PLAYING-IT-SAFE

We often have mechanistic views about ourselves “I’m bad, ugly, stupid, etc” and believe that when having any negative thoughts, painful memories feeling or they need to be fixed, repaired, or replaced. 

At times we believe that we lack “confidence” or “self-esteem”.

But what if our internal experiences are just that, internal experiences.

What if what we do with them or what we do in response to them is much more important than what those experiences are?

In this brief episode, I share with you a particular psychological concept that is at the heart of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: Context and how you can understand your behavior in context.

I promise you this episode doesn’t have fancy jargon or complicated words; it’s the opposite. I did my best to share with you an important psychological construct in a simple and actionable way so you can get better at living a purposeful life.

IMPORTANT NEWS: REGISTRATION FOR THE ONLINE CLASS "ACT BEYOND PERFECTIONISM" STARTS IN A COUPLE OF DAYS:

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(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do top athletes think about their physical struggles - pain, exhaustion, thirst - when competing?

How do the top athletes push their bodies to the absolute limit over hours or days of competition? 

When feeling under significant pressure or in high stake situations, It’s natural that our mind may jump to conclusions about what’s going on or what’s going to happen; it's natural that our mind may jump into thinking traps. It’s natural that our mind may compare our performance with others’ performance. . . It’s natural that our minds may convince us to stop trying, to give up, to stop competing . . . 

I had the honor of interviewing Alex Hutchinson, a journalist, former Canadian national team distance runner, current award-winning science journalist, and author of the book Endure.

In this conversation Alex, kindly shares

• His writing process
• How he decided to write Endure
• How he maintains a scientific approach to his writing
• How he handles the uncertainty of not knowing
• How to think about physical sensations during a high athletic performance
• How to relate to physical discomfort when competing at a professional level

This conversation has reminded me, once again, about the importance of scientific humbleness; and how, when doing what we care about, keeping ourselves in check, is crucial to keep science going.

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our minds need to make sense of things that happen to us, all the time, and one way in which they do so is by telling stories, narratives and tales about who we are, what has happened or not happened to us, why you behave in one way or another. 

When your mind is in story-telling mode, all those thoughts - no matter how absurd or unlikely they are, - they seem so true to you. 

Your mind has a hard time telling the difference between fact and fiction, and if you don’t pay attention, you will get hooked on those thoughts; and when getting hooked, you will take those stories as the absolute truth. 

Right now, you may have several stories coming into your mind about who you are and you may have an urge to do something about those stories.

Before doing anything, I want to invite you to listen to this episode and learn 7 skills - based on Acceptance and Commitment training - that you can put into action when your mind is in story-telling mode and taking you into confusion land.

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Three things in human life are important.

The first is to be kind.

The second is to be kind.

And the third is to be kind.”

- Henry James

This is a personal conversation I had with Chris Brock, a magazine editor and journalist, who kindly shares the stuckness he went through when feeling lost despite having done all things right on paper (e.g. having a job, getting married, completing a degree, etc). 

Have you ever felt like Chris?

Who doesn’t feel lost? 

How did you get back into your life?

Chris, courageously and kindly shared, how he:

• Watches his mind
• Practices mindfulness in his day-to-day life
• Manages criticizing thoughts
• Checks if he's playing-it-safe too much

Finally, I’ll leave you with Chris’ words:

“Only when we are truly ourselves, can we live a life that is truly our own.”

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"You must be vulnerable to be sensitive to reality. And to me being vulnerable is just another way of saying that one has nothing more to lose. I don’t have anything but darkness to lose. I’m way beyond that."

- Bob Dylan.

We often play-it-safe by hiding, avoiding, minimizing, and acting as if we're not struggling. But it's human to struggle; it's human to ask for compassion; it's human to be embarrassed; it's human to be vulnerable.

In the first part of this conversation with Seth Gillihan, Ph.D., he kindly shares:

- His health struggles

- How he uses behavioral steps to navigate his day

- How he uses mindfulness to distinguish what he has control of and what he doesn't

- How he deals with shameful feelings.

In the second part of this conversation, Seth shares how he and his daughter collaborated together to write the CBT Deck for Kids and Teens.

I hope you find this conversation helpful and hope it motivates you to be more compassionate with yourself.

IMPORTANT NEWS: ACT beyond OCD is happening, JANUARY 2022!

ACT beyond OCD, a live, cohort-based, online class for any person struggling with OCD is opening its doors in January.

If you want to learn how to tackle pesky obsessions using Acceptance and Commitment Skills and Exposure,, make sure to register in the waitlist.

Please keep in mind that we only run this class twice a year!

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We all play it safe, that's the norm and not the exception. Our playing-it-safe tendencies move in a continuum from being adaptive on one end to being unhelpful on the other. And one of the ways we play it safe is by pushing hard and working hard.

In this conversation, I interview Diana Hill, a clinical psychologist, co-author of the book ACT daily Journal and co-host of the psychology podcast Psychologists Off The Clock. Dr. Hill discussed how you can catch the cycle of striving.

And in the second part of the conversation, Dr. Hill answers this question: How do yoga and acceptance and commitment skills blend together?

Dr. Hill shares how to:

- Move from mental experiences into the real direct experiences

- How to start using an embodied approach to notice internal experiences

- How you can practice the exercise "one eye in and one eye out" as a starting point to step back from internal experiences.

Finally, at the end of the conversation, you will hear Dr. Hill's recommendation on how to make the best of the ACT Daily Journal, if you just started working on it.

You can find more on Dr. Hill on her website.

IMPORTANT NEWS: ACT beyond OCD is coming in JANUARY 2022!

ACT beyond OCD, a live, cohort-based, online class for any person struggling with OCD is opening its doors in January.

If you want to learn how to tackle pesky obsessions using Acceptance and Commitment Skills and Exposure, make sure to register on the waitlist.

Please keep in mind that we only run this class twice a year!

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As Chris Martin would say, "the curiosity didn't kill the cat. In fact, she's alive and well."

Today, I'm sharing with you an interview with Chris Martin, a content producer and creativity coach who helps people unleash their creative fire by transforming imaginative ideas into tangible reality. 

Chris is a very caring creative person that asks deep questions, creates engaging projects, and is an ongoing source of encouragement for any person that collaborates with him. In fact, since the beginning of the Playing-it-safe podcast, Chris has been a key person helping me to brainstorm ideas and troubleshoot all types of technical challenges. 

If you're starting a creative project and want to get skills-based coaching, ongoing support, and collaborate with a person that genuinely cares about what you do, take a look at Chris's community: Curiosity Builders.

In this conversation, you will hear in particular how Chris handles overwhelming emotions, feedback, and personal narratives in regard to creative projects. And you will also hear specific tips to practice curiosity as a super-power!

Question for you: Are you subscribed to the Playing-it-safe podcast?

If you're not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don't want you to miss an episode. I'll be adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix in the next couple of months and if you're not subscribed, you will them out. 

And if you have a minute, I welcome a review. I'll be very grateful if you leave a review on iTunes too! Those reviews are super helpful for others to find this podcast!

Just select "ratings and reviews" and "write a review" and let me know your favorite part of the podcast! Many thanks!  

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As a species, we are hardwired to avoid, control, and escape whatever makes us uncomfortable. That’s natural and expected.

To avoid is to be human. But what happens when we avoid things that we care about because they make us uncomfortable or sad?

What happens when we disconnect from the things that matter to us because we’re trying to control what we feel? What’s the long-term outcome of avoidant behaviors in our lives?

When you make a habit of avoiding the situations and activities that bring up discomfort, and the avoidance becomes a chronic pattern, then it's time to make a shift.

This episode will help you recognize avoidance behaviors that have been keeping you stuck and will tell you how to get mobilized. You will learn 3 specific activities you need to schedule in your weekly calendar to stop disconnecting and get back to your life.

IMPORTANT NEWS FOR YOU:

NEW BOOK: ACT for Perfectionism and High Achieving Behaviors: Do Things Your Way, Be Yourself, and Live a Purposeful Life.

Get your copy here

Wanting to give your best, making the best decisions you can, and striving to have all the information when something matters to you, doing these things makes sense because you care deeply. That’s not necessarily the problem; the problem is when these behaviors go unchecked, take on lives of their own, and become more debilitating than fulfilling

This is not a book in which you will read the usual clichés about high-achieving and perfectionistic actions. This is a book that shows you how to nurture, cultivate, and enrich your drive for high achievement without the sleepless nights, many hours of regret, years of blaming and criticizing yourself, or dwelling relentlessly on worries, fears, and anxieties.

I believe—and behavioral science shows—that to create and live the life we want, we need to learn to accept ourselves as we really are, rather than as we wish to be. And if you’re prone to being a high achiever and a perfectionist, this book is an invitation to do so.

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How often do you play-it-safe by minimizing what's important to you and avoiding conversations?

In this conversation, I interview Debbie Sorensen, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, co-author of the book ACT daily Journal, and co-host of the psychology podcast Psychologists Off The Clock. In this episode, Debbie and I chat about different micro-skills, based on Acceptance and Commitment Training, that you can use to approach conversations that matter to you.

Here are the resources that we discussed in the conversation with Debbie:

• Conversation with Steve Hayes
• ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
• Debbie's webpage

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Imagine what would happen if you made choices to give just 10% more of yourself to your career? 

Imagine if you make choices to give just 15% more of yourself to your relationships?

Imagine how your life would change if you make choices to give 20% more to your health? 

That’s what’s amazing about acknowledging the many moments of choice you have every time you're breathing. The possibilities are endless.

Unfortunately, most people live in automatic pilot mode, without paying attention to the choices they’re making and without realizing, they live small and play-it-safe all the time.

In this episode, I share with you 3 particulars states that you need to pay attention to in order to catch your moments of choices so you can stop playing it safe and starting living a purposeful life.

Complete the Playing-it-safe questionnaire to figure out:

- Your playing-it-safe profile

- Which playing-it-safe behaviors keep you stuck

- What you need to change is to stop playing small and start living a meaningful life.

Click here to figure out your Playing-it-safe profile

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.