In this episode of the PolySoCal Podcast, Alonzo Banx is joined by Lance Cole, Captain Lynn, Patty, Heather, Jon, Noah, Cupcake, and Brandi Beckett for a wide-ranging conversation about tantra and how it connects to polyamory. Lance and Captain Lynn explain tantra as a practice of breath, sound, movement, awareness, and deeper connection rather than simply a sexual technique. The panel explores how tantric ideas can support communication, emotional regulation, self-awareness, presence, and intimacy inside polyamorous relationships. Brandi asks the practical outsider questions many listeners may have, while Jon and Noah challenge the spiritual language from more skeptical perspectives. The result is a grounded introduction to tantra that connects ancient practice, modern relationships, embodiment, and the everyday work of learning how to be more present with yourself and your partners.


Alonzo Banx, Lance Cole, Captain Lynn, Patty, Heather, Jon, Noah, Cupcake,
Brandi

Links
Tribal Fire Life - Embodiment Coaching - private coaching for couples and singles

Living In Ecstasy | Laurie Handlers - I will be co-facilitating this course with Laurie

In this episode of the PolySoCal Podcast, Alonzo Banx is joined by Noah, Heather, Cupcake, Patty, Captain Lynn, and Jon for a deeply human conversation about chronic illness, aging, energy changes, caregiving, and what happens when bodies stop cooperating. The discussion moves through acute injury, long-term illness, fibromyalgia, menopause, mental health, caregiver burnout, guilt, and the hard question of whether love is always enough when care becomes overwhelming. Rather than treating polyamory as an escape from difficulty, the panel explores how multiple relationships can sometimes create a stronger support system, while also adding more emotional complexity. This is not a neat or easy conversation, but it is one of the more grounded PolySoCal discussions about what commitment looks like when desire, health, time, and capacity all change.

 Alonzo Banx,  Noah, Heather, Cupcake, Patty, Captain Lynn, Jon 

Can someone be polyamorous for years and then return to monogamy? In this episode, the PolySoCal panel explores what happens when relationship styles change over time. Some guests believe that once you've experienced loving multiple people, that understanding never truly leaves you. Others share their journey from polyamory back to monogamy and why that choice ultimately felt right for them. Through personal stories, the discussion touches on identity, authenticity, relationship agreements, personal growth, and the challenges of balancing your own needs with the needs of the people you love. Whether you're poly, monogamous, or somewhere in between, this conversation explores what it means to choose the relationship style that fits who you are today. 

Alonzo Banx, Noah, Cookie, Michael, Jon, Kat, Quinny 

Is polyamory a path toward deeper connection, or can it become a clever way to avoid it altogether? This week the table welcomes Michael for his first appearance alongside regulars Dahlia and Noah, and the conversation goes straight at one of the most honest questions the show has asked. Michael shares his journey from a Catholic upbringing steeped in shame to discovering, almost by accident, that he wasn't broken — he just wasn't built for monogamy. Dahlia walks the group through a real-time shift in her own thinking, starting the episode convinced poly can absolutely be used to dodge intimacy, and ending it somewhere completely different. Noah and Alonzo test out a long-standing definition — poly as affairs of the heart, swinging as affairs of the flesh — and the panel doesn't just agree, they push back. What emerges is a layered, honest look at what intimacy actually means, and whether the label you wear has anything to do with whether you're actually capable of it. 

 Alonzo Banks (Host) · Dahlia · Noah · Michael (first appearance) 

What does it actually look like when three people build a real life together? Not the theory, not the fantasy, the dishwasher, the finances, the king size bed, the moment someone asks if you want to wear a ring. Alonzo sits down with Kat, Joshua, and Natalie of The Kink Collective to talk about how a triad that has been living, working, and traveling together actually makes it work day to day. Joshua opens up about two decades of relationship failures before he finally found the courage to say what he needed out loud. Kat talks about what it felt like to always be the one in the way — and what it means to finally be with people who genuinely want her there. And Natalie, the newest member of this family, explains why she chose to stay when things got hard instead of running like she had before. No one is selling a perfect life here. They are just three people who did the work and can tell you exactly what that looked like. 

In this episode of PolySoCal, the panel explores one of the hardest realities in ethical non monogamy: endings. When relationships become deeply interconnected, breakups can affect far more than just two people. The conversation examines how polyamorous relationships end, how emotional fallout spreads through a polycule, and how communication, maturity, and self awareness can help people navigate painful transitions. Through personal experiences and thoughtful discussion, the group talks about unhealthy dynamics, hierarchy, metamour conflict, and the importance of building strong foundations before adding new partners into a relationship web.

Alonzo Banx, Heather, Cupcake, Noah

Everyone talks about commitment in relationships, but what does it actually mean when you have more than one? Is it implied or does it have to be stated out loud? Can you even cheat in a poly relationship? This episode the PolySoCal roundtable takes on one of the most misunderstood assumptions about ethical non-monogamy — that having multiple partners means having no structure at all. Noah breaks down commitment as negotiation, Cookie reframes it as behavioral alignment rather than a promise, Cupcake ties it to expectations and chronic unpredictability, and Heather cuts right to the heart of it with the most honest definition of the night. And for the first time, a monogamous voice joins the table offering a perspective that turns out to be closer to poly than anyone expected. By the end, one question nobody saw coming reframes everything: can you cheat while polyamorous? The answer might surprise you. 

Participants: Alonzo Banks (Host) · Noah · Cookie · Cupcake · Heather · Victor (Guest) 

 Most poly families are one crisis away from a legal nightmare — and they don't know it. In this episode, Alonzo sits down with attorney Toby Adams, who has spent 14 years specializing in family law and estate planning exclusively for poly, queer, kink, and neurodiverse communities. Toby breaks down what rights actually exist for poly parents in California and beyond, how to get all three parents on a birth certificate, why a will or trust can protect your polycule where the law won't, and what happens to your home, your children, and your partner's belongings if you never put anything in writing. Allegra Pescatore, general manager of Toby Adams Law and a poly community member herself, adds a deeply personal story about losing a partner with no legal protections in place  and why that moment changed everything she understood about why this work matters. This is the episode you didn't know you needed. Listen before you need it.

 Alonzo Banks (Host) · Attorney Toby Adams, Esq. (Toby Adams Law) · Allegra Pescatore (General Manager, Toby Adams Law / Author) · Captain Lynn

Toby Adams, Attorney at Law : http://www.TobyAdamsLaw.com  
Allegra Pescatore : website: authorallegra.com

In this deeply personal episode of PolySoCal, Noah and Cookie share the story of how they transitioned from long term monogamous marriages into a polyamorous BDSM relationship. The conversation explores repression, incompatibility, fear, guilt, cheating, divorce, and the difficult process of rebuilding a life around authenticity rather than obligation. Through honest reflection, the group discusses the emotional and practical realities of leaving relationships that no longer fit, the risks involved in radical change, and the importance of therapy, communication, and support systems when stepping into ethical non monogamy. This episode is not about a perfect transition. It is about what happens when people finally decide to stop ignoring who they are.

Alonzo Banx, Noah, Cookie

In this episode, PolySoCal brings in an East Coast triad to explore the intersection of polyamory and kink. The conversation dives into whether poly is inherently kinky, how BDSM frameworks influence communication and structure, and where emotional relationships differ from play or connection. Through real experiences, the group breaks down the overlap, the misconceptions, and the realities of building relationships rooted in honesty, power dynamics, and intentional communication. This episode highlights that while poly and kink often intersect, they are not the same, and each relationship defines its own boundaries. 

Alonzo Banx, Noah, Heather, Joshua, Cat, Natalie