Plumbing the Death Star

In which our heroes turn to their inner demons, poison the water supply and cackle manically while wondering what villainous theme they would take if they lived in Gotham City. We look at saving developing countries from starvation, going to university to study fire and the best way to recruit henchmen. Jackson has a fascination with beef, Duscher is confused about how being born works and Zammit just wants to throw coins at Batman and hassle his grapes. So cower in terror at the villains who weren’t invited to knightfall, line up to have your chance to break the Bat and stick around for the inevitable dark and gritty 90s reboot. It’s confusingly evil and somewhat incompetent. Want to help people succumb to the influence of the demon bat? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in Gotham City. It won’t be a positive difference, but it’ll be a difference. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least four books about finding your inner bad self.

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In which our heroes help our dad around the farm and try to minimise their parents crippling debt by taking on a job while wondering why that Kent kid doesn’t help out his folks but instead sits around all day, mopes about girl problems and eats pop-tarts. We look at Clark’s diamond making potential, his possible career as a delivery man for literally everywhere and if Batman has ever lent him the Bat credit card. Jackson wants to know if the JLA is a cushy government job, James thinks every live action version of Superman is wrong, Zammit proclaims that Pa Kent is the problem and Duscher just wants you to listen to his side-podcast; Sad People I Know. So find an abandoned baby in the woods, consider raising it as your own and join us for one of the most convoluted comparison we’ve ever come up with. By the end of the episode you too will be wondering if the Fires Out?Want to help the Kents because Superman won’t? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help supplement the Kent’s income. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least sixteen books about the etiquette of finding an abandoned baby.

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In which our heroes revisit Jurassic Park, go on another (mis)guided tour and run from the dinosaurs that have inevitable escaped from their enclosures while wondering if John Hammond is a bad boss. We look at the complications of building a theme-park on top of Central Park, the many ways one foolish man can traumatise young children, and the outstanding prehistory of horses. Jackson hires mercenaries to protect children, Zammit keeps tabs on how many children die, and Duscher just wants to accept the warm embrace of death. So step through the front gates, realise none of the exhibits are anywhere near safe or secure, and take a journey through Jackson B. Baly’s very own: Dinosaur Park. Nuuh nuh nuuuuuuh nuh nuh, nuuh nuh nuuuuuuh nuh nuh, nuuuh nuh nuuuuh nuh nuh nuuuuuh nuuuuhhh nuh.Want to help fund a class action suit against Jackson? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help take him down. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least three books about how dangerous terrorbirds are.

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In which our heroes will be there for you when the rain starts to pour, slap a reserved sign in front of an ugly orange couch, and drink far too much coffee while wondering who is objectively the best friend in F*R*I*E*N*D*S? In a process of elimination spanning several categories, we look at which F*R*I*E*N*D would dominate in a fight, who is arguably the best actual friend and unanimously agree that Ross is just the worst. Duscher tries to determine once and for all if Rachel and Ross were actually on a break, Zammit finds the ultimate woman in Monica, James goes in to bat for Joey’s kind-heartedness and Jackson just wants to make it through the episode without choking to death. It’s a case of keeping your F*R*I*E*N*D*S close and your F*R*E*N*E*M*I*E*S* closer, as we try to survive the episode without a marriage proposal from a dinosaur obsessed sad-sack.Want to help us get insurance to dance in fountains? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the quality of our waterproof gear.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least one book about the seven erogenous zones, according to Monica Gellar.

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In which our heroes get exposed to some chemicals, don spandex HazMat suits and generally do whatever a spider can while wondering just how radioactive Spiderman is. We look at how dangerously potent Peter Parker’s bodily fluids are, which of Spiderman’s girlfriends are most susceptible to radiation poisoning and how dedicated some of Marvel’s villains truly are. James ponders how many deaths Tobey Maguire is responsible for, Zammit makes a horrifying correlation between Spiderman and SIDS, Mason calls out Peter Parker for being as selfish as Tony Stark and Duscher just wants to get a burger without double pineapple while he reads a comic. It’s an inevitable study in creepy crawlies and creepy teenage boys as we try to swat Peter Parker off the ceiling and end up covered in sticky web threads. Want to help us make our studio radioactive spider-proof? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in plugging up the glowing cracks in the walls.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least seventy-three books about juggling two girlfriends while shooting webs from your limbs.

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In which our heroes gather up the world’s greatest villains, try to see their inner good and flip the switch to see which bad guy would make the best good guy. We explore how sharks can solve any crime, the benefits of dance magic and that there are some viruses worth having. Jackson wants to waltz all his problems into a jail cell, Zammit reinvents Street Sharks, Duscher gets stressed out over movies (yet again) and James just wants monkeys to shine in this bright new future. So join us as we turn the world on it’s head as up becomes down, black becomes white and bad becomes good. Because sometimes the right man for the job is the wrong man. And also a shark.Want to help fund a reboot of Street Sharks!? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in this baby boy’s life.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least eighty-one books about reinventing yourself even when you are a monster.

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In which our heroes gorge themselves on chocolate, press all the buttons in the Wonka-vator, get PTSD from the Boat Tunnel and are handed the keys to a chocolate factory, all while wondering if Willy Wonka knows how to run a business. We look at the nefarious secret life of Mr Wonka, the use of slave labour in exchange for cacao beans and try to figure out how to pronounce the word pygmy. Jackson has grave concerns for the health of Charlie Bucket, Mason thinks Willy Wonka is an evil genius who doesn’t understand reality, Duscher has no idea what an Oompa Loompa is and James just wants to defend his controversial decision to read books. It’s a twisted adventure full of booby traps and everlasting gobstoppers as we try to balance the expenses of the factory, but ultimately just get super pissed at Grandpa Joe for lying to everyone about being bedridden. What a crook, a cheat and a swindler. Good day!Want to help us prove that Willy Wonka is in fact a secret Nazi scientist? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in re-writing chocolate-covered history.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least five books about opening your own factory to distract the general public from ever finding out you were once clearly a Nazi.

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In which our heroes take a rocket to the JLA satellite, take one look at the original members, and wonder what the hell Batman is doing amongst an underwater king, an invulnerable alien and the literal god of war. Jackson doesn't believe protecting one city is impressive enough, Zammit misremembers the sound of music, Duscher likens Batman to Hawkeye, and Mason just thinks the JLA look like a bunch of bunklers. So apply to join the Justice League, watch out for opportune punch moments, and find out why batman has no right to complain about Gotham. Anyway you cut it, Batman already knows how to kill you.Want to help keep Batman occupied? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help fund crimes for him stop.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least sixty-seven books about creating a hostile workplace environment.

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In which our heroes join the Empire, check out the schematics for a new super weapon and witness a planet wide explosion as they start to question if the Death Star is really the best way to take out the Rebel scum. Join us as we discuss the Moff ranking system, the issue with Stormtrooper morale and Darth Vader's swimming trunks. Jackson thinks the Death Star is too big, Zammit is stressed about working for the Empire and Duscher just thinks he'd make the Grandest Moff. So shine your trooper helmet, climb into your Tie Fighter and get to work early, just because you work for the Dark Side doesn’t mean you have to evil about it.Want to help Grand Moff Duscher crowd fund the exhaust covering? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help prevent the wholesale slaughter of innocent government employees. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least forty-one books about how to create a better workplace environment.

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In which our heroes survive the initial onslaught, emotionally recover from yet another faked death and pause long enough to stop beating on a sentient room as they start to wonder if Charles Xavier really is a jerk. We once again wonder what kind of education Charles actually provides, how any of the X-Men can look each other in the eye, and try and figure out who bathes Professor X. Jackson wonders what happened to Mahogany Boy, James doesn’t want to go to a school where the principal can read your mind, Zammit once again shows off his encyclopaedic knowledge of Charles Xavier's transgressions and Duscher just wants to use Jean Grey like a canary down a coal mine. So develop a mutant ability, get enlisted in Charles never ending war against his siblings, and wish you'd chosen the Brotherhood instead. By gifted youngsters, Charles clearly means soldiers. Want to help fund a school that actually helps new mutants? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can provide an alternative to Professor X. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least sixty six book about how to fight the crippled.

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