Praxis Podcast with Rhett Smith

Imagine you are in a room and two different type of men walk in. One is encouraging, inspiring and vulnerable. He's not just there physically, but he has shown up emotionally as well. He's connected to those around him. And because he shows up this way, others will feed off that and grow. He's what I call a life-giving man. But the other man is there only physically, not emotionally. He's not connected to those around him. He tends to be critical, lives in fear, and is often quick to anger or be impatient. He's someone who sucks the life out of those around him...the total opposite of a life-giving man.

In this episode I share briefly this idea of life-giving man which I have written about extensively, but I also dive into 3 important messages that life-giving men communicate to those around them. In this episode I talk a lot about the father/son relationship, but just because you may not have a son, there are probably other men in your life that need you to be a life-giver. And if you are woman listening to this episode, then I talk about the importance of having this insight into the men in your life.

In my book What it Means to be a Man, I quote a passage from Richard Rohr's book, The Wild Man's Journey: Reflections on Male Spirituality. In this quote you get an essence of these two very different men.

In this episode we explore:

• what a life-giving man is and isn't.
• the three questions that a father "needs" to communicate to his son according to Larry Crabb in his book The Silence of Adam.
• how men can use those three questions to be life-givers to those around them.
• how to look for opportunities to be a life-giving man in your relationships whether in marriage, parenting, the work place, etc.

Please listen and subscribe to my podcast in the following places, and then leave a comment letting me know what you liked about the show, or what guest you would like to hear from. Thank you so much for your support.

iTunes -- Stitcher

Player FM -- Libsyn

Resources Mentioned in the Podcast

What it Means to be a Man: God's Design for Us in a World Full of Extremes by Rhett Smith

The Silence of Adam: Becoming Men of Courage in a World Full of Chaos by Larry Crabb, Don Michael Hudson, Al Andrews

The Wild Man's Journey: Reflections on Male Spirituality by Richard Rohr and Joseph Markos

A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis

Derek Redmond and his inspiring 1992 Olympic run. (In my podcast episode I mistakenly referred to his Olympic run as being in Seoul in 1988, rather than in Barcelona 1992).

In the last episode (Rhett Smith Podcast 34: Nine Practices and Disciplines That Will Help You Transform Your Morning Routine) I talked at length about my morning routine and the nine disciplines and practices that accompany (on most good days). But in that episode I didn't address a couple of very important issues, even though after I recorded it I was thinking that I had missed talking about some things.

But a couple of people contacted me to ask if I had any thoughts or suggestions on the morning routine in various stages of life...most specifically with an infant, or young kids in the house. And the other great question was how to you navigate maintaining your own morning routine in a relationship with a person who also has/wants to have their own morning routine as well? One that wasn't mentioned, but that I thought of as I was recording this follow up was single parents and the difficulty then often have maintaining a morning routine.

So in this short episode I address these issues:

• how to navigate the morning routine with infants or kids in the house.
• the importance of acknowledging the stage of life you are in and making allowances for that.
• how to explore, support and encourage the morning routine of your partner.
• what does self-care in a morning routine look like for a single parent.

Please listen and subscribe to my podcast in the following places, and then leave a comment letting me know what you liked about the show, or what guest you would like to hear from. Thank you so much for your support.

iTunes -- Stitcher

Player FM -- Libsyn

It seems to me that how I start my day off...especially the first 1-2 hours, often dictates how the rest of my day goes, or to what degree I will navigate the ups and downs of it successfully. And I’m not alone in thinking this. It’s not surprising that many of the podcasts I listen to often ask their guests what their morning routines or rituals look like (i.e. Tim Ferriss, Rich Roll, Lewis Howes, etc.). They do this because they know that a lot of research both statistical and anecdotal point to the fact that how we start our morning plays a big part in how are days go.

As a life long night owl this has been a really hard reality for me to not only wrap my head around, but actually come around to practicing it. But if a 12am-2am’er such as myself can go to bed by 11pm so he can start his day off right the next morning..then maybe that tells you all you need to know about how important our morning routines are.

I have by no means mastered my morning, and I really doubt I ever will. Because life is life, and sometimes it gets complicated and busy. But I can tell you this. I have worked really hard over the last several years to experiment with and implement different disciplines and practices into my life to see not only how they would affect my morning routine, but to really test out if becoming a morning person was all that important.

And after much trial and error I’ve come up with 9 disciplines and practices that I use pretty regularly in my morning routine. The routine is not perfect, but more often than not when I’m hitting on all cylinders, these 9 practices are evident in my daily morning routine (even as I write this post for the podcast I did have 8 of the 9 disciplines present in my morning routine -- Headspace didn't happen today -- that tends to be the one I trade off with the journal). And even when I’m not running on all cylinders, you can find me practicing most of these disciplines on a daily basis.

The good news is that after much experimentation and practice with one discipline at a time, I was slowly able to add another one, create a habit, till eventually most of my morning routine is less of a laborious conscious effort, and one that has developed into a nice flow and rhythm in my day.

In this episode I will explore my 9 practices and disciplines that embody my first few hours of my day...my morning routine:

1. Body Movement (running, lifting weights, yoga, stretching, cycling, swimming, etc.)
2. Listening to podcasts that inspire growth and challenge beliefs.
3. Avoid the consumption of technology that dictates my day rather than keeps me from creating (email, news feeds, social media feeds, etc.) for the first 1-4 hours of my day.
4. Make the bed.
5. Make a green smoothie
6. Connect with my wife and kids.
7. Do the Five-Minute Journal
8. Use the Headspace app
9. Prayer

Please listen and subscribe to my podcast in the following places, and then leave a comment letting me know what you liked about the show, or what guest you would like to hear from. Thank you so much for your support.

iTunes -- Stitcher

Player FM -- Libsyn

Links and Resources Mentioned in this Episode

Rich Roll Podcast

Lewis Howes' podcast The School of Greatness

Tim Ferriss' Podcast

On Being Pocast with Krista Tippett

The Five-Minute Journal

Headsapce

5 Morning Rituals That Help Me Win the Day (Tim Ferriss in this podcast episode talks about his morning routine and the importance of making the bed)

What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast (Success Magazine)

The Morning Routines of the Most Successful People (Fast Company Magazine)

My Green Smoothie Recipe (This is the typical green smoothie I make each morning, though I will change things up. You have to adjust to your own liking, but this is my typical measurements for two people. By the way, I'm known to not really measure things, but this is what I typically aim for. If there is a brand we typically, and consistently use, I mention it here. And I use a Vitamix which creates a great consistency: Coconut Almond Milk (2 cups, Califia), Plant Based Vanilla Protein Powder (1.5 scoops, Garden of Life Raw Meal), Maca Powder (1 tbsp, Navitas Naturals Organic Maca Gelatinized Powder), Chia Seeds (1 tbsp, Nutiva Organic Black Chia Seeds), Hemp Hearts (1tbsp, Manitoba Harvest Hemp Hearts Raw Shelled Hemp Seeds), Kale, Spinach, Dates (3 pitted dates), Goji Berries (1/2 cup of berries), 1 tsp of Spirulina, 1 Banana, 1-2 cups of Ice.

Here is the video on shot on my morning routine about 7 months ago. In it I talk about The Five-Minute Journal and Headspace

There are two stories in the Bible that have gripped my imagination for the last 5-6 years. One is the story of Jesus at his baptism, specifically in the gospel of Mark 1:9-11, which records the voice of God the Father in Heaven declaring to his son Jesus (while the Spirit is descending like a dove), "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." Here is the passage:

The other story is found in Genesis 32-33 and records the story of Jacob as he prepares to be reunited with his estranged brother Esau. In earlier years jacob had stolen Esau's birthright and blessing and is now preparing to meet up with again...with some fear and trembling I might add. I am fascinated by the story of Jacob wrestling with God. I am fascinated with this scene:

But what is really fascinating to me is the ensuing encounter that Jacob has with Esau after he has wrestled with God. There is a beautiful play on the word for eyes in Hebrew, and a very beautiful encounter of not only seeing God face to face, but seeing his brother Esau face to face. Both of these stories are examples of a person being and living out of their Truth, and therefore, they lend insight to us about what that might look like for us to be and live in our Truth in our lives.

Identifying, acknowledging, being, and living out of your Truth is a hard task for most people that I know. Many feel they don't know or have a Truth, while others struggle to practice and access it in their daily lives. The reality is, is that living in our Truth is not a work of perfection, or arriving at it permanently, but rather an ongoing struggle to believe and live beyond ourselves. For when we do this, not only are we transformed, but so are our relationships.

In this episode I explore:

• what it means to be in our Truth
• Jesus' baptism and the model it presents for being in our Truth
• Jacob wrestling with God and what it teaches us about being in our Truth
• how being in our Truth impacts not only us, but our relationships
• 3 sources for finding our Truth
• Henri Nouwen and his book, In the Name of Jesus

Please listen and subscribe to my podcast in the following places, and then leave a comment letting me know what you liked about the show, or what guest you would like to hear from. Thank you so much for your support.

iTunes -- Stitcher

Player FM -- Libsyn

Resources Mentioned in this Episode

Henri Nouwen and In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership

Henri Nouwen and Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World

Genesis 32 and 33

Mark 1:9-11

Restoration Therapy

This last week was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I'm still processing it and will for much time to come. But as I talked about in Episode 30 of this podcast, I set out last February to redefine my success as showing up, rather than just achieving a goal. And in order to do that I set my sights on a monumental goal for myself that held a high risk of failure. So I signed up for the Palo Duro 50 Mile Trail Run in the Palo Duro Canyon outside of Amarillo, TX.

Well that goal came to fruition on Saturday after I crossed the finish line of the 50 mile race in 11 hours and 48 minutes. It was a long, lonely day at many points, but I learned some really important lessons that day that have great implication for my life, for future goals I will set...and I strongly believe that these lessons are transferable to your life and any goals you set out for yourself.

So in this podcast I explore those three lessons:

• the importance of having a support team on your side when choosing to set and achieve a goal. Setting and achieving goals is never a solo act, and if it is, it often leaves a wake of relational destruction behind it.
• the importance of being mindful that sometimes achieving certain goals require a level of unbalance in our lives for a season. So how do you work on being healthy when things will be unbalanced?
• the importance of investing in and including your support team from the beginning through the end...because you are going to need them to achieve the goal.

Please listen and subscribe to my podcast in the following places, and then leave a comment letting me know what you liked about the show, or what guest you would like to hear from. Thank you so much for your support.

iTunes -- Stitcher

Player FM -- Libsyn

This last week was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I'm still processing it and will for much time to come. But as I talked about in Episode 30 of this podcast, I set out last February to redefine my success as showing up, rather than just achieving a goal. And in order to do that I set my sights on a monumental goal for myself that held a high risk of failure. So I signed up for the Palo Duro 50 Mile Trail Run in the Palo Duro Canyon outside of Amarillo, TX.

Well that goal came to fruition on Saturday after I crossed the finish line of the 50 mile race in 11 hours and 48 minutes. It was a long, lonely day at many points, but I learned some really important lessons that day that have great implication for my life, for future goals I will set...and I strongly believe that these lessons are transferable to your life and any goals you set out for yourself.

So in this podcast I explore those three lessons:

Please listen and subscribe to my podcast in the following places, and then leave a comment letting me know what you liked about the show, or what guest you would like to hear from. Thank you so much for your support.

iTunes -- Stitcher

Player FM -- Libsyn

I have been looking forward to having Dr. Cameron Jorgenson on my podcast for a long time. Dr. Jorgenson is one of the smartest and most thoughtful people that I know, and so it was with great anticipation that I had him on this week's episode.

But first a little backstory. I first met Dr. Jorgenson in and around 1993/1994 at Grand Canyon University when we were both freshmen. A lot of things have changed since we first met in an introduction to philosophy class -- GCU used to be a very tiny, Christian liberal arts college for one; and I'm sure our philosophical and theological outlook has also changed quite a bit since that first class. Dr. Jorgenson didn't have his Ph.D then and I only knew him as Cameron. In our time at Grand Canyon we sort of knew each other, but often ran in different social circles. But in January 1998, six months after we graduated, we both ended up at Fuller Theological Seminary's Southwest Campus in Phoenix. And for the next three years Cameron and I took every class together and studied relentlessly (Greek, Hebrew, Systematic Theology, Church History, etc, etc.). I can't even tell you the thousands of hours we put in studying over coffee in various coffee shops and book stores in the Phoenix area.

And it was in this time that our friendship really began to develop and grow, and I came to really admire Cameron for his love of Christ, his intellectual rigor, and the way he put those into loving practice in the relationships and communities around him. Cameron and I then went on to live in Antigua, Guatemala with some host families for three months while we studied Spanish, followed by a trip with Fuller Southwest to Syria, Jordan and Israel. And then we ended up rooming together in Pasadena for one year as we finished up our Master of Divinity degrees at the main campus. Cameron then went on to Baylor to get his Ph.D, and now teaches Theology and Ethics at Campbell Divinity School in North Carolina.

I give you this backstory to paint for you a better picture of the friendship I have with Cameron. Because when he and I started talking about having him on the podcast he pitched to me the idea of talking about the 7 deadly sins and relationships/marriage I wasn't exactly sure what I thought about the idea. I talk a lot about marriage and relationships, and I'm familiar with the 7 deadly sins, but I wasn't sure of how we might connect them and offer something to the listener of value. So I was intrigued. And my intrigue was not disappointed.

In this episode Dr. Jorgenson (sorry I keep switching from Cameron to Dr. Jorgenson) talks about what he refers to as the 7 vices, and why they should be of interest to us today, what we can learn from them, and how they can teach us in more depth about who we are and how we struggle.

In this episode we explore:

• the 7 vices (lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride)how the 7 vices point out to us a "disordered desire" for something specific
• we explore in greater depth sex and food (lust and gluttony) and how they impact our relationships
• resources to help one better understand and learn from the 7 vices
• the work of Rebecca Konyndyk DeYoung and her book Glittering Vices
• sex and pornography
• food and table

Please listen and subscribe to my podcast in the following places, and then leave a comment letting me know what you liked about the show, or what guest you would like to hear from. Thank you so much for your support.

iTunes -- Stitcher

Player FM -- Libsyn

Resources and People Mentioned in this Episode Dr. Cameron Jorgenson Grand Canyon University Baylor University Fuller Theological Seminary Campbell Divinity School

Glittering Vices: A New Look at the Seven Deadly Sins and Their Remedies by Rebecca Konyndyk DeYoung

Food and Faith: A Theology of Eating by Norman Wirzba

Bringing it to the Table: On Farming and Food by Wendell Berry and Michael Pollan

The Art of the Commonplace: The Agrarian Essays of Wendell Berry

Encyclical Letter, Laudato Si, of the Holy Father, Francis, On Care for Our Common Home by Pope Francis

Fight the New Drug

On Evil by Thomas Aquinas

Soil and Sacrament: A Spiritual Memoir of Food and Faith by Fred Bahnson

Pornography and Acedia by Reinhard Hutter

Alton Brown on Foodies, Fame, Fast Food, and Guns

I have been looking forward to having Dr. Cameron Jorgenson on my podcast for a long time. Dr. Jorgenson is one of the smartest and most thoughtful people that I know, and so it was with great anticipation that I had him on this week's episode.

But first a little backstory. I first met Dr. Jorgenson in and around 1993/1994 at Grand Canyon University when we were both freshmen. A lot of things have changed since we first met in an introduction to philosophy class -- GCU used to be a very tiny, Christian liberal arts college for one; and I'm sure our philosophical and theological outlook has also changed quite a bit since that first class. Dr. Jorgenson didn't have his Ph.D then and I only knew him as Cameron. In our time at Grand Canyon we sort of knew each other, but often ran in different social circles. But in January 1998, six months after we graduated, we both ended up at Fuller Theological Seminary's Southwest Campus in Phoenix. And for the next three years Cameron and I took every class together and studied relentlessly (Greek, Hebrew, Systematic Theology, Church History, etc, etc.). I can't even tell you the thousands of hours we put in studying over coffee in various coffee shops and book stores in the Phoenix area.

And it was in this time that our friendship really began to develop and grow, and I came to really admire Cameron for his love of Christ, his intellectual rigor, and the way he put those into loving practice in the relationships and communities around him. Cameron and I then went on to live in Antigua, Guatemala with some host families for three months while we studied Spanish, followed by a trip with Fuller Southwest to Syria, Jordan and Israel. And then we ended up rooming together in Pasadena for one year as we finished up our Master of Divinity degrees at the main campus. Cameron then went on to Baylor to get his Ph.D, and now teaches Theology and Ethics at Campbell Divinity School in North Carolina.

I give you this backstory to paint for you a better picture of the friendship I have with Cameron. Because when he and I started talking about having him on the podcast he pitched to me the idea of talking about the 7 deadly sins and relationships/marriage I wasn't exactly sure what I thought about the idea. I talk a lot about marriage and relationships, and I'm familiar with the 7 deadly sins, but I wasn't sure of how we might connect them and offer something to the listener of value. So I was intrigued. And my intrigue was not disappointed.

In this episode Dr. Jorgenson (sorry I keep switching from Cameron to Dr. Jorgenson) talks about what he refers to as the 7 vices, and why they should be of interest to us today, what we can learn from them, and how they can teach us in more depth about who we are and how we struggle.

In this episode we explore:

Please listen and subscribe to my podcast in the following places, and then leave a comment letting me know what you liked about the show, or what guest you would like to hear from. Thank you so much for your support.

iTunes -- Stitcher

Player FM -- Libsyn

Resources and People Mentioned in this Episode Dr. Cameron Jorgenson Grand Canyon University Baylor University Fuller Theological Seminary Campbell Divinity School

Glittering Vices: A New Look at the Seven Deadly Sins and Their Remedies by Rebecca Konyndyk DeYoung

Food and Faith: A Theology of Eating by Norman Wirzba

Bringing it to the Table: On Farming and Food by Wendell Berry and Michael Pollan

The Art of the Commonplace: The Agrarian Essays of Wendell Berry

Encyclical Letter, Laudato Si, of the Holy Father, Francis, On Care for Our Common Home by Pope Francis

Fight the New Drug

On Evil by Thomas Aquinas

Soil and Sacrament: A Spiritual Memoir of Food and Faith by Fred Bahnson

Pornography and Acedia by Reinhard Hutter

Alton Brown on Foodies, Fame, Fast Food, and Guns

About 8 months ago I was looking for a new challenge in life. I felt like I had begun to play life a little too safe, and was starting to get too comfortable...you know the type of comfortable where you start making excuses for taking risks? The type of comfortable where you stop challenging yourself? That is a dangerous place to be in life. Why? Because when we stop taking risks and doing scary, anxiety provoking things, we often tend to stop growing as well. So we have a choice in life...take risks, grow, and keep moving forward. Or choose to play life safe, not grow, and regress and move backwards. Those are our options. There is no static state, a place where you can just hit cruise control. Either you are taking risks and growing, or you are playing it safe and regressing.

And it just happened that I had also finished Brene Brown's awesome book Daring Greatly the year before. And fresh on my mind was her story of her daughter and swimming. I won't get into the story here (you can hear more about in this episode or read the book), but essentially, Brown talks about the value of showing up ("getting wet") and reframing success. And I thought this was the perfect opportunity for me to show up and redefine my success, as not whether I ran a certain time, or even finished (though that's my goal), but that I risked failure by taking a risk.

That being said I started looking for a new challenge and I immediately went to an area of life that has really helped me a grow a lot....running. Few activities have transformed me as fully as running. Each time I completed a long and hard training season, or finished a marathon or 50k...or just came back from a morning run...I usually learned something new about myself, and the anxiety provoking experience that led to the growth, also gave me a lot of confidence in the process.

So as I chose this new challenge I had just a couple of criteria. 1) I had to show up (I will talk about this in this episode); 2) And there had to be the risk of failure (so not doing something I knew I could do for sure); 3) I saw this as basic criteria to help me grow....show up, but also risk failure.

As I recorded this podcast and typed up this post I'm well aware of the fact that I'm about a week and half out from this huge growth experience. On Saturday, October 17 I will be running my first 50 mile race at the Palo Duro Trail Run outside of Amarillo, Texas. Just getting to this point has been a huge opportunity for growth as I've trained really intensely for the last 6 months; had to hot summer days in training; nagging injuries; and just the mental capacity to focus on a task like this for an extended period of time. And probably the most important factor in all of this is that it has been a team effort. Without the support of my wife and kids I wouldn't even be able to do this. They have sacrificed a lot for me to do this event. So I'm really looking forward to driving out there with them in a rented motor home as we experience this race together. Though my challenge just happens to be a running event right now, all of us find our own challenges in life to help us grow. Many of you have set out on challenges that required you to show up and risk failure...and those experiences have helped you grow

So in this episode I want to explore with you:

• what it would look like for you to show up ("get wet")
• what does it look like for you to risk failure and what can you learn from that
• reframing success
• growing vs. regressing vs. static states
• fears/anxieties of taking risks/growing
• what your next steps might look like

Please listen and subscribe to my podcast in the following places, and then leave a comment letting me know what you liked about the show, or what guest you would like to hear from. Thank you so much for your support.

iTunes -- Stitcher

Player FM -- Libsyn

Topics and Resources Mentioned in this Episode

Palo Duro Trail Run

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

About 8 months ago I was looking for a new challenge in life. I felt like I had begun to play life a little too safe, and was starting to get too comfortable...you know the type of comfortable where you start making excuses for taking risks? The type of comfortable where you stop challenging yourself? That is a dangerous place to be in life. Why? Because when we stop taking risks and doing scary, anxiety provoking things, we often tend to stop growing as well. So we have a choice in life...take risks, grow, and keep moving forward. Or choose to play life safe, not grow, and regress and move backwards. Those are our options. There is no static state, a place where you can just hit cruise control. Either you are taking risks and growing, or you are playing it safe and regressing.

And it just happened that I had also finished Brene Brown's awesome book Daring Greatly the year before. And fresh on my mind was her story of her daughter and swimming. I won't get into the story here (you can hear more about in this episode or read the book), but essentially, Brown talks about the value of showing up ("getting wet") and reframing success. And I thought this was the perfect opportunity for me to show up and redefine my success, as not whether I ran a certain time, or even finished (though that's my goal), but that I risked failure by taking a risk.

That being said I started looking for a new challenge and I immediately went to an area of life that has really helped me a grow a lot....running. Few activities have transformed me as fully as running. Each time I completed a long and hard training season, or finished a marathon or 50k...or just came back from a morning run...I usually learned something new about myself, and the anxiety provoking experience that led to the growth, also gave me a lot of confidence in the process.

So as I chose this new challenge I had just a couple of criteria. 1) I had to show up (I will talk about this in this episode); 2) And there had to be the risk of failure (so not doing something I knew I could do for sure); 3) I saw this as basic criteria to help me grow....show up, but also risk failure.

As I recorded this podcast and typed up this post I'm well aware of the fact that I'm about a week and half out from this huge growth experience. On Saturday, October 17 I will be running my first 50 mile race at the Palo Duro Trail Run outside of Amarillo, Texas. Just getting to this point has been a huge opportunity for growth as I've trained really intensely for the last 6 months; had to hot summer days in training; nagging injuries; and just the mental capacity to focus on a task like this for an extended period of time. And probably the most important factor in all of this is that it has been a team effort. Without the support of my wife and kids I wouldn't even be able to do this. They have sacrificed a lot for me to do this event. So I'm really looking forward to driving out there with them in a rented motor home as we experience this race together. Though my challenge just happens to be a running event right now, all of us find our own challenges in life to help us grow. Many of you have set out on challenges that required you to show up and risk failure...and those experiences have helped you grow

So in this episode I want to explore with you:

Please listen and subscribe to my podcast in the following places, and then leave a comment letting me know what you liked about the show, or what guest you would like to hear from. Thank you so much for your support.

iTunes -- Stitcher

Player FM -- Libsyn

Topics and Resources Mentioned in this Episode

Palo Duro Trail Run

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown