Let’s hop into the Tardis and take you back to a simpler time. Hold up your sporks and prepare to ship Sherlock with the Onceler. Do you remember when Johnny Depp was basically just Jack Sparrow in every damn movie? Let us remind you with Mortdecai[2015]. Depp plays the titular lord Mordecai. He’s English and he has a bad mustache. That’s a whole recurring joke they drive into the ground faster than a Robin Reliant strapped to a rocket. He has a wife, Gweneth Paltrow, and a rival in Ewan Mcgregor who’s horny for her. He’s deep in tax dept to the state and takes a job to help locate …

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