Poor Walter's Almanac

Most people are poor communicators, which explains why there are so many misunderstandings, resentments, grievances, screaming matches with loved ones and on X (formerly Twitter) and other social media sites with people who disagree with you. It's because people don't listen. They don't think before they speak. And this causes most of the ongoing conflicts in their lives. If you are one of these people, here is the secret sauce to effective communication that works with loved ones, friends, neighbors, peers, co-workers, employers, you name it: First VALIDATE. And then COUNTERPOINT. By validating first, you reduce the likelihood that the person will get defensive and angry, causing the dialogue to unravel quickly. So when you feel the need to criticize someone and/or enlighten that person, think before you speak and choose a validating statement before making your case.

When most people are given a suggestion to do something, they immediately respond with "No! That's stupid. That won't work. I'm not going to do it." They don't consider the suggestion. They don't look at the evidence. They don't weigh the good points vs the bad points. They say no. This is a mistake. This automatic knee-jerk no is thoughtless. It is ego. It is self-sabotaging. Best to consider all options. Investigate the validity. Consider the possibility. Odds are you will discover yourself doing things in your best interest that you used to immediately negate. You will be wiser. Your world will get better. You will be happier, healthier, and more prosperous.

In these divisive times when we are filled with fear, confusion and rage, what is the answer? What is the solution? Ultimately it is quite simple: to treat others as we wish to be treated. To release our judgment and attack thoughts. To try to embrace as much as possible acceptance, tolerance, empathy, compassion and forgiveness. It's not easy but it's ultimately the only path to inner peace and world peace. It is the only way we will truly heal our nation and our world, our personal relationships, our business relationships, all relationships. We must remember that we are all connected, that we are all part of the oneness of the universe, whether you believe in God or not, whether you believe in religion or not, it doesn't matter, the golden rule is a universal principle of right action and ultimate salvation. Don't just think it, apply it, be it! And watch your inner world and your outer world get better!

When a patient asked me how to deal with panic attacks that were caused by a feud between her husband and her daughter that was pulling her part, she asked me if I could help. Essentially, my advice was to disengage from the process, to set a boundary with both of them that this is their problem and they need to resolve it without drawing you into it and forcing you to take sides or be a go-between. Listen for my entire response.

Use this time during the pandemic to self-reflect, to challenge the choices you have made up to now, to consider other options, to be grateful for what you have, to appreciate those around you, to express your love to those you claim to care about most, and to stop your default ways of responding to others with irritability, sarcasm, judgment, etc. Use your time well to reform your Self and to make a commitment to express forgiveness, acceptance, gratitude, tolerance, mindfulness and compassion to all those who cross your path, without conditions and without exceptions.

There is another contagion spreading exponentially throughout the fabric of our society, throughout our collective consciousness. A contagion of hypocrisy and lies. A loss of objectivity. And it's not just "them." It's US! ALL OF US! We're all liars. We're all part of the problem. We need to #StopTheLying.

I will be well. I will myself to be well. Nothing can attack me or harm me except my own thoughts, except my fear. Regardless of circumstances, I remember who I AM: I am NOT a body. I am Free. I am guiltless. I am sinless. I am eternal. I am invulnerable. I am as God created me. Only the mind can be sick. Only the mind is in need of healing.

To be "woke" is to engage in acceptance, tolerance, forgiveness, compassion and honest communication with everyone, without conditions and without exceptions. We treat everyone as we wish to be treated. We do not engage in judging, blaming, shaming, guilting, attacking or demonizing, regardless of how they are behaving. Becoming woke is a spiritual awakening. It is mindfulness. It is personal growth. It is a commitment to unconditional love.

We are not going to stop mass shootings if we blame the wrong things. We have to identify and address the root cause which largely has nothing to do with what is happening in our society now. It has to do with what happened to these mass shooters when they were children starting to go off the rails. #daytonohioshooting, #elpasoshooting #news

Let me just say that this is an invaluable exercise if you choose to engage in it. This will improve your relationships, your self-esteem, your ability to maximize the Law of Attraction, your health and your happiness. AND it will help move humanity up the evolutionary ladder.