Plumbing the Death Star

In which our heroes defend Crystal Lake, wage a Dream War, aim our missiles at a Godzilla and decide which movie monsters they could take in a fight. We look at the ideal ways to grapple with a gremlin, crush a cave creep, kill a Cujo, and get rid of a Grundlefly. Jackson defends his home against the notorious toilet ghoul, Zoe just straight up commits cold blooded murder, Zammit attempts to drown a car, and Duscher just wants to eliminate every monster from David Cronenberg’s filmography. It's a spooky rumble where we go toe to hideous clawed toe in a battle between horror movie alumni and some out of shape idiots.Want to help arm us against the creatures of the night? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the battle between good and evil.

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In which our heroes don’t care that it’s bigger on the inside, aren’t impressed with how many parsecs you made the Kessel Run in and don’t want to deal with that mutant problem on Earth 616 because there are better fictional universes to live in. We look at the all powerful nature of dance magic, the problem of changing history, and wonder if it's better to be Tom Hanks or just live in the same universe as him. Jackson wins straight off the bat, Zammit accidentally learns two lessons, and Duscher just wants to own a shrimp company. It's a crisis on Infinite Earths as we attempt to insert ourselves into popular fiction with no regard for anyone else. Want to help the search for other worlds? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in locating our other selves.

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In which our heroes crash land on earth, get corporate, call themselves Clarke and act like a bunch of Kents while wondering why Superman find Lois Lane Attractive. We look at Kryptonian evolution, make an effort to get our heads around genetic attraction, attempt to rationalise forming an emotional emotional connection with an alien and struggle to imagine making love with a chimp.Jackson is obsessed with Superman’s butthole, Zammit is more interested in Superman’s penis and Duscher just wants to be the first astronaut to die of mustard gas poisoning. It’s an interspecies intergalactic interplanetary erotic journey as we do our best to answer the age old question of nature vs nurture.Want to help research the logic of Kryptonian buttholes? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in locating the bastard.

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In which our heroes plug ourselves back in to the Matrix, order a steak, bend all the restaurant’s cutlery and wonder why this computer simulation was programmed to have poverty. We look at the often mysterious and counter productive choices taken by our robot overlords, the final destination of the planets cows, and the potential eroticism of jackholes. Jackson wonders what the robots want with all our hair, Zammit proclaims he’d sell out Neo in a heartbeat to the surprise of absolutely no one and Duscher just wants to keep answering his own questions. It's a slow motion rooftop rumble where we answer the ringing pay phone, unplug, and find the red pill a little too hard to swallow.Want to help us feed the virtual poor? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in virtual lives of starving children.

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In which our heroes are orphaned on a desert planet, find a laser sword and boldly follow a strange old man on a misguided, ill-informed and incompetent journey into space. It's all things Obi-Wan as we look at his master plan of hiding Luke on Darth Vader’s home planet with Darth Vader’s last name with Darth Vader’s relatives in a house Darth Vader has definitely visited. Jackson proposes that Obi-Wan used up all his favours hiding Leia, Zammit questions how Hutts became the supreme rulers of the Outer Rim and Duscher just wants to know what Kit Fisto is up to these days. Join us in galaxy far, far away as we watch Obi-Wan give up and let Yoda deal with the consequences.Want to help Lord Vader get enough credits to find his missing kids? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the lonely dad’s life. Long live the Empire.

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In which our heroes put on some green tights, shove a firefly into a jar and go off in search of a princess while wondering why Hyrule is so easy to conquer. We look at the often overlooked issue of segregation plaguing Hyrule, the problems with Zelda’s prophetic dreams and how much the kingdom gets dunked time and time again. Jackson proposes a unified government to fix the problem, Zammit has a strange urge to be on team Ganondorf and Duscher just wants to make Goron sounds. It’s a hack and slash through some murky dungeons without a compass, map or a boss key as we all uncover Link’s true purpose in helping Hyrule from Ganon.

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In which our heroes drink on the job, hit on anyone and yell at everyone that we’re super secret spies while wondering why James Bond still has a job. Duscher claims he could be more successful as Jerry Steven: asexual and dressed for comfort, Jackson tries to stop him every step of the way as the Nefarious Dr Yang, the racial stereotype villain who wants to fuck the moon and Zammit is one half of the engineering duo, Q & R, tasked with fixing a chaffing problem. Jerry Steven, with his signature drink of stirred glass of water, fumbles his way through Dr Yang’s poorly designed base of operations and proves while he’s not the best secret agent, Dr Yang is an even worse villain.

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In which our heroes wonder why anyone with a time machine would be in such a hurry and start to realise that Doc Brown may be an idiot. We look at his plans and notice that they’re never thought out, he’s constantly wrong about the time stream and goes to great lengths to ensure the McFlys benefit and the Tannens have a shit one. Jackson wants to know why Doc keeps bringing Jennifer on time adventures just to knock her out and put her in some trash, Zammit argues that Marty Jr going to jail might not be so bad and Duscher just wants to know what happened to the terrorists. It’s a dark climb as we uncover the secret shame of the Tannen family tree and wonder why people keep shitting in their cars.

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In which our heroes look at Bruce Nolan’s life and wonder why God made him Almighty. We explore Bruce’s first act as good as he cause a municipal water problem, sexually harass a young woman and flat out steal from an upscale clothing store before committing anal based monkey assault on an hispanic youth leader. Twice. Jackson is horrified by the blatant abuse of power, Zammit has his own theory involving Morgan Freeman eating a God brain and Duscher just wants to punch a meteor and die a hero. It’s pure bafflement as we try to understand how God could let most of South East Asia be washed away and several star systems go super nova on the whim of a horny man.

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In which our heroes see how deep Bruce Wayne’s daddy issues really go. We take a close look at Batman’s life through the lens of his parents as we try to see if they would be proud of their baby boy. Revolutionary medical braces are kept behind locked doors as Batman is revealed to be the king of loopholes. Zammit can’t comprehend how a parent could be impressed of their son for faking their own death, Jackson argues that Thomas Wayne would rather the Penguin as a protege and Duscher just wants to know where the bill for the bat credit card goes. Join us for bad Michael Cain impressions, Martha Wayne chiding Bruce for not being Superman and Thomas Wayne as the saddest Riddler you’ll ever see.

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