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Power To Be Happy: Journey of Healing, Together
Power To Be Happy: Journey of Healing, Together episodes
- #63 – What Friends Are For And Where To Find ThemDo you remember the first time that you made a friend?You made memories together, and this friend, they made you feel right, like your true authentic yourself – recognised, not forgotten.For me, it’s Andriy and Yurchik my best mates from school in Ukraine.As founders of our very own Secret Mischief Society, we did fun, stupid, dangerous things, the way kids do when they are too young to know better.And one day we found ourselves at the back door of a bread factory…These were harsh times, when you standing in a queue for two hours to get sugar was a win, and the temptation was clear.I will never forget the taste of the steaming hot bread we ripped in pieces and devoured right there, on the spot…Stealing that bread was wrong, and we knew it, but there was a strange excitement that we felt in that moment.These experiences that we share as friends, they bring us together, they shape us, they make us FEEL a certain way.It’s not always perfect so it’s all the more important to ensure they aren’t just a relic of the past, an old habit that isn’t serving you now, but it’s supporting you in your own growth today.And this week on Happy YOU we dive into friendship and how to make it for you and your way of life:
If you are looking for a pick me up, check out my brand new book on thriving in times of uncertainty:
25 min - #62 – How To Build Trust Without TryingTrust – it seemingly comes out of nowhere, but it’s easy to lose, and you know when it’s gone.It’s a feeling, and you can always know if it’s there, or not…We could ever survive without trust:There can be no real friendship, no allies, no true love…Most important, it’s the trust in yourself to get things right.It’s the one thing throwing me off before doing a podcast, or speaking in front of others…It’s these worries that spring up and prong you – are you ready? What if you mess up and look stupid? And just who on earth are you to be speaking, you’ve no right to be on stage!I remember this one talk I did at the library, one of my first, oh, I was nervous…I was a wreck! I was thirsty in one moment, and sweating the next, fidgety, don’t know what to do with myself…But sitting down on the bench, a thought struck me:I’m only sharing something that might be helpful in their life, so…This is not about me, it’s about them!And that, my friend, made it incredibly liberating.I put aside the worries and concerns about self, what could go wrong, and focus on the people, and being super present, and giving real value…Because that’s the only thing that matters, and that takes the pressure right off.I can be me, and have fun, and deliver as best I can.And I trust myself to do this – not in my achievements, or commanding voice, or being uber confident, but in my aspirations:To be present, passionate, sharing my best.It’s easy to put trust in what you give away, isn’t it?For more on trust, check out this week’s episode of The Happy YOU:
If you are looking for a pick me up, check out my brand new book on thriving in times of uncertainty:
18 min - #61 – Get Clarity About The Future You Want TodayWhat’s the first thing that disappears from our life in the face of uncertainty?It’s our ability to make plans.Because it’s hard to focus, to predict how things might turn out, and have confidence about moving your life forward…This is why it is absolutely vital to counter this directly – to make bold decisions, to make greater plans, to live up to our best hopes and dreams…Because when you have something to look forward to, life is going to feel different, starting today.Now that most definitely isn’t easy, but:What is vital is to start making plans, immediately.Without that, it’s very hard to move forward, keep focus and stay positive.And it does not have to be grand plans – you start where you are.Make plans for tomorrow.Make plans for the weekend – something realistic, manageable that will make you feel good.Make plans for the holidays, for next year, for the time you can envisage.Imagine yourself putting those plans into action – how do you see yourself in that moment, what could you be doing then?What it would feel like in the moment? Is there anyone there with you? How are you getting on?Be unrealistic – you don’t need a guarantee that everything will turn out perfectly…It never does!!But when you hope for the best, when you look forward to the future you want today, more things will turn out for you because you will come at it with a completely different level of energy and creative expression!!If you look towards the future and you’re not sure what the best steps are on your way towards, I can guide you through the four step process and figure it out.Check out this week’s episode of The Happy YOU for more:
If you are looking for a pick me up, check out my brand new book on thriving in times of uncertainty:
25 min - #60 – When Your Secrets Are Holding You BackWhen Olya and I started dating, I wasn’t sure what she’d think of my panic attacks.This isn’t a part of anyone’s wish list – and so I kept it to myself only to realise it was hurting me.This is what makes living with anxiety so exhausting – you are hard at work keeping up appearances, all of the time.Trying to be normal when you feel so wound up you’re ready to explode…What a drain!!So one day I decided it’s pointless – you cannot win by hiding who you are, and if this is the woman I want to share my life with, then she’ll be ok with it.And – she was! For which I’m gratefulBut what I love most of all is the freedom it’s given me to be myself, to stop apologising for who I am, and stop wasting energy on make belief which isn’t helpful, not in the least…So what might be the secret that’s holding you back?Find out more on this week’s episode of The Happy YOU:
If you are looking for a pick me up, check out my brand new book on thriving in times of uncertainty:
24 min - #59 – How To Feel Joyous and More Alive When You’re BusyThis – by far the most uncomfortable moment I had at work, ever.And a powerful lesson, of sorts…This was a time when the Y2K bubble burst and the job market for software went dead.And I mean dead, absolutely was nothing – only gig I could salvage in 18 months was a base wage at this startup.There were five of us in this basement coding away when the big boss started calling us in, one by one.It was tough, you could see it – each person came out with their head down, refusing to speak.But what is going on?! Are they firing us? But then why does everyone look??And I am the last one to go in:There’s hardly any light, the shutters drawn in, and the big boss leans in towards me:“Things haven’t been going to plan. Turns out, I can only keep three of you on,” he says.“Ok”, I offer meekly.He’s staring me down.“And you guys know each other better than I do, so you must decide.”I have ask, “Decide what?”He counters, “Who will stay and who will go. I have a sense you know what’s going on, so tell me – who needs to go?”What does this man want?!“I can’t tell you that!”He counters, “You can, and you will, if you want to keep your job.”“But I’m not the boss, it’s your place, you decide!”“I’ll be direct. If you don’t tell me right now, two names, you’re gone. Right now. This is the last chance.”I sat there, frozen. So many things went through my mind… Would it be easier to just tell him? I knew the guys who weren’t much good, and it wouldn’t be my decision in the end, anyway. But… Somehow, this is just so wrong…These were only words that came out.“I can’t. Do whatever you like.”I got up and walked away, exhausted, as if from a fight.I don’t remember what happened next, but I ended up staying in that job for another two years when the job market got better.Why am I sharing this story with you?It’s that boundaries are EVERYTHING.Sometimes we find them the hard way, but it’s a lot less hassle to put them in place yourself to stop things you don’t want from trampling you over.Putting boundaries in place is absolutely necessary to bring that sense of balance into your life.It’s simple, even if not always easy – but I believe there’s a way without compromising on what’s right for you and your way of life.If this can help you in your life today, then tune in to the latest episode of The Happy YOU:
If you are looking for a pick me up, check out my brand new book on thriving in times of uncertainty:
23 min - #58 – How To Make Sense of LifeIf you find yourself lost and not sure what to do, it’s a tough place to be…You jump from one thing to another to get answers, and it gets frustrating because it doesn’t add up and the answers won’t fit.And I can tell you why:For the entirety of our lives, we are told that the answer exists outside of you.That’s right – it’s like you are broken, and someone needs to come fix it…Wrong!!!I am here to tell you there’s not one thing that is wrong with you, and you don’t need to “get over it”, or wait for things to get resolved on their own, or expect someone else to do it for you.No – because you, my friend, have been through it before, you have found your own way through trouble, you have many times made yourself navigate through the uncharted waters to win!!All the answers are already within you, and you have a process to make sense of life, whether you know it or not.It may be hidden, obscured from view, and you may stumble through life in order to work things there, but…This process lives on inside you – it’s just a matter of uncovering what it is that works for you, and putting into play for your life, today.What’s more, when you have this process, and it’s dialled in to work for you to get clarity in key parts of your life, then not only do you have a repeatable process to make sense of life again, to work around problems, to feel more connected with people around you, to get creative solutions, to make a greater impact than ever before, but to also do it in the shortest amount of time possible.How do you go about drawing out your clarity process?I walk you through it in this week’s episode of The Happy YOU:
If you are looking for a pick me up, check out my brand new book on thriving in times of uncertainty:
31 min - #57 – Find Strength Through ChangeEvery day I wake up and drive to this reserve out in the bush.It’s peaceful, it’s nature, I love it there, but on the way, I see people go to the post office, walking their dogs, rushing to work, chat as they go to school…The rush of life:We’re all different, at diverging points of our lives, we come from different walks of life, and yet…The struggles that we share are often the same.You want to be heard, to be recognised, to find your own through life, to be understood, to get on top of worry and problems you run into each day…It’s not easy – if it was, we’d all live happily ever after.It takes courage, commitment to make sense of what is going on, to keep going, to find your path forward.But it is easier when you know that you’re not alone.It may not always feel this way, and so I want to remind you:Know this – in the darkest times, you are not alone!We are here, for you, with you, because just like you, we struggle, in some way, today or tomorrow, and without one trace of doubt…We’re in this together!!We will get through the tough times by being there for each other because that is the only way.Especially if you are going through change and need strength to hold on – I am sharing five key ideas to help you do that on this week’s episode of The Happy YOU:
If you are looking for a pick me up, check out my brand new book on thriving in times of uncertainty:
31 min - #56 – Believe In People And Believe In YouShe broke up with me over the phone.It’s easier – she said it’s not working, and we can still be friends.It didn’t seem real, not after five years, and yet, it was inevitable.Sometimes you don’t want to see what’s right in front of you, hoping that it will go away…It never does, only comes back to bite you.I don’t what stung more:Her leaving me for another man, or me being too scared to end it when I knew she cheated?We all this one moment of betrayal, this one foul twist of fate, one moment that trust was ruined for good, the one heinous deed that leaves a scar…Or maybe, it still hurts, but the worst part is…You lose trust in people.Not only in that person and what they did it to you, but somehow, drags the rest of the world down with it…And so we let the opportunity pass as by, we let good friends go without ever taking the chance to properly them, we let new experiences sail by unexplored, we dismiss the best of new ideas like scrap…All because of the one anomaly, the freak, one outlier destroy one hundred acts of beauty, of kindness, of true grit and selflessness…Because good deeds and great people and and true things, they are everywhere and they outnumber the rest – by a long shot!So why do we give them so much focus, attention they don’t deserve?!We must turn it around – for the sake of fairness and our own sense of deserving, to be happy, enough and belong.On how we can start trusting again, in people and the actions we take, check out this week’s episode of The Happy YOU:
If you are looking for a pick me up, check out my brand new book on thriving in times of uncertainty:
19 min - #55 – Five Ways To Get ClarityClarity begins and ends with you, today!I know I’m going to get slammed for this, but:In every challenge you face, when the raft of life tips you over the side and you’re gasping for air, trying to stay afloat…It’s no use to think of what’s fair and what isn’t, and it is of no help to make plans for the future, but to make sense of this moment, today.To figure out what makes sense for you and your way of life because more clarity helps you put aside rumination and fee tense.More clarity gives you the headspace you want to be more creative and spontaneous.When you find a greater clarity in the this moment and time, you’re going to be more present, more engaged because your mind is not cluttered with worry.With clarity, you make time for the things you love, with people that you care about the most. And you feel like you have more to give, don’t you? When you have that sense of having things under control, you have more room to make an impact and hep others.But finding clarity can be hard – especially when you’re going through a challenging time and you’re trying your best to keep up and keep going…So if we don’t seek clarity, we feel stuck and end up waiting for the situation to resolve or stumble upon insight by chance!Trouble is, it can take a looong time, and when you do, then it’s already too late?No, we must seek clarity NOW, to get answers, and do it fast because you already have all the answers inside of you, and it’s only a matter of drawing them out.To help you do that, I want to take you through five ways to get clarity in your life today on this week’s episode of The Happy YOU:
If you are looking for a pick me up, check out my brand new book on thriving in times of uncertainty:
42 min - #54 – Living Proof You’re EnoughYou’re supposed to feel excited before the date, but the strongest feeling that I ever was the urge to run away.Every time it was the same, especially when when I turned up at that speed dating night.You walk in and see the lights, you look at people around you, and feel like a fraud.They’re here for reason, they’re normal, and who am I?What am I doing here – only to make a fool of myself, again…Who am I, expecting something, anything, to go my way…And what is it that I want, really?To give love, and be loved in return:I want it, and I want to give, so how that can ever be wrong?Don’t we all deserve to be happy, to be loved, cherished and celebrated for who we are on the inside?So what if there are always those parts of you that worry, and question, and doubt?That’s ok, they are there for a reason – to remind you that you’re worth it, that your choices need to be deliberate, and that the only way to go is…Forward!That is the only way.And in that moment, at speed dating, I made the choice to stay, and show up at my best.It didn’t work out then, but it was but one turn in the chain of events where each time I made a choice to keep going, and it brought me to love.Feeling enough – it is crucial, in your work, with your loved ones, and in your hopes and your dreams, but…It’s not always easy – so let me go there with you this week on The Happy YOU!Our focus in this week’s episode is Living Proof You’re ENOUGH:
If you are looking for a pick me up, check out my brand new book on thriving in times of uncertainty:
24 min
About Power To Be Happy: Journey of Healing, Together
From the publisher's feed
When you have a difficult story in life, it is so hard to bring it out into the open and “deal with it”… Sometimes you don’t even realise just how much it’s been affecting you in your day to day – or…
so has it been for me. And so I am trying to make sense of it all, and in this podcast, I want to share some of the vital things that I’m learning on this journey towards healing and hope. You are not alone, my friend! I’m here for you, and you – you deserve to be happy, and let’s figure things out TOGETHER!