Poorly Summarized

Mike discusses techniques for getting high on the cheap, inanimate object arousal, his recent family reunion, how he felt when he learned he had a son on the way, and whether Scaramucci is a great thing that happened to this country or the greatest thing to have ever happened to this country.

Links:

• SCARAMUCCI: Trump will govern by "whiteboard" - Business Insider
• White House alters Scaramucci press briefing transcript to make Trump's golf more impressive | The Independent
• An email prankster pretending to be Reince Priebus got a very real rise out of Anthony Scaramucci - Vox
• Anthony Scaramucci erroneously listed as dead in the new Harvard Law alumni directory - The Washington Post

Trump empathizes about health insurance costs, a free wi-fi provider stipulates ridiculously onerous terms and conditions, Kate Upton’s good looks “prove” the divinity of Jesus, Walmart begins selling fruit punch pickles, and Louis Kahn builds a floating concert hall.

Special Guest: Joshua Leigh Wolfe.

Links:

• Trump has no idea how much health insurance costs - Vox
• Trump to Pat Robertson: 'You Will Be Saying Merry Christmas Again Very Soon'
• Trump explains why he wants to be able to 'see through' his border wall
• President Donald Trump: Read His Off-the-Record Briefing | Time.com
• Eating Your Placenta Might Harm Your Baby
• Sick baby prompts concern over placenta pills - CNN.com
• 22,000 People Agree to Clean Toilets for WiFi Because They Didn't Read the Terms
• Freedom From Atheism Foundation (FFAF) - Posts
• Freedom From Atheism Foundation - Conservapedia
• Walmart releases fruit punch-flavored pickles | 6abc.com
• Little-Known Floating Concert Hall Designed by Louis Kahn Faces Demolition | ArchDaily

Donald Trump Jr. and Chipotle are on the ropes, R. Kelly starts a sex cult, Mike contemplates the origins of the universe, slime-filled eel truck overturns on U.S. 101 in Oregon, and Marta Minujín builds a replica of the Parthenon out of banned books.

Special Guest: Adam Christopher.

Links:

• Finally, a Poll Trump Will Like: Clinton Is Even More Unpopular - Bloomberg
• Donald J. Trump on Twitter: "HillaryClinton can illegally get the questions to the Debate & delete 33,000 emails but my son Don is being scorned by the Fake News Media?"
• Only 45% of Trump voters believe Don Jr. met with the Russians, after Junior admitted it - AMERICAblog News
• U.S. Secret Service rejects suggestion it vetted Trump son's meeting
• Truck full of eels overturns on U.S. 101, dousing sedan with slithering sea creatures | OregonLive.com
• Parents Told Police Their Daughter Is Being Held Against Her Will In R. Kelly’s “Cult”
• Wall Street battling over Chipotle after plunge on norovirus report
• "Parthenon of Books" Constructed from 100,000 Banned Books Rises at Nazi Book Burning Site in Germany | ArchDaily

Trump Jr.’s emails hint at light treason, a fox has been pissing on the bureau of meteorology’s rain gauge, Nazism is wrongly compared to Islam, fish are becoming transgender, and SFMOMA gets a chat bot.

Special Guest: Matthew Van Dyke.

Links:

• What happened and when: The timeline leading up to Donald Trump Jr.’s fateful meeting - The Washington Post
• ‘Category 5 hurricane’: White House under siege by Trump Jr.’s Russia revelations
• Conway to CNN's Cuomo: Aren't you embarrassed 'to talk more about Russia than America'? | TheHill — "Aren’t you the least bit reluctant, if not embarrassed, that you now talk about Russia more than you talk about America?”
• Fox's chief intelligence correspondent edited out mention of Russian government when quoting Trump Jr. emails — During Fox News’ Outnumbered, chief intelligence correspondent Catherine Herridge reported on the developments, reading “key sections” from the email chain between Trump Jr. and the intermediary, Rob Goldstone. Herridge read:

David Beckham is outed as a familial lip kisser, a religious group thinks silent reading parties are a sign of the Apocalypse, “our” ancestors “adopted” the country’s “culture”, Zillow sues McMansion Hell, and Blake Fall-Conroy builds a minimum wage machine.

Special Guests: Benjamin R. Cohen, Liam O’Donnell, and Simon Tonev.

Links:

• Sometimes Puns Are a Sign of a Damaged Brain -- Science of Us
• A Religious Group Thinks Silent-Reading Parties Are a Sign of the Apocalypse - Slog - The Stranger
• Stupid shit
• McMansion Hell
• This Mind-Numbing Machine Lets You Experience Making The Minimum Wage

The New York Times catalogues all of Trump’s lies, a deluded “breatharian” couple claims to survive without food, Mark Whelan posts an All Lives Matter meme (some conditions apply), 7 percent of Americans think brown cows make chocolate milk, and Mexico City combats sexual violence on the metro with an artisanal “penis seat”.

Special Guests: Sarah Rice and Susie Meister.

Links:

• President Trump’s Lies, the Definitive List - The New York Times
• Trump-rested Development - YouTube
• ‘Breatharian’ couple survives on ‘the universe’s energy’ instead of food | New York Post
• A couple claimed they learned to live without food, and news outlets ate it up - Jun. 21, 2017
• Stupid Shit: Mark Whelan updated his cover photo.
• Report: 7 Percent of Americans Think Brown Cows Make Chocolate Milk
• Mexico City metro's 'penis seat' sparks debate - BBC News

Facebook launches support for GIF comments, Justin encounters a greater pedant, the wall is getting solar panels, Mike playacts in a diner, The Activist Mommy encourages back-door emoji self-exploration, and Brett Foxwell animates the decomposition of wood.

Links:

• Donald Trump berates London mayor over response to terror attacks | UK news | The Guardian
• Donald J. Trump on Twitter: "Pathetic excuse by London Mayor Sadiq Khan who had to think fast on his "no reason to be alarmed" statement. MSM is working hard to sell it!"
• Donald Trump Jr. on Twitter: "I wonder how much of this "art" is funded by taxpayers? Serious question, when does "art" become political speech & does that change things? https://t.co/JfOmLLBJCn"
• The Activist Mommy - Photos
• How to get the Pride rainbow flag reaction on Facebook
• WoodSwimmer: A New Stop-Motion Short Made Entirely by Tediously Cutting Through Wood | Colossal

Mike brings a baby to the movies, Trump’s cabinet members take turns praising their Dear Leader, Facebook users troll Roy Moore with the Pride reaction, The Joker can’t understand why school children are “allowed” to “curse like sailors”, umbilical cord art is a thing, Royal de Luxe builds gigantic marionettes.

Special Guest: Jeff Mac.

Links:

• Trump pitched Republican leaders on a solar-paneled border wall - Axios
• Trump’s claim that Americans ‘built the Golden Gate Bridge in four years and the Hoover Dam in five’ - The Washington Post
• Donald Trump just held the weirdest Cabinet meeting ever - CNNPolitics.com
• President Trump’s Cabinet Lovefest - The New York Times
• The 'COVFEFE Act' Is Necessary Legislation With a Name That Makes Us All Want to Die — A new bill introduced in Congress this week is looking to enforce those rules with regard to Trump’s personal account since he often uses it to make announcements altering US policy, both foreign and domestic—even though there’s a zero chance in hell anything Trump tweets will ever disappear from the internet.

Spicer defends ‘covfefe’ tweet, Portland burrito cart closes after owners are accused of cultural appropriation, Joshua Feuerstein is triggered by rainbow fries, Arizona man wears colander on head for driver’s license photo, and Mike contemplates getting an Everett Ruess tattoo.

Special Guest: Adam Bates.

Links:

• Sean Spicer admits that Donald Trump’s tweets are “official statements” - Salon.com
• Fox host to Trump: ‘Fake news media’ isn’t the issue, it’s you | TheHill
• Inside Trump’s climate decision: After fiery debate, he ‘stayed where he’s always been’ - The Washington Post
• DC bar to offer free drinks for every Trump tweet during Comey testimony | TheHill
• Portland Burrito Cart Closes After Owners Are Accused Of Cultural Appropriation | HuffPost
• Dusty Smith on Twitter: "These two posts were literally 10 minutes apart. https://t.co/o2cKYlN1Jr"
• Success (and trouble) for Arizona Pastafarian’s ID Photo « Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
• Everett Ruess - Wikipedia
• Blockprint Image Gallery – Everett Ruess™

Richard Spencer has a rough time at the gym, Trump's alleged ties to Russia are compared and contrasted against Obama's purported ties to the Muslim Brotherhood, a demolition crew accidentally tears down the wrong building, Mike pushes his friend off a ledge, and Edoardo Tresoldi builds a pavillion out of wire.

Special Guest: Cory Johnston.

Links:

• The Latest: Trump says 'major help from God' need to win - 5/13/2017 10:50:14 AM | Newser
• Trump's iPhone has one app: Twitter - Axios
• Donald Trump thinks exercise will kill you - Vox
• Trump Team Stands by Budget's $2 Trillion Math Error - NBC News
• An Expansive Pavilion of Architectural Elements Constructed from Wire Mesh by Edoardo Tresoldi | Colossal
• White Nationalist Richard Spencer's Gym Terminated His Membership After A Woman Called Him A Neo-Nazi
• Watch a Mortified Demolition Crew Accidentally Tear Down the Wrong Building