Pretty Deadly Podcast

What is the difference between being responsible for ourselves and making it our job to prevent an attack? The idea that we should have to make different choices or live our lives differently than men can be frustrating, and yet, as women, we have to uphold a heightened awareness when we are in certain public spaces, or when alcohol is being consumed, on a dark street, or alone in a public bathroom. This episode explores potentially dangerous places, how to be aware, but also how to assert ourselves and navigate those public spaces where we have a right to be. Kate and Susie also talk about emotional awareness and our own vulnerabilities as a form of self-defense.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Since the advance of the #MeToo movement, there has been more attention and awareness around harassment and the reality that women are often the victims of male microaggressions. This includes more innocuous behavior like “manspreading” but other more aggressive ways that women lose space and power when out in the world. In this episode, Susie talks about creating space both physically and psychologically. She also introduces her infamous, “bitches on the dancefloor” move to help you at a concert, on the dancefloor, or anywhere you feel that someone has invaded your space.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kate shares about her own experience with sexual trauma and the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness that can accompany violence and the grieving process. Susie explains how feelings like you can’t trust yourself or that you let yourself down can weigh you down after trauma, but self-defense can help address those issues. She also talks about how addressing our fears sort of physically and head on can help us use our bodies and look inwards to recover from trauma. Also, the “survivor” versus “victim” mentality and how self-judgment can get in the way.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Susie’s screams alerted her neighbors in the event of her attack and disrupted the violence. Is making noise a good form of self-defense? Is it always appropriate? Susie tells Kate about the benefits of noise to prevent or disrupt an attack and also talks about technology like panic buttons and apps. Is it reasonable to think we can wait for emergency services to protect us? Again, Susie returns to basic self-defense methods, using your own bodyweight and strengths to empower yourself against an attacker. Are there things we can say? Also, the simple power of the word, “NO.”

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We sometimes hear that you should give in to the demands of an attacker, especially if they have a weapon, but is this the best advice? If you have the ability to run- should you? And what about that “run in a zig zag” theory to escape flying bullets-- does it really work? Quoting "The Gift of Fear" author Gavin de Becker, Susie breaks down misconceptions about whether to comply with attacker demands placing emphasis on your body’s natural self-defense system. This episode also raises the very important reality that every attack is different and not every perpetrator has the same MO.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kate asks about the value of pressure points—targeting the throat, eyes, or groin to gain leverage in a self-defense situation. While actually hitting a target or pressure point could strengthen your position, Susie explains why focusing on pressure points and targets is not the best strategy to protect yourself. As these targets can be difficult to strike in an actual attack because so much movement, Susie offers other defense strategies that focus on center of gravity and positioning that can create space and generate more opportunities to escape.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever been told not to wear your headphones when running or walking alone? What is the implicit messaging here and is it really preventing an attacker? Is asking a woman not to wear headphones akin to telling women to dress less sexy? Is it a woman’s responsibility to stop an attacker? Do her actions and choices make her a target? Susie explores the misconceptions around the “no-headphones” myth and also gives advice around how to create more sensory awareness, even if you do decide to use cell phones and mobile technology.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Susie & Kate talk about how our natural or biological self-defense system is always on, even in our sleep. Knowing more about how our natural self-defense system works can help us to pay attention when we are getting warning signals. Kate and Susie also talk about the way our bodies fight for us to keep us alive in both conscious and subconscious ways. We both get a bit emotional around the idea that our bodies will fight for us, even when we feel like we can’t. It’s about the discovery of innate self-love and it’s powerful.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Susie answers questions about weapons: carrying weapons, mace, knives, and whether they are useful or necessary in a self-defense situation. She explains how to prepare yourself if you do want to carry a weapon. In so many cases a weapon can be used against you and so it’s important to understand the risks of carrying a gun or knife. Also, using everyday items like your keys. What are you really going to do with them if you splay them in your fingers? There are other ways to use items around you, including what’s in your purse, like tampons.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kate asks Susie how to handle different angles of attack, for example, how to deal with a frontal, side, or an attack from the back. In this episode, Susie explains some theory around defense, including the disruption of a flow. Rather than hitting back or defending an attack, you are disrupting the flow, by moving out of the way. When someone is coming forward, she returns to the frontal kick, and introduces a new “straight-punch” she calls the, “Cup of Coffee.” Susie talks about some unexpected defenses, like the fetal position. Also, what to do when you’re grabbed by the hair.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.