Poly Pages

This exercise is called ‘Feelings Dyad’ and is found in Chapter 16 of the Ethical Slut third edition. If you want about the full chapter, please see the full episode: Embracing Conflict (ep 16) and don’t forget to rate and review and subscribe to Poly Pages for more content. This exercise provides a useful framework to share your feelings in a safe and open way and requires about 30-45 minutes of uninterrupted time with a partner. This exercise is ©by Dossie Easton and Janet W.Hardy and is shared here under the exceptions related to teaching. This is a non-commodified resource produced by Poly Pages. You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - [email protected] - for any questions or comments.

Claire and Sebastian are talking about conflict in intimate relationships. We have probably learnt that conflict is bad, and we don't usually spend a lot of time thinking about how we behave in and after conflicts. Dossie and Janet contend that conflict is actually a good thing, giving us opportunities to learn more about each other and ourselves.

If you are polyamorous/non-monogamous there are going to be more times for conflict to crop up because more people are involved, and will have less practice and support for resolving them.

In this episode, we talk about about how to act better in a fight or disagreement. What is the difference between venting and constructive disagreement? How do you avoid triggering each other? What are some quick communication tool to upgrade your conflict communication inc a time out, i-messages and journaling?

Check out our minisode for this chapter's homework here!

You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - [email protected] - for any questions or comments.

Show notes:

Multiamory offer a wonderful crash course in ep 151, here, and also cover toxic habits in relationships in ep 223, here.

Brene Brown Netflix Special: The Call to Courage

The Intimate Enemy: How to Fight Fair in Love and Marriage, by George Robert Bach, Peter Wyden 

Non-violent Communication: A Language of Life  by Marshall B. Rosenberg

Use You're Words by Dr Stephanie K Webb

See Ep 8: Abundance here

This exercise is called ‘Treasures’ and is found in Chapter 15 of the Ethical Slut third edition. If you want about the full chapter, please see the full episode: Roadmaps through Jealousy (ep 15) and don’t forget to rate and review a subscribe to Poly Pages for more content. This exercise is designed to help you and your partner(s) to remember the good stuff. You will need a pen and paper and access to one or more of your partners.

This exercise is ©by Dossie Easton and Janet W.Hardy and is shared here under the exceptions related to teaching. This is a non-commodified resource produced by Poly Pages.

You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - [email protected] - for any questions or comments.

This exercise is called ’15 ways to be kind to yourself’and is found in Chapter 15 of the Ethical Slut third edition. If you want about the full chapter, please see the full episode: Roadmaps through Jealousy (ep 15) and don’t forget to rate and review a subscribe to Poly Pages for more content. This exercise is designed to help you, the reader, to identify easy ways that you can self-sooth. You will need a pen and some index cards to get involved!

This exercise is ©by Dossie Easton and Janet W.Hardy and is shared here under the exceptions related to teaching. This is a non-commodified resource produced by Poly Pages.

You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - [email protected] - for any questions or comments.

This exercise is called ‘Reassurance’ and is found in Chapter 15 of the Ethical Slut third edition. If you want about the full chapter, please see the full episode: Roadmaps through Jealousy (ep 15) and don’t forget to rate and review a subscribe to Poly Pages for more content. This exercise is designed for you, the reader, to consider how you would like your partner(s) to take care of you when times are hard. For this exercise you will need a pen and paper and access to one or more of your partners.

This exercise is © by Dossie Easton and Janet W.Hardy and is shared here under the exceptions related to teaching. This is a non-commodified resource produced by Poly Pages.

You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - [email protected] - for any questions or comments.

This exercise is called ‘How do you experience jealousy?’ and is found in Chapter 15 of the Ethical Slut third edition. If you want about the full chapter, please see the full episode: Roadmaps through Jealousy (ep 15) and don’t forget to rate and review a subscribe to Poly Pages for more content. This is an exercise designed to facilitate introspection about some very difficult thoughts. You will need a pen and some paper to follow along.

This exercise is © by Dossie Easton and Janet W.Hardy and is shared here under the exceptions related to teaching. This is a non-commodified resource produced by Poly Pages, who you can find on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. 

Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. 

Feel free to contact our email - [email protected] - for any questions or comments.

As Part Three kicks off,  Claire and Sebastian talk through Chapter 15 and it's all about the green-eyed monster: what is jealousy? why is it scary? should we avoid it or learn how to work with it? This episode is packed full of excellent resources on how to speak about jealousy, how to self-sooth when you are experiencing it, and how to exercise sharing jealousy safely. Claire also rants about the way jealousy is depicted in mono-culture, and Sebastian talks us through the 'relationship escalator'. 

Don't forget to check for homework exercises in mini-sodes! 15.1, 15.2, 15.3, 15.4

You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - [email protected] - for any questions or comments.

Show Notes:

Check out Probably Poly live show on Jealousy here

Check out Multiamory podcast, ep 217 on the Science of Jealousy here and ep 110 on Deconstructing Jealousy here

Some other good resources are given on the Affirmative Couch blog post here

Claire and Sebastian slide into your feed to give you a little status update. 

After six months of hiatus, Poly Pages is ramping up to release Part Three of Season One entitled "Navigating Challenges". And we are giving you plenty of time to dust off your copy of The Ethical Slut and get ready! Check out the chapter-by-chapter recap on our Instagram @polypages, and look out for Part Three coming soon!

And as a special thank you for bearing with us, we leave you with the complete cut of Curtains by Mint Green, which you usually hear in our intro/outro. Mint Green can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. We highly recommend purchasing their entire EP Growth. 

In this bonus episode, we are joined by special guest co-host Jenelle Marie Pierce of The STI Project: Breaking the Stigma®, to discuss whether non-monogamy agreements can improve ones perceived sense of sexual self-control, and therefore make us more likely to engage in condom negotiation and use. And boy, do we get in it!  Reading a fantastic article by David L Rodrigues, Diniz Lopes and Terri D. Conley, first published February 13, 2019. This can be found on Taylor & Francis Online here.  You can find more about Jenelle on here instagram @thestiproject, at the Herpes Activist Network (HANDS) and at her current bylines on O.School, SELF, HepatitisC.net, Kinkly, PornHub’s Sexual Wellness Center, and Allure. We also encourage you to check out PositiveSingles.com. 

You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - [email protected] - for any questions or comments.

In this freestanding bonus episode, Claire and Sebastian are joined by special guest co-host Michael Hagg to discuss whether Polyamory is an identity, intimate practice or sexual orientation. In their 2014  article, Kleese surveys academic and activist discussions on sexual orientation and traces contradictory voices in current debates on polyamory. 

While some consider polyamory to be nothing more than a convenient label for their current relationship constellations or a handy tool for communicating their willingness to enter more than one relationship at a time, others claim it as one of their core identities. But is there something political in using sexual orientation language? Could polyamory join the LGBTQIA+ movement? And how much do labels actually help us in the first place?

Polyamory: Intimate practice, identity or sexual orientation? by Christian Klesse was first published February 5, 2014. This can be found on Sage Pub here. We also mention another Kleese article in this episode, regarding 'slippery slope' arguments made about polyamory, which can be found here. 

To hear more from Michael Haff, we urge you to check out Probably Poly! For more on the Young Poly Carolinas you can see their facebook here, or listen to their Probably Poly guest episode here. 

You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - [email protected] - for any questions or comments.