Professionally Average

This week on Professionally Average, West Virginia gave us the full experience. 😂

We start with Connection 304 Appalachian Ale from Parkersburg Brewing Company—which talked a BIG game on the can...

and earned itself a brutal ONE STAR. ⭐

Then Mothman Black IPA from Greenbrier Valley Brewing Company shows up.

We hate IPAs.

It's black.

It's 6.7%.

There's a cryptid on the can.

This should've gone TERRIBLY.

Instead...

THREE STARS. ⭐⭐⭐

Apparently Mothman knows how to brew a beer. 😂

Then Carp takes us inside a car-industry golf scramble at Stonewall where he's dressed as the Green Power Ranger, swinging four clubs, drinking six beers by hole six, and arguing across a valley with another golf group.

The other group keeps squealing their golf-cart tires.

Carp tells them to knock it off.

They tell Carp to F off.

Carp tells them to come get some.

And then...

THEY ROLL THE GOLF CART DOWN THE MOUNTAIN. 💀⛳

You genuinely cannot write this shit.

🍺 Two West Virginia beer reviews
⭐ One absolute one-star disaster
👹 Mothman saves the day
☕ Apparently black IPA = breakfast beer
⛳ Golf Power Rangers
🍻 Car-industry scramble chaos
💀 Instant golf-cart karma
😂 And one perfectly timed “SKRT SKRT”

Talkin’ Sh*t & Tellin’ Lies.

Except unfortunately, this one actually happened.

We hate IPAs.

Like… legitimately don't like them.

So naturally, this week on Professionally Average we decided the best possible idea was to review TWO OF THEM. 😂🍺

First up is Bane of Existence from Hitchhiker Brewing Company—a Pittsburgh IPA that we were completely prepared to destroy before we ever tasted it.

Except…

we actually liked the damn thing.

Then we stepped up to DirtWolf Double IPA from Victory Brewing Company at a casual 8.7% ABV, and things escalated accordingly. 😂

🍺 Two Pennsylvania breweries
⭐ A shocking 3-star IPA
🐺 One seriously badass can
💀 8.7% worth of bad decisions
😂 IPA stereotypes
🌲 Garmin, his puffer vest & loose pocket granola
🎙 And the usual Professionally Average bullshit

The best part? Even though DirtWolf wasn't really your kind of beer, you both admitted that Victory pretty much delivered exactly what the label promised—and that people who love aggressive double IPAs would probably love it. 

And underneath all the beer stupidity, there's actually a cool PA moment in this episode: you explain that Professionally Average is now in year three, it was built as an excuse for two buddies to hang out and catch up, and despite jobs and life getting in the way, you guys haven't given up on it. 

We might disappear sometimes.
But PA ain't going anywhere.

After a month away… Professionally Average is BACK.

Life happened. Work happened. Summer happened. And somehow we finally got Josh and Carp back in the studio at the same time. 😂

First order of business: crown the King of Q2. 👑🍺

After a quarter filled with everything from Unicorn Farts and Apple Butter Ale to Mountain Beer, Hellfire Alchemist, Runaway Beer Truck and Pseudo Sue, we finally have our second beer headed to THE FINAL POUR.

And naturally, after handling official business, everything goes to hell.

We’re talking:

🍺 King of Q2
👑 The road to The Final Pour
💀 One of our four-star beers literally disappearing
🎸 Kid Rock concert chaos
👮 Fights and cops we apparently didn't notice
🍻 Tailgate side quests
🏓 Teaching 21-year-olds how beer pong is done
😂 And a month worth of Professionally Average bullshit

We disappeared for a minute.

We definitely didn’t get any smarter while we were gone.

This week on Professionally Average we reviewed Mountain Beer from Big Timber Brewing Company …

…and immediately regretted it 😂🍺

The can art?
10/10.

The actual beer?
Absolutely criminal.

Between new microphone chaos, camera failures, and one of the harshest beer reviews we’ve ever done…

this episode spiraled FAST.

In this episode:
🍺 brutally honest beer review
😂 “bad decisions at 4am” tasting notes
🔥 Mountaineer tailgate debates
💀 couch-burning comparisons
🎙 first episode with the new mic setup

This week on Professionally Average we found something rare…

A TRUE 4-star beer.

We tried Runaway Beer Truck from Berkeley Springs Brewing Company and it completely blew us away.

Light beer feel.
Craft beer quality.
Lime finish.
Perfect summer vibes.

And most importantly…

✅ Grass cutting approved
✅ Stock the fridge approved
✅ Professionally Average certified

This may be one of the best beers we’ve reviewed yet.

This week on Professionally Average we tried one of the strangest beers we’ve reviewed yet…

Apple Butter Ale from Berkeley Springs Brewing Company 🍎🍺

Inspired by the famous Apple Butter Festival in Berkeley Springs, West Virginia, this beer sounded like it had serious potential…

but things got weird FAST.

In this episode:
🍺 honest Apple Butter Ale review
😂 “this tastes like Old Spice”
🔥 cozy fall beer vibes
💀 Cracker Barrel energy
🍻 another chaotic booze review

Is it terrible?
No.

Would we buy it again?
…also no 😂

This week on Professionally Average we realized something terrible…

we might officially be too old for the bar scene 😂

Between terrible beer, reminiscing about Morgantown nights, arguing about jukeboxes, and realizing we now prefer chill bars over chaos…

this episode got painfully relatable FAST.

We also reviewed Mountain Beer from Big Timber Brewing Company and uh…

yeah… don’t buy it.

In this episode:
🍺 brutally honest beer review
😂 “we’re getting old” realization
🎵 jukebox rage
🍻 Morgantown memories
🔥 bar culture debates
💀 first episode with the new microphones

This week on Professionally Average we found a beer called Unicorn Farts…

…and obviously we had to try it.

Bad decision.

DuClaw Brewing Company created a glitter-filled pink lemonade sour beer that looked amazing…

…but tasted absolutely horrific.

In this episode:

🦄 glitter beer chaos
🍺 insane can art
😂 instant regret
💀 one of our harshest reviews ever
🔥 certified disaster

This week on Professionally Average we brought our moms on the show for a Mother’s Day special…

…and somehow ended up reviewing a beer that tasted more like wine than beer 🍷🍺

We tried Bubbles Rosé Fruited Ale from Rhinegeist Brewery and things got very divided.

Our moms liked it.

We definitely had questions.

In this episode:

🍺 Mother’s Day beer review
😂 moms roasting us live
🍷 beer that tastes like wine
🤦‍♂️ failed flower gift idea
🔥 classic Professionally Average chaos

This week on Professionally Average… things got weird FAST.

We had surprise guests.

A mystery beer wrapped in hot dog paper.

And somehow ended up reviewing New Belgium Brewing Company Voodoo Ranger Sweet Ride Juicy IPA.

The craziest part?

Corky normally hates IPAs… but this one may have actually changed his mind.

In this episode:
🍺 Honest IPA review
🌭 Hot dog wrapping paper chaos
😂 Surprise guests
🤼 Thumb wrestling decides the final score
🔥 One of our weirdest reviews yet