PolySoCal

What does it actually look like when three people build a real life together? Not the theory, not the fantasy, the dishwasher, the finances, the king size bed, the moment someone asks if you want to wear a ring. Alonzo sits down with Kat, Joshua, and Natalie of The Kink Collective to talk about how a triad that has been living, working, and traveling together actually makes it work day to day. Joshua opens up about two decades of relationship failures before he finally found the courage to say what he needed out loud. Kat talks about what it felt like to always be the one in the way — and what it means to finally be with people who genuinely want her there. And Natalie, the newest member of this family, explains why she chose to stay when things got hard instead of running like she had before. No one is selling a perfect life here. They are just three people who did the work and can tell you exactly what that looked like. 

In this episode of PolySoCal, the panel explores one of the hardest realities in ethical non monogamy: endings. When relationships become deeply interconnected, breakups can affect far more than just two people. The conversation examines how polyamorous relationships end, how emotional fallout spreads through a polycule, and how communication, maturity, and self awareness can help people navigate painful transitions. Through personal experiences and thoughtful discussion, the group talks about unhealthy dynamics, hierarchy, metamour conflict, and the importance of building strong foundations before adding new partners into a relationship web.

Alonzo Banx, Heather, Cupcake, Noah

Everyone talks about commitment in relationships, but what does it actually mean when you have more than one? Is it implied or does it have to be stated out loud? Can you even cheat in a poly relationship? This episode the PolySoCal roundtable takes on one of the most misunderstood assumptions about ethical non-monogamy — that having multiple partners means having no structure at all. Noah breaks down commitment as negotiation, Cookie reframes it as behavioral alignment rather than a promise, Cupcake ties it to expectations and chronic unpredictability, and Heather cuts right to the heart of it with the most honest definition of the night. And for the first time, a monogamous voice joins the table offering a perspective that turns out to be closer to poly than anyone expected. By the end, one question nobody saw coming reframes everything: can you cheat while polyamorous? The answer might surprise you. 

Participants: Alonzo Banks (Host) · Noah · Cookie · Cupcake · Heather · Victor (Guest) 

 Most poly families are one crisis away from a legal nightmare — and they don't know it. In this episode, Alonzo sits down with attorney Toby Adams, who has spent 14 years specializing in family law and estate planning exclusively for poly, queer, kink, and neurodiverse communities. Toby breaks down what rights actually exist for poly parents in California and beyond, how to get all three parents on a birth certificate, why a will or trust can protect your polycule where the law won't, and what happens to your home, your children, and your partner's belongings if you never put anything in writing. Allegra Pescatore, general manager of Toby Adams Law and a poly community member herself, adds a deeply personal story about losing a partner with no legal protections in place  and why that moment changed everything she understood about why this work matters. This is the episode you didn't know you needed. Listen before you need it.

 Alonzo Banks (Host) · Attorney Toby Adams, Esq. (Toby Adams Law) · Allegra Pescatore (General Manager, Toby Adams Law / Author) · Captain Lynn

Toby Adams, Attorney at Law : http://www.TobyAdamsLaw.com  
Allegra Pescatore : website: authorallegra.com

In this deeply personal episode of PolySoCal, Noah and Cookie share the story of how they transitioned from long term monogamous marriages into a polyamorous BDSM relationship. The conversation explores repression, incompatibility, fear, guilt, cheating, divorce, and the difficult process of rebuilding a life around authenticity rather than obligation. Through honest reflection, the group discusses the emotional and practical realities of leaving relationships that no longer fit, the risks involved in radical change, and the importance of therapy, communication, and support systems when stepping into ethical non monogamy. This episode is not about a perfect transition. It is about what happens when people finally decide to stop ignoring who they are.

Alonzo Banx, Noah, Cookie

In this episode, PolySoCal brings in an East Coast triad to explore the intersection of polyamory and kink. The conversation dives into whether poly is inherently kinky, how BDSM frameworks influence communication and structure, and where emotional relationships differ from play or connection. Through real experiences, the group breaks down the overlap, the misconceptions, and the realities of building relationships rooted in honesty, power dynamics, and intentional communication. This episode highlights that while poly and kink often intersect, they are not the same, and each relationship defines its own boundaries. 

Alonzo Banx, Noah, Heather, Joshua, Cat, Natalie 

In this roundtable episode of PolySoCal, the group takes an honest look at the harder side of polyamory. While the community often celebrates the freedom and connection that poly relationships can bring, the panel digs into the realities that come with it. Jealousy, insecurity, heartbreak, communication struggles, and the emotional work required to maintain multiple relationships are all part of the conversation. Through personal stories and candid discussion, the group explores why people continue choosing poly even when it becomes difficult, and how security, trust, and communication help partners navigate the challenges. 

 Alonzo Banx, Cupcake, Noah, Dalia, Heather, Lana, Blake, Max 

In this episode of PolySoCal, the panel explores a deceptively simple question: can people move in and out of poly relationships and communities, or does belonging create deeper responsibilities? The conversation looks at how connection, identity, and commitment intersect in non monogamous spaces. Panelists share personal experiences about stepping away from relationships, returning to community, and navigating the tension between personal freedom and emotional accountability. The discussion highlights how trust, communication, and respect shape whether relationships remain open doors or closed chapters.

Host Alonzo BanX, Psy, Patty, John, Kat

In this episode, PolySoCal welcomes back Dr. Joli Hamilton for a deeper conversation about love languages, attachment needs, and how people experience connection in relationships. The discussion explores the limitations of rigid love language categories and how emotional needs shift based on context, life experience, and personal growth. Through personal stories and expert insight, the panel examines how curiosity, communication, and self awareness allow partners to better understand and support each other. This episode reframes connection not as a fixed formula, but as an evolving process of discovery. 

In this episode, the PolySoCal panel takes a focused look at three emotions central to polyamorous relationships: compersion, envy, and jealousy. The conversation explores how these feelings differ, how they often overlap, and how timing, communication, and emotional awareness shape the way they impact relationships.

Through personal experiences, the group examines how jealousy can signal unmet needs, how envy can arise from exclusion rather than fear of loss, and how compersion can develop over time through trust and security. The discussion also highlights the importance of processing emotions internally before communicating them, and how thoughtful delivery can strengthen connection rather than create unintended harm.

This episode offers grounded insight into the emotional complexity of polyamory and reinforces that these experiences are not signs of failure, but opportunities for deeper understanding and growth.

 Alonzo Banx, Max, Patty, Heather, Jon, Cookie, Lana, Blake