, you will hear who Oliver would like to have a scotch and cigar with!

As I finish writing this conversation, I remind myself of the last paragraph in Oliver’s book, The Four Thousand Weeks:

“The average human lifespan is absurd, terrifying, insultingly short. But that isn’t a reason for unremitting despair or for living in an anxiety-fueled panic about making the most of your limited time. It’s a cause for relief. You get to give up on something that was always impossible - the quest to become the optimized, infinitely capable, emotionally, invincible, fully independent person you’re officially supposed to be. Then you get to roll up your sleeves and start work on something that’s gloriously possible instead.”

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you getting in the way of your own best life?

One of the ways in which many of us get in the way of our best life is by playing it safe.

You might be playing it safe if you ...

- Get stuck thinking doom and gloom scenarios

- Ask others what to do so you don’t make a mistake

- Feel like an imposter despite all your accomplishments

- Doubt your competency and ability to handle challenging situations

- Spontaneously go back to the past and dwell on troublesome situations

- Avoid situations or people that make you feel uncomfortable even though it causes you problems

- Put off an activity when it’s too overwhelming but beat yourself up because you’re not getting it done

- Are overly careful about what you’re saying, how you’re saying it, and what you’re doing so you don’t make mistakes

- Do your best to think optimistically and positively even though your mind keeps coming up with negative thoughts

Your playing-it-safe moves might feel right at the time, but they can also keep you stuck.

Do you know what's your playing-it-safe profile?

Learn which playing-it-safe moves are working against you and how to change them. 

Here is what you need to do:

(1) Listen to this episode

(2) Take the Playing-It-Safe Questionnaire

(3) Figure out your Playing-it-safe profile.

https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/

Do you feel as if you're the only person responsible for others' wellbeing at all times? How do you go about making decisions?⁣ ⁣What about small ones?⁣ ⁣Do you get overwhelmed with the possibility of failure? Do you spend hours criticizing yourself? Is it challenging to say present in the moment?⁣ ⁣ Do you postpone activities that feel anxiety-provoking? Do you have high standards for yourself? Do you put pressure on yourself to make the right decisions? Do you minimize your accomplishments and feel that what you're doing is not enough?

These are characteristics of perfectionism and high achieving behaviors. Get a 10-part audio guide to learn to harness the power of perfectionism and learn to do things that your care about without losing yourself!

Click here

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you worried about making poor financial decisions?

Have you ever felt ashamed of your finances?

How do you relate to money?

Financial anxiety is real for most of us.

Quite often we do play-it-safe by avoiding financial decisions, predicting gloom and doom scenarios about potential decisions or we get paralyzed with what-if financial scenarios.

So, I’m excited to share with you a conversation I had with Amanda Clayman, a trained clinician specializing in money issues. In this interview, she kindly shares:

• Her personal experience of stuckness with money
• How Amanda creates a context to make values-based decisions about money
• How you can relate to money as a way to expand your life (instead of contracting it)
• How you can handle the shame, anxiety, and fears that come when making financial decisions

This conversation was very refreshing and hope you find it useful.

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.