Praxis Podcast with Rhett Smith

I had the opportunity this last Monday to record a video on anxiety with another therapist, and one of the pastors at Preston Trail Community Church in Frisco. And then a few hours later, I talked to a group of parents at Legacy Christian Academy in Frisco about anxiety and depression.

It's obvious that anxiety and depression are prevalent issues affecting our culture today. One only has to read the latest headlines, look into the most up to date statistics, or have a conversation with someone you know....everyone seems to struggle with anxiety and depression at some point in their life.

This is an issue I have talked about a lot, and I continue to talk about it, as it's something I am very passionate about. There are lots of angles to approach this topic, but the most important in my mind is that we reframe the conversation around anxiety and depression as one being about shame and something being wrong with someone...to it's something that affects all of us, and we need to be able to bring it out into the open, and talk about how anxiety and depression can be used as an opportunity for growth.

In this episode I dive into what anxiety and depression are, how to reframe it, what tools you can use, and much more.

I hope you find this helpful.

Some of the Things Mentioned in This Episode

Kevin Love on his battle with anxiety

The Anxious Christian: Can God Use Your Anxiety for Good?

The Concept of Anxiety

Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation

Things Might Go Terribly, Horribly Wrong: The Guide to Life Liberated from Anxiety

Headspace

Don't Panic with Andrew Johnson

Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain

As I mentioned in a previous podcast, I thought I would take some time this year (on occasion) to stop and reflect on my reading of the bible, and how it connects at the intersection of theology and psychology.

So in this episode I want to take some time and just reflect on Genesis 1-4 and some insights that may be helpful for you and your relationships.

Enjoy the episode.

Books Mentioned in this Episode

Creation and Fall: A Theological Exposition of Genesis 1-3 by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

On Being Human: Essays in Theological Anthropology by Ray Anderson

Exclusion and Embrace: A Theological Exploration of Identity, Otherness and Reconciliation by Miroslav Volf

It's been about 5 months since my last podcast episode, as I was needing to take a break for a while why I focused on some other goals.

But it's time for a new podcast season, and in this episode I talk about some new topics I am going to explore this season, as well as some new goals that I have been working on, and how I am using a paper journal to help me stay focused and on track. I hope that this episode motivates you in the new year, and gives you some new ideas to accomplish all that you set out to do.

"Love consists in this, that two solitudes, protect and border and salute each other." -- Rainer Maria Rilke

A couple of weeks ago my wife and I returned from a "marriage adventure" on the Inca Trail in Peru. This adventure (through WinShape and Intrepid), led us for four days and 3 nights hiking along the 33 miles to Machu Picchu.

This was an unbelievable experience for my wife and I as we led four other couples on this marriage adventure. But probably one of the most transformative aspects of the trip was the moments (sometimes very long moments -- hours at a time) of silence as I walked along the trail. And what struck me most was the moments of silence between my wife and I. A comfortable silence where neither of us felt the need to talk or crack jokes, or lighten the levity with noise. But instead, it was that silence that drove me closer to God, and closer to her. And it was in that silence that I really grew.

In this episode I reflect on the importance of silence in relationships, which is something that I'm trying to work on and get better at in my own life.

In the episode I mention the wonderful book by Henri Nouwen, The Way of the Heart: Connecting to God Though Prayer, Wisdom and Silence.

And I also mention the book by Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet.

As many of you know from listening to my podcasts, or reading my blog over the years, is I'm pretty obsessed with the novels of Susan Howatch. Particularly her Starbridge Series of which I'm about to finish my 9th reading of the series in the last 15 years. It's that impactful and transforming in my life.

But I talk about one book in particular in this podcast episode (Absolute Truths by Susan Howatch), and more specifically about one verse. The verse is Romans 8:28. The NIV translation is as follows:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

The Scottish theologian William Barclay translated the verse the following way:

"God intermingles all things for good for those who love Him." (Romans 8:28, translated by William Barclay)

I'm particularly drawn to this translation of the Greek text, especially as it tends to communicate that God takes all the bad and good, all the light and dark, all the negative and positive, and mingles them together. God weaves them together for good. God doesn't necessarily remove all the dark, but in mingling them together creates a beautiful tapestry of our lives that contain both the light and the dark. The implication of the translation has very different trajectory and understanding for one's life, than another translation.

With this in mind, I reflect in this episode on this translation.

In the episode I also talk about an article my dad wrote called Our Intermingling God, which I find particularly insightful for what is being discussed in this episode.

"I'd like to know more, of course, but I've accepted that there's nothing more he has to say; I've accepted that there's a limit on our knowledge of even those who are closest to us. The older one gets the more one realises how saturated life is in mystery, and the biggest mystery of all, it often seems to me, is the mystery of the human personality." -- Lyle Ashworth

Scandalous Risks by Susan Howatch

In this episode I explore the mystery that are people, and how it's not really until we create a safe space for others, become curious about them, and acknowledge that not all is to be known about ourselves and others, can we truly live in grace with one another.

Mentioned in the Episode

Lost

Susan Howatch

Starbridge Series

Glittering Images

Glamorous Powers

Ultimate Prizes

Scandalous Risks

Mystical Paths

Absolute Truths

Dallas Willard

Renovation of the Heart

Jean Marie Rilke

Letters to a Young Poet

Kalil Gibran

The Prophet

One of the things that happens at the beginning of every year, or at the start of a major transition, is that you see people setting goals. If you were like me you probably thought about all the goals you wanted to achieve in the New Year, and you might have even taken the time to write them down. But if you are also like me, it's possible that you have declared goals in the past, but never quite saw them to completion.

I count it a privilege that I get to spend about 1200 hours a year in session with people because I get to learn all kinds of helpful tools and tips from them. Though they are coming to get help from me (and I hope they find it helpful), I too am learning from them.

So in this episode I want to share with you 8 principles that I have found to be helpful in setting and completing goals. These are principles I've gleaned from reading, and from clients and colleagues and friends, and most importantly, they are principles I have put into action and had success with in my own life.

So in this episode I share with you these 8 important principles when it comes to goal setting:

1. Focus on a limited number of goals (ex. 1-4 goals).
2. Allow goals to build sequentially over time, or have "baby steps" built into them.
3. Be very specific. (i.e. not I want to be fit, but rather, I will run this specific 5K).
4. Attach goal to a bigger purpose/vision (i.e. I want to be able to keep up with my kids, etc.)
5. Create accountability.
6. Write the goals down
7. Re-Evaluate the goals along the way (i.e. have a check-in process)
8. Celebrate the accomplishing or achievement of the goal.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family by Patrick Lencioni

Palo Duro Trail Run

Charity Water

Scott Harrison interview on the Rich Roll Podcast

The new near can bring forth a lot of varying emotions from people. In my experience, a large number of people come into the new year very excited about change and all the potential possibilities that await them. It's often a time to start anew. But there is also a large number of people who come into the new year with a lot of fears about what awaits them, perhaps because the prior year was so challenging. And when I think about these varying experiences I think about anxiety. Anxiety is both an excitement about something new and that we care about, but it can also be about things that create fear for us. Anxiety can be healthy or unhealthy as I have written about and said many times before.

In this episode I want to explore some principles and strategies that you can implement for yourself, or help others with this year. So if you work with a group of people this could be very helpful for you. And to do this, I primarily "piggyback" off a recent article I wrote for the Fuller Youth Institute called Helping Adolescents Work Through the Rising Tide of Anxiety.

In the article and in this podcast I explore:

• Create space and give permission to talk about anxiety.
• Help identify the roots of anxiety.
• Provide tools to help manage the anxiety.
• Reframe anxiety as an opportunity to grow.
• Practice working through the anxiety.

Resources Mentioned in This Podcast

Helping Adolescents Work Through the Rising Tide of Anxiety

Downloadable PDF of the Pain Cycle (i.e. feelings/emotions)

Feeling Word Vocabulary (Think 2 Perform)

Often when I'm working with someone in session I try to think of visual and tangible ways that they can remember some of the things that we are processing together. And what I have noticed a lot about relational interactions is that there tends to be this movement that I have found to be helpful for people.

This movement goes something like this: a) Ask for what you need/want/desire; b) But then let go of expectations of what you just asked for; c) And then hold on to yourself. Basically the posture is about opening yourself up to be vulnerable in relationships to communicate what you desire, while at the same time not demanding or holding your spouse to that request. And as you do that, learning to emotionally regulate yourself ("hold on").

People who are able to do this in their relationships tend to have very healthy and successful relationships in my opinion.

So in this episode I talk explore what it means to:

• ask for what you want/need/desire
• let go of those expectations
• hold on to yourself

As many of you know, I love to run. And over the last 3-4 years I have been getting more and more into trail running, as well into ultrarunning (which is technically anything over 26.2 miles). And about a month ago I finished my second ever 50K race, and my second race ever at the Palo Duro Trail Run. My first 50K was the Cowtown Ultra, and a year after that I ran my first race in Palo Duro which was a 50 miler. This time I decided to dial back a bit in terms of race mileage for several reasons...but primarily so I would finish earlier in the day and have more time to hang out with my family, since camping is a big part of this trip.

And like any long race I've done, I usually learn some amazing life lessons that help me grow as a person. And often these life lessons I am able to apply into my counseling practice with others, and help them grow as well. In this episode I talk about:

• The importance of preparation and training and practice for any goals we are trying to achieve. And how all of our practice over time helps us gain insights that help us continue to refine the preparation phases.
• The reality of setbacks in our preparation as we try and achieve goals, and what you can do when you come upon a setback, which in my experience, we all inevitably do.
• The importance of having a good "team" around you (i.e. family, friends, colleagues, etc.)
• The importance of "waiting things out" when you hit a setback. We all have to persevere, and sometimes it's just about "waiting things out."
• Why setting your goals in the context of a larger narrative (i.e. bigger picture), as well as the importance of enjoying the pursuit of your goals.

Links Mentioned in the Episode

Palo Duro Trail Run