Oof, watch out, that's it, just wiggle out round then put it down there. You know, just over there! Right by the Shamblecopier.AND THE SCENERY FALLS AWAY TO REVEAL A PODCAST!Well that's just a taste of what's to come in this week's heaped up offering of extract of MaltShambles (oh god, are these getting too tortured yet?) This week, our worryingly debonair duo take to the skies to pen their own anime series, Laurie finds a mystery pig and Paddy tells everyone about the life and times of Daniel Sturridge. Apparently. Laurie forgets as he think he passed out somewhere around 17 minutes in. Or got lost in the excitement of a Double Decker.Anyway, Paddy was at least semi-coherent. Go on, have a go. You never know, it could be anywhere up to OK!

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Pop down to the Shamblebakery and pick up a Podloaf and five Castbagels because it's gonna be a long night (and to get through it you will need loads of bread). The return of the fabled 'Podshambles' is upon us and boy oh boy is it tasty. We begin with the heavily debated subject of PS4/Xbox One/Beef before stumbling blindly into the highly anticipated Aikido section. BUT THAT IS NOT ALL. Keep your eyes peeled and your shins broken for hot-off-the-press information regarding which video game character Laurie most resembles, whether Paddy can indeed challenge the impossible and of course whether two men can indeed replicate 26 musicians in just under 14 minutes. It's a Shambletracheostomy - did you bring the biro?Still no apostrophes? Really? Does anyone even READ THIS?

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We didn't see it coming. No-one saw it coming. A warm summer, a calm autumn, but then - then the Shamblewinds came. And Shamblewinds show no mercy.Paddy and Laurie battle it out against the forces of nature the only way they know how - indoors. How will they survive whilst the 'others' succumb to WIND MADNESS? Will Paddy's driving lesson be enough to save the future of humanity/transport? What happened to Laurie at Nandos in an unrelated event? Will they remember it's also Halloween? You will have to listen to find out. Although yes they do remember it is Halloween and tell some home-brewed terrifying tales of tumultuous terror accordingly.Download it now. For free. And then subscribe. For free. Can you believe it?! Yes. You can. Because that is the nature of podcasting and you are all more than aware of how it works.Now let's get a combination of spooky and windy. It's Hurricastoween. Enjoy the 5401 seconds of pure unadulterated horror-fun.

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Well, one's a lonely wash, two's a shower and THREE'S A BLOODY SHAMBLEBATH. Yes, our numbers swell by one this week as we welcome honorary shambleer Jay Foreman – eminent musical comedian, bon viveur, raconteur, boulangeur and all-round swell guy to withstand an hour of our nonsense. We enjoy some songs, chat and WAIT HOLD UP, WHO BROUGHT CARROTS? Suddenly, the episode has taken a turn for the better. Laurie discusses his ideas for a perfect ice cream house, Paddy gets greedy with the utensils, and Jay remembers an ill-fated school project. Get your tickets from the strange man at the back of the Shamblecarriage, it's going to be a pretty bewildering yet oddly comforting ride.

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Gee-whiz, those Shamblebears sure do love their honey! Watch as they Podfrolic through the beehives, snuffling up the last bits of Castnectar from the bee-nests. Paddy brings out the TOME OF DESTINY and the happy-go-lucky Shamblescamps dive head first into a pool of Choose Your Own Adventure. Yes, you heard right - it is BACK. Laurie finds himself reliving the old days with Flagon, Paddy tries to do too many voices whilst sticking strictly to his limited vocal range, and the fun-lovin' pair battle their way to the wholly satisfying conclusion of The Cave of Captain Jack Bastard. Please keep all hands and belongings inside the carriage because this ride just got dangerous. Neo Bahamut dangerous.This Podsatchel is ninety minutes long as you have all been very patient and kind.Apostrophes, iTunes. Apostrophes.

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Buckle up your Shambelts and hoist up your Podsails because this trouser-boat is bound for unCasted Territory. Paddy reveals his beef with weevils, Laurie lashes out at society for a general lack in Bernard Matthews based knowledge, and the two Heroes of Time (Laurie and Paddy from Podshambles) discuss their grand plans for Grunty Pig and Battlegoose. The possibility of Shambles Merchandise looms on the horizon and everyone gets a little bit over excited - so excited in fact that the pair only realise they have left out a rather insignificant sound effect from the final episode edit after they have initiated the episode upload. They argue over the best way to insert the effect for just over an hour, forgetting the original purpose of the discussion and only realising the effect is still missing whilst they are writing the iTunes description for the episode. They are now too tired to do anything about it and have sort of made peace with the absence.Quick update: The apostrophes are still missing from the iTunes descriptions - a fact that made me genuinely miss a train because I was imagining how I would explain myself to a court of law if I was charged with DESTROYING ITUNES.

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The Shamblesharks are circling once again, drawn to the scent of Pod-blood in the Cast-ocean (I meant for that to sound less disgusting, but it's clearly too late to change it). Anyway, this week our intrepid young Shamblodytes find themselves back in each other's company after a hearty adventure-filled Scotland-induced absence (Paddy went to Edinburgh and then came back). Laurie has what can only be described as an existential crisis over whether Borrowers need passports, Paddy gets censored as he lashes out at misogynists, and the pair finally reveal how Bumgoblins affect their daily routines. They haven't seen each other in a while, they are slightly half-cut, one of them isn't wearing a hat - are you darn-tooting ready?In other news, apostrophes still aren't appearing in the descriptions of our episodes and it's beginning to destroy me.* *EDIT: THIS IS NOW FIXED. APOSTROPHES ARE BACK GUYS. IGNORE ALL FURTHER COMPLAINTS I MAKE ABOUT THEM.

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This week, back at the Shambel Tower in gay Paris, Paddy's only gone and bloody gone to bloody Edinburgh bloody Norah. So it's down to tech-wizard Laurence to man the mumblestations and record this week's custard slice.But he forgot. So instead - the Pilotshambles! Hear how our intrepid heroes began speaking about Pokemans, originated the cult practice of salmon batting, and met Elsinore, the finest prostitute there ever was.It's a rip-roarer of an OK time.

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We are back behind the Shambleabra with a whole new barrel of podcast-fish. Paddy explains why we are all just one big massive family of ducks, Laurie gets fruity whilst interviewing Engine-Room Phil and Barbossa, and the critically overexcited pair help Lia find a job in the competitive world of ornithology.Expect seizures. And go-karts.

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It's time for a bonanza sale at the Shamble Charcuterie as we get under the covers for part two of podlet 10. What awaits us in the sexy shambles boudoir? James and Kate pop over for long-overdue ménage-a-quatre (that's a foursome, to you and I), the postal salmon is relentlessly unsexy and Paddy and Laurie discover the kinship that can only arrive after building a sexy canoe.(Sorry for the French. It's a phase we're going through.)This episode is dedicated to Ray Harryhausen, who inspired a generation to use their imagination.

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