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Ever wish someone handed you the map for approaching people in leather spaces without stepping on landmines? We unpack protocol as a living language—one that helps us communicate identity, negotiate consent, and feel like we belong—whether you’re navigating a bar, a dungeon, or a crowded inbox.
We start by reframing protocol from “rules for subs” to a shared system that binds everyone. Then we get practical: how to build pre-approach awareness, read the room, and use simple first contact—introductions and a handshake—to set a respectful tone. You’ll hear why theatrical submission backfires, how to extend honorifics “on credit” and assess whether they’re earned, and the safest way to approach collared folks, couples, or triads when you don’t know their internal dynamic.
We also translate those same principles into digital life. Thoughtful DMs beat “hey,” explicit photos without consent are out, and profile-reading is basic respect. On the community side, we cover play space etiquette—observing scenes, protecting space around implements, no unsolicited touch or photos—and why dungeon monitors are non-negotiable. We touch on event microcustoms, the tension between bar chatter and contest speeches, and how inclusivity and neurodiversity call for clearer signals and gentler corrections. Along the way, we share a story about the “never touch someone’s cover” custom and why small protocols can reveal who’s truly in community.
By the end, you’ll have concrete steps that turn awkwardness into invitation, and a template for creating your own personal protocol that signals values, boundaries, and openness. If this helped, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s finding their on-ramp, and leave a review to tell us the one protocol you think more people should learn.
Support the show
Ask Edge! Go to https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHREDGE to leave ask a question or leave feedback. Find Edge's other content on Instagram and Twitter. Also visit his archive of educational videos, Tchick-Tchick.
By Edge4.7
3030 ratings
Send us a text
Ever wish someone handed you the map for approaching people in leather spaces without stepping on landmines? We unpack protocol as a living language—one that helps us communicate identity, negotiate consent, and feel like we belong—whether you’re navigating a bar, a dungeon, or a crowded inbox.
We start by reframing protocol from “rules for subs” to a shared system that binds everyone. Then we get practical: how to build pre-approach awareness, read the room, and use simple first contact—introductions and a handshake—to set a respectful tone. You’ll hear why theatrical submission backfires, how to extend honorifics “on credit” and assess whether they’re earned, and the safest way to approach collared folks, couples, or triads when you don’t know their internal dynamic.
We also translate those same principles into digital life. Thoughtful DMs beat “hey,” explicit photos without consent are out, and profile-reading is basic respect. On the community side, we cover play space etiquette—observing scenes, protecting space around implements, no unsolicited touch or photos—and why dungeon monitors are non-negotiable. We touch on event microcustoms, the tension between bar chatter and contest speeches, and how inclusivity and neurodiversity call for clearer signals and gentler corrections. Along the way, we share a story about the “never touch someone’s cover” custom and why small protocols can reveal who’s truly in community.
By the end, you’ll have concrete steps that turn awkwardness into invitation, and a template for creating your own personal protocol that signals values, boundaries, and openness. If this helped, subscribe, share it with a friend who’s finding their on-ramp, and leave a review to tell us the one protocol you think more people should learn.
Support the show
Ask Edge! Go to https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHREDGE to leave ask a question or leave feedback. Find Edge's other content on Instagram and Twitter. Also visit his archive of educational videos, Tchick-Tchick.

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