Plumbing the Death Star

In which our heroes realise their planet is doomed, throw their baby in a rocket and blindly send if off into the cold reaches of space as we try to calculate the odds of little baby Kal-El landing on Kent Farm. We look at the punchability of whales, the punchability of polar bears, and whether it would be better to have Superman as a resident or just a neighbour. Jackson imagines a Superman landing deep beneath the ocean and hassling Atlantis, Zammit imagines a Superman landing in the middle of the Arctic and frightening research teams and Duscher just wants a Superman who casually lives on the Moon. So wave goodbye to your mum-el and dad-el, watch as your planet explodes behind you, and pray to your foreign alien god you end up somewhere good. Statistically you probably won’t.Want to help purchase better homing technology for Superman’s baby rocket? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can make sure it doesn't land in an active volcano.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least forty books on how to aim.

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In which our heroes cast powerful spells, wear a pointy hat, and live in a magical tower as we ask why wizards don't rule the world. We discuss Wizard power levels, making your castle spectacular, and the function of a monarch in todays society. Alli quickly sets her sights on immortality, Zammit solves his problem with a gulag, and Jackson just wants to solve world hunger. So grow your beard long, buy an owl and talk to it, and try not to get your star and moon robe dirty. It's a wizardocracy and it's time you got used to it.Want to help fund a rescue effort to free Jackson’s cows? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help save thousands.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least seven books on running the perfect society.

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In which our heroes pit hero against hero, POTUS against a god and Batman against a man with a bat all while wondering why we haven’t done a versus episode? We look at the inherent problems of wailing away at a cripple with a hammer, the benefits of having your own bowling alley and how a human sized ant could ride a bicycle. Jackson gives up trying to train Chewbacca, Zammit steals rules from the Weekly Planet Podcast and Duscher just wants to know who’s the best sidekick. It’s a free for all battle royale as we find out who’s the best there is at what they do, and sometimes what they do is to serve a bunch of other people.Want to help fund a fight between the Rock and an actual rock? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in spectator sport history.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least sixty-eight books about the meticulous rules of a butle-off.

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In which our heroes still don’t care that it’s bigger on the inside, aren’t impressed with how many parsecs you made the Kessel Run in and don’t want to deal with that mutant problem on Earth 616 because there are better fictional universes to live in. We look at the ethics of mind control, the potential problems that arise when body switching and the responsibility of owning pets at such a young age. Jackson decides on Freaky Friday, Zammit inevitably turns to Star Wars, and Duscher just surprises us all with Pokemon. So pick your side, build your case and bribe the necessary judges as we find out, once and for all, the best fictional universe to live in. Again.Want to help destroy the multiverse? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in all our parallel lives. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least eighty books about string theory.

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In which our heroes don’t care that it’s bigger on the inside, aren’t impressed with how many parsecs you made the Kessel Run in and don’t want to deal with that mutant problem on Earth 616 because there are worse fictional universes to live in. We look at the ethics of mind control, the potential problems that arise when body switching and the responsibility of owning pets at such a young age. Jackson decides on Freaky Friday, Zammit inevitably turns to Star Wars, and Duscher just surprises us all with Pokemon. So pick your side, build your case and bride the necessary judges as we find out, once and for all, the worst fictional universe to live in.Want to help destroy the multiverse? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in all our parallel lives. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least eighty books about string theory.

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In which our heroes scour through the Gotham Gazette, flick through the Daily Planet and start chatting to some locals to see if they’d rather live in Gotham or Metropolis. We look at each city’s rogue gallery, the likely collateral damage that would inevitably take place and the level of corruption of the local police department amongst other things. Jackson’s late for work again no matter where he goes, James would rather risk a building fall on him than live out in the boonies and Zammit just wants to buy some milk without getting mugged. It’s a gamble where no one’s the winner where we find the ideal place to settle down and raise our kids.Want to help superheroes learn about mortgages? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in interest rates. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least fourteen books about living amongst masked vigilantes.

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In which our heroes join the DCP, get slaughtered on the job and have our lifeless corpses turned into half robots, half mans and all cops. We look at how important our dicks are, reminisce about that one robot that commits suicide in the second film (maybe?), and imagine an aged Robocop going through Alzheimer’s. Jackson points out that robotics and cybernetics are two completely different schools of science, Zammit doesn't understand why they don't use remote controlled ED-209s, and Duscher just forgives the film for any minor or major flaw because Robocop. So say goodbye to your human existence, choof off all those superfluous body parts and shoot a rapist in the dick because either way, dead or alive, you're coming with me.Want to help Robocop regain his humanity and more importantly, his penis? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a huge difference in his robomarriage.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least sixty books about office party decorum.

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In which our heroes live through another mass escape from Arkham, stock up on bottled water as Gotham’s water supply has been poisoned again and watch the news for potential Joker gas threats as they wonder why Batman doesn’t just kill the Joker? We look at all the bad things Joker has done, a sure fire way to get out of having to vote ever again and review Arkham’s revolving door policy. Jackson is Grant Morrison against his will, Zammit just assumes it’s all the Bat-Demon’s fault and Duscher just wants to keep reminding people of the Killing Joke. It's a criminally good time as we remember that Batman doesn't kill for a reason (anymore) and is probably having too much fun dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight.Want to help fund Jackson’s quest to prove he isn’t Grant Morrison? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in his double life.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least ninety-seven books about seducing a fictional universe.

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In which our heroes crash land on an alien planet, splash around in some black goo, and end up host to a parasitic alien as we ask if xenomorphs a good weapon? We attempt to decipher Prometheus, wonder what would happen if a facehugger impregnated a xenomorph, and explore the almost certain possibility of the existence of space gorillas. Zammit likens xenomorphs to pandas, James is amazed that xenomorphs happened twice, and Jackson just wants to talk about his Mogwai/Xenomorph theory. So avoid touching any mysterious eggs, don’t pet the snake alien, avoid thinking too hard about Prometheus, and try to figure out what the hell is going on. We’re not in space, so everyone can hear you scream.Want to help Blomkamp make a less confusing alien film? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a movie that makes sense. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least five books about making effective bio-weapons.

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In which our heroes use proper conflict resolution techniques, try to adhere to strict workplace guidelines and policies but end up submitting a written complaint anyway as they wonder what the real problems fictional HR departments have to deal with. We look at the requirements for being Batman’s butler, wonder what the orcs actually wanted in Lord of the Rings, and ask if Rocky I-VI is racist. Zammit wants to know what a marriage counsellor equivalent for Superhero teams is, Duscher tries to figure out how the world can get behind the Avengers when they're always infighting, and Ray just wants to know if James Bond could get away with it all if he was an insurance salesman. So call a press conference, put a positive spin on all your problems and awkwardly make a forced apology without getting everyone fired and/or imprisoned.Want to help hire a HR guy for Sanspants? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can make sure we don’t turn on each other.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least twelve books about conflict resolution techniques when you are also a Batman.

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